ManeetFF Dancing Frm The Ashes link on pg146 - Page 51

Originally posted by: jyoti_l

awesome...

beautifully written...

liked the way they talked...

continue soon...

thnx for PM...

👏

The story has started with present and then gone to flash back. Story has a nice beginning. Maan & Vicky has taken up challenge to run the other's business successfully. (well………. this has not mentioned in this part but since I read the ff breafly earlier I know) Maan saw Geet dancing at late night.

CHAPTER:1

Introduction of Sid & Mayank is nice.

''Maataji, aaj aapke darshan honge?''

I like this dialogue yaar. Really…⭐️ it was funny🤣

''Ulle de patthe, tere peeche khadi hoon''.

I enjoyed reading this…..🤣🤣

Siddhant Arora, Mayank Shroff & Geet what shall I say abut them...I adore their friendship yaar. U described their friendship beautifully👏👏👏…. Khash…..I to have a friend like that. One friend is enough yaar no need of more.

Tell me one thing do u have any friends like that?❓❓ How did u get inspired to write?

& I want to tell u one secrete also….pls don't get mad at me for this. I actually like Mayank & Muskan pair than Geet & Maan

The ragging in college & Nikil saving the fresher his introduction. Its good to read againest ragging (may be not much but its enough to understand)

Good written⭐️. ⭐️👏

CHAPTER:2

WHO IS MAAN?

Maan has a girl friend and just back to India after 2 years. Vicky is not interested in business and Maan is going to join family business. I loved their bond Maan is supporting Vicky in business matter and Vicky letting Maan to take the center of the attraction though he is better dancer than Maan (pls correct me if I m wrong)

Its all about Maan & his family. Nice introduction ⭐️

Adorable.

CHAPTER: 3

Its quiet long chapter compare with the first 2

The principal wants A+++ grade for the college and for that, he should make the talent show successful. Its very sad the talented students are wasting their talents. Not only in the story but also in real life.

Poor Nikil wants scholarship...

U wrote well about the condition that the princi put to grant his(Nik's) scholarship, the popularity of the three musketeers and last but not least about Raina…. The conversation between Raina and Nikhil👏. Nikil little Attracted toward Geet. The way he got an idea for the program while talking to Raina. But I feel lil unreal of the popularity of these three musketeers. Pls no offence dear I m just putting here what I felt truly.

Overall I enjoyed reading this chapter. Good work.👍🏼👏⭐️

CHAPTER: 4

''Lag gayi yaar. Hume bhi participate karne ko kahan hain. Main ko dance nahi karne wala. Mayank tera achcha hain yaar. Sirf MC toh banna hain tujhe."

''Oi, saale bukwas mat kar.'' Looking red in the face

Geet pealed into laughter and explained, ''yaar MC ka matlab Master of Ceremony - bas hi toh ban-na hain.''

Those dialogs my favorite from this chapter. Nice chapter. Story is Progressing. Though initially the musketeers refused to help, Nikil tackled them well. All are practicing well. All students co-operating to Nikil happily. Raina did 8 cartwheel where Sid could only do 5. U showed overconfident sid well & also Raina's performance. So finally Dr. Mehra is happy with the way things are progressing. Reanz… nice nick name yaar. Nik got scholershop.

Nik's disappointment over Geet & friends on hangover at night. He bound to be because he was told by Geet that they were going to some place and practice has stopped because of that (pls correct me if I m wrong). The conversation between Geet & Nikil has turned out very ugly. Nikil used bad words to Geet (of course it was geet's fault)

U ended this chapter on bad terms between G&N and the next chapter was on Maan

U put this fight on suspense

poor readers I pity them…how they managed to wait until next chapter on G&N I read fist what happened with the both (G&N) then I came back to chapter 5 (lucky me na….😉😉 )

This chapter about Maan & his love life.

U seemed to watch English movies more yaar (ok..I m just kidding I know everybody watch them)

Ok jokes apart ..now coming to the point…..u made me hate that Anita character. Such a cheap girl…u did good job here. Poor Maan….

U described well about Maan's troubled love life.. he is unlucky in love. He is depressed.

overall the 5 chapters are good.

Originally posted by: harshdb

👏

AMRUTA,

U DID

job with your ff. I loved it so far. As I promised in my earlier comment'''..

Here u go... detailed comments on this ff "Dancing Frm the Ashes"

Here I m commenting on 5 chapters. the rest I will do step by step.

The story has started with present and then gone to flash back. Story has a nice beginning. Maan & Vicky has taken up challenge to run the other's business successfully. (well'''. this has not mentioned in this part but since I read the ff breafly earlier I know) Maan saw Geet dancing at late night.

Emotional, sad & angry Geet. U described well. Good update. 👍🏼

CHAPTER:1

Introduction of Sid & Mayank is nice.

''Maataji, aaj aapke darshan honge?''

I like this dialogue yaar. Really'⭐️ it was funny🤣

''Ulle de patthe, tere peeche khadi hoon''.

I enjoyed reading this'..🤣🤣

Siddhant Arora, Mayank Shroff & Geet what shall I say abut them...I adore their friendship yaar. U described their friendship beautifully👏👏👏'. Khash'..I to have a friend like that. One friend is enough yaar no need of more.

Tell me one thing do u have any friends like that?❓❓ How did u get inspired to write?

& I want to tell u one secrete also'.pls don't get mad at me for this. I actually like Mayank & Muskan pair than Geet & Maan

Me too - me too - but I think i like them equally n differently!!

The ragging in college & Nikil saving the fresher his introduction. Its good to read againest ragging (may be not much but its enough to understand)

Good written⭐️. ⭐️👏

CHAPTER:2

WHO IS MAAN?

Maan has a girl friend and just back to India after 2 years. Vicky is not interested in business and Maan is going to join family business. I loved their bond Maan is supporting Vicky in business matter and Vicky letting Maan to take the center of the attraction though he is better dancer than Maan (pls correct me if I m wrong)

Its all about Maan & his family. Nice introduction ⭐️

Adorable.

CHAPTER: 3

Its quiet long chapter compare with the first 2

The principal wants A+++ grade for the college and for that, he should make the talent show successful. Its very sad the talented students are wasting their talents. Not only in the story but also in real life.

Poor Nikil wants scholarship...

U wrote well about the condition that the princi put to grant his(Nik's) scholarship, the popularity of the three musketeers and last but not least about Raina'. The conversation between Raina and Nikhil👏. Nikil little Attracted toward Geet. The way he got an idea for the program while talking to Raina. But I feel lil unreal of the popularity of these three musketeers. Pls no offence dear I m just putting here what I felt truly.

No problemo - i understand ur opinion ya.

Overall I enjoyed reading this chapter. Good work.👍🏼👏⭐️

CHAPTER: 4

''Lag gayi yaar. Hume bhi participate karne ko kahan hain. Main ko dance nahi karne wala. Mayank tera achcha hain yaar. Sirf MC toh banna hain tujhe."

''Oi, saale bukwas mat kar.'' Looking red in the face

Geet pealed into laughter and explained, ''yaar MC ka matlab Master of Ceremony - bas hi toh ban-na hain.''

Those dialogs my favorite from this chapter. Nice chapter. Story is Progressing. Though initially the musketeers refused to help, Nikil tackled them well. All are practicing well. All students co-operating to Nikil happily. Raina did 8 cartwheel where Sid could only do 5. U showed overconfident sid well & also Raina's performance. So finally Dr. Mehra is happy with the way things are progressing. Reanz' nice nick name yaar. Nik got scholershop.

Nik's disappointment over Geet & friends on hangover at night. He bound to be because he was told by Geet that they were going to some place and practice has stopped because of that (pls correct me if I m wrong). The conversation between Geet & Nikil has turned out very ugly. Nikil used bad words to Geet (of course it was geet's fault)

U ended this chapter on bad terms between G&N and the next chapter was on Maan

U put this fight on suspense

poor readers I pity them'how they managed to wait until next chapter on G&N I read fist what happened with the both (G&N) then I came back to chapter 5 (lucky me na'.😉😉 )

over all u did

CHAPTER: 5

This chapter about Maan & his love life.

U seemed to watch English movies more yaar (ok..I m just kidding I know everybody watch them)

Ok jokes apart ..now coming to the point'..u made me hate that Anita character. Such a cheap girl'u did good job here. Poor Maan'.

U described well about Maan's troubled love life.. he is unlucky in love. He is depressed.

overall the 5 chapters are good.

& your ff title was

Originally posted by: Water.

I owe u a comment.

Coming up today.

Just like I said, I m back with my comments on your ff for 5 more chapters (6-10)

CHAPTER:6

Its about Geet

Well described about Geet restlessness on the comments of Nikhil, training to share but no one is available, the guilty Geet.

Geet self talk is nice.

Wow I loved the way Nikhil covered for her saying that she is not well. Nikhil silent treatment and Geet restlessness……nicely written. 👏👏

''Look I came back to practise. Are we going to do that or not?''

Nik smiled inwardly and finally looked at her with a straight face."

I like these dialogs. ⭐️👏

''Fine'', she said and under her breath muttered ,''psycho freak''.

Good going……….

The dance practice Geet testing if he is giving silent treatment or not

"Geet: Damn, not again ...phir se silent treatment de raha hain. Is it that? Ek minute dekhti hoon...She turned towards Nik again and called out.

''Do you want me to go get Sid and Raenz?''

He didn't turn. He just stood there and after a micro second continued his work.

Geet: 'Yup, Silent treatment !!''."🤣(wow she confirmed it very cutely)

Sid & Raina part was good

Sid making fun of Raina, the effect of sid's words on her, her self talk, Geet encouraging sid to talk with Raina

"Dekh, main tujhe insult nahi karna chah raha tha...-

''Nahi tu bas mera mazaak uda raha tha naa...'' She

''No offense Raenz, but you're the scariest girl in college.''

''What?,'' he repeated. ''Geet always gave me a hug when I cried''

Wow that was awesome speech from Nik

Overall this chapter was very long and entertaining thanks for this my favorite chapter so far.

CHAPTER: 7

The video scene was good in this chapter Geet got to know about the popularity they have in college. She started thing could he be right?

Chapter is nice. 👏⭐️

CHAPTER:8

Its about Maan & his family

Maan & his dad business talk

No details about the problem but Maan's father blindly trusts the Mr. Patel it seams.

Maan & dadima' talk

''Maan, don't let your pride blind you. Humility is what makes a man. How a man treats a person lower in status than him, shows what he is made of. Don't think that just because you are Gaurav Khurana's son, that you are some big celebrity. You are still nothing in your own right, and I would hate to have any grandchild of mine with false pride...Treat ever person you meet as an individual. They might not all be good people with your sense of values, but that's how you'll learn to judge people and the keep your friends.''

CHAPTER: 10

Geet's realization and trying to prove herself worthy her improvement in performance, Nik's attraction towards Geet, the pain he saw in Geet's face while dancing 👏👏⭐️👍🏼

''Man, Sid has got to see this. He'll be ecstatic!'', Mayank gushed...he picked up his phone and called Sid to the practice room immediately!

Sid rushed in and they both sat in a corner and pretended to work on Mayank's material. They watched discreetly while Nik and Geet worked on a few steps.

Both seemed happy about something, However their

"parking lot, when a man, pinched Geet's behind slyly and gave a sleazy smile and cheap comment. Before Nik could turn around and do something, Geet had pulled the man by his hand to face her. She pulled him down by his collar and rammed her knee in his face. She turned and kicked him hard in his crotch while he doubled up in pain. Nik, tried grabbing her by the waist, but she pushed his hands off and reached out to hurl abuses at the man and continue punching him wherever possible. Nik, ran and grabbed her by her waist and pulled her off. He carried her off, while she struggled to get his hands off her, still shouting at the man. . His face was bleeding and he limped.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

''Geet, relax will you. Woh toh bhaag bhi gaya. Yaar, tub hi naa...you're spitting fire, you know that?''

👏⭐️

''Err this random guy pinched her butt and said something cheap to her, while we were coming bac-''

''Uh-oh'', said both of them in unison. The looked at each other seriously

''Is the guy ok? Police-shulice toh nahi aayi naa'?, Sid asked in a worried tone.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

That sounded odd. ''Shouldn't Sid be asking about Geet?, thought Nik.

Nik looked at both of them, surprised. Mayank looked at his expression and explained."

over all the 5 chapters are