It should have been you(ArSH/AR/DMG3 FF) Updtpg148 - Page 85

S: I love you too...

The intensity with which he was pulling her in and just holding on to her was new even to him. It was as if he had finally found the shore after having been lost at sea for so long, and just wasn't going to loosen his grip. With one hand on her waist, pulling her in and the other in her hand, holding her closer, he felt right at place. This is where he needed to be, for so long now. Even though he had known what she felt for him, finally hearing her actually say it meant the world to him. Her words acted like fuel to already burning fire. And on top that when she too embraced him, he could feel her every breath, every heart beat, and every last emotion. If he could have his way he would never let go. He didn't what else he could say to her so he just hoped that his arms around her would let her know that whatever it was that upset her the way it had, he was here and there was no way he would let her go through it again.

For Shilpa this emotion and this sense of being held by someone was so new and so strange that even though every single molecule inside of her was electrified by his being there, she still had no clue what was going on. All she knew was that this man, with his arms around her, at this very moment was all her life needed. He loved her, he actually loved her. Every time that he tightened his grip, he sorrows grew smaller. With every passing moment in his arms, her loneliness seemed to be moving further away. She had never known this kind of connection with someone else, this level of oneness with another human being, this kind of happiness, this sensation of being held close to the heart. Not being able to control her emotions, the tears grew stronger and the crying louder. Please don't let go Armaan, please don't let go.

Armaan noticed. She wasn't just crying anymore, she was weeping. He could feel the pain with every single cry. Not anymore Shilpa, not anymore, he said to himself. He loosened his grip a little and moved out of the embrace slightly, leaving her standing there with her head facing the ground and her tears knowing no bounds. He couldn't bear it anymore. Whatever tears he had in his eyes, were gone and all that was left was a rock hard resolve to make sure that her tears too would soon disappear. He looked at her for a few more seconds and then without thinking or planning, he took both his hands and cuddled her face in them. He lifted up her chin so that now she was facing him, eye to eye, heart to heart. The sorrow in her eyes was immense, but somewhere he knew that he would be the sparkle that would make all that go away.

A: I love you...

[Her crying grew stronger and her heart grew heavier. Armaan, if only you knew the gravity of your words. If only you knew that your words are perhaps the sole good thing in her life. If only you knew that your words are evoking the most intense emotion that someone had ever known. Lifting her chin once again, and getting her to look at him in the eyes, he continued.]

A: eh...ab bas...aur nahin...ab main aur tum kabhi nahin aansoon bahayen ge...[While still holding on to her, he used his thumbs to wipe the tears of her face and not once did he break the lock with her gaze.]

S: kyon?

This was one of the most genuine and most heartfelt questions she had asked him. Why? Why did he love her? Why now? Even Armaan could sense the tenderness and the innocence in her question. But how was he suppose to answer that? How was he suppose to explain that could only be felt? But before he could even begin to talk, she did what she had never done. She was beginning to open up to him. While he hand his hands firmly holding her face she too lifted her and held on to his wrists, just wanting to feel his strength and his resolve.

S: mujhe laga tha ki tum mujhse pyaar nahin karte...toh ab...

How would she say this? How would she tell him that even though she wished and prayed that he too loved her some part of her always was fearful of the fact that he would never love her, he could never love her. Despite all the times that he knew full well what she was feeling, he didn't react. She had grown so use to his ignoring or putting aside her feelings that this was just too much too handle. Just a few nights when she had pretty much said that I love you, he had ignored the question and just asked why she didn't hate him. Then why now? What was it that made him love her? She just had to know but had no idea how to ask. But lucky for her, it seemed like just as she could read Armaan, now he too could read her.

A: ab kyon? ... yeh hi jaan na chahati ho na?

How did he know? She was half shocked that he knew and half upset that he hadn't answered already. So all she gave him was a nod. A nod to signify that yes that was her question, and a nod that at the same time showed him that she expected an answer. So moved by the intensity of her emotions and his at this time, plus the innocence in her questions, Armaan's heart sank. But even when he was so emotionally charged he knew exactly what he had to say. No romance, no fluff, just that hard truth.

A: isme bhi tumhari galati hai...

[Now he didn't to hold her chin up, though he still was, because she was now intently looking at him with confused eyes. Her fault?]

A: tumhe pata hai na, ki tumhara bina mein kuch nahin kar sakta...

[No matter how much she had denied it, she knew that this was true. She had known that without her he couldn't do anything. So she gave him a nod, but still wasn't quite sure what that had to do with the question she had asked.]

A: tum yeh bata sakti ho...ki Armaan khush kaise rahena...lekin yeh nahin kehe sakti thi ki Armaan tumhari har khushi ke peeche main hoon...

Shilpa's heart sank and her gaze was now firmly locked onto his. Her heart beat increased and her grip on his hand tightened. Never in a million years would she have imagined Armaan saying this to her. But fortunately or maybe unfortunately for her, he wasn't done. Armaan knew that whatever he was saying was coming straight from the heart and there was just no way that he would stop now. She needed to hear all the things that he had to say.

A: yeh sikha sakti ho ki Armaan zindagi aise jeete hain...lekin yeh nahin kehe sakti thi, ki Armaan tumhari zindagi toh main hi hoon...

[Now he too had tears in his eyes again. And she was just a second away from a reaching complete and total bliss.]

A: yeh dikha sakti ho ki ek toote dil ko kaise dheek kiya jaata hai...lekin yeh nahin kehe sakti thi ki jis dil ko tum jod rahe ho Armaan woh mera hai...

[That was it she couldn't take it anymore. As soon as he finished his last sentence she put her hand on his lips.]

S: bas...

Just stop talking Armaan, she thought. Before I lose all control of myself, or before my heart explodes from sheer sensation. For as long as she could remember she had always been suspicious and cynical of this kind of attention, she had never believed that someone could ever feel so strongly towards her, but for some reason with Armaan, none of that seemed to apply. With every word he spoke, her wall of resistance shattered even more.

Armaan could sense that finally what he needed to say and what he needed to convey was all getting through to her. Because she had never looked at him like that, eyes wide open and a smile on her lips. It was a beautiful, beautiful sight. He finally removed his hands from her face and slowly took a hold of her hand which was now covering his lips. He took her hand in his, and looked deep into her eyes. He pulled up her hand and without moving his gaze from hers, he kissed it. She instantly let out a sigh and he knew that she understood. She believed him, and he believed her. She loved him, and he loved her.

Now that all that emotional burden had been lifted and put aside, Armaan and Shilpa were left there standing hand in hand not knowing what to do next. For Shilpa this was all so new and so alien that she had no idea how to react. After having been in love with Armaan for so long now, she couldn't quite understand what to do once he was here, standing here holding her hand. For Armaan, there had been so much heartache and so much trauma for the last little while that this new light and fluffy feeling was almost unrecognizable. But even then all he knew he had to do was keeping holding onto her hands. Awkward, yes. Strange, yes. Absolutely out of this world, most definitely.

Each was so enamored by the presence of the other that neither knew how to proceed. Armaan thought about probably saying good night and heading home, given that it was pretty late in the night already. But he just couldn't get himself to do that. He then thought that maybe he should let go of her hand and see what happens next, even that was too hard for him to do. There was also the possibility of saying something, anything that would carry this moment forward without ruining its intensity, but nothing seemed to be good enough. Then something happened, something that made him believe that no matter how much things changed between them, Shilpa would always remain that same old Dhanno of his.

S: main itni asaani se nahin bhaagon gi...tum haath chod sakte ho..

Instantly Armaan let go and chuckled. She just had this magical power to bring a smile to his face and just somehow make any situation easier. He looked at her and chuckled. She looked at him and did the same. Finally, there was this coolness in the breeze, the same coolness that Armaan had been waiting for. For Shilpa there was this strange joy in the breeze, a joy that she had been pining for. Maybe there really was nothing more left to say or do. The looks they were giving to one another and the giggles that they were sharing were all that was needed. But what Shilpa to be utterly adorable, like beyond limits was the fact that it was Armaan who was slightly blushing. At that thought she smiled even more and looking at her smile, Armaan felt this warm giggly feeling on the inside which meant that he blushed even more.

This went on for another minute or so before Shilpa realized that if this moment was to remain as sweet and as perfect as it seemed right now then it needed to end right away. Before something went wrong. There was such beauty and so much love in the air that she wanted to take any risks of awkward silences, plus once he left, she could properly let herslef go crazy in shock of what had just happened. So she did what she knew was best. She smiled, took one step back and spoke.

S: goodnight...

[Goodnight? Already? Even though he had nothing more to say, he still felt like something was missing. Despite the fact that the redness of her eyes showed him that she had had enough for one night, he still felt as if they were asking him for something more.]

A: bas? ho gaya?

[Shilpa couldn't help but chuckle. She was sure that was a thought he probably didn't want to verbalize, because going from his facial expression he was clearly embarrassed.]

A: mera matlab tha ki...I mean...

Oh there was no point he had been caught. He giggled a little, and without saying a word he too took a step away from her, looked down at the ground and put his hand in his pockets, again looked at her looking at him and smile and another step back. He was just hoping that she would say something that would make him stay longer. That didn't seem to be happening anytime soon, because she too had another step back. He decided that maybe this was the right time to leave, the sweetness and the beauty that was in the air right now seemed to be the perfect note on which to end this amazing night. Maybe this strange pull that they felt towards one another and this all consuming eye lock was the most suitable way in which to depart for the night. With each step he took back, Shilpa's excitement grew. Excitement for that thrill she would feel when she would see him again. Excitement over the fact that he was as desperate as she was to keep this going for as long as humanly possible. Excitement because she could still sense what he was feeling. And finally excitement because she felt like a normal girl who was head over heels in love with an amazing boy. Nothing more, nothing less.

When Armaan finally reached his car, he looked at her again and watched her smile at him and bite her lip a little, before she slowly shut the door. Armaan fell back a little and was now leaning on his car, just looking at her door and smiling to himself. How perfect all this was. How beautiful was the feeling. Why on earth had he not done this before. As he stood there he could still feel her arms around him, his hands were still recovering from the sensation of holding her hands. He remembered her huge, round teary eyes that were full of so much love and yet so much pain. He felt like he could look at them forever and ever. Her words were playing on repeat in his head. "Mujhe laga tha ki tum mujhse pyaar nahin karte", how could she think that. How could she not have known. How could he not have known. Despite all of this Armaan still had that smile plastered on his face because he knew that all that agony that they both went through was so worth the joy that he could feel now. Suddenly Armaan was struck by something, something that he had been meaning to do right after he released her from his embrace but seemed to have forgotten. That's what was missing! Armaan chuckled to himself and once again began to walk towards her door.

As soon as she shut that door Shilpa slowly and quietly walked to her sofa and sat down. Looking blankly to the wall she let herself take it all in. Take in what Armaan had said. All of it. The fact that he loved her, the fact that she was his happiness, the fact that his heart belonged to her! AHHH... The excitement was just too much, her breathing grew heavier and smile wider. Oh goodness! How? How could she feel this elated? Was it humanly possible? Would her heart explode from blood rush that she could feel? All she wanted to do was scream, but sound just did not materialize. She wanted to dance, but Armaan's dimples and his eyes had left her weak kneed. She wanted to throw up her arms in the air and celebrate, but hugging Armaan was all that these arms could take. So she sat there, absolutely still from sheer joy and utter happiness. Maybe she had been wrong, maybe Armaan was the only one who could fill the void. Maybe after Armaan there would be no void to fill? His words were spinning in her head, "ab jab baarish ho gi toh bhagwan bhi tumhare saath jhumen ge...kyonki woh jaan gaye ki joh ab tak tumhare Armaan pure nahin hue woh yeh Armaan pure karega."

This was the last straw, before she actually went crazy. As soon as she remembered his amazing and out of this world words, she couldn't help but spring up from the sofa, throw her arms out and naturally and instinctively spin around, right there in her living room. This joy was definitely her most precious possession. She would continued the spinning and the smiling, had she not been interrupted by the knock on her door. She stopped and took a moment to collect her breath. Who on earth could this be? Wait, could it be? Was he back to say something else? No no, what else was left? And again with a increased heart rate and a persistent smile on her face she walked up to the door, took a deep breath, and opened it. Oh lord, she was right.

Armaan looked at Shilpa and there were no more tears, and why would there be, after all no one cries after having spun like that. He could see it all through the window and his heart was just glowing with joy and his dimples were simply refusing to disappear. She really was his Ms. Bollywood, seedha kisi film se aayi hai. While she continued to stare at him, he smiled at the sight of her spinning in joy. No matter what she did, or how she did, she always looked stunning. But for now that wasn't the point, he had come here for a reason, and when he looked more closely at her, he was happy to see that his reason was still there. When he had hugged so intensely it seemed that a few strands of her hair and got caught in her earring. He had been meaning to fix this earlier but was distracted too many other things. Now, was the perfect moment.

Without saying a word, he extended his hand towards her left ear and slowly pulled the hair strands from her earring. She was left just staring blankly at him. He took full advantage of this. He leaned in a little, as she stood still, leaned in some more and tilted his head. His lips were now literally a few millimeters away from her ear, and even fewer millimeters away from her cheek. Armaan could feel that her breathing was getting heavier and he heart beat stronger. Without waiting a second longer, he whispered in her ears, "ghoom na band karo...chakar aa jaayen ge". First it was the fact that he was close to her that was just so scintillating and then when he whispered and she felt his breath on her skin, she had goosebumps. But when she finally heard what he had said, her eyes went wide and circular and the color of her cheeks shot to a neon red. But at this moment she really couldn't care what he had or had not seen, because all she was concerned with was the fact that Armaan was literally millimeters away. And as soon as he finished saying what he had he leaned in the few millimeters that had been seperating his lips from her cheeks and kissed her to show that he wasn't going to let his Ms. Bollywood miss her bollywood. Joy, oh joy. Even in her thoughts she couldn't explain or understand what she felt at this moment. A million things erupted in her mind but they were all overshadowed by that one all encompassing feeling in her heart, pure love.

When Armaan pulled away from her, after having almost driven her mad, he looked to her and realized that she too was as mesmerized by the moment as he was. The softness of her skin against his lips was just amazing! The way she shivered when he whispered in her ears, showed him the passion that she had towards him. There was a part of him that wanted to let her stand here and just enjoy this moment because lord knows she deserved it. But then there was another part, a more naughty part. A part of him that was finally making its way to forefront.

A: main itni asaani se nahin bhaagon ga...aise ghoor na bandh karo...

[She was startled and snapped out of her state of ecstasy and focussed in on him. He had a strange grin on his face, it wasn't a grin that she had seen so often. As intriguing as it was, she was also a bit curious as to what was going on inside of him.]

A: toh main chaloon?

[She just looked at him, after what had just happened did he actually expect her to be able to speak?]

A: acha dheek hai...goodnight

Again she didn't know what to say or do. Just looking at him look at her the way he was, and looking at his dimples rendered her absolutely speechless. After saying goodnight he winked at her and just the way he had done before began to walk towards his car, while still having his eyes glued on her. If all this had driven her this crazy, what would happen to her when he sees her again the next morning? A whole day in Sanjeevani with Armaan, would she be able to handle it? For Armaan, the feeling was exactly opposite. Seeing how much such small gestures effected her, he was so excited to give her all that she deserved. Be the reason she smiles everyday. He was excited to be the aashiq that she had grown to love, be the bollywood hero that she secretly admired. Be all those things that she really wanted him to be. This time he didn't lean on his car, he crashed into it. He hadn't realized when he walked back this far. She smiled at his reaction. Oh her smile, already he was intoxicated. Now, he was certain the night was complete. There were no more lingering feelings or incomplete thoughts.

He smiled at her once again and opened the door of his car. It was really time to call it a night. He got in the car and she was still standing there. He turned on the car, and she was still standing there. He finally broke his gaze and started to look straight ahead instead of at her, and she was still standing there. He was so in love with her at this moment that it was almost unbearable. And the fact that he could still here was making this all so much harder. It seemed as if she too could understand the difficulty he was having, because within a moment his phone and he looked to her and his caller ID and smiled. Was she really calling him at this distance. He picked up and prepared himself to be mesmerized some more.

A: hello...

[She just had to call him, just say these last words and for her too the night would be complete.]

S: thanks...

A: kis liye?

[The significance of these words or this same situation in Armaan and Shilpa's journey was known only to Armaan and Shilpa.]

S: mujhe pagalon ki taran ghoomne pe majboor karne liye...

With that she cut the phone and walked inside, disappearing from his sight. Oh lord, could this girl get any better? He was so in love right now. He put his phone down, smiled like an idiot, leaned back so his head was resting on the seat, and ran his hands through his hair. "Oyyye Hoyyee".