Chapter 40: Fixing the irreparable
The lines of your scars,
Match the ones on my heart,
The pain in your eyes,
Brings only tears in mine.
If I could wash away the sorrows,
And take them to my soul,
Free your heart to love again,
I would sacrifice my world
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PRESENT:
Geet started to turn away, wanting to get away from the place but Maan quickly caught her.
"What happened Geet?' Maan asked while shaking her. He didn't let her move away from him. It frightened him to see her like this but he wasn't going to let her do this to herself.
Geet stopped fighting and just leaned against him. She felt her body tremble with pent up emotion. She didn't truly understand what was happening but it felt that every sorrow she felt had come up to engulf her.
"Please tell me what is happening Geet" He entreated her again, wanting to understand what was happening.
Gulping, she sat down on the footpath and this time it was she who was holding on to Maan. "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to react like that'it is just too much coming back here"
"Don't apologise, just tell me if you are okay" He clasped her hands, trying to warm them with his own.
"Do you know that I've never cried after I held Meliara because I promised myself that I would not let myself drown in sorrow while a little baby needed my love" Her eyes misted with recollection. "But it was only later I realised that I had never grieved properly. I didn't have the luxury to let go of those emotions. Still things cannot stay bottled up and my nightmares became my outlet"
"Nightmares?" He didn't know what to make of this.
"Yes nightmares of this place" She saw the lights of Moe's Cafe flashing. "For a year I had dreams of coming here with Lily and Rahul. But the moment I would arrive, I would take a knife and stab them myself." She shuddered at the images. "I would try to fight myself but almost hypnotically I would plunge the knife in them and then turn it on myself as well."
Maan felt such pain and anger at her words. It was wrong that she had to go through much by herself. Her agony was unbearable for him.
"They died because of me" She finally let out the words that had brewed in her mind for so long. The guilt of being the reason of their deaths forever lingered. "I told them to go to see my parents, they were driving because of me!"
"NO!" Maan held on to her even tighter. "You are the last person to be at fault!"
Geet shook her head. "No, it is all my fault. I blame my parents because it allows me to ignore my own guilt but the truth is irrefutable. How can I be happy when I killed them?"
"You'll be happy because you deserve it more than anyone else" Maan's voice was hard in its truth. "I won't tolerate you being unhappy"
Geet turned her face away, "Maybe I am no longer capable of being happy"
"That is a lie and you know it" He made her turn towards him again. "You are happy when you are with Mel and you were happy when we were at the beach"
"But it is always going to be followed with moments like this" She shuddered again. "I can't bare to let you see me like this. I only bring pain to you"
"No you don't bring pain to me, being away from you brings pain" He held her precious face in his hands. "Every day I spent without you was another day waiting to be with you. You define me"
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PAST:
Finally I'll be with her, his heart lightened with the thought. It didn't matter how long he was away from her for every moment had been in thought of her.
He walked towards Moe's cafe with a smile and a hand in his pocket. He let his fingers brush across the Khurana Engagement ring.
I won't waste another second, His eyes brightened at the idea of making her his. He knew that it could never been anyone else.
I should ask her name first before I pop the question though, he chuckled at the thought, We seem to do everything in a convoluted manner.
So with excitement he walked into the cafe and immediately his eyes started to search for her. He half expected her to saunter towards him with her usual cheeky grin and exuberance.
But she wasn't there.
Maybe she is at the back, he didn't let himself worry. For she had to be here, she had to be waiting for him.
So he walked up to Moe and just asked plainly, "Where is she?" There was no need to name her or to make him understand who Maan was talking about, for it could only be her.
"She is not here" Moe's face looked hard as he stared at Maan. "And she isn't coming back"
Maan's heart spluttered at the words but his face broke into a thunderous scowl. "What do you mean?"
"She left this for you" Moe handed him a letter.
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PRESENT:
"I could never be happy without you" Maan looked deeply into her eyes. "It would be utterly impossible"
Geet saw the sincerity of every word. The look of pain in his face made her forget any worries of her own for she loved him too much to ever undermine his hurt.
"I am sorry" She leaned forward and brushed her lips against his jaw. "I am sorry for walking away. I should have never lost faith in you"
"And I should have never let you walk away" He leaned his head against hers. "You told me that if I had a bit of honour I would stay away. But no amount of honour was worth staying away from you. You told me that if I ever felt any love for you I would stay away but that very love should have been the reason to stay with you"
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PAST:
He sat in the pavement with the curse letter in his hand and the ring in the other one. It felt like his soul was on fire and his heart was broken.
For a second he actually hated her for doing this to him and to them
Why did you leave? Didn't any of this mean anything to you? He wanted to go up to her and shake some sense in to her. Or hurt her the way she hurt him.
But then he recalled her face, the way her eyes would light up and the way she smiled at him. Her love for him had been apparent in every moment they spent that it made this letter negligible.
He could never doubt that love.
But he would keep her word. He would wait for her till his last breath. He knew that one day she would come to him herself.
I'll stay away from you, I won't search for you. But every day I'll wait for a sign from you. And I have enough faith in our love to know that the journey cannot end here.
He looked at the ring in his hand and clenched it. One day I'll put this on your finger and make sure that you can never get away from me.
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PRESENT:
"I sat here and I made the worst decision of my life" he picked up her hand to press a kiss onto her palm. "If I had found you that day we would have been together."
Geet felt like she was being stabbed as she saw Maan's agony. "No! It's not your fault I told you to leave me, you couldn't have done anything else"
Maan shock his head. "No, you are saying this because your heart is filled with too much love and compassion."
"Because you are worthy of such love" She pressed her palm against his face. "The very fact that I am sitting here next to you is a proof of how much you love me. I was an imbecile to ever doubt that love"
"Not even when my mother died did I feel such loneliness as I did the day you walked away" Maan's voice was rough with emotion. He felt his eyes burn with the tears that he was holding back. "I started to hate the world for taking you away from me"
Geet Handa had held back tears through traumas that had rocked her soul, she had felt such loneliness and pain that she had gotten numbed. She had stopped crying for her lost child, for her brother and best friend.
But as she saw Maan's eyes glisten and the single drop fall from his lashes, she cried. For the first time in 4 years she let her grief out as she saw his pain.
The alien sensation of the drops pouring down her cheeks didn't distract her from watching him. Instead she pressed her lips on his.
"It'll be okay, everything is alright" She murmured against his lips. She didn't even bother to see the irony in the fact that it was she comforting him now. "I'll never let you hurt this much"
It was a kiss that lingered without any need to press more. The soft melding of two breaths was more intimate than any other form of love making. The taste of each other seeped in every so slowly, mystifying and comforting each other.
Maan felt her tears against his cheeks and it hurt him immensely but he knew that this was necessary. She needed to cry and shriek out her pain. They both needed to bury their demons.
Slowly pulling slightly away, so that their lips still brushed softly and he gently wiped her tears, "As long as you are with me I'll be happy. So stay with me."
Geet couldn't have answered any other way, "Okay but promise me you'll be happy."
"Only if you promise to let out that grief" He kissed her eyes. "If you fall, I'll be there to catch you and I know you'll be there to hold on to me"
"I promise" She knew that the walls she had built had finally crumbled, she could no longer protect herself from feeling emotion. His love had made her impenetrable walls fall with a simple tear. "I'll never hold out against you"
He asked her while brushing her hair away from her face. "Do you love me?"
She nodded, letting her eyes convey the depth of emotion she felt for him. Words like "love" could barely scrape what he meant to her. Love was an emotion, their feelings far exceeded such a fleeting thing.
"Then come with me" He pulled her hand and put his arms around her to walk into the cafe. "We still have the night to enjoy"
Slowly she entered, trying to calm herself down as she stared around the cafe. She clutched onto his hands as an anchor.
The place hadn't changed a bit over the years; the tables, crockery and decorations were the same. It was as if the place had stood against time.
"Is that you?" A familiar voice cut across, grabbing Geet's attention.
Within seconds Geet ran across the room into Moe's arms. She had missed this place but more importantly she had missed him.
"It's been to long darling" Moe said gruffly, trying to keep stoic against the feelings of happiness. "You didn't even keep in touch"
"I am sorry" She smiled at him. "But at least I am back here now"
Moe cracked a grin, "Well why don't you start by wiping the tables."
Geet burst out laughing, "Anything for you but I should warn you that we surgeons use tables for cutting people. So you might want to be careful"
"A surgeon?" Moe's eyes widened with pride, "Well looks like my little waitress has grown up. Well order anything you want but it isn't on the house. After all I wouldn't want to give charity to a rich doctor"
"Still the same old miser I see" Geet stuck out her tongue at him. They continued on with their banter while Maan watched with an indulgent smile.
Belle can never be gone because she is you Geet, he knew that was the truth. No matter how broken you are I know you are strong enough to fight on.
Later on they went to sit on their regular table. Geet had a soft smile on her face as she again looked around the place. She felt as if a great burden had been lifted off her, making her remember the good memories.
"See, some memories can overwhelm others" Maan reached for her hand "And sometimes the smallest of happiness overshadows any pain"
Geet nodded, unable to lie at the truth. "Well I am famished, time for some chocolate cake" She wiped her spoon before taking a mouthful of the cake in front of them. "hmmm'.delicious"
"Still obsessed with chocolate?" Maan asked with an indulgent grin.
"Always" She smirked at him before picking up her spoon and holding some cake for him. "Your turn"
Maan grinned as he ate it, knowing that she had eaten from the same spoon. "Perfect. There is something special about the cakes here. I really need to find out"
"Yeah, who knows what the special ingredient is" Geet winked at him, letting herself enjoy the moment. "Let me eat in peace!"
"Hmmm'what would Belle say at his moment?" Maan asked, while looking at her.
"Well'.if my memory serves right I did ask you how many times you think of having the big s-e-x" Geet spoke before she actually thought about what she was saying.
As in the past Maan choked as he heard her comment but this time his face broke into a grin after he calmed down. "Well'it depends. If I am around you, it is every microsecond."
Geet went beet red. "You really didn't have to answer the question, it was slip of tongue"
"I really did have to answer such a delightful question" He continued to tease her. "and I definitely don't mind your tongue slipping into certain places"
"Ewww, that was gross" Geet made a face at his comment. "Dude that was a horrible pick up line!"
"Maan Singh Khurana doesn't need good pickup lines to get women" Maan said with his usual arrogant smirk, causing Geet to burst out laughing.
"You keep telling yourself that Mr Casanova" Geet smirked at him.
They continued on with their banter, unknowingly falling back into the lost camaraderie. Both of them had not only been lover but also best friends. Friendship was the start of their relationship and would be what soothed them.
Later on they were walking down the street towards Maan's car, both relaxed and happy. Such moments had been so rare over the last few years that they appreciated it more than they had previously.
"Thank you for the wonderful night" Geet tried to express her gratitude to Maan.
"Do you really mean it?" Maan quirked an eyebrow.
"Of course" Geet was confused by Maan's question.
"Well then you have to do me a favour to show your appreciation" Maan smiled at her, knowing that she wouldn't refuse.
Geet was even more confused now. "Okay, what do you want me to do?"
"Talk to your parents and try to fix this misunderstanding" Maan said bluntly. He knew that Geet would never be able to move on with her life if she didn't let of her grudges against her parents. It would forever hold her back and make her feel guilty even if she denied it.
"No!" Geet protested. "I agreed to let them see Mel but nothing more than that"
"Geet, let me explain something to you" Maan made sure that she was listening to every word. "I grew up watching a father who couldn't care less about me and my family. He abused my mother'and others in every way imaginable. If he died today I would have no regrets. My mother on the other was the opposite but she died while I was still growing up. I would do anything to turn back the clock to spend more time with her."
Geet couldn't remain angry while he was talking about his pain, so she just watched him as he continued.
"Yes, I agree that your parent's made a mistake. But even that mistake was because they loved and cared about you too much. Even as an outside I can see that they love you. Don't let that love go to waste because I assure you that one day you'll regret it if you do." He again held her face in his hands, trying to make sure that his words made sense to her.
"I just'..I don't know whether I can do it"
"Do it for me and for Mel" He used the one thing that she couldn't fight against. "It will make both of us happy."
How can I refuse him? "Fine" She sighed. "You are a tricky guy!"
"Thank you" He smiled at her. Pulling her closer he let their lips meet. It was a kiss that didn't just bring back memories of the past but made promises for the future. It was sweet, it was passionate but most importantly it was filled with love. There was no urgency because this kiss would last forever in their mind.
It was the perfect end to the date.
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AUTHOR's NOTE:
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PS: I forgot to reply to Mariam's lovely comment as it was after I posted the teaser...the reply is on pg 129😃
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Edited by maan-ki-sanjana - 13 years ago
CID
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Cricket
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
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