~ Part 18 ~ sneak peak part-17Something disturbed his sleep. When his eyes cringed against the bright they sensed, he turned over his side to dig into a darker recess. And then he groaned. Not out loud, since all that escaped him was a hoarse yell.
"What..." he began, his hand shooting up to the curve of his neck as it cringed in pain. His eyes fluttered reluctantly and he attempted to shift out of his awkward position. Finally waking up.
"What the hell..!" he swore now in a voice heavy from a disrupted slumber, massaging the strained nerve for several moments. Till the pain seemed to subside, and his vision accustomed to the lights. It was after several more seconds of holding his eyes in a semi shut daze at a random spot midair that he suddenly snapped to sense.
"Holy... Christ!" he muttered sitting up straight instantly as his eyes shot open to take in the surroundings. And noticed the cell just before it slipped off the edge of the couch he had unknowingly crashed upon. Having rescued it the time on its screen caught his eye. 4AM. Habitually he thumbed through some screens even as one hand idly continued to massage the neck, until he stopped at the right one. And stared. Then frowned. Then exhaled sharply.
"No missed calls... not even a text?"
Frowning deeper in thought, his eyes went to the wall clock and he remembered he had checked the time less than a minute ago. Still 4AM. He couldn't call her now. But why had she not called him in the first place? Unconsciously scrubbing his neck to a slight redness his mind went over the many possibilities, both reasons and excuses, mostly nothing that he wanted to accept. And he sighed restlessly again. This woman sure knew how to make people worry behind her back.
"Nothing..." he told himself, "Nothing... to worry about." He had said he'd be up to hear from her. But he had dozed off. Just as she could have forgotten. "Yeh! Just... that..." he told himself, rather unconvinced. As he got up hastily something fell from his lap. Her wallet... and the picture. He bent down to retrieve both of them. Then looking at the picture, his eyes narrowed at it, until he replaced it in the slot it belonged. An involuntary smile made way to his face, and lingered.
"Belonging..."
He whispered softly to himself absorbing the idea of it... before shaking his head clear and placing the wallet on the coffee table. With one last look at it he dismissed it as the lesser of his distractions and walked out of the room. Putting out the lights behind him. As he climbed the stairs to the floor above, fiddling with the cell mindlessly, he continued to ponder over why she would have not called him. What did it take to make a call anyways? Or simply even text?
Frankly, with her past records he knew nothing should surprise him, she was highly unpredictable which left him with no real conviction to come to any conclusions. That it was careless or intentional, he had to admit was seemingly possible, even if it more than agitated him for how whimsical the very idea was. On the other hand that she was in some kind of trouble... Rahul stopped in his step. Then shook his head at himself a little too hard. No! He wasn't going there. And he stood without a thought for several moments.
"Perhaps I should call her..." he contemplated. 4AM was not as late as it was early... "Another hour. One more and I'll... call her." With a slow single nod of finality he moved up the rest of the stairs and entered his room. 5AM sounded right. She had to be by habit an early riser for her job, he would call her then. Until which, there was nothing much he could do except to rest the matter.
The room flooded into an orange yellow glow when he switched on the light and a low disgruntled groan reached him.
"Adi," Rahul announced to himself walking over to the bed to find, as usual, the covers having slipped much more off the bed covering the carpet than Adi himself. Systematically he tugged at them and pulled them back on in order before sliding into the bed himself, reclining against the back rest. He felt tired, partially from being unnaturally alert at this hour. Unwillingly thinking still, he stroked Adi's hair under the sheets.
"Papa..." He stopped with a little frown and lifted the comforter to check on the boy. Who seemed completely asleep, his arm under his head, legs bent at irregular angles, and could have only muttered sub consciously. Presently he rolled closer to Rahul and the warmth he offered and snuggled into a ball. Rahul grinned then pat his head with a feather light touch.
"This kid!" He muttered rolling his eyes at Adi, affectionately.
It had been his means to learning, being a father to his son. Of how a single individual was capable of portraying immense attitude and independence with a co-existing vulnerable side, always. The side which called for spoiling and pampering, when the claims on the outside never projected anything such. It was only human, to command exclusive attention no matter how much its need was underplayed, wasn't it?
At this precise thought a realization struck him like a bolt, his fingers stopped stroking the hair. And just remained. The parallel comparison of his psychoanalysis, for her. Wasn't she a paradigm of this human nature?
Muskaan Chaddha the self assumed 'Messiha' for all those kids who she had chosen to be responsible for, year after year, was at the end on her own just another individual struggling to keep order. The sense of security had not been inbred from her family, and in time she grew so accustomed to that way of surviving that she may have grudged its absence in a worldly know how, but from experience she knew no better. Who would empathize than him, having understood it only after giving a home to his own son. Cause in being there for Adi had prevailed a sense of homebound security that he had been deprived of in his own years.
Perhaps that was her inclination in working with children? To seek a security in being needed, by becoming responsible for them who trusted her, unlike the rest of world.
And then, he had walked into her life. An outlaw by her norms. In him she had glimpsed everything previously missing - support, security, and an understanding- all without judgement. And although she did always end up giving in to his will, he could recognize her reluctance, which had eluded his comprehension until now, had been a consequence of this very dilemma. If she feared an increasing dependence on him, could she be blamed? She was unconsciously even if, seeking the comfort, but to become weak in bargain and lose control over her own life could well be intimidating, could it not be?
Was he then, making her weak? Rahul sighed. Maybe he was. Maybe thats exactly what was driving her away, the apprehension of relying far too much on him and then losing it all. But she wasn't going to lose him, cause he wanted to be there for her.. for ever.
His thoughts treading uncertainty, he raked a shaky hand through his hair. Forever? Why, in respect to everything about her, was 'forever' such an implied perspective? He had never thought any other way, had he? When in the coffee shop that first chance he had decided to help her out on an impulse, he had not told himself it was just that once. He had not even stopped to think then, or for that matter given it an after thought. It had been a moment, a situation, and what he had felt was only right to do. But it had been just a beginning. And still, at no point of being involved in her problems had he wished to pull back- if he cared to admit in all candor, he had dealt with them very personally indeed. And he wished only to see her through it all... till the end.
So what was the end? And what if it was a long time from now, like forever? Ironically, the idea of forever, despite its ambiguity, did not daunt him. The possibility that it may not be forever, that there could be an end to this when all was resolved, however was. What was worse still, and more plausible knowing her, was her waking up one morning and telling him she would take care of the rest of her life herself. Alone. Without his involvement.
He wasn't obligated to her in anyway, she had told him, even if half heartedly for now, that he could walk away. And although he knew she needed him... he knew also that she could exist in the mess as she always had. He didn't want her to. Cause the need wasn't just hers, and it wasn't simply a need. Being side by side with her felt right, and every reminder of it being a temporary arrangement, an act, felt wrong. It wasn't an act, it was real. He didn't want to think of it, or believe it any other way. What lay behind in either of their lives, the other had not been a part of, but what lay ahead seemed impossibly incomplete without each other, ever again.
And that, implied only one thing... did it not?
Randomly his sight fell on the clock again. Quarter to five. Peeling off the bed covers, careful to replace them over Adi, he walked to the wash room. And stared at his reflection in the luxuriously spread mirror over the wall. And sighed. Then splashed his face with ice cold water several times over. And stood leaning over the basin, water dripping from his front locks which were now wet.
On an impulse he opened the side cupboard and drew out his shaving kit. Squeezed foam onto his hand and lathered his face, an unblinking gaze set upon the hazel eyes which stared back at him, like a stranger's. Taking the razor he ran it in swift strokes over the high cheek bones and the jaw, the upper neck, until it was all done. Wiping the remaining traces of white off he buried his face in the hand towel longer than was needed. Then looked up from beneath its cover, to his reflection in the mirror again. And smiled tight lipped.
It wasn't a bad face. He wasn't a bad guy. Why had he remained lonely so long?...
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He raised a hand over his eyes to shield them against the glint of reflection, from the sun that was shining like summer upon the snow that lay all around. And moving as briskly as he could while keeping a precarious balance, towards the sight of her car, he wondered why he had forgotten the shades at home. Then casting only a side glance at the wrist watch he knew he was running questionably late. Instead of calling her as he initially planned, he had talked himself into believing that she was only being unreasonably Muskaan. If being reasonable in return was scaring her off, fine! They could deal with things between them her way. This wasn't a game, but it seemed inevitable that two would have to play it. With his head lowered and collar pulled high against the bitter wind, he gave a dry smile.
"Good luck man!" he wished himself before covering the last few steps to the car. Opening the door, which had in all likelihood been long unlocked awaiting him.
"Hey!" His cheerful note was laced with a daring amount of cheek and Rahul mentally calculated his chances living to see tomorrow by the end of today. "What brought you here, Miss Chaddha?" She just looked at him, then turned to her rear view and reversed the car out of its current spot.
"So... we have a date?" he continued after she was driving up straight ahead again. She snorted, not amused at all.
"You have any idea how long I've been waiting? Or how late we are for that matter?" She snapped at him with a brief look, before focusing on the road, less for the danger of risking a slide and more so to not display how annoyed she was. "You could have just told me you didn't want to come..." She added coldly.
"And why would I ever say no to coming with you darling?" Muskaan grit her teeth, then spoke through them,
"Why would you keep me waiting 40 minutes?"
"Right! I would absolutely not. But how was I to know you were waiting here... that for me?" He made it sound grateful on his part and she had an urge to yell at him.
"You said we would meet here, like the last time, before the paath... did you not?" she spelled out with a forced patience.
"Did I?" he challenged, and she shut her mouth before she could retort this time. Feeling foolish about letting him steer the conversation his way. "Now that you mention, I remember I did. But correct me, did I not also ask you to let me know you were back home... safe?" Muskaan pursed her lips and continued to drive, her annoyance well lost. Rahul looked away with a sarcastic smirk he did not want her to see.
"I saw your text in the morning," she replied shortly. "But you could have at least called to inform me you would be late. Mum called... twice, and I didn't know what to say. And I was... getting worried."
Rahul reminded himself he had to ignore the hopeful feeling her last words inevitably evoked. Instead, when she was completely unprepared for this, he grabbed her cell off its charging position in the glass holding spot.
"What..." she started but he had flipped it open and was already jabbing some keys. When she looked at him from the road a few seconds later he turned to her in question, holding up the cell to her line of sight. With screen displaying the last dialed list. His number was right at the top. She looked away from it, to him and he was already working upon his own cell. Hastily she glanced at the road ahead. He waited till he had her attention again and this time he had his own cell held up, with the list of received calls. Which had none from her. She turned back one more time to her only refuge, the road ahead.
"You could have actually allowed that call to go through and asked me why... " he left it at that. Then shutting her cell reattached it to the charger and stuffed his own into his pocket. Folding his arms across his chest he sat in silence looking out of his window.
"I... just wasn't... I mean... I didn't know what to say to you after... " Rahul gave her a sharp look and she stopped.
"I reached back fine." he quoted in the air, "That's all you had to text." Muskaan swallowed hard at a threatening rise of something up her throat. "I was worried too Muskaan." She knew it was a lump at his softened tone. And nodded slightly.
"I should have. But I did see it in the morning, after I woke up. And I thought it was too late anyways."
"Or so you let yourself believe, conveniently as always." She remained silent, and when so did he she sighed.
"Do you have to be mean to me today of all days?" He looked at her with narrowed eyes before shaking his head at himself. Then running a hand through his hair he licked his lower lip.
"No. I guess not." he said. Then kept quiet. When they had driven that way for the next ten minutes, and were almost there Muskaan, in desperation to break the ice, finally remembered the obvious, and thanked her mind for it.
"My wallet?" she asked him cautiously.
"Oh yeh," he mumbled digging it out and handing it to her. She took it hoping he would look at her, he did not and she tossed it to the dashboard, thinking of how to further the talk. "I just came unannounced... and left in a thoughtless frenzy last night..." she offered forcing some part of her awkward confession out. Rahul considered the reluctance in her admittance mentally, before facing her.
"You don't have to think and plan to come over Muskaan, you're always welcome." he told her quietly. It was her turn to consider his words. Before smirking unhappily at herself.
"I'm not sure thats the message I got yesterday."
"Yes, and I'm sorry about that. I over reacted from the shock of seeing you at my doorstep after... " He paused dropping several decibels, "You come and take over the place like you own it Muskaan, you have no idea what that does to me... " Muskaan stiffened at the affected control in his voice as he paused again. And frowned to herself at his words, uncertain what to make of them. Hesitantly she turned her gaze to his direction, then back. And gulped. In the fleeting look she had seen an expression on his face from never before. It held an intensity she could neither comprehend nor handle.
"I'm... sor..."
"Why?" Rahul shot at her before she could complete. "What are you sorry for? The influence you have over my home or my life? Are you really sorry about that when the damn word means nothing to you?" Muskaan took a couple of seconds to enforce a calm upon herself. What was wrong with him today?
"Rahul... " she started giving him an almost helpless look, partially pleading and he finally diverted his eyes away from her. Running a hand through his hair. After several moments had passed by, Muskaan remaining tense and Rahul working to cast off the weariness he had not intended to let into today's conversation, he spoke again with a renewed resolve.
"You look good!" Muskaan's eyes shot wider before she gave him another look, puzzled this time. "What?" He asked her in return.
"Where did that come from?"
"From the way you look and my appreciation of it, obviously!" Muskaan hoped she wasn't blushing cause her cheeks felt heated. At the sudden compliment, even more at the dead serious way of his declaration. She tugged at the curl which had come lose again.
"You too... I guess..." she managed not moving her eyes off the road. Normally a reflex would have been to get a glimpse of herself in the rear view at such a remark. She dared not before him, he was sure to notice and possibly even comment about 'that'. The way he could intrude her mind was unnerving sometimes...
Rahul suddenly chuckled. And she was forced to look at him, puzzled again.
"You're mocking me, aren't you?" she asked with a sudden realization, then made a face and gripped the steering with increased force. He clicked his tongue at leisure.
"Na-uh! You are looking good..." he told her solemn again, "Its just your modesty to the compliment, such a sight to watch!" This time she blushed furiously. And glared at him.
"I have no damn idea why I take all this crap from you," she announced. And with an indignant toss of her head commanded herself mentally to stop obliging him with reactions.
"Perhaps cause you realize how much I take in return?" She reminded herself to not respond. Until several seconds had passed during which she had slowed down and turned into a driveway.
"Whatever inspired this sudden 'cordial' streak in you, can we take a break for like a couple of hours?" She asked him finally looking at him, with full attention and a blank calm. He focused to the sight up front instead of answering her as the car came to a halt.
"Home. Sweet. Home." he worded soundlessly looking at the white structure strikingly bright from the sun overhead, the surrounding snow abound area which seemed designed to be a sprawling lawn dotted with colors plenty come spring. Trees circumferenced the otherwise unmarked territorial boundaries. And the brown at the entrance looked nothing short of an expensive oak. "Sweet indeed...!" He admitted mostly to himself, before finally turning to look at her. To find her keenly intent upon his reaction.
"Looks like a great place," he quipped. She took a deep breath without breaking the look. Then abruptly faced the door.
"Welcome to my 'grand cage'... " When she looked at him his lips were curved in an amused smile. And his eyes twinkled. As if on cue they both broke out laughing. The familiar sense of ease his presence held returned to her.
"You're a hell of a rich li'l birdie in that case!"
"Which makes you a hell of a shot!" she returned giggling, then stopped abruptly. And looked away. Opening her door without another second she let herself out, and swore under her breath.
Rahul watched her, raising an eye, lowered it only to a spreading smile. She stood pretending to study her own house like it was her first time, avoiding his reaction to her unintentional slip. And he saw her fiddling with the end of her pastel pink dupatta that peaked beneath the broken white soft flannels of her coat. She raised a hand to brush off her locks off the shoulder, which appeared different from usual, seemingly more straight, and Rahul chanced to sight only then the matching pink and silver bangles as the sleeve fell short of the raised wrist. She was looking decidedly good. Not that he had ever known her to look otherwise. But when she made effort, he had to admit it was hard to miss. Rolling his tongue playfully he grabbed her cell and wallet, certain she wasn't turning back to face him for retrieving either or both, and finally got out of the car himself. When he shut the door, it beeped behind him instantly, and he knew he had every bit of her attention.
He would ensure it remained so all morning. She had to notice him, beyond what she had limited to know him for. Not her pretended mate, but a potentially real one.
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Nijal hastened her steps up the driveway, crossing the car on the way with only a casual glance. They were here, of course. Muskaan had called her the evening before to invite her to the paath. It had been a brief mostly monosyllabic conversation, their first after the rather blunt confronting one a couple of nights ago. Muskaan had asked her if she would come which she had confirmed; when she had been offered a ride Nij had declined. A small part of her wanted to be less hard on her friend, especially when she sensed an inclination on Muskaan's part to talk, but she had a far deeper understanding of the stubborn head she was dealing with.
She had spent a considerable part of the previous couple of days analyzing every minute detail of things between Rahul and Muskaan, and she was more convinced than ever before of him being the only man she could see with her. And she knew, deep in her heart Muskaan couldn't agree less. Knowing no better to make it happen, she was determined to let Muskaan see she wasn't supporting her cause to escape the matter in coward convenience. The second of her reasons to come to the paath, apart from being there for Muskaan even if they were on disagreement status for now, was to meet Rahul. And talk to him. Perhaps in one of the two quarters she would encounter better sense?
Inhaling deeply the cold winter air at the door step cleared her mind, she turned the bolt and walked right in, shutting it behind her back over the frigid outside. Then rubbing her hands for a moment she stood facing the guest closet before removing the gloves, then bending to get off the heels, and finally taking off her coat pulling a scarf out of its pocket. Covering her head with it as she eyed the rack for an empty hanger she was unable to spot one right away. And so she pulled the string of the lamp overhead to get some light and a better view.
Nijal gasped before she knew she had. Her shock turned rapidly suspicious at the sight of Meher clutching a coat rather possessively as she stood still shocked herself. A men's coat, which on a closer look she recognized as Rahul's. And looked back at Meher to demand explanation. Except, the latter recovered by then and spoke up herself.
"I was sorting the stuff in here. Its a terrible mess." Nijal looked at her in outright disbelief but Meher kept her confidence. At least on the outside.
"Better vision in the dark?"
"I just started, and was going to turn the lamp on." Nijal rolled her eyes.
"You really expect me to buy that Meher?" Saying so as she eyed the coat in her hand Meher hurriedly found its spot and hung it back. "Its AM's." she explained without being asked. This time Nijal kept a straight face, not that she had any reason to believe this woman, but she had just given her lie away with proof. She decided to hold back the knowledge to herself for now and said instead.
"Sorting closets when the paath is going on at your parents' place?"
"MY parents." She pointed out, cutting short the conversation. Nijal kept quiet, because she knew better than to try and coax a confession out of Meher, who went on to add in a snide tone, "Why don't you go participate in your best friend's happy moment?" Nijal weighed her options before moving back in her step and replying,
"After you." Meher shrugged before walking out of her 'hiding spot' in the closet, straightening her dress and covering her head appropriately.
"You're late..." she observed, leading the way down the steps to the spacious basement. In her mind memorizing the address she had read off Rahul's visiting cards in his wallet, the only thing she thought had been worth all the snooping around she had engaged herself in to find counter evidence. Any kind, that which could make him look bad and break off this prospective alliance which was gaining significant ground now having received her parents' approval as well.
"Perhaps I was destined to catch you in a compromised spot?" Nijal suggested in mock innocence and Meher struggled to show no signs of reaction, especially anything resembling guilt.
"Mind your own business." she snapped in a cold voice.
"You pray I do cause if you give me a reason... I'm not Muskaan." With that Nijal turned around her heel and walked away with the last word. Finding herself a spot she caught Muskaan's eye just before getting seated. Her look questioning, at no doubt, the unusual company she had entered the room with. The thought made Nijal grin, and she winked mischieviously at Muskaan before her eyes caught Rahul sitting next to her friend, head covered and bowed, folded hands resting in his lap. She looked back at Muskaan and they shared a smile before she joined in the prayers herself.
Ticking Meher gave her a sadistic high, and a consequent cheerful exchange with Muskaan felt good - she had always been incapable of prolonged coldness. At the back of her mind however she did wonder what the scheming woman had been up to this time.
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"Hey Maddy!"
She nearly dropped the plate full of food in her hand at the sudden greeting so close into her ear. Recognizing the voice she turned around however, wearing an expression non plussed as ever. And said nothing.
"You look ravishing!" He went on with a wide grin, then leaned forward much to her shock, but past her to grab a plate from the stack behind her. Muskaan moved out of the way almost too quickly, betraying in the haste her real reaction. Then before he turned back to her, she reminded her self this was him, 'the sissy', and steadied her mind.
"I'm afraid I have nothing half as nice to say about you, Mr. Singh." she insulted in a flat monotone. And begun to walk away with that but he held back on to her wrist. At this Muskaan shot him a glare, infuriated and in warning.
"You can still acknowledge the compliment." he said the grin becoming slimy, like him. She tossed her head sharply. Then met his eye straight. "Let go of my hand."
"What if I don't?"
"You will." They heard a third voice, and Rahul stepped up beside Muskaan.
"I don't think so lover boy... oops! LOSER boy!" Sangeet Pal said the grin persisting, only to be falter at the rough jolt of his arm as Muskaan shook her hand free rather harshly. And pointed a finger right into his face. "You will mind your language in my house or I'm..."
"Muskaan... " Rahul stopped her, she looked at him in protest. "Go check on the guests." He urged her on with a light nod. She frowned still looking unconvinced, so he raised a hand, and took her by complete surprise pulling her lips into a smile. "Go sweetheart..." he repeated in a voice softer through a smile of his own. She averted her eyes momentarily, then with a grudging smile at him turned about to comply, Rahul meanwhile turned back to Sanget Pal, his smile dismissed. Meaning to talk it out with this man once and for all today. There was no space for trifling matters when they had real problems to deal with.
However, what he heard next, as did Muskaan, was not very expected.
"I said I don't think so." Rahul was compelled to raise an eye mostly at the tone of his voice, while Muskaan stopped in her step. And turned around forcefully. Rahul side stepped before her just in time.
"Muskaan you should go help out with the lunch." he told her firmly.
"Oh but I think shes going to have stay for this rather interesting discussion." Sangeet Pal cut in.
"Lets not make a scene here." Rahul intervened in a calm voice, his eyes on Muskaan. Then facing him on his other side he went on to add, "Muskaan has too many people to entertain Mr. Singh and wishes to be a good host. I would not give her reasons to be otherwise if I was you." He finished in an even tone.
"Well you're not me cause I'm too smart to be in a tight spot like yours." He retorted back with a provoking look. Rahul pursed his lips shaking his head ever so lightly. This man was abnormally juvenile for his age, did he even realize?
"If I say Muskaan stays, she does." he added in an ostentatious command.
"Thats right I do." Muskaan replied before Rahul. "And you will get out of my house, right now." She told him bothering with the little courtesies no more. Sangeet Pal frowned at her displeased. Rahul scratched his chin lightly to distract himself from snickering as he was tempted to.
"I will not." Rahul looked up, first at Muskaan, then at Sangeet Pal, who was turning slightly red as he refused to obey her. And for just a second he almost felt bad for this foolish guy.
"Then it will do you good to stay out of my sight." She hissed at him tugging Rahul's hand to walk away.
"I KNOW ABOUT ADITYA GREWAL!"
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"Kadaah..." Nijal turned around at the soft summon from behind her to come face to face with Muskaan's mother. Who stood holding up to her the traditional 'peepal leaved' bowl and its sweet edible contents blessed from the prayers that had been conducted.
"Thank you... aunty," Nij replied with a smile which was at least partly not in obligation; she was definitely surprised at being approached so personally. Normally, she was just Muskaan's friend, who came and went as another guest in the house.
"How have you been beta? I haven't seen you in a while." This had to be spooky all this warmth and yet Nijal was unable to pin down an artificial edge to it. Cautiously she smiled again, with a light shrug.
"I've been well... just busy." The older lady smiled, and Nijal could swear it was real, even earnest. It only intrigued her further.
"Maddy and you, you girls are very close right?" When she nodded Mrs. Chaddha went on, "Can I ask you something and expect an honest answer?"
For a moment Nijal was stumped. Even as she somehow managed to keep her face unperturbed. Wow now! What was this, the million dollar trivia quiz? For obvious reasons, despite how harmlessly genuine it all appeared, she could not help but be suspicious.
"I will try my best," she replied at last, not lying.
"What do you think of Rahul?"
"Wh... What?... I think of... Rahul?" She wasn't certain she understood this right, and she wasn't certain what part of it was complicated. The 'what' part, the 'her opinion' part or the 'Rahul' part... or all? Muskaan's mother nodded, as if it was the simplest most obvious question to ask, or expect. "What I think of Rahul..." Nijal repeated more to herself.
"I've noticed, he's important to Maddy. Very important, in a different way as I've never seen before." The older woman explained to the younger. "And I've been inclined to believe I like the guy myself. But I can be old fashioned in estimating your generation. And Muskaan and I don't have a typical mother daughter bond where I could ask her myself... " She paused taking a deep breath and Nijal could not move her eyes off this lady, alert to catch anything unusual. Instead, she heard now, an ill concealed tone of regret. She wasn't heartless, but for all the time she had spent with Muskaan and known of her life Nijal couldn't force herself to feel for her mother, as she would possibly have, otherwise. She simply stood, waiting for her to complete as she resumed, "I do however wish to ascertain the best I can that she will find someone to share her life with in a greater sense of compassion and understanding than we could provide her with."
"And that someone was going to be Sangeet Pal Singh?" The words left her before she could stop them and she felt only remotely guilty about the mean remark.
"I guess you're right," Mrs. Chaddha admitted. "Its a good family, the guy earns well and they work together. I believed Maddy was being unreasonable about her stubborn stand and tried very hard to persuade her any way I could..."
"If only you had made that effort into knowing your daughter some more!" Nijal interrupted with another rash comment. This time however, she shook her head and added in a lower voice, "I'm sorry Mrs... I mean aunty, that was very rude of me. But... this is a first. I can't understand why I'm a part of this conversation, with you, when we've never shared anything barring basic greetings ever before."
"Because its for the first time in all the years of Maddy growing up that it has occurred to me how wrong I may have been." When she stated her words as simply, Nijal told herself to be patient and at least hear this out. If for no one else, then for Muskaan. And she nodded.
"You have been terribly wrong, mostly misled," she started, "But I don't want to go into that. Rahul is a great guy." With a pause she emphasized her next words, "What matters much more however is that he IS the right guy for Maddy. You know all about him that you asked him before, or perhaps from any sources you may have... and he is not perfect. But Muskaan and him together are." The older lady nodded, quiet in thought. Nijal having made her point stood in silence herself. Until the former spoke up again.
"Does she... love him?... And does he?" The trick question, Nijal thought, almost wanting to grin at the irony of being asked of all other things, this one. She contemplated how far she could risk making a statement based on her assessment alone. At last she said,
"I think... its far more than that... and far more than what either of them realize it is... " Inevitably a slow smile spread on her lips.
"I KNOW ABOUT ADITYA GREWAL!"
The abruptly loud comment was a rude interruption to all interractions including their own, a sudden hush fell as all eyes turned in their direction. To Sangeet Pal Singh who stood a little too bold, and the grim faced couple of honor, Rahul and Muskaan their eyes only for each other. Nijal flinched as the words she had heard hit home. And braced herself for a classic, much redundant drama to follow.
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"Yes," he said. The low unwavering voice carried to every corner of the hall sized basement as every pair of ears was strained awaiting his answer.
His own held Muskaan's, steady and sure against the brimming storm in hers. From the corner of his eye he could see her neck pulsating rapidly, hyper active from how vulnerable she was at that moment and Rahul, put to test himself, had no way console her. No other way, except that he didn't leave her eyes, and silently commanded her to not leave his as he confirmed the claims Sangeet Pal had accused him of, knowing his next words coming to the open had been a her long held dread. "I have a 7 year old son, and no I was never married hence never divorced."
Muskaan thought the pressure would capsize her mind, and half wished it would. There was a whimpering cry she pursed her lips tightly upon and her insides churned making her ill. How she prevented herself from the violent shaking like a lone leaf in a gale, she would see later in the form of bruised palms where the nails dug in brutally at the moment. And his eyes.
She dared not leave them or the stillness he had cast upon her with the intense hold of his gaze would crumble and so would she. He was controlling her will, and unknowingly though, she had easily surrendered. What lay beyond the raw strength they offered her, she was mentally paralyzed to read. She let it be. The silence around became thicker by the second, so much that it could be cut with a knife.
"A seven year old son?" She heard her father's voice as it finally broke the spell - of a morbid silence, and a bubble hope - it hit her in its impact how the last two minutes had turned her world upside down.
"Yes sir." Rahul replied, at last blinking and turning away from her to face the rest of them. Muskaan felt an immediate sweat break all over her body, her clothes felt suffocating and clampy, and inevitably her hand rose to cover her mouth fearing the cry would escape then rolled over lower to her neck and her unsteady fingers buried themselves into a hiding under her treses. She swallowed hard cause her throat felt painfully parched, then slowly and finally raised her eyes.
It amazed her, how every other pair in the room was, away from her, riveted... upon him. And he stood, close to her, unshaken by the attention. She could not believe, despite the blank drawn over him, that his mind that moment was as devoid of thoughts as his face was of expressions. And in a snap she wished she could know what he was thinking, as easily as he knew about her, so she could be half as much to him as he always managed to be for her.
"So..." the raging conflict of her mind was disturbed this time by her mother's voice, "He is... adopted...?"
Rahul almost smirked, misplaced as that was for a reaction to this situation. It was reading the hope in those words, her humanly instinct to try and mold the worst into a fancier deal of convenience... like paraphrasing an ill controlled epidemic as fate. He wanted to laugh out loud, a bitter laugh of reality. A mild thought crossed his mind, as he wondered if this chanced question from Muskaan's mother in any way indicated her reluctance to accuse him? In a vague ironical sense he could translate it to her need to defend him. Rahul really did want to laugh out loud, mostly at himself.
"NO!"
It rang through the hall, the loud and clear and impossible to challenge. Compelling him to turn to her once more. Only this time Muskaan Chaddha had donned the other side to herself - the defiant, rebel side. And it seemed it would be no time soon that he had to support her fragility again.
"No," she repeated, "Aditya is NOT adopted. He is... not."
There was a strain in her words, and Rahul realized she was more than slightly angered. And anger it always was that rid her of the rare - except for matters labeled 'Grewal'- lapses into feminine susceptibility. He knew he would have come around to feeling offended eventually himself, perhaps much later when it was him and his muse and some solitude. But her vehement voicing of the matter had in all possibility nipped the chances of that postponed reaction. It had been a while when he had last needed someone to stand up for him, mostly cause he didn't care to be stood up for, Muskaan however was capable of making every exception in his life... he figured.
Although technically, he reminded himself, she was standing up for Adi. He thought of the picture in her wallet, and this. And every exchange he had witnessed between the two of them. And almost shook his head. This was going to be something indeed, competing his own son for a woman he... for THE woman.
"So he was not born out of a real wedlock..."
"You will stay out of this." Meher was stopped mid sentence by Nijal's interruption. As the latter cast a full gaze upon her. The intention was crystal clear as it dared Meher to try and make a scandal out of any of this.
Mentally Meher worked her options. There were too many people. Muskaan was in a mess without her having lifted a finger. And who knew what things would come to if she got herself involved. For now it was Sangeet Pal's doing, good or bad he would face consequences while her job was done anyways.
And she remembered being told 'Nijal' was no 'Muskaan'. She chose to remain quiet ahead from here.
"Rahul is a single dad. Aditya is his son. Seven years old..." Muskaan paused before her last words, "And I have known all of this, all along."
For the first time in the minutes of this drama having ensued, a murmur which gradually became louder than hushed, spread through the guests. Muskaan looked at her parents. Her father was hard to read, although nothing about his look could be termed as a positive reaction. Her mother was harder still. Muskaan sighed then turned to Rahul. Who happened to be looking at her. She held his eye as if to draw her resolve then turned back to her parents.
"I know you don't approve." she said quietly and everyone was listening to her again, "And I don't know how much I care... " She raised her eyes to them, "I just wish... it had been different... between us... " she looked at them wondering why it wasn't... why and what had been so wrong that she really didn't care. And why, there was a deep hidden sense of hurt on this account, anyways.
"Let's go Rahul," she whispered looking away, from them, from him and she walked out of the room. Rahul looked at her parents then at her to follow and catch up.
"I'm sorry," he said distinctly, even if in a low voice, to them, meaning it, before walking out.
"MADDY!" Rahul heard Sangeet Pal's voice loud from the basement behind him and rolled his eyes. Before pulling the 'rumala' off his head and climbing up the steps as he saw Muskaan disappearing around the turn at the top. He heard also some scuffling behind him as he got to the main floor himself and saw her snatching things out of the closet at the entrance. Her own, and his. Rahul took a deep breath then walked to her quickly.
"Muskaan listen I think..."
"You can think in the car when we drive back."
She cut him off handing him his coat without looking at him as she kneeled down to slip on her delicate heels. Her hair fell over her face and she pushed them off roughly, once, and then again clicking her tongue in annoyance at them. He rolled his eyes again. Then having slipped on his coat extended his hand and held them back for her. She looked up at him instantly and her eyes were the heights of all emotions - angry, annoyed and very upset. Her let go of her hair and they slipped back out of order, then tucking them behind her ears gently he asked her,
"You alright?" She inhaled sharply and looked away blinking rapidly he guessed at threatening tears. "Its going to be fine honey," she turned her eyes back to him and he added, "Trust me..." She pursed her lips with a nod little too vigorous and opened her mouth to reply when they were interrupted again.
"Maddy!" Rahul saw the expression on her face switch like the channels on a TV from what it had been to one of utmost temper. And she jerked her head to look up, getting to her feet and standing her full height.
"WHAT?" she yelled at him. Rahul bit his lower lip before standing up himself with a straight face. Which became solemn as he saw her parents walking towards them, behind Sangeet Pal.
"Muskaan you're going to stay back and we will talk this matter out." her father announced.
"And what would it be that we have to talk about now? How wrong I am, have always been and what a wrong guy I have chosen for myself now?"
"We will talk about your marriage," her father continued like he had not been interrupted and she didn't reply only cause his words were so unexpected. "To Sangeet Pal Singh." he finished. And Muskaan wanted to kick herself for that inkling of thought that had almost made way to her mind... of a chance. But of course! She took in a deep breath. Then said with a grim smile.
"You have never understood me. But how far you can misunderstand me I shall never know. Do you truly still believe there is a chance for any such alliance after all this drama?"
"I will still marry you!" Muskaan after a second's pause turned to face Sangeet Pal at this generous declaration. And stared at him for a long moment. He smiled at her, in endearing hope.
"Oh... good... lord..." Rahul worded inaudibly, invisibly only to himself. As he lowered his eyes to his shoes, and looked up only when he heard that sound.
*PUNCH*
She hit him right into his face. Hard, and swift, so unexpectedly that it was a whole second before he actually stumbled and retched in pain. Which was followed by a at least a couple of gasps.
"Always wanted to do that," she hissed at him looking disgusted while the ladies from the occasion who had by then reached the scene rushed and gathered around to help him as his nose became tender and bruised, beginning to bleed. Then brushing off her hands she walked towards the door without another look back.
"You coming?" She shot at Rahul passing him by without waiting for his answer. He gave a last look to everyone, many of whom were suddenly distracted enough to have temporarily suspended him from the status of 'scandal boy'. And surprised momentarily, he found Muskaan's mother looking at him. On an impulse he walked the few steps between them and touched her feet in custom for blessings. When he felt a hand brush over his hair, then withdrawn as her figure retreated, he stood up straight. And walked back to the door, out of it.
"Oh hell!" he murmured reaching the car which Muskaan already had running. Quietly he let himself into the passenger seat and almost hit his head against the window as she suddenly reversed on the long driveway before cutting wide out of it and onto the street lined with cars of the guests; while he was still pulling out the seat belt. Fastening it, he rechecked just the same. He would need it for one, today. It was another two turns down when he burst out laughing.
Muskaan startled for an instant looked at him, then looked back at the road ahead, neither amused nor caring.
"Oh my God!" he managed between his fit, "Oh. My. Damn. God!" he repeated shaking his head and, as Muskaan sneaked a side look to notice him, clutching his sides hard. Which made her wonder. Still recovering from all that had happened however, she continued to drive silent herself.
"His face..." Rahul continued trying to deep breathe so he could stop himself, "His... fa..ce... when you..." And he broke into a fresh bout of laughter.
"Alright! What?"
"When you punched him... you saw his face?" Rahul finally managed to complete his sentence. A second later he was laughing again; Muskaan looked strictly ahead of her, pressing the accelerator down hard, to keep the grin away- in a moment when she had just made a spectacle of her family and life before the whole community, when she ought to have been either infuriated or guilt ridden or a mix of both; in a moment when she wanted instead to just join him in being a riot of laughter.
A cell beeped in between and Rahul fished his own from the pocket, then grabbed her coat from where she had strewn it across the back seat to pull out hers.
"You have a new text." he read it off and looked at her. When she didn't reply he shrugged and opened it for her. Then a moment later he was laughing again as the cell almost fell out of his hands before he held it tight.
"You can share the joke. It was after all meant for me." she said in a wry tone without looking at him.
"Hell of a punch Madz. His face is a sight... " he read off, pausing before lifting the cell up for her with an amiable grin.
"PS: I suggest you let... Grewal drive back. " She finished reading the rest of it. And shot him a sarcastic smile before facing the road ahead. Rahul shut her cell and put it on the dashboard, then leaning back into his seat sat looking at her.
"What?" she said after some silent seconds ticked away, "I'm driving just fine." Rahul shrugged his agreement.
"Wasn't suggesting anything otherwise."
"Then find yourself something better to do than staring at me."
"I'm waiting for you... " when he paused she looked at him in question, "To stop fighting your smile." She rolled her eyes.
"I'm alright." Rahul snorted.
"Of course you are. Its poor Mr. Singh who isn't I guess."
"You can stop mocking me now."
"Why don't you just admit that was the coolest thing you ever did?" He looked at her tongue stuck in his cheek and Muskaan wanted to punch him this time, as well as laugh. She honked instead at a fairly empty road. "Loved it didn't you?" he teased on, his voice soft and conspiring.
Muskaan broke into a grudging grin unable to keep up the sombre appearance, and made a face at his knowing smile. Then rolling her tongue said in a smug voice, "Coolest is right. Dunno what I've loved as much in a long... long time." Her smile relaxed at last, when she gave him one in a quick look before facing ahead. Rahul considered her answer thoughtfully.
"Me?" he suggested.
Muskaan's eyes darted in the quickest 'U' from the road to him then hurriedly back, not that she had to confirm, but he was no longer joking. Of course. The humor was gone, as was the anger, gravity and everything else she had walked out of her parents' house with. Only he remained, and his sudden words.
How the hell did he ALWAYS do this, catch her off guard with the worst of confrontations. Ordering herself mentally to relax was easier said than done, she couldn't just attempt deep breathing now when he sat staring at her? How was she expected to buffer the shock? Shutting her eyes tight momentarily she opened them to look straight ahead only, and grit her teeth.
Rahul missed nothing, including the final fierce concentration she settled for upon the road ahead, like a first timer put to test on an inter state highway. But his own mind unknown to her had wandered even as the gaze lingered, unblinking. Muskaan raced twenty over the limit, beginning to get uncomfortably conscious of the persisting sense of his eyes upon her. A tad bit too hard, she tugged at the curl which fell sideways over her eye and tucked it firmly behind her ear. And inevitably the thought of how he had tucked her hair a little while ago flashed in her mind. She had to remind herself to focus on breathing. Some more seconds passed and when she just knew he was not going to back off she sighed desperately.
And turned to him with a frown. He remained unaffected in a seeming oblivious way, looking back, with absolutely no expression she could read, if any at all. It was a tranquil veil over the hazel resting upon her, something that caused her an inexplicable anxiety. He wasn't reacting to anything she did and he wasn't making his own random remarks either that she could react to... unless he was just bidding time for her to confirm his claim. This only possible conclusion made her fidgety. Then still looking ahead so she wouldn't lose her nerves, she started,
"Rahul..."
"I love you!" A second passed, and another, and yet another until her eyes staring at the road ahead, were no longer focused on it, all she saw was a blur. "I love you Muskaan."
When she heard it twice she knew the whispered words were more than her wishful thinking. Some more seconds ticked before her throat felt dry, she realized her lips were parted upon a breath abated; and sucked onto the air inevitably nervous, if that was even the correct word here. Then, involuntarily her head turned towards him. She knew it had when she met his eyes. She sought to know what lay beneath the seeming unperturbed exterior, and whether or not and how if she could fathom something of that which may connect to make sense with the words she was really beginning to believe he had spoken.
"I love you." he said what something in the back of her mind recorded as the third time. Firm, low and expressionless. Not a smile, not a frown, nothing. His face was blank, his words simply stated. Almost as if in self admission, since his eyes upon her had a faraway look.
*HONK*
The loud harsh interruption startled her as in the first reflex her eyes went to the rear view and she realized having forgotten that she controlled the wheel in the past few moments slowing them down far below the limit of her lane. Turning on the indicator, she gripped the steering in an attempt to get a grip on herself, swerving it off to slower lanes. For her pulse was racing and she was certain it was her heart that was causing a deep set furious thudding inside; keeping up on a fast lane was demanding too much of her strained nerves. She took in a deep breath, even as her lips quivered involuntarily in the process.
"Pull it over," he told her and she obeyed slowing down further still and cutting more lanes till she was on the rightmost. Glad she was the one driving as it gave her something to do with her freaky limbs. They closed in to the exit and she just turned off to the dirt path when she felt his hand over her wrist.
"Rahul..." she managed only to realize no sound had escaped her lips even as the name had, turning off the engine she repeated in what still remained a bare whisper. "Rahul ..!"
"Do you?" He waited with a brief pause before speaking again, "Don't you?"
A thousand thoughts raced through her mind at the formalizing of those words from him out loud. From that first time they had clashed to the rather unabashed kiss at the mall, to the time they had shared their first sane conversation, concerning Adi... The poster of Adi and him in his bedroom and her feeling of being drawn to it, the night in his family room the drunken confessions and the intimacy shared... Even as she shivered slightly, her thoughts did not pause... She thought of the dilemma her emotions had caused, of how maintaining a distance between them had been a resolve easily broken, of how he despite her fears had made being with him so easy, of how even disagreements with him had ever seemed only natural... of how without any prior planning they were always in a mess together, blaming each other for it, ending up defending each other against everyone else anyways... of how it had taken her all this while and it had been only yesterday that she had realized...
"I do..." she whispered then looked at him. His eyes scanned her face and went back to meet her own.
"Tell me Muskaan... " he urged her, then cupped her face through her curls falling to the sides, "Please... "
"I love you!" she whispered her eyes brimming from the effort of not blinking, and from the sudden exhaustion that fell over her at those words. As she realized how much she had held back in not saying them. Her fourth magic phrase. He shocked her next as he threw his head back and laughed, a slow frown, confused and uncertain made its way to her face.
"Rahul... what... " she said unable to make sense as he shook his head at her pursing his lips. His smile reached the twinkle of his eyes and Muskaan felt really lost.
"Love you too baby," he said through another laugh and when he pulled her into a sudden hug she felt a warmth rush through ever vein in her system. And a seeping relief except...
"What's so funny?" she whispered in his embrace.
"I don't know..." he whispered back cuddling her closer, possessively, gently caressing her hair. "I didn't think I'd ever know this moment with you... I just feel... kinda high... I guess." And he dropped a soft kiss on top of her head. Muskaan smiled against his neck. Then sighed happily herself. Several seconds passed by until she pulled out the hug on an impulsive thought.
"Why didn't say you love me yesterday... All that time I thought it was just me... " She stopped short frowning and Rahul raised his eyes at her.
"Just you..." he whispered, then lifting her face to his he kissed on her softly her lips. Then spoke against them, "Why didn't you?" She was mesmerized for a moment before puling away and retorting.
"Because. You have to be the one to say it. And if I had any wish to marry a sissy I wouldn't have punched the perfect one I know."
"Whoa! Lets get this straight," Rahul said with a sudden serious look sitting back up straight in his seat. "Marry? Whenever did I mention anything about that?" Muskaan flushed turning red at having made the big proposal she had just told him he had to... then the embarrassment kept going as seconds passed and she saw his face remain serious, unaltered.
"But... I mean... I thought... " She stopped when he doubled up in laughter again. "You JERK!" She yelled at him him and smacked his shoulder, missing the jaw barely as he backed slightly, laughing harder. Then she threw a random line of blows at him hitting whatever her fist caught, calling him names.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
The two of them nearly jumped apart at the unexpected interruption; when Muskaan turned to her window and found a cop she couldn't think of another moment she had wished to vanish into the thin air. Her mind told her to roll down the window and talk to the guy, but her body refused to obey, refused to move at all.
"Muskaan!" Rahul said through his teeth bending over her to do the required instead.
"Is everything alright... Miss...?"
It took Rahul only another second to realize the cop was as baffled, AND embarrassed as they were, perhaps much more. He couldn't be blamed. Here they had been, two adults, sane to look at, pulled over on a dirt road resorting to seeming physical violence. Hastily he ran a hand through his disheveled hair. And tried to keep a straight face wondering what the officer was going to make of this.
"We... we're fine," Muskaan replied finding her tongue somehow, as Rahul bit his own from screaming out loud as her nails dug into his wrist. Either it was a reflection of the pain on his face, or the whole big picture of catching a woman hitting a man, the officer looking significantly suspicious glanced over to Rahul and asked again.
"Are you alright sir?" Muskaan suddenly narrowed her eyes at the tone there, and the possible insinuation. Unknowingly, partly offended and unable to retort she dug her nails deeper still. Making Rahul shake his head at himself from screaming. When he uttered a much in contradiction assurance, he was certain he saw sympathy for himself in the eyes of that cop.
"Yes I am," he said even forced a smile to confirm. Somehow he managed to squeeze the almost numb fingers of his almost dead hand over her grip and as she let go of it abruptly he knew she had not even realized her doing until then.
"Well in that case, I believe you realize this is the highway and you can't just be parked to resolve family issues here."
He said in a curt voice, and a particularly disapproving look at Muskaan. Who wanted to rectify some serious misconceptions this cop had built about her but knew better. She nodded unable to force a smile and mumbled what resembled an apology before turning on the engine and pulling the car back onto the road.
And this time when he broke out laughing she thought the car would lose its balance from the uproar, and glared at him.
"Some kick you got out of this one didn't you?" she said in a cutting voice and he shook his head muffling his laugh.
"Oh man! I think I'm going to die of laughter control arrest today... "
"If you don't we always have other ways." she told with a sweetly sickening smile. And he chuckled.
"Come on! This is how you return my favor after I save you from that cop?"
"Save ME from the cop? Did you by any insane chance just use the word SAVE?" He shrugged impishly and she threw her hands in the air looking at the road ahead.
"From the look of his face you were going to spend the night in jail for physical assault missy! I only had to reaffirm his doubts and... "
"Thank you SO much! Perhaps we should go back and hunt the guy down so he can hear the WHOLE story and put YOU in jail for subjugating me to every form of mental torture possible."
"Aaawww!"
Rahul crooned and although she turned to him with the intention of snapping some more she couldn't. The expression of mischief was adorable, for once she didn't have the heart to. Instead she blew at the curl falling over her eyes, her shoulders dropping and turned back to the road.
Rahul smiled at the sight of her. And decided he had been a fool to not see what she meant to him all this time. He didn't think he had ever known another individual in his life who was capable of evoking such a range of reactions from him. Except... Adi- which was a different case. It was love. Different kind, the one he had for Adi, and the one he had for Muskaan. But together in his life, they finally made the big picture complete. All these years he had lived accepting there was no more space for 'love' in his life, and all that he had he would offer to his son. But...
They had to tell him now, and soon. A sense of anticipation took over his thoughts, not necessarily but for the most higher on hope, as to how he would receive Muskaan in their lives. Intuitively he felt it would be only for the good. Adi's mother, his wife, a home in the real sense of that word and no more lonely years for any of them... and still, the unknown was unpredictably unknown until it happened...
"Rahul... ?" He was brought out of his reverie by her touch upon his shoulder. There was a way her eyes could speak to him... Both when they had been strangers, and when they had tried to be, her eyes gave it all away. Like right now, subtle as it was he saw the hint of concern in them. And smiled.
"I was thinking..." he said covering her hand with his own over the gear stick, "You SUGAR, are the salt in my life!"
"Oh noooo!" She groaned making a face even as he leaned sideways against her and gave her a quick peck on her cheek. And they both inevitably smiled at each other, then at the road ahead.
Apparently, Rahul thought in continuation to his musing, 'love' has its own mind. It doesn't think and wait to be accepted or accomodated into routines. It doesn't barge in as an uncalled intruder either, even if there are moments you really believe thats whats happening; it simply takes the place which had always been reserved for it... love necessitates itself.
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*NOT APPROPRIATELY OCCASIONED BUT THIS VM BY IMANE KINDA FITS THE RM HERE IN LNI... ESP THE LYRICS OF HALO.. ENJOY WATCHING, THANKS IMANE!... *
[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsrPi9ECTHs&feature=PlayList&p=3D9D5A44A5ACD12C&index=12[/YOUTUBE]
ps: alright! last part at last... for all those who complain about my obsession with 23, here's breaking tradition :D
and i know this is delayed for the claim i made, but still, hoping not too much to have lost track as has been so often with this fic...
the last two parts, as in 17 n 18 i wrote disorientedly and deleted some 3 times over... and what came at last is what u read... i have t admit when i started the fic RM were a great thought to me... i lost the trail somewhere in the middle, partly for the show and partly cause of my own delays...still, i have tried to keep them very distinct from what AR as protagonists have ever been in my mind in the other fics...
this was meant to be a much shorter AND a much lighter fic in general, i guess i should give up attempting either of those ideas ever again :D
for all my old readers who kept on with this fic, despite the switch to RM, many hugz...
for the RMians (as ur called) its been great writing for u guys... very motivating and encouraging i can ensure considering how many times i sat with a block believing the story was well lost from what i had thought of it... komzie, imane, rapi... u have been the paradigm definitions of READERS in the patience and persistence with this fic... if i was honest, i think i had far les than any of u did :D thanks a bunch, love you guys a lot!!
lubz, ur persistent, hell yes! the pm had me in splits but i didn't reply since u read my mind... over SPS... my eyes fell out reading that since i had finished writing that bit before i posted part 17 :D nonetheless, hope u enjoy what u already knew :D:D
...n to the one nutter, who losing as much enthu as i did, still pulled along... growing old has that effect wyfy, it makes you senile to the extent that you grumble and still give in :D:D few days and you're older still :D:D muahzz!, i went back to read the opening note and this one was for u... to the extent i had u descend the pages in the reality of the name :D u were , are and will be... my real critic :)
hinz (i know adi is mising.. i did the epi, and havent scrapped it, but i'd die before puting it with this part... its long and drama enough... ) ... oh but, when u read, teme more :D
kiz, kya hua tera vada? wo kasam wo irada??? :D:D kidding, sachi bolri this time, u can easy as chuck the idea :D
kratz... until u n i know when ;)
pps: if this sounds like a tragic farewell note to a project put to rest, ignore me.. moving houses this week, and work doesn't take a break for it... the hectic routine is a instigating my sinus for the worse at odd hours of the day... n night... and well.. i need to quit cribbing.. :D just that!
love ya guys!
njEdited by spln - 16 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
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