Manveer OS:Break Of The Dawn - Page 3

Originally posted by: ...navina...

res😊 edited:

I have so much to say , I don't know where to start😕. Okay , let's start from the top😉. This OS was (EXTREMELY) long awaited. And it was so worth the wait😃.

U know Payel di ... we use the word "awesome" so loosely , that it has lost it's meaning. Whenever anybody updates a chapter - we call it "awesome" ; now when a truly AWESOME piece of writing is in front of us ... THAT WORD IS FALLING SHORT😒! So , other than calling it awesome ... your first part of this amazing OS was EXQUISITE.

I loved everything about it. Your writing made it feel as if we're witnessing the unfolding of this story , right before our eyes. The dialogues were superb👏 . The underlying meaning behind each dialogue of Manyata & Uday was most enjoyable😳.

Jainandini caused her own downfall🤢. Her jealousy of Manyata made her go to Aryan. She has put BOTH Uday & Manyata into grave danger now😭. She , herself ; is lucky to have escaped from the evil clutches of Aryan. I just hope , she recovers enough to tell Mrnalini ji - what she has done😡. Uday was correct in calling her a : little girl ... because that's exactly what she was ... an immature girl who didn't think things through!!!

Your description of Lady Manyata was excellent. One could picture her as an exotic being. No wonder , the King from the enemy territory ; risked everything ... just to meet her😳.

Their love-making was just ... OUT OF THIS WORLD☺️. Both Uday & Manyata weren't virgins ... they did have physical inter-course before . BUT this time was different. In making love to each other ... they were touching the other's soul😳. It was beautiful when their souls connected ... it was magical when their souls intertwined. Such a bond is everlasting ... but the question is : "will either of them survive this night 😭?"

Senapathi Aryan Rai as well as General Seth , sound like demons🤢. I hope their hunting trip bears no fruit. Or better still ... I hope King Udayveer slays them 😈!

Ooo , one more thing - your poetry was wonderful👏.

Sorry di ... for the long comment. (I'll keep it short next time)

please continue soon ,

loved the update ❤️

thanks for the pm😊

Love you Payel di 🤗 .

PS ... I had reserved this post yesterday (sunday) , but today when i came ... this OS was missing😲. It was only then that I realised that u posted it in FF Forum instead of our DEK Forum😆. That's the reason why the edit took so long ... because I COULDn'T FIND IT 🤣 .

Originally posted by: Roze12

fantastic & beautiful OS...👏👏👏...loved it panchaali puttar...😳great and different concept...

..👍🏼..loved the whole plot...⭐️...manveer scene was awesum and hot...☺️..very well written...

great work puttar...👏...poor jai...🤣...bechari ko saath bura hoa..😆...but maid wala role...

usay bohut suit kr rha ha...👍🏼...ufff uday ki body mat describe kiya kro ...☺️...mekko khuch

khuch hota ha...lakin maza bi ata ha☺️...thank u so much for hot gutter OS...🤗... please

update second chappy soon...😳thanks for the PM...and also thanks for the beautiful OS...

love u so much...🤗

Originally posted by: panchaali

Navina you make me cry with your updates now you are making me cry with your wonderful comment 😭 Lekin ye tho khushi ke aanso hain ... right di 😉?

Dear why are you telling me sorry! Are you mad! A little bit😆

You have given me the best comment till now... O I'm so pleased😃!!!

I am writing with my eye conditions only for some nice bunches of persons like you 🤗 . Aww thank you. And thanx 4 replying😊.

Originally posted by: coolsaloni.nira

Hey Payal ...😳

I dont knw where should i start frm ??

what should i say to commend ur awesum writing,??

how should i express to you tht i "LLLOOOVVVEEDDD" ur story??

i m really falling short of words yaar. i mean whatever i would say i knw it would all be a understatement.

u r a ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️.

hats off to u.

How can u write so amazingly beautiful yaar ?

i mean whneever i read ur story, i always feel tht i m reading a novel written by some great writer.

I think u should really think of writing a novel sometime.

i m 100% sure tht would gonna be smashing hit👏

coming to the chapter,,, i must say it was

awesum, fantastic, amazing, stupendous, beautiful,mindblowing, great,

I loved the entire chapter ,,,each nd every word, right frm the beginning till the v end.

Manveer love making was beautiful...the way u described nd present it was really mesmerising.

I feel bad fr whatever happened to jay.

I hope this senapti aryan gets the dreadful punishment fr the gravest of crime tht he did to jay.🤢

Now waiting eagerly fr next chapter dear..

update soon

thnx fr ur pm.

i hv fallen in love with ur writing🤗

p.s one question, y did u post the story here in ff section ?? y nt in dek forum ???🤔

Originally posted by: panchaali

Dear if I say thank you for this comment it will be very less,,,,,, awww😳

I just wanna hug you 🤗 and just wanna say that I write with my eye conditions only for people like you...,,,,,thanku,,,ofcourse u can hug me, 🤗😆

You are so encouraging Saloni,,,,,,,thnksss dear 😳

Originally posted by: panchaali

Dear Sanjana It is a four part OS..it is not finishing here and after reading all of these parts you will understand that it is best as an OS 😊

Originally posted by: dumas

brilliant os loved the start emotions were wild loved how you describe the place and the feeling giving the back ground as we along awesome beautifully done thanks for the pm