At the Riverside --- 1
The tonga had travelled a furlong before the driver asked, "Where to, Sir?"
Raj gave him the directions to the haveli.
"Oh! That's pretty far!" said the driver. But he was happy to have a long distance customer. By the looks of it, the gentleman wouldn't haggle over the price. He began to whistle a cheery tune.
Raj stretched his long legs. He hated this bumpy ride. As it is the roads in India were kuchcha. The ride in a tonga would surely give him a backache. His legs wouldn't fit in the space provided, so he slanted them across accidentally brushing Kranti's feet. She jerked her feet away and huddled further into the corner. Raj pulled his hat over his eyes feigning to sleep. From under the rim of his hat he watched her. What was she planning to do? She couldn't be going far away since her uncle was in prison and he knew she was going to meet him tomorrow. She didn't want to go to the haveli with him, so where the devil was she going? She clutched her little bag in one hand and a box in the other. She was looking into the night lost in thought.
"After dropping off the two of you, I shall go home," informed the driver.
"Please," said Kranti, "Bhaisaab drop me at the station."
"Station!" exclaimed the driver, "but bibiji that's a very far drive. My poor horse will get very tired. It's getting late too."
Raj didn't move from his relaxed position. He was listening to every word.
"Oh! Please, please drop me to the bus stand then."
"Bibiji, why the urgency at this time of the night?"
Raj was happy as the man was asking all the right questions.
"I have to go to the river."
"But Saab said he's take you to one near your home."
"I need to go to a big river."
"The big river is way outside Lahore."
"Take us to where I told you dear man, there is a river not far from there. Kranti, I'll take you there." Raj commented from under his hat.
"Very good Saab, very good." The man was happy that he didn't have to travel more than necessary.
Kranti fell silent. The rest of the journey was done in silence. It was a clear night with just wisps of clouds spread across the dark sky like thin ribbons. The stars were out in full measure.
They neared the haveli. From the distance, the huge structure looked lovely. The large dome at the centre gave it a majestic look. It was the first time Kranti saw the haveli from this angle. She sighed. At the moment she wasn't feeling very happy and was in no mood to really appreciate the magnificence.
"Is this where you live, Saab?" asked the driver in wonder.
"Hmmmm," replied Raj.
The tonga came to a halt. Raj got off and turned to help Kranti down. He picked her up from her waist and put her down. He turned to deal with the driver. He was silently thanking his stars that there was no resistance from Kranti. She stood at one side, her eyes downcast. Raj took out his wallet from his hind pocket, took out a couple of notes and paid him. The driver beamed and thanked him.
"Goodnight, Sir," said the Driver.
"Hmmmmm goodnight," said Raj.
The door to the haveli opened and Hiralal emerged. He swiftly ran down the steps and hurried towards Raj and Kranti. The tonga turned and was moving away towards the gate.
"Good evening, sir," said Hiralal. He reached forward to take Kranti's luggage from her. She shuddered and pulled away. Hiralal looked a bit surprised. Raj put up his hand and gestured with his head that Hiralal leave them alone. Hiralal retreated into the background.
"Kranti," began Raj.
She didn't turn to look at him. "I have to go."
"Where do you want to go?"
"How many times do I have to tell you …. to the riverside? Can't you understand?" She turned to look at him. Raj could hear the near hysteria in her voice. He silently looked at her. She looked at the stuff in her hands and began to walk away towards the gate. She must have taken a step or two, when Raj's hand caught her elbow.
"Is it that imperative?" Raj asked.
"Yes." She hissed.
"Okay, wait a moment. I'll get the car." He went to get the car from the garage. He drove over. He came round to take the baggage from her hand. But she shied away. He was mystified. What was there in her hands that she didn't want anyone to touch? He wanted to ask her but thought better of it. He opened the passenger door. She kept the box on the front seat and opened the back door. She slipped her little bag on the seat at the back. Closing the door, she got in the front seat and held the box on her lap. Raj was at the wheel and slowly drove out of the gates.
They sped through the countryside which was dark. Raj dropped speed.
"Don't stop here. Take the next right turn." Kranti advised.
"You know this place?" Raj was surprised. "How come?"
Kranti shrugged.
"Oh… don't tell me you and your KK friends have a hideout here?"
"What's it to you?"
"Nothing…….I find all of you a bit tiring. None of you have a proper leader nor a proper strategy. Tell me when you want me to stop."
After a while she told him to halt. She got down and told him she'd be back soon.
"Are you going down to the banks?"
She nodded. She slowly began to walk down the kuccha road. Raj got out of the car. He waited. He kept a good distance between them as he leisurely paced along behind her. She reached the water's edge. Removing her footwear, she waded through the shallow river, till the water reached almost her knees. Raj could see her quite clearly in the white moonlight. He hoped she wouldn't go any further into the river. He followed her but waited at the bank. She opened the box and took out an urn. She kept the urn on a large rock next to her. She delved in again and took out another urn. She looked up at the sky. The moon was almost full and was shining brightly. The fragrance of night flowers wafted to her.
"I am sorry, Bauji."
She set the urn on the water and with her hands pushed it towards the current. The urn rolled and bobbed and made its way to the deep end.
"I am sorry, Ma."
She did the same with the second urn. Suddenly she felt as if life had ebbed away from her. She sat on the rock and looked in the direction of the urns. Those contained the last remains of her parents.
"I am sorry Tauji. I couldn't preserve the ashes until our country became free. Where would I keep them when I have no place to live? I hope you will understand. I had wanted them to have a decent burial."
She sat desolately on the rock completely alone. Dry sobs broke from her throat.
"O God! Why was I ever born? Why didn't simple joys ever come my way? Why do I feel so alone today?"
At a distance Raj could hear her whispers and occasional sobs. Dear God ! Had she just immersed her parents' ashes? No wonder she was desperate to reach the river for the last rites.
"Kranti….." Raj called out softly. "Come back……."
Kranti ignored him. She heard him draw close as he waded in to stand near the rock.
"Come on let's go……….you've been here for over an hour."
"I don't want to leave."
"Okay, let's sit on the sand over there."
She got off the rock and together they sat on the sands. She loosely looped her arms round her knees and put her chin on them. He didn't know how she would react to his words of comfort. But he was going to try anyway.
"Kranti," he began.
"I wonder if I did the correct thing……" she trailed off and looked at him.
What were her eyes seeking? Reassurance or understanding? Or both?
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