No Turning Back
Kranti stood looking at Mamiji desolately. Mamiji was in no mood to hear anything Kranti had to say. She was rambling about how ungrateful Kranti was, how she brought misfortune upon anyone she met.
"I have to get rid of you," said Mamiji. "But I don't want society to think I threw you out. So I'll get you married off. Tomorrow I shall go to the matchmaker and fix you up with someone. It doesn't matter if he's young or old, rich or poor, normal or otherwise. After a small ceremony, I want you out of here. Out of here…..do you hear me?" She screamed.
Kranti took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. The time for decision making had come.
"It's okay, Mamiji," said Kranti, "I'll go."
"Go?" she bared her teeth in anger. "You'll go when I get you married off."
"No", said Kranti.
"Stop being insolent, you ingrate!"
"I'm not marrying anyone. I shall leave and leave you in peace."
"Oh! Now you argue? How dare you! You live in my house and ….."
"This house is not yours," inserted Mamaji. "This is my sister's house."
"You be quiet. Why must you open your mouth at the wrong time?" Mamiji raged.
"Mummyji, what is Father saying?" Lovely asked. "Isn't this our home? I mean doesn't this house belong to us?"
"No, it doesn't." Her father explained. "This is my sister's house. She's dead now, so it belongs to her daughter….. Kranti."
"Don't talk rubbish, you silly man. This house is ours. The place where the press was, was hers. That was what she gave Kranti. It was a good plot, but they blew it away for Prem babu."
"That plot belonged to the Rai family which was jointly held by Kranti's parents. On their death, it passed on to Kranti, just like this house."
"This house doesn't belong to this manhoos here." Mamiji insisted. "We had exchanged our plot for this. So stop talking nonsense."
"It doesn't matter Mamaji, I am leaving." Kranti said.
"Yes yes, do what you want………and bring more shame upon us. After doing what you did with Nirmal, now do further damage. That's all you do. After taking so much care of you, spending so much money on you, this is what you do? Are you happy with yourself?"
Kranti was heartbroken. Her chest was tight with pain and her throat was aching with unshed tears. It was difficult to swallow. She knew she was like a warrior whose weapons had been taken away. Mamaji went to the door and opened it. He left.
"You are my family ……" began Kranti.
"Shut up!" shouted Mamiji. "How will you repay all the money we spent on you? How much effort we have spent on you! Oh get out of my sight!" said Mamiji.
"Why do you hate me so much, Mamiji?"
"Hah! What is there to like in you? You're nothing but trouble and a huge headache that just hasn't gone away and a complete drain on our finances."
Something seemed to give way in Kranti. So much of virulence was pouring out of Mamiji. But Kranti had self respect and she decided to have her say. She had to defend herself against the cruelty of this woman.
"A complete drain on your finances? My parents gifted money to both of you so that you wouldn't find it difficult taking care of me. When you had nowhere to go, she asked you and Mamaji to live here."
"Be quiet…..you nothing." Mamiji yelled.
"Wrong. I am educated and know quite a bit about law. I know the exact status of all the properties that belong to me. You have done enough for me and I shall be forever grateful to you for that."
"Really? Do you know the meaning of that word? I gave you a roof over your head."
"You gave me a sense of belonging, of being a part of a family. I gave you a roof over your head. When your father became more and more indebted to the moneylender, Mamaji sold the house and wanted to move to a smaller house. My parents asked him to keep whatever money he had safely for his children and move into this house that was lying vacant anyway."
"So are you rich Kranti?" asked Lovely.
"No not really. But you take care of yourself and your parents." Kranti hugged her little cousin. "Goodbye Mamiji and I'm sorry……….."
"Get out!" shouted the stubborn woman.
Kranti went to her room. In a small bag, she carried some papers, her parent's photos, a few clothes and the urn of her parents' ashes which still had not been immersed in the river. Mamaji had preserved them.
Kranti left the house. Behind her she had left the only people she could call family. She had left behind a whole lot of memories and experiences. At the gate, she turned to look at the house. Tears gathered in her eyes and she sighed. She bade a silent farewell to her girlhood and walked out of the gate.
She had taken a few steps when she realised it was pretty late in the night and she had nowhere to go. What was she going to do now? She walked on because she could do nothing else.
Raj waited silently for her. He continued to lean on the tree. He saw her emerging from the gate but didn't go forward. He narrowed his eyes trying to guage her expressions. But the night was dark and Kranti was far away. Two men rounded the corner behind her. They seemed to be in no hurry. They were Brits. There was no knowing what they would do seeing a lone Indian girl on the streets at this time of the night. Kranti too heard them. She pulled her dupatta near her cheeks to hide her face. Raj stepped out.
"Kranti." He called softly. She looked at him shocked. He eyed the two men who were nearing them. Kranti kept quiet and stood near Raj. He cupped her elbow and pulled her on the side of the road allowing the two men to walk by.
"What are the two of you doing so late?" one man asked.
"Taking a stroll," answered Raj.
"Indeed? At this time of the night?"
"Well that's our house there," explained Raj pointing to Mamaji's house. "We've just come here to take a good look at the moon."
The men nodded, made a snide remark under their breath and continued on their way.
Raj looked down at Kranti who was by his side. He saw the top of her head as she was looking elsewhere. It was sometime before she sucked in her breath and shuddered. But she stood close to Raj in absolute silence. He wondered what was going on in that pretty head of hers. He knew the freedom movement was far from her mind right now. She was taking a stock of her life. She gave a slight cough and looked away from the house. She turned her head and was surprised to see herself with Raj. She moved away and his hand left her elbow. She didn't know what she was going to do now.
"Come with me, Kranti," said Raj.
"No."
"Why not? Where will you go?"
"I ….I ….," she continued hesitantly.
"You have nowhere to go at this time of the night. Come home with me to Nanima's and in the morning you decide where you'd like to go. I won't stop you then."
His suggestion was sound but she didn't want to take any favours from him.
"Don't be mulish, Kranti. Don't let pride come in the way of good judgement."
"I am going to take the first bus out of town."
"Where to?"
"To the riverside. Once I finish doing what I have to I shall return here."
"Here?"
"To Lahore."
"Why the urgency to go to the riverside? And why right now?"
"Do I need to answer any of your questions?"
"Are you telling me to get lost?"
Kranti remained silent hoping he would just go away. But he stood where he was.
"Think again, you're alone in the middle of the night without a roof over your head. Be realistic," he urged. "Okay, there's a tiny river that flows near my grandmother's house. Do what you have to there."
"I can't," she pleaded.
"Why ever not?" He seemed puzzled at her behaviour. He took a step towards her but she backed away. He sighed. This was getting them nowhere.
"I'm going home," he told her. It's been a long day and tomorrow is going to be even more taxing. So maybe I should say goodnight and leave you to your chores."
He suddenly turned on his heel and began to walk away. He walked at a reasonable pace and didn't give a backward glance. It was quite a distance to the main road. He whistled as he ambled along. He turned the corner and hid behind the hedge to see what Kranti was doing. She was walking behind him but at a distance. When she saw that he was out of side, she broke into a run. Raj grinned. The little vixen was following him. He quickly began to walk as if he didn't care. When she rounded the corner, she slowed down. Thank God he was within sight. He reached the main road and to his luck, a tonga came along. He stopped and talked to the driver. Raj went to take a seat at the back. He hated these modes of transportations. It wasn't so in London. He smiled to himself.
"Wait." Kranti called from a distance.
Raj clucked with impatience. "What is it?"
She neared the carriage. "I ….I…"
"Well?"
"It's not what you think……." She trailed away.
"Goodnight."
"I don't want to be obliged to you ………"
"Yes?"
"Will you let me finish speaking?"
"You have some gall Kranti. This is the tonga that I have hired and I want to go home if you don't mind."
"I…."
"Sorry find yourself another tonga, this one's taken."
"You know something? You are …..aaaaargh," she shrieked as she felt herself being lifted and dumped on the seat. Raj hopped in the next seat and motioned to the driver to start.
"He – he," laughed the man. "Sometimes it's really very difficult to please your wife."
Kranti almost choked.
Raj smiled wickedly and raised an eyebrow. "Wife? The man is out of his mind."
He snaked out his hand and went for Kranti's throat. "I'd like to wring your pretty neck." He was surprised that his hand almost encircled her slim neck. He felt a pulse beating at the base of her throat. He looked at her and slowly removed his hand.
"You are the most hateful man that I have met." She cursed beneath her breath. But her words only drew laughter…….uncaring laughter.
Kumkum Bhagya
Anupamaa
