A Lost Battle -SwaRon OS- Part 2 updated. - Page 8

A melancholy had set in my life. I tried different ways of coming out but found myself drowning right back in. I followed a set of routine daily, hoping it won't get any worse, but to my repugnance, it did.

Months passed and It had already started taking a toll on my newfound job and my already nor existing social life.

If I was indifferent towards Raj before, now it got rather annoying. He was a good friend, but I started finding his company quite unpleasant to be least bit rude. The things that I thought, I knew for sure didn't seem so certain anymore.

The fact that I could never stop thinking of Swayam made me hate myself. Often I'd find myself crying uncontrollably. The pain was excruciating, I broke his heart and the pain was for me to have.

I had shunned all ties with him, no e-mails, no phone calls, the only time i mailed him was to reply to his mail asking if I'd reached safely and if my journey was pleasant.

It's been four months precisely and my guilt was eating me alive. How could he still be so sweet and concerned for me when I practically broke his heart in to million little pieces.

I was big on music and every song I would listen to, got me thinking about us.

I started giving us fairytale ending in my dreams, which I would vaguely remember the next day. The very thought of us being together even in dreams got me smiling. But I was helpless I choose security over love. Nor that I doubted his intentions, it's just that, I would be pushing my luck considering my bad track record.

My condition was not unnoticed by my sister Smitha and jeej.

I knew any day any moment, I would have to answer their questions. But what freaked me was that never happened. They left me on my own. They being nonchalant towards all this angered me.

Enough is enough, I thought and stormed out of my room to talk to them right away.

"Di I need to talk to you right now" and jeej aapse bhee.

"Tell me", said my sister calmly.

My jeej just gave me a soothing look and smiled at me.

"Don't you guys love me, are you the least bit concerned for me", I lashed out.

"Unless you tell us what is worrying you, how do you think we'll be of any help", Replied my sister.

I was taken aback, I didn't know what to say and where to start.

Di wo, remember, I was in India four months before.

"Yeah go ahead", said my jeej while folding in his arms.

I met someone there and I think, wait I know, "I love him" there I said it out loud for them to hear.

I was surprised, at myself. I had never before confessed my feelings for him this loud, may be in my dreams. But this was real.

I waited for their response they exchanged few glances and had no emotions on their face. How was I to decide weather they got angry or were surprised just the way I was.

Tears threatening to roll down any moment, I felt embarrassed and decided to leave at once. My jeej pulled me by my arm and made me sit in between them.

"We are waiting", said my sister still sounding calm as ever.

I continued in and told them everything that had happened between us. By now sobbing in between and my sister comforting me by circling my back.

"So what do you think you should do now", questioned my jeej

I don't know, I am confused and thought you would know.

"Sharon", said my sister while placing her hand over mine.

We can only show you the direction but it's your life and your decision to make.

We are here to guide you and support you in every step, but the answer lies with in you.

"But what about MOM and all our relatives, what will they think", I said looking straight in to my sister.

"Looks like someone has already made a decision", smiled my jeej.

Haan..Oh, I get it now. Why they didn't confront me before and waited for me to come to them. They knew I needed time to completely accept what I felt deep within my heart.

God they know me so well, just like Swayam, his thought made me blush and smile all at once.

"So should I book a ticket to India right away", asked my jeej

"Aryan please, we can't send her all by herself", my sis raised her voice at jeej.

Oh come on now, she is matured enough and I think she can handle this by herself.

I was glad seeing my jeej taking my side.

But my sister was too worried to have sent me alone, and she needed a vacation just as much.

So three tickets were booked.

Three tickets - US to Chennai.

Two tickets - Chennai to Kerala.

Jeej I hope I didn't leave the fact that he is from, "Calcutta", I said in a nervous tone.

Both my sis and jeej started laughing and I joined them soon.

"Chennai",here I come.

My happiness soon turned in to fear.

What if he was over me, what if there was someone else in his life now, all these thoughts tormented me.

"Should I call him, may be email him", saying what Sharon, I snapped at myself.

Ok Mr. Swayam Shikawat you are in for a surprise, or was it going to be me.

Ting Tong

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Chennai Internationl Airport. Local time is 4.30 AM and the temperature is 34 deg celcius.

For your safety and comfort, we ask that you please remain seated with your seat belt fastened until the Captain turns off the Fasten Seat Belt sign.

I claimed my baggage, said bye to my sister and jeej and asked them not to worry.

I called in for a cab and started towards his house.

It was still early but I knew Swayam, was a morning person and would be jogging in the beach upfront his home.

It was a long drive from the airport to Besant Nagar. Due to lack of sleep I found myself drifting off to sleep.

Madam, Madam, I heard a voice.

"We have reached", said the cab driver.

Oh thank you, how much?

1250 Rs , he said.

I was at his gate, the caretaker saw me and came running. I had met him before few times when I visited his place early this year.

Betta, how are you?

Let me help, he said, pointing towards my bag.

No its ok kaka I will manage. So how is your granddaughter doing she should have finished her Engineering by now, if I am right.

"Haan betta, she did and with flying colors, she even got placed in campus", He said with pride evident in his voice.

Kaka Swayam hai ?

Haan betta he just finished his morning jog and left for upstairs.

Ok thanks, I will go meet him then.

I thought, would it be appropriate to barge in to his bedroom, no let me wait right here. I decided.

I waited for 5 long minutes and not able to take it anymore decided to go in. There he was just out of his shower, I thought, his wet hair gave that away.

"Swayam", I said.

He turned at once and looked at me as if I was some alien or ghost. He then ran towards me and engulfed me in to a tight hug.

"How much have I longed for this", I thought.

He withdrew his arms leaving me with a void. I wanted the hug to be never ending.

He mouthed a sorry. We stood there in silence for few seconds, perfect moment, I thought looking straight in to his brown eyes.

Swayam

Sharon

We both spoke at once.

He smiled and said, how are you Sharon?

I have dreamt about this almost everyday in the past few months. It seemed so easy then, just run in to his arms and confess my love for him, confess that I so want to make plans with him, " about us", together for our future.

But this was reality I was, flabbergasted. I was still under the shock that I was actually standing up close to my Swayam.

"Sharon you ok", asked Swayam breaking in my chain of thoughts.

Yeah, I am good.

Actually I am here because you'd said you would make me a perfect blue print to my dream house.

"And you are here just for that", He asked.

"Of course what else could be the reason", I replied at once.

"Sharon, if you remember it right", I said our dream house.

Oh, and here I thought they meant the same to you Swayam.

He stood there perplexed.

I moved towards him and took his hand in to mine and said, Swayam I am here for us.

He still seemed iffy about the whole situation.

Sharon, if this is some kind of joke then please, Stop it right now. I can't take another blow to my heart.

"Does it look like I am joking, for once in my life I am listening to my heart and there's nothing it desired more than you", I said while squeezing in his hand.

He pinned me to the wall behind and kept looking in to my eyes, as in compensating for all the past times.

A smile started playing around his lips and he moved in even closer.

The window next to us started giving in sunlight.

The room was now shining bright. His charming smile seemed even more majestic along the golden lights. My heart started racing in, by now we were pressed up against each other.

Thanks to the air from the A/C his soft hair kept playing on his forehead, his eyes shining away to its own glory, his lips looked hungry for a warm kiss. He slowly leaned in and was holding me by my waist.

His eyes were on my lips and then on to my eyes seeking in permission. I blushed and closed in my eyes and gave in completely.

In no time, I felt his soft warm lips on mine. I responded immediately surprising myself. Just like his touch, the kiss was so warm. I put my arms around his neck, our lips parted.

Our second kiss felt so different, there was a sense of longing, passion and love this time unlike the first time we'd kissed.

I love you, I love you Sharon, He said, looking straight in to my eyes and tightening his grip around my waist.

I love you too Swayam, I whispered in his ears.

That moment right there, I knew how much I needed him all this while. We both sat right on the floor and got talking. We had so much to talk about our future life together.

It was perfect, everything was perfect, two happy souls blissful in each other's company. I had learnt to give life a chance, love a chance, us a chance.

I felt elated and content from within. I had a perfect start to my very own fairytale life.

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Thanks

Sudha