Today, I sit here, in the graveyard; my five-year-old daughter sitting right beside me. I place my fingers on the sand hoping to feel you. And I do. I do feel you. I can feel your presence. The scent of your cologne still lingers on my neck where once you had'
As I remember you, a single drop of tear drops from my eye straight onto the hard ground above you. The same ground which separates you from me. The same ground which separates you from your daughter. The same ground which separates you from the rest of the world. You're down there and I'm up here; a place where we can never be together; a place which parted us in the most cruel way.
My daughter nudges me. I look over at her and see you in her. Your eyes, your nose, your lips'every single part of her is you. I wish you were here to see her at least once. You would've been proud of her. You would've loved her more than I do. You would've pinched her rosy cheeks and said, "That's daddy's girl! Now give me a big hug and kiss!" You would've pulled her into a great big 'Daddy-bear' hug which you had always dreamt of before she was born.
"Mama," she says with her big eyes looking up at me. "How was Papa? Was he nice? Did he love me a lot?"
"Papa loved you since before you came into this world," I tell her placing my palm gently on her soft cheeks.
"The why did he leave me, Mama?" She asks.
"It was his time, dear. It was his time." I answer and look back down on your grave where you lie underneath.
My eyes well up in tears as I remember you. Your voice, which still rings in my ears like soft and beautiful music, tells me to not cry. But how can I not cry? How can I stop remembering you? How can I forget that you were ever in my life and that you were the one who had always been with me? How can I forget, that whenever I look at our daughter, I remember your words? How can I put on a smile on my lips when I don't see the bright red mark of the vermillion on my forehead which had made me yours forever or wear any jewellery like the mangalsutar you had locked around my neck making me yours for life?! Those words of yours telling me to be happy still pierce my heart even after five long years of your death.
I look at the beautifully scented roses in my arms which I had brought today. You always forgot your birthday but there was not one year that passed by since our childhood when I didn't wish you.
The wind blows around my hair as I place the roses gently over the sand. I bend down and kiss the sand where your head was once placed.
"Oh! Nice! You're learning now aren't you, my dear lovely wife, how to be romantic like myself!" I remember you saying these sentences on your last birthday before you died.
"Oh, come on! I can be nice sometimes!" I remember replying back to you hitting your shoulder playfully.
"Oh really'" You say as you pull me in for a kiss but your efforts go in vain because of my huge stomach sticking out. "This baby better come out soon, okay? Does the kid even realize what a problem it is for me to romance with my one and only true love ' my WIFE, for god's sake?"
"I'm sure it does." I say.
"Positive?"
"Positive."
Itti Si Khushi Sab TV
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
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