Mere Saathi(RN)-Pt.25,pg.144(17/01)

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manali

@Revolutionbreez

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 16 years ago

#21

Originally posted by: yyyy
sounds very interesting plz continue soon

will b posting prologue soon dear...😊

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manali

@Revolutionbreez

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 16 years ago

#22

CHARACTER SKETCH :

Captain Rajveer Singh Shekhawat

Cadet Naina Singh Ahluwalia

Cadet Alekh Sharma

Cadet Amardeep Huda

Cadet Pooja Ghai

Cadet Ali Baigh

Cadet Yaduvansh Sahani

Dr.Cptn Shalini Singhal

Sameera Shroff --- Sanaya Irani

Cptn Gunaraj Randhawa(gunny)

Cptn Abhimanyu Rai Chauhan

Brigadier Chandokh

Major Nair

Subhedar Suri

Subhedar maj.Lolita Sen

plus few additions will be there....which i will uncover as there time comes...... I may make slight changes in the behaviour of characters...

Edited by Revolutionbreez - 15 years ago

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Sumi_162710

@Sumi_162710

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

#23

Wow character sketch is up. Nice twist abt damaged face of the dead body. W8ing 4 the part eagerly.

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manali

@Revolutionbreez

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 16 years ago

#24

IMPORTANT NOTE:

In my fic, Naveen's face( when his dead body is received by his family) is

completely damaged. It was damaged to such an extent that if his body wudn't

have carried that "Taveez" which he used to wear and if there had not been

the bangle ( KADAA) which Naina had gotten him from Golden

temple,Amritsar; they would not have recognised his body. Naina cried at the

site of the 'Kadaa'. She wondered how her brother treasured even simplest of

her gifts.... as
'Even while embracing death', Naina thought and she cried a

lot. But she won't allow Navin to take these things with him all the way to

heaven as it were the most precious things to her now.....

Navin's dead body with damaged face used to haunt Naina......😭

Edited by Revolutionbreez - 15 years ago

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Shaina_b

@Shaina_b

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 16 years ago

#25

Nice character sketch!!!!!😊 😊 😊 😊 👏 👏 👏 👏

Navin's body was completely damaged and they had recognised it only because it had Navin's taveez and kada!!!!😔 😔 😔 😔

Naina had cried a lot seeing these things!!!!!😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭

She now treasured these things as they were most precious to her!!!!!!😊 😊 😊 😊

Poor Naina!!!!!!😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭Navin's dead body with damaged face used to haunt her!!!!!!

I am sure Navin is alive and that wasn't his body at all!!!!!😊 😊 😊 😊

Edited by Shaina_b - 16 years ago

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Vertika Srivastava

@Vartika07

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#26

Thanks mam if i encouraged u to write the fic.😉 😉 😉
But dear now u must start it na, ab Priya ne aarti bhi utaar li hai to kis baat ka wait hai.😆 😆 😆
U have already posted the character sketch na so pls start updating it too.

Edited by Mahak Sinha - 16 years ago

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manali

@Revolutionbreez

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 16 years ago

#27

Originally posted by: sumaiya wahid
Wow character sketch is up. Nice twist abt damaged face of the dead body. W8ing 4 the part eagerly.

sumaiya...putting up the prologue....😊

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manali

@Revolutionbreez

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 16 years ago

#28

Originally posted by: Mahak Sinha
Thanks mam if i encouraged u to write the fic.😉 😉 😉
But dear now u must start it na, ab Priya ne aarti bhi utaar li hai to kis baat ka wait hai.😆 😆 😆
U have already posted the character sketch na so pls start updating it too.

Aree yaar , was about to put up the prologue....Internet problem....well check it out now...😊

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manali

@Revolutionbreez

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 16 years ago

#29

Hi guys! here i'm with my fic.In the beginning story may sound as in parts...as if disconnected.... but will be even and sorted as it progresses. Please read the 'NOTE' on page 4.

PROLOGUE :

Cadets rush to the site of ambush to save their Mentor,their Captain Rajveer.But return with Naina in shock,Huda in critical condition,and each one of them having heart wrenching site of burning jeep of capt.Rajveer imprinted in their minds....A visual.....

They can never forget all their lives!A visual that is going to haunt them for their lives.

A visual...... that is cruel fact of Naina's life....death of her brother's best friend,her mentor,her support,her guardian,Her Best friend,Her LOVE,Her LIFE...........

"Mai taa jeeya na maraa...

haaye we dasso main kee karaa.

Dil mile bina hi tut gaye,

Hath jude bina hi chutt gaye

kee likhe ni lekh kismat ne..."

(
She remembers first time she met Rajveer,First time when she shook hands with him when he assured her that his secret is safe with him.All the wonderful moments they spent together flashed in front of her)

Naina couldnt face death of her rajveer sir and went in shock.She sat there, her face leaned against the cold stony wall...

When Shalini came to check her she didn't respond.....Neither when she caressed her hair lovingly....She dint blink for 48 hrs,the depth of her grief couldnt be imagined.....

Captain Abhimanyu after lot of efforts made react cry by calling her brother and her mentor a traitor.

Kaisa lag raha hai Naina? tumhe pata hai tumhare bhaai se bhi yahi sawaal poocha gaya tha?", Abhi had asked.

when she didn't respond, he continued...

Kamaal ki baat yeh hai ki usske paas bhi koi jawaab nahi tha....", said Abhi trying to be sarcastic.

Waise galati tumhari nahi hai...aksar gaddaro ke paas aise sawaalon ke jawaab nahi hote...", he said fiddling with the gun.

Waise iskeliye toh tumhe kaafi achchi training mil gayi hogi naa? Hain naa? I mean tumhare saare apne.....sab issi raaste par toh chale hai..."

It stabbed him million times to utter further...But he had to do this for her sake. Hardening his expressions and keeping his tone as accusatory as possible, Abhi added,

Tumhara bhaai....GADDAR....!!"

Naina's face started hardening.....

Aur tumhara Mentor...", Abhi continued sarcasm and mock evident in his voice, " Tumhare BELOVED..... Captain Rajveer singh Shekhavat, a BLOODY MURDERER !!"

Naina turned to him fiercely....her eyes burning with anger....

" Kitne khoon kiye unhone? Do? atleast Do ke baare mein toh hum jaante hai....ek senior officer ke sarr pe bandook taanke, bhari dopahar, a cold blooded murder! Aur uske pehle waala khoon?"

Naina was shivering with fury....

" Captain Naveen singh Ahluwalia kaa khoon? Koi kaise apni dost ki chaati pe bandook rakh sakta hai? kaise? kaise trigger daba sakta hai? Ek baar..do baar...TEEN BAAR..!!"

Her eyes welled up....

" Dard hua hoga na Naveen ko? did he enjoyed it??? Hum aapke maa baap ko phone karna chahate hai aur badhaai dena chahate hai, Badhaai ho Mr. & Mrs. Ahluwalia... aapki beti bhi ussi raaste pe chalna chahti hai,jispar aapka beta chala tha... aapka beta bhi gaddar tha aur aapki beti bhi...."

Naina couldn't take more.... she snatched the gun from abhimanyu and pointed it at his temple....

" Mera bhaai gaddar nahi tha..." , she said shivering with fury...

Abhi looked upto her...his eyes full of tears....this was what he wanted...he wanted her to react ....to get out of her shock....

Naina slowly lowered her hand and dropped the gun. Abhi wanted to comfort her.....but couldn't.....he just wiped his tears and left.

The Heart wrenching cry of Naina that night was heard by every nook and corner,every tree,leaf,flower,by every person of KMA.

"Baar baar rod aakhiyan ,tenu jo naa vekh sakhiya

Kee likha ye yaar kudrat ne...

katta mein kee we din,teri saun tere bin...

Main to jeeya naa mara..."

Every purpose of her mere existence seemed to be finished for her.This World no more mattered.As if there was nothing left for her in this world.

"
Chann se jo tute koi sapnaa..
jag soona soona laage

jag soona soona laage

koi rahe naa jab apna.

Jag soona soona hai toh

ye kyun hota hai

jab yeh dil rota hai

roye sisak sisak ke hawayein

jag soona laage chann se jo tute koi sapnaa."

She once thought of quitting army....But.... after lot of persuasion from her parents,friends and Captain Abhimanyu,she stayed.

All the cadets were sent to detention centre where they were left to wrath of Major Bharghav.

Naina once attempted of comitting suicide.....

But the lines written by Naveen,while he was kept in solitary confinement there, prevented her from doing so.

********************************************

frenz this was the prologue....waiting 4 ur comments....😊

One more things....since multiple PM option is available to one's in the buddy list , add me to urs so that i can pm u without fail.... mujhse ho nahi raha hai....when i tried to add you, i was facing an error....so pz try, if you can add me to urs and den i can pm u without fail...😊

Edited by Revolutionbreez - 15 years ago