Part 23
This song is for Arnav because my heart hurts for his...
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fnn9JlqqTE4[/YOUTUBE]
'Khushi, I came after you. Tonight we'll talk about why. Right now you have every right to be confused about things. But I will say one thing - you haven't deceived me, stop thinking you have. For the moment, we need to concentrate on why we are here and make it through the day. Can you do that?' She nodded silently.
'Good. Tonight then...' he whispered.
'Tonight' she whispered back.
He lifted one hand and brushed away the tear running down her cheek. 'You ok?' he asked quietly.
Khushi took a deep breath and nodded. 'May I use the bathroom before we go downstairs please?' she whispered. 'Sure.. it's through there, Khushi,' he said as he pointed her in the direction of the bedroom and adjoining en-suite bathroom.
She walked into his bedroom, his unmistakable scent permeating her senses. Her eyes fell on the bed. Only the right side was crumpled, indicating that he preferred to sleep on that side of the bed. Khushi turned and walked into the stunning bathroom and cleaned the smudged khol under her eyes and tried to cool her flushed cheeks with some cold water. She stared at herself in the mirror. She felt like she had just run a marathon. But at least Arnav-ji knew the truth now. She felt relieved.
Khushi emerged after 5 minutes looking much more composed. She picked up her bag and folder and flashed Arnav a big smile, 'shall we go Arnav-ji, the conference is about to begin.'
They walked out of his suite together and walked to the foyer.
'Khushi, I'll come to your room at about 7:30pm.' It wasn't a question. More of a statement. She nodded. Khushi walked towards the conference hall, while Arnav walked towards his meeting location in the opposite direction.
Khushi took a deep breath as she took her seat in the conference hall. She knew that thoughts of tonight would keep distracting her but she promised herself that she was going to do her best to TRY and concentrate. After all she was here to learn.
Meanwhile on the other side of the hotel, after 3 solid hours of meetings and a severe case of distractibility which was quickly morphing into irritation, Arnav decided that he needed some time out to think. He cancelled the remaining meeting and then walked to the hotel front desk where he hired out car. Hours of long aimless driving to nowhere in particular helped clear some mind space.
He stopped the car and stepped out. A light mist of rain was beginning to fall. It was refreshing. Arnav stared into the distant hills and valleys. He really needed to sort out what was going on inside his head before he spoke to Khushi this evening. He had bravely declared that they would be talking about what the each wanted from this... this..what? Liaison? Link up? Affair? ...relationship? What did he want? Khushi wasn't the type of woman who indulged in casual dalliances and now that he had a much better understanding of her; there was no way he would ask her for anything like that either. That left one option. The question was he brave enough to attempt a relationship? His history would testify otherwise.
He inhaled and exhaled heavily running his hand through his damp hair.
Navigating this was difficult. More difficult than cracking the trickiest, intricate, complex multi-billion deals.
But isn't she worth much more than all the billions in this world put together...whispered the angel whilst the devil nodded sagely in agreement.
She was. Khushi Kumari Gupta was quite priceless.
It hit him. Arnav Singh Raizada had fallen hard for Khushi Kumari Gupta.
He waited for a feeling of terror to overcome him and make him change his mind. It didn't.
Arnav closed his eyes and she appeared instantly, a perfect image from last night. She was beautiful. On the inside where it mattered. Her principles, integrity, strength of character, determination, honesty...all these made her beautiful. Her beautiful smile was just icing on a perfect cake.
Arnav took another deep breath. He was ready to do this.
Now he had to convince her.
===================================================
Khushi walked backed to her room. It was 6:30pm. Another hour until it was time. She felt like groaning. Why was the day dragging so much? She inserted her key card into the slot and entered her room wondering if there would be anything waiting for her today.
She wasn't disappointed.
A big bouquet of sunny yellow cheerful sunflowers sat on the little coffee table. She loved sunflowers! But how did Arnav-ji know that she wondered. A little envelope was propped up against the vase. She raced to open it, tearing the envelope off like an excited child ripping open a birthday present.
See you at 7:30. Dress warmly.
Arnav
Khushi traced the letters of his name with her index finger. Arnav. Not ASR, not Arnav Singh Raizada, not A...just Arnav. She exhaled.
Dress warmly.
o...k, she thought. Where were they going, she wondered.
She glanced through her limited wardrobe; she hadn't exactly packed for a first date and certainly not one where she had to stay warm. She picked a light yellow salwar kameez. It was made from the lightest chiffon material with a satin underlay. The bust had a light sprinkling of sequins on it making it perfect for evening. It was one of her favourites. She left her hair open and applied a pale pink lipstick and some khol. She pulled out her beige pure pashmina shawl, that would definitely keep her warm.
It was only 7:10pm. Urrrggghh.
She plonked herself on the corner of the bed and switched on the TV, randomly flicking through the channels in an aim to distract herself. Her eyes kept wandering to the digital clock by the bed. Each minute dragged on more slowly than the last.
7:29pm. Finally.
Khushi stood up and straightened her kameez, adjusted the shawl and checked her face once more. Her heartbeat began to increase slowly. He should be here any second.
7:30pm. She heard a knock. Her breath caught in her throat. Her stomach flipped. Her feet remained rooted to the ground. She had been waiting for this moment all day and now that it was finally here, she felt like she was frozen to the ground.
The knock came again. She took a deep breath and slowly walked to the door, swallowing as she opened it.
Khushi completely forgot her nerves when she saw him. Not because he was there, but because of how he looked. He was dressed casually in black boots, pair of blue jeans, a black round neck sweater and a black jacket. His hair was freshly washed and there were no traces of hair gel.
Arnav cleared his throat. 'Hi,' he said almost in a whisper as his eyes wandered over her. Arnav had never seen Khushi with her hair loose and in her pale yellow outfit, she looked almost ethereal.
'Hi' she whispered back. He looked sodifferent in casual clothes. Relaxed.
She shook her head as if to re-assemble her thoughts. She turned and pointed to the flowers, 'thank you...they're really pretty', she said hesitantly, but then curiosity got the better of her and the old Khushi re-emerged, 'Arnav-ji how did you know that I like sunflowers, did you go to my house?' she babbled. The Gupta house in Laxmi Nagar was surrounded by sunflowers thanks to Khushi's love for them.
Arnav had to chuckle, 'No I didn't go there. I just thought they suited your personality, so I picked them. But I'm am looking forward to coming to your house to see what the connection is. Actually how about you tell me what the connection is while we walk,' he suggested, knowing that she was nervous and this would probably distract her. It worked. Khushi began telling Arnav about her home, her amma, buaji and about Payal jiji as they walked towards the elevator. Khushi was babbling away and didn't notice what floor Arnav had hit. After a minute or so, the elevator pinged open and Arnav gestured for Khushi to exit.
Khushi looked perplexed. This wasn't the ground floor or the foyer. Where was Arnavji taking them, she wondered as she looked up at him. Her questions were evident in her eyes. Arnav took her hand and led her out of the elevator. Khushi stopped as she looked around and gasped as a 270 degree view of the Bangalore skyline greeted her. The vast open terrace space had been converted into a private dining space for them under a marquee illuminated by candles and hurricane lamps. There was no dining table. Instead, a carpet had been laid on the terrace floor and on it lay a thick large padding covered by dozen of large and small pillows and in the middle lay an assortment of dishes and drinks.
Arnav laid his hand on Khushi's back as he led her to the marquee, 'I thought we could spend some time up here without anyone interrupting us and just talk,' he said quietly, 'I'm hoping that you'll feel more comfortable here rather than in a restaurant where people are watching us.'
Khushi was very glad that there were no onlookers but in the same vein, the thought of being completely alone with him was somewhat scary but not terrifying. Khushi acknowledged that she beginning to feel more comfortable around Arnav-ji.
They entered the marquee and Khushi kicked off her shoes and sat down cross legged, she smiled at Arnav. He decided to follow her lead and took his boots off and sat down near Khushi. From the size of Khushi's smile, Arnav decided that the idea of a more informal date was a good one as she was beginning to relax which hopefully would mean that conversation would follow more easily. Even though Arnav already knew about her background from PI report, he wanted Khushi to tell him about herself in her own words.
'So Miss Khushi Kumari, tell me about yourself...'
Khushi cocked her head and looked at Arnav in slight confusion. 'Arnav-ji, you already know about me...you're my boss,' she answered.
Arnav raised his eyebrows at her, 'Khushi I'm not asking as your boss, I'm asking as a man who is out on a date with a woman he is interested in get to know better...'
Easy there champ, don't come on too strong... whispered the angel to Arnav.
Khushi flushed. She wasn't sure how to respond to him.
Arnav smiled at Khushi. 'Relax, Khushi..this is supposed to be a enjoyable experience. Ok, how about I take the lead here, is there anything you want to know about me?' he asked.
'Everything!' she said without hesitation and then promptly bit her lip. Was she allowed to say that, she wondered to herself and then tried to cover herself, 'I mean, I don't know much... well I know you're 33, you went to Harvard and started AR Corp from scratch at 27 and you've made it really successful...what else...you like black coffee, hate people who aren't on time, black seems to be your favourite colour... you have very bad temper...' Khushi instantly clapped her hand across her mouth when she realised what she said last.
Arnav threw his head back and laughed. Khushi stared in amazement; she had never seen Arnav Singh Raizada laugh fully. It was amazing...almost miraculous.
'And who would know my temper better than you Khushi. Actually I'm amazed that you are actually on a date with me despite knowing all my... ahh...qualities', he said as he leaned back propping himself by on one elbow, one leg laid straight ahead whilst the other was raised at the knee.
Khushi looked at Arnav...'No, I didnt mean it like that...' she said as embarrassment overcame her and she began to play with her dupatta.
'Khushi, that was supposed to be a joke...ok let's see, I was also born in Lucknow, I lived there until I was 14. Di, my older sister, and I moved to Mumbai to live with my Nani. Now it's us and my Mama, Mami and Akash.
Khushi was listening intently, 'how come you left Lucknow?' she asked.
Arnav took a deep breath. It was about to begin.
'Khushi, my father committed suicide when his business collapsed and his partner accused him of fraud. I suppose death was preferable to dishonour. Ma couldn't live without him and she followed him,' he said quietly, trying to get rid of the lump that formed in his throat. 'We had no one in Lucknow, there was no way to survive because there was no money. Nani brought us to Delhi. Mama and Mami paid for my schooling and then I got into University of Delhi on a scholarship. Worked night shifts, studied by day. After graduating, I worked for Deloitte for a couple of years, but knew I wanted my own business, so I applied for a scholarship and got into Harvard's
MBA...and you know the rest...'
Khushi did the only thing she could. She took his big hand in hers, interlacing his fingers with hers. Her mind was stuck on the tragedy they both sadly shared. Sometimes words were unbelievably inadequate. She took a deep breath, 'Arnav-ji, I was eight years old when my parents died. We were coming back home after a wedding and there was a crash. I was hurt, but I made it. They didn't. So I understand Arnav-ji, I really do', she said.
He looked down at their joint hands. 'Khushi, how can you still be so happy with life? Don't you ever get angry, don't you feel cheated?' he asked almost in a whisper. She look into his eyes. They were the eyes of a young and deeply wounded man, and not those of the hardened tycoon she knew so well.
'Arnav-ji, I have accepted that they are gone and will never come back no matter how angry or upset I get. So I keep them alive in me and try and live my life based on the principles that my amma and babuji taught me. I know they are watching me, so I try and keep them as happy over there as I would have done if they had been here,' she whispered.
'Well Khushi you are stronger than I am, because I haven't found that place of acceptance yet', Arnav said with his eyes downcast.
It was at the moment that all the anger and harshness that Arnav Singh Raizada emitted finally made sense to Khushi.
'Arnav-ji, there is no right or wrong way to grieve and there's no time frame for it. I guess somewhere along the way I learnt you can try to suppress your grief, but you can't avoid it forever. In order to heal, you have to acknowledge the pain.' Arnav had assumed the stoic mantel of manhood at 14. He became his Di's protector and then his family's provider soon after and in that transition, Arnav had never grieved for his loss. Khushi was right.
He still needed to acknowledge his pain.
Arnav sat up. For the first time in a very very long time, Arnav felt hopeful about the future. He was really glad that Khushi was still holding his hand. It was a connection that he was beginning to hope would never break. There was only one way forward now. It was time to match her integrity, honour and honesty.
'Khushi, you need understand that I'm not like you. I harbour anger, I'm pretty egocentric, I do whatever it takes to succeed, have pretty much no patience. I am your opposite in every way possible...what do you say...Rakshas Raizada... that's me,' he said looking directly into her eyes.
Hi Darlings...
Well that was a bumper update as I merged parts 23 and part 24. I've got a pretty busy week this week, so advance warning, you wont be getting as many updates as you did last week. I will still try to write as often as I can.
Also, a little author's note: lots of people are writing in to say that we need more RR-ji and Khushi masterclasses. To that all I will say is: if things work out for Khushi, then she'll have Arnav giving her (and only her!) masterclasses for the rest of their lives, so take heart in that... 😳😳
As always, I thank you in advance for your comments and feedback which I accept in gratitude 🤗
naina
Edited by warriorprincess - 12 years ago
Veer Hanuman
Anupamaa
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