Hey am really glad you all liked the 1st part AND i am seriously overwhelmed with the response' I cant believe myself I am updating though haven't slept for 22 hours.. seriously' but this idea was itching me so thought to pen down before I forget'well last part was swayam's pov and now sharon's and as it was becoming too long i decided to turn this os into ss that will will have some more parts.. you tell me if its okay or should i conclude it in next part... really do reply as it seriously makes me want to write more..
PART 2
Sharon's pov:
I got up feeling so calm after ages.. seeing swayam by my side I smiled and thought he looks so cute while sleeping ' but soon my smile vanished as I remembered last night.. and I closed my eyes in embarassment of what I have done' and I thought of escaping before he wakes up and questions me about last night.. but I know this time I cannot escape neither swayam nor his questions.. and I know for sure if I'll ignore him now I have to answer him in one of the classrooms' hell.. why cant ever I think before acting.. so I sat beside him looking at him thinking what to do with my messed up life.. and what had brought about this act.. 2 years and my life has taken so many turns and I don't know what to do more..
2 years back I finally acknowledged the existence of swayam shekhawat in my life when he danced on the stage' and the way he danced took my breath away .. and his eyes were looking at me like he knew me .. which is true he could read me like an open book even then' and I got scared .. and tried to run away from his eyes.. so I tried to push him away as far as possible so that I can save my heart.. but as destiny has it.. it brought out circumstances that always brought us together..
At RDX's party in my state of unconsciousness had given into my feelings but the next morning when I woke up.. I realized it was no dream but a reality.. so I started being more rude and more ignorant to him hurting him where it hurts the most at every opportunity I got.. just to save myself from getting more closer to him..
Because in a way he was beginning to control my every action .. and I can never let anyone else to do that.. like the time when he was made ACS he made me choose rehearsal hall the best place to work.. like the time when he made me do what he wanted.. I realized it soon .. so there came a distraction' THE SECRET ADMIRER'
I loved the way the secret admirer made me feel special.. the little things he used to do to bring smile on my face.. and secretly wishing swayam to be the secret admirer on one side and not on other side.. but I had known it all along in my unconscious that it would be swayam.. and it hurt because even he thought that I am materialistic bitch.. or rather I wanted to think that.. as it gave me one more reason to push swayam away'
Then started the full on battle - ignorance hatred depression passion jealousy and beneath all lied swayam's love for me and my confused and unsecured feelings' and FINALLY Almost 6 months back I accepted that I do have feelings for swayam shekhawat.. and thought of giving these feelings a chance A TRIAL RELATIONSHIP' at dance camp I realized how important he is to me' and when I finally thought I have cleared my confusion.. there comes another twist' I had ASTHMA'
And that brought stop to all my feelings.. I now wanted to be alone.. never in my life I want to be burden on swayam's life or as the matter of fact on anyone's life.. I didn't want anyone to jeopardize their life because of me' initially I thought that my ignorance will lead to break up and swayam will finally get frustrated and will feel that I am not the right one for him and will move away' but how could swayam be predictable' he became my shadow and anything I said didn't matter except the fact that I had said "I LIKE YOU" and at that time I knew I had to tell him the truth so that I and he both can move on and have a more stress free life.. without pain and confusion'
But how can I be wrong all the time' If I thought that break up will make swayam move on' then its as if Vicky is the most intelligent person ever' swayam just stopped expressing his feelings.. and like before hid behind but kept on loving and caring for me' he thought that I will not notice him.. but I could see how he was hiding his pain behind every smile and that too for me so that I don't feel guilty' but I don't know when I had started reading his eyes.. that only showed love and care for me.. I tried to pair him up with ashi knowing she had feelings for him.. but whenever she talked with swayam I didn't like it.. and uneasiness would increase.. although swayam never encouraged her.. but cant help jealousy can i??...
Now it had been 2 months since swayam knows I have asthma.. and it was fine .. I was trying not to hurt swayam anymore.. by my words.. so I was acting safe.. neither too friendly nor ignorant.. and was bottling up my emotions for too long'
And everything was going okay' till yesterday' where my life took an unexpected turn' after my talk with my dad..
Yesterday dad told me the truth of my life' he told me my life was never mine' he told me about my mother.. and I don't know what should I do?? Although he told me he'll understand my decision.. but there was a plead beneath his every word' I have not seen my superman.. my dad this helpless before .. this drained out .. for the love he has for me' he has for his wife' I was not feeling anything.. I was too numb to react after knowing the biggest truth of my life'
So I without thinking came to swayam's house to feel something.. to feel his love.. so that I can feel alive.. and acted so desperate' now when I think about it.. I wonder if swayam would have compiled to my wishes' how would I have felt' I know that I would not have regretted it.. .but neither would have felt it right' i know I would not have blamed swayam.. but I would have blamed me for loosing my control' swayam how can you always be so perfect?? You didn't even kiss me back ' I feel so blessed to have you in my life' I know how difficult it would have been for you to control yourself when the love of your life is literally begging to show her your love' how can you love me so much!! Any other guy would not have stopped but only you'
I was so lost in my world.. that I didn't realize I had been crying.. not until I heard " Sharon please don't cry .. your tears ..it hurts.."
And I just could not stop myself just hugged him.. and cried my heart out' and said' I am sorry.. swayam..
He let me cry preparing himself for the talk'
When my cries.. subsided and I knew it was time to tell him the truth' truth which will break his heart forever' and my heart too' I was prepared to answer his every question' why, what and how for what I did last night' but he just asked " Are you angry at me Sharon?? I am sorry.. I did not want to hurt you ..!! are you crying because of me?? I am so sorry.. but' you.. crying.. confused.. anyways' you do not think I am gay na..i mixed sleeping pills in the coffee.. I am sorry..??" and I just exclaimed "WHAT??" Swayam is not asking questions and instead is saying sorry' I was prepared for his every question and he is apologizing ' why?? Because of mixing sleeping pills in my coffee' like seriously' as if the conversation we were going to have was not embarrassing .. now add to it.. I have to justify that I do not think he is gay' however anyone would think that' oh god.. why my life is this unpredictable'
Ohk.. now back to him.. he was till now saying how sorry he is for god knows what.. and that he is not gay ..so I just smacked my lips on his to make him stop talking urging him to respond' and when he was not responding I literally ordered swayam respond to the kiss swayam.. I don't know out of fear or passion or love.. he started responding and when I finally thought he'll not speak for a while I pulled back ' only to find him dazed lost in the kiss' I got out of the bed' and said " I am going to freshen up.. till then make coffee.. we'll talk then.. " when I found him not responding' I increased my voice and said " is that understood ??" he just nodded and sprinted out of the bed towards kitchen'. And I went towards the washroom preparing myself for THE TALK'
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well please do respond.. appreciation and criticism are both welcome.. and part 3 will be updated shortly..
lots of love
aditi
Arjun
Cricket
Indian Mythology
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