'Intikhaab' A MaYur FF -Completed (Epilogue pg103) - Page 2

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maizis thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#11
loved the cpncept!!!!
do pm me!!! :D
sariska_mnarti thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#12
Amazing concept

another intense track by u

loved it

cont soon
Mahima_13 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#13
finally

u started a story

as i promised

i am there with you on this journey

and i love the concept

kaffi hatkar hai



upadte soon

luv

mahima
FragranceOfLove thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#14
Hey i really loved the concept....actually loved it....its so different.....and its something that is holding me back....like i am searching something within it....and i am not sure that i want the answer.....confusing??? well, let it be...i loved the concept and kindly pm me whenever u update...

love,
Mahak
MyInspirationz thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#15
Abey.. kitne baar rulayegi.. KAJ mein rulaya.. Qayenaat mein rulaya.. aur ab yahan bhi.. tujhe rote hue viewers pasand hain kya... hehehhee..
Bring it on.. aur sunn, abhi se bol ke rakh rahi hoon.. agar mere comment karne mein der ho gayi toh gussa mat ho...
kirti123 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#16
oh my tragedy queen is back
continue soon
i just love to read what u write
so eager to read
😊
556195 thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#17
hey neela😛
another great ff by you
and i am really happy that you started another ff
and this happy ending right?😉😆
and i am ready to read it
do cont soon
i cant wait na its sounds so interesting
update sooooooooooooooooooooon

love
tashu

😆

-SharNeela- thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#18
Writer's Note

Hey Everyone...Gosh I am overwhelmed by the response!! Thank you so much you guys. I am sorry that I am not responding to each one of you individually but I am sure you will understand how much I appreciate your comments and the encouragement. To be honest, when I drew up the concept, I had nothing in my pocket...not a single chapter was written. I just knew what I wanted to portrait and the storyline has to be developed around that. Many a times I was slipping away from the concept but then again the fear of readers like Nivi 😆 has dragged me back to the track and after the great response I got from you all...it was ALL clear to me.

So here is the 1st part. I know...I know its too short but those of you who know me, you know that my first few parts are relatively shorter as I try to establish the platform for the story and the characters. The ground work is done now...next few updates will be around MaYur's childhood until we land on the current age frame.

Hope you like it. And...as promised, here is the PM list that I collected from the LIKE list. You are the people whom I will contact sometime later at the end of this FF and ask you to choose the ending for me. So...best of luck to you all. I hope all of you are there till the end with me. (If I missed anyone or if anyone wants to add their names to the list, please let me know)



Love

Neela

Edited by sharneel - 14 years ago
Shruti_0505 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#19
resssssssssss

neela plz do add me to ur pm list
i guess u didnt add me coz i had not editted my comment

Edited by mayur_my_jaan - 14 years ago
-SharNeela- thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#20
Jab They Met
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(The first 3 Years)

My story begins in a lightly populated small town where everyone knows each other and live in peace and harmony. They participate in each others happiness and sorrow like one big family. The town itself is self sufficient with good opportunities for jobs and has good schools and colleges for the youngsters. Today, the people of this town is celebrating the birth of a new born baby girl named Nupur, at the Bhushan house. For many years, the Bhushan couple has been waiting for this day and today, they have opened their home to the whole town to celebrate this joyous occasion with them. One of the special guests, are the Sharmas. Mr. Sharma is an ambitious Engineer and a very good friend of Mr. Bhushan as they went to the same school and college. The Sharmas are accompanied by their only child of age 3, Mayank. As they enter the heavily lit Bhushan house, both Bhushan and his wife Aparna come with open arms to greet them. Whilst the elders are meeting and greeting each other, little Mayank is hiding behind Shilpa and rolling his eyes across the entire house. He is feeling slightly intimidated by all the strangers around him and trying to hide himself behind his mum to avoid any mishap. All on a sudden, his eyes get stuck on a crib in the centre of the room, decorated with flowers and balloons. He cannot hold himself back anymore and without anyone noticing manages to get near to the crib. Whilst his main focus is on the colorful decorations of the crib, suddenly he is forced to look inside by the sounds coming from there. And there, he lays his eyes, for the first time, on an angelic form of a baby girl dressed in white. She is looking at him with her big, big eyes and sometimes making an attempt to scream out loud. Mayank is trying to touch her hoping that he can calm her down…but all in vain. Baby screams and there come the parents rushing to her and pick her up. Mayank notices that and grabs Shilpa's saree to ask her something. When Shilpa bends down to listen to him, he asks..

M: maa hum ishe apne saath ghar le jaaye?

Hearing this, everyone breaks into laughter. Mayank is still persistent though..so Shilpa responds..

S: abhi nahi beta. abhi to woh bohat choti hai. aap kaise khayal rakkhoge inka. hum baad me le jaayenge inhe

After this event, Mayank and Nupur meet many many times as they grow up. Each time, Mayank asks questions or raises demands of a similar pattern..and the answers are very much obvious from the parents. As they grow up, these demands get a bit sophisticated with lots of objection handling

Nupur at 3 Months: Trying to pick her up..
M: humain bhi do…gaud me uthana hai
S: abhi nahi beta…choti hai bohat, gir jayegi to chaut lag jayegi

Nupur at 6 Months: In an attempt to shove some chocos down her throat..
S: beta itne choti bacchi ko chocolate nahi dete. phans jayegi gale me!
M: kyun phansegi? usski do do daant hai na?
A: do daant kaafi nahi hai beta. thodi aur badi ho jaaye to dher saara chocolate khilana usse

Nupur at 1 Year: Wanting to play with her…
M: Maa humain Nupur ke saath football khelna hai..
A: abhi nahi baccha, usse to chalna bhi nahi aata

Nupur at 2 Years: Take her to school..
M: humain Nupur ko school me le jaana hai
S: beta woh choti hai, school kaise jaayegi?
M: main gaud me uthake ley jaaoon?
S: gir jayegi beta aur woh school me jaake kya karegi?
M: khelegi mere saath…mere doston k saath

Nupur at 3 years: Dragging her along everywhere
M: chalo Nupur hum bahar khelne chalte hai (holds her tight and starts dragging)

Nupur is reluctant to go and rather stay next to her dollhouse and play. But Mayank is persistent. He is pushing her to go along with him and Nupur resisting..
S: Mayu jaane de usse…nahi jaana usse bahar khelne
M: nahi ..humain Nupur ke saath khelna hai. chalo Nupur, uttthhhoooo

The first 3 years of Nupur's life is spent having Mayank around her pretty much all the time. And everytime they meet, the last question/demand that Mayank would have is...

M: maa, aaj Nupur ko hamare saath le jaaye apne ghar?

After listening to this question for 3 whole years, non-stop, constantly, Shilpa suggests..

S: aaj nahi beta per haan ekdin hum zaroor Nupur ko hamare ghar ley jaayenge woh bhi hamesha k liye agar aapki Uncle Aunty ko koi aitraaz na ho to (she smiles at Aparna)
A: aap hi ki beti hai, jab chahe ley jayye. humain kya aitraaz ho sakta hai. kyun ji?
B: dekho bhai..humain to Sharma ki mun se sunna hai…beti ka haath maang raha hai bacchu zara jhuk ke maang. aise thodi na de denge apni pari tujhe..(laughs)
Sha: abbay..hum bhi ladke wale hai. dhoom dhaam se aayenge teri beti ka haath maangne. tu bhi kya yaad rakkhega!!
B: to thik hai phir…baat pakki hui. waqt aane per tu khud aayega meri beti ka haath maangne
S: haan bhaisahab per tab tak k liye aap ki Nupur hamari amanat bannke aap ke paas rahegi
B: vaada raha bhabi…aisa hi hoga

And that day, MaYur fate was sealed by their parents without them even knowing what is stored for them in their near future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ek arsa guzara raahon me teri
iss intezaar me ek umer bhi mukhtasar sa lagah
humain jeena sikha gaya teri qadmon ki aahatein
tu jo aayi to dil-o-jaan bhi tujh pe nisaar sa lagah
har lamha beetana hai panahon me teri
teri aaghosh me har ek dard humain be-asar sa lagah

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neela


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