Posted:
~ Part 17 ~
previous part on pg 60, just in case!
The main door of the hall opened and she stole a glance at it, a cheat she had been allowing herself periodically over the past one hour, even as it made her feel like a fickle hypocrite, a feeling she could only despise; but one more time it still wasn't him. What possibly could have delayed him so far in the solitude of her office had her wondering. Nothing of course could keep her mind distracted for more than a few moments before it excused itself to thoughts of him. That when she knew better. It was the the reality of his words... they had brewed a slow bittersweet feeling inside her.
Here was a man the kind she had grown to believe did not exist as real men in the real world.
He wasn't tall and dark but he was handsome, with the most amazing pair of hazel eyes; He wasn't that eligible bachelor in town every mother hoped to rope in for her daughter but he was a father to an adorable seven year old boy, a damn good one at that; He wasn't a knight and he had no shinning armor but he was her angel in disguise, like a wish - she never made - come true; He wasn't the guy you could tag as a one woman man but he was willing make his only exception, for her...
Her was she, Muskaan.
She wasn't the girl he had fallen for at first sight, but she was the cause he had fallen the first time they had met, literally; She wasn't the girl he was dating but the one he supposedly was, for the benefit of them 'others'; She wasn't the one he had taken out on a candle light dinner date but she was the one he had bought a week's worth of Taco Bell for; She wasn't the mother of his seven year old but she was his favorite teacher, who wished of herself to be more...
And now that he wished her wish, to give her that chance... to give them that chance... she had refused.
In what state of reasoning and logic she had done it, was what she remained as completely incapable of explaining and justifying as she was of letting it go. It lay coiled like a snake over her heart, the apprehension caused by that one basic admission on his part.
She wasn't the girl he loved but the one he was attracted to. Majorly. The 'object of his affections' as an old English novel would delicately pronounce.
Did it hurt? Yes. Unwittingly she had deep inside believed he did love her, even when she had been far from comprehending this bond they shared, and knowing from him otherwise now hurt, of course.
Still, he had made a confession of his emotions which stood proof to how solemn his stance was. Not to suggest that it was a lack of sincerity on his part she had reservations about, for whatever little or much it was that he felt for her. What she did fear and wished desperately not to was the possibility which remained unspoken of in his entire claim- of him realizing, after she dared to dwell in the hope he was giving her, that she could after all never be the one for him. That it had been a mere situation induced attraction. If he believed he was not in love yet, there was every possibility much as she wanted to think otherwise, that he never would be.
What would she do then? What could she, considering she wasn't likely to, anytime in this life, grudge him even something as grave as not falling back in love with her, considering how far and deep his emotion could and would run had nothing to do, or undo about what lay hidden within her own sinful heart, considering also that the thought of all of this slipping through the tips of her fingers when she was so close to calling it her own was a nightmare she couldn't just wake up to and brush off as a rotten past...
She was certain for all of two things- one that she loved this man, and two that she had no clue how to go about with dealing the mess she had made for herself.
If she was ever going to get anywhere further into this relationship, she would have to agree with what he was proposing. It was true she had nothing to lose right now, nothing that was already hers and could be taken away anyways. Nothing except... Was it possible, more importantly fair or even sane, that she was weighing the immortality of her hope for this dream over the possibility of taking a chance to make it real... simply because the chance could amount to an equal and opposite possibility and shatter thereby, not just the dream but any further reason to hope for the same?
Muskaan sighed heavily, as she was pulled further still into this mire of thoughts. A part of her exhausted by emotions, wanted to simply let go and let him take control, do as he said without waiting upon the consequence. But the demons of fear kept pulling her back... and her mind in its half spot could decide nothing on her behalf. There was no one who could resolve this for her, no one no matter what they said and how much sense they made. It had to come from within- a conviction free of doubts either way. Quietly she resorted in her head, to the only remaining possibility, praying to God for a revelation of sorts, to just this once show her the way. Right or wrong she swore to not concern herself with, for those were terms relative and dependent upon criteria she would set upon herself. If only she had an indication, Muskaan silently promised herself, she would compel herself to follow it without caring for what it lead her to. If only...
"Maddy!"
Muskaan jerked open her eyes to the harsh reality of recognizing that voice. A frown set deep into her pretty features which tensed as a spontaneous reaction to the sight of him.
"What?" she snapped. In her preoccupied state of mind forgetting the usual ritual of correcting his way to address her. Which, Sangeet Pal relished like a cherry on the top.
"Ms. Stark wants to see us. You and me." Muskaan cast a last weary look at the door which relented to show no sign of him, got up and indicated for Sangeet Pal to lead.
"Where's Rahul?"
It was uncanny to even consider that 'this' man could penetrate through her thoughts. She shot him a look devoid of expression nonetheless, expecting that he either elaborate, or better still, shut up. "She might want to see him too," he offered as a feeble excuse. Which she rudely turned down.
"I'll let her decide that, and let her make the summons too."
Pacing her steps as her only means to avoid as much of any unnecessary conversation with him as she could, Muskaan walked past ahead of him. Another day Sangeet would have been at least momentarily put out by her blatant demeanor. Today however, was not another day. He grinned confidently behind her back.
"Ms. Chaddha! Did you take the time to go through the edited update and check if all the corrections you made were incorporated?" Ms. Stark queried the moment they faced her.
"I did."
"Good. You Mr. Singh?"
"Yup."
"It would be best if we managed to start running actual rehearsals from Monday. That would give us two weeks to improvise for any revisions and finalize the whole program with a last week remaining to go through complete dress rehearsals." Muskaan nodded slowly in thought. Ms. Stark either read her mind, or shared the obvious concern. "Has Mr. Grewal completed the drafts for both acts?" She voiced it out loud for convenience.
"He..." Muskaan started only to be interrupted by Sangeet.
"Hasn't. Yet. Right?"
The question was put to her and as Muskaan finally, unavoidably faced him one more time she saw that mirth of a smile rare but typical only of him. The one which provoked her to take a shot at punching him in the face. Rather reluctantly she reminded herself she could not, not right then anyways.
"I don't know," she replied briefly, careful of her words.
"Is he here today?" Muskaan turned back to Ms. Stark at the question. Her mind furiously debating with an answer which would be received with the least amount of questions entailing itself.
"He is. I saw him a while ago." Sangeet Pal replied yet again, out of turn. Muskaan swore mentally. On the outside she simply nodded.
"Oh!" Ms. Stark exclaimed, "That's good then. Let me send someone to call for him and we can figure out the earliest in his convenience that he can ready the scripts."
Muskaan repeated a nod, simply because it was the safest thing to do. For some reason her intuition spelled an impending. In an obvious after thought, she resolved to ascertain Aditya Grewal was not mentioned before this sissy.
"Ms. Chaddha," he cut through her grim musing, sure enough, "Why don't you just call him and see where he is placed at the moment?"
Muskaan did not like how his smile had continued to linger. And why was he suddenly so up and fine about anything that concerned a mention of Rahul, so much that he was actually the one suggesting SHE contacted him? Even as she wondered his smile widened as if specifically for her to read and understand and he added,
"Its rather surprising he isn't already with you..." At this Muskaan sensed an alarm go off. This was very unusual.
"Ms. Chaddha!" She almost jumped although an interruption from Ms. Stark to this conversation should have resulted in something more like relief. "See if you can do that if you have his number I mean..."
"She has to have her boy friend's number!" Sangeet took his big chance. Muskaan froze at his words. In her mind, silently coaxing herself to calm the nerves that were suddenly tense.
"Your boyfriend?" She turned to face her head at the obvious question, struggling to find her tongue.
"I... he..."
"I didn't know you both were dating," Ms. Stark continued and although she had a politely inquisitive smile Muskaan knew exactly what was coming next. "Does Aditya know about this? I mean.. " Sangeet Pal interrupted again.
"Aditya?"
Muskaan thought she would faint from the effort of not hyperventilating at the devastating course of this conversation. Her heart nearly stopped then as a shrill ring pierced through that second of silence which had prevailed and awaited a response from her.
"Excuse me!" Sangeet said silencing the ringtone and walking away, the handset pressed to his ear. Muskaan fought to control her nerves, fearing she would cry from the relief and the stress the situation posed at once.
"I think I ought to have known about this Muskaan. Hes your student," Ms. Stark begun again "And I'm uncertain of how fair that remains in light of the whole picture, mixing work with your personal life in a rather precarious fashion..."
Even though this was professional remark, Muskaan heard the note of personal advice that was intended for her. She wondered further if she had only imagined a poorly concealed disapproval in the voice, after all this was her superior confronting her. And ethically what she implied was only correct.
"Ms. Stark..." she started looking back up to her but was silenced by a gentle hold upon her wrist.
"Mr. Grewal is a good man. But I only hope you know what you're doing," the elder lady completed. "Now make sure we have the scripts turned in by Monday morning." With that she walked away. Leaving Muskaan inevitably shaking, ever so slightly all over her body, her thoughts so dense with this new seeming complication that she failed to notice the keen pair of eyes upon her.
Sangeet Pal, was in a safe distance to have remained unnoticed by the two woman as they exchanged the short dialogue after he walked away, staying nonetheless within the range of an ear shot. Now he smirked. First part of his plan had been successfully executed which had been to create a delicate spot for her at work. Even though he was mildly inclined to curse Ms. Stark's rather congenial acceptance of facts, he knew for Muskaan the topic was far from settled or closed. And as she would now contemplate upon keeping the word quiet around here, still blissfully unaware of how much of the truth he actually knew, he would act upon the second part of his plan, out of her immediate sphere of suspicion. As in regards to his knowledge of Aditya. Grewal's son had proved to be in the true sense his big jackpot. He only had to make sure he encashed it to the last penny of its worth.
****************************
"Yeh."
"And school is going well?"
"It is."
"Did you join Karate again?" The usual questions.
"Tae-Kwon-Do..." Adi corrected. The usual mistakes.
"Same difference Adi." She replied casually as he waited for her to get done with her nails and look up at him.
"Yes I did." he completed. The usual answers.
"Why don't you tell me what's the latest book you're reading?"
"I finished The Adventures of Mr. Pink Whistle two days ago."
She arched a brow in response. Trust books to get that attention from her he couldn't. He had it at any rate now, and Adi grinned in the earnest, without complaining. And begun to repeat.
"The Adventures... "
"I heard you kid." An inkling of doubt prodded his enthusiasm. She hadn't noticed... "Sounds frivolous." He didn't recognize the word, but her tone betrayed her opinion. Tentatively, he spoke up to assure her, his smile insistently hopeful, to bring to her notice what he thought she could only have mistakenly overlooked.
"Miss at school gave it to me... "
"And Rahul approved?"
"And Dad approved."
He never had gotten accustomed to hear her address his father by his first name. He did not know many people who did, and he always wondered if his father was ok with her calling him so. Specially since he had never heard him return her address in kind.
"Yeh? Oh whatever!" Unintentionally, Adi fidgeted with his web cam.
"I liked it... " he said slowly, paused, then simply kept quiet.
He had been on the verge of calling her Mom. But the better part of his mind, despite the wishful denial was beginning to comprehend. She really had remained oblivious... He saw her blow at them, her now gleaming pale pink-silver nails, and when her gaze caught him briefly, over them, he hadn't seen it come. His vanishing hope found a fleeting resolve like an unexpected savior gale for a sinking sail; He smiled for her benefit one more time. And waited.
"Good for you." She said with a quick smile back, tossing the topic and the nail paint away. And his heart sunk with a finality."How do I look?"
Usually, he appreciated being asked for such opinions, they were the closest of personal talks the two of them shared. But today, clad in an elegant shade of steel gray party formals, her carefully worked upon seemingly effortless appearance had him, at a loss for an answer. Her question was meaningless for what it had asked as it stood testimony to what she really had not noticed. It was a bad feeling, something rising up his throat that he wanted to swallow and subdue. And through that commotion inside a compliment which could have been at the tip of his tongue even if for sheer appeasement, never found its way up. Adi found himself wishing for no more of this conversation.
"Aditya?" He looked up at her prompt.
"Nice." Since he couldn't just shut the system on her, he had to get done with this as soon as possible.
"Yeh? Gray is subtle but definite fashion. When you grow up I wish to see only the very classy with you." He looked confused, but the remark went without elaboration as he lost her attention one more time when she glanced at her cell phone. He felt weary and restless at the same time.
"Classy... yes..." she said jabbing some keys of her phone, then looking up she repeated, "Adi, I have plans for the night. I'll talk to you next Saturday?"
It was a question uncharacteristic of being one, with only one option for an answer. It had to be wrong, but he felt almost relieved. And nodded hastily. It would have been tiresome to be enthusiastic when he felt so redundant.
"Yeh, we will." he agreed. "Have fun! Bye..."
Another quick smile, a flick of her hand and a click of the mouse and the screen before him blanked out to a black.
"Mom..." he completed what he had left unsaid a second time. Then letting out a loud sigh he fell back into the leather of his father's study chair, bouncing just so slightly.
And unknowingly, his tongue wandered up to feel the gap between his front teeth. It was a new feeling he wasn't used to yet. It had been pretty cool when his friends marveled the sight of his missing front tooth, the one he had broken only the night before. And he felt the tender gum in that spot for some more seconds. Then sitting up straight in the chair he was thoughtful for a bit before pushing himself out of it with effort and walking out of the room.
********************
Muskaan walked into her office, tossed the handbag away and getting herself out of the heavy flannel and lapels reduced only very little of all that was weighing her down tremendously. She flung the coat over the hanger next to the door and sunk into her chair throwing her head back, closing her eyes upon the ceiling above. Unconsciously she revolved her chair in slow half circles, the continuous motion in the next few minutes eased her tense nerves ends to a comforting dizzyness.
She had not seen Rahul at the rehearsals at all after the conversation with Ms. Stark... more like after her confrontation with him in this same office prior to that. He had been around, she was told by various people, but not once within her sight. She wanted to tell herself it had been a mere coincidence and that he had been occupied with getting things in order, but the feeling that he had intended it so was a gnawing one. She had after all stayed a whole two extra hours in the gym hoping desperately to if nothing else just catch a glimpse of him, long after most people had gone. In fact she was the absolute last one to leave, and still she had no idea when he had come in and when he was gone. So much so, she had not even seen Adi.
Leaning forward with a restlessness she rest her elbows upon the desk and her chin upon the crossed bridge of her fingers. And staring at the plain wall in front of her she looked at absolutely nothing. The whole day with its string of surprises had exhausted her, in addition there was an empty feeling inside. She had only just become cognizant of the love her heart held for this man today, and it already had her in deep throes. Was it always meant to be like this? The attraction turning deeper, the realization of love and then a dejection?
Why was feeling strongly for someone meant to be self demeaning? Or was it just her? He had made her feel special in ways she had neither experienced before not expected. He had understood her like being privy to her soul and by some inexplicable sense of acceptance it felt comforting to her not intrusive. What then was all this despair about? It wasn't like that only time before, so long ago. For one, he had not cheated on her; no, instead he had been exceedingly earnest and always in the clear when she had been anything but that. For another this was real love. At least what she thought love must be like... for her...
Giving the desk a sudden push she gave her chair a backward thrust and sunk herself lower into it again. Why couldn't it be love for him? Why did she have to be the one to feel what he wasn't feeling... yet... and never might.
"I hate this," she told herself, "I. HATE. THIS." she repeated a word at a time forcing herself to agree. Then digging her palms into both her eyes to clear some of the haze which clouded her mind she whispered, miserably, "Why is this happening to me? I hate it with a god damn passion... and I hate YOU..." Pausing she sighed heavily. After several moments she stood up with yet another surge of restless reserves and pushed her way to the empty space of her cabin. And paced stroking her temples with the tips of her fingers.
"Stop Maddy! Stop it. Stop doing this to yourself. Stop letting it happen to yourself. You can stop everything that you wish to. So stop it all." She stopped and stood still, her shoulders sagging as she hung her hands over her hips. And looked wry.
"Yeh. I have to talk to him. But what if he doesn't want to now... ever...?"
As she licked her lower lip her eyes fell on the mantle facing her. And a whole moment later she narrowed her eyes at it. They travelled from the pieces on the mantle to the desk top and back to the shelf. And she pursed her lips thoughtfully. Then moving closer to it she pulled the tripod in front of herself and climbed onto it. Carefully this time, even as she was significantly distracted. She stood staring at the arrangement for several seconds that ticked by, until they had become some couple of minutes.
"I don't understand this guy... I just don't!" she spoke out loud at last, to the only audience in the room- herself. The pieces lay arranged meticulously, even more importantly, in couples. Some of the pairs didn't even make sense. But they were in pairs, everyone of them. In the exact middle was the small frame with a picture of her, smiling. As she stared at it for a few more seconds a stray smile tugged the corner of her mouth. She picked it up and wondered what to make of the whole thing. Still, it looked right there and she put it back shaking her head lightly. Maybe he would talk to her after all.
"Yeh. He will." she decided on his behalf and got herself down to the floor again. Then gathering her belongings from where she had scattered them across her room she readied herself to leave. Right away.
**************************
Rahul sat flipping through the old memories. Not of his own childhood, he had long lost the desire to keep any of them with him. But of Adi's much younger days. That very first time he had held him, when he was under an hour old. His tiny baby fingers barely encircled a single one of Rahul's own and hazel as ever he stared wide eyed at him, almost too curious and alert for what an infant that fresh into the world could be. Most unusually, he was far from crying, seemingly occupied instead with being intrigued and Rahul wondered now, as he had then and did everytime he looked at this snap shot again, of what might have been the exact thought on his baby mind. He rubbed his thumb lightly over the transparent jacket which held the picture safe, inevitably tears threatened.
"Papa!"
Blinking a couple of times, Rahul turned around now to face the boy himself. Adi walked over to him closing in the distance of few steps between them, before standing high on his toes to lean over his shoulder from behind the couch Rahul was sitting upon.
"What are you... doing?" he completed as he saw the album then raised a curious eye at his father. Which made Rahul smile at its concurrence with the picture he had been looking at. Years had passed between then and now but somethings could never change. With an inclined nod of his head Rahul indicated for Adi to come around and sit by him. Adi complied, still looking up to him for some answer.
"I was trying to decide what you may have been thinking right here," Rahul told him pointing to the photo. Adi leaned in to have a look.
"Oh!" he said then suggested in an after thought, "Maybe I was wondering who you are?" Rahul smirked.
"I told you I was Daddy just before the nurse clicked that for us."
"Oh!.." Adi exclaimed again, "Then maybe I didn't understand the word 'Daddy'?" he said with a matter of fact shrug. "I must have been kinda dumb at that age." Rahul broke out laughing and shook his head incredibly at Adi. Who smiled back even as he continued to look curious.
"Dumb?!" Rahul remarked and laughed some more. "Thats a first Aditya 'never modest' Grewal! When did you start accepting your lack of intelligence so easily?"
Adi gave a small smile back before pulling himself closer to Rahul and snuggling against his side. Rahul sensed the gesture when Adi slid his arms lightly around his waist in to a side hug. And engulfed his small frame in return, with a single armed grip. Then fingering his hair off his forehead he said softly,
"Well you know it now, don't you?" Adi nodded his hair brushing against Rahul who in response dropped a gentle kiss on the top of his head. "Thats all that matters then." As they shared a quiet moment Rahul debated upon whether or not it was time to broach the matter he had been meaning to.
"Was Mom already gone when you took the picture?" Rahul stared into his eyes which stared back at him.
"She was sleeping," he replied, "Its tiring to have a baby."
He didn't know why but as he stated the facts, he didn't feel the fear he had earlier in the afternoon, when Adi's behavior had been so unexplained. In fact suddenly, Rahul felt much more at peace than he had all day. Perhaps it was the physical assurance of proximity with his son, or perhaps it was being trusted as his confidante again... after all, Adi was back to asking him simple straight questions, like he always did, without talking in riddles anymore.
"Did she see me later then, when she woke up?"
Rahul gave a single nod. She had not. Maybe she would have but he had been so sure he didn't want her to, that he had, having obtained custody of the baby prior to his birth, forbidden the hospital authorities to allow it, until he moved Adi out of that place the very next day. And just to make sure, for the months preceding Adi's birth had made such a compulsive skeptic out of him, Rahul had stayed up all night keeping the boy within his sight.
"What did she think of me?" Rahul smiled at him to conceal his exact emotion at these words. And after a long pause in which he gathered himself, he replied with the one question which could quell once and for all his deepest fear, if it didn't lead to exact the opposite.
"Do you miss her Adi?"
"I don't know Dad," Adi said with so little thought that it seemed he had already taken his time thinking over it. Then looking up to Rahul he added, "Do you think she ever misses me?" Rahul knew the tables had turned upon him; he had to answer this with either a yes or a no and nothing else. Still, he tried.
"I don't know. Did you ask her? How was the chat today?" With fingers crossed behind his back he waited for Adi to reply. And the latter shrugged.
"It was alright. She had to go for a party." he replied. Rahul waited for him to add more to it, but it looked like that was it. And although he knew it shouldn't be this way, Rahul was almost relieved and far too willing to let the topic go. For now.
"Gives you more time with Daddy." he said pulling Adi into his lap and talking with an expression of considering options. "I was thinking its been a while since we did the live-action-fantasy-hero fight... " he paused to watch the impact of his suggestion as Adi looked up with a definite interest.
"You're serious?" He said incredulously, after a brief pause. Rahul looked away thinking and Adi went on, excited now, "DAD! Please please, do NOT change your mind!"
"Well," he said, still looking in half minds as he lifted Adi off himself and stood up putting the album away. Adi pretended patience as he waited anxiously, not risking to interrupt lest it changed the plan. "I call for Achilles!" Rahul said turning around with a sudden look of triumph. To which Adi groaned making a face.
"Thats cheating Dad! I thought you were still deciding or I would have called first and..."
"Well too bad now anyways. Achilles is all me. You can be Helen if you want..." Adi groaned louder at the tease then with a last glare at Rahul walked out of the room to fetch the trunk of costumes. Rahul's smile turned grim at his disappearing back. And he ran a hand through his hair with a restless sigh.
"Great!" he muttered to himself.
One more time the topic had been put off, because Adi was STILL only a kid, and could STILL be easily bribed. But how long? On the one hand he had carefully kept himself out of Muskaan's sight all evening hoping to not give her any more chances to turn her back on him while he sorted his own mind. On the other now he had successfully evaded a much needed talk with his son yet again... and maybe, this had been the right moment to talk of it too? How long could he keep postponing the real issues at hand hiding behind play rehearsals and fantasy games?
Rahul was beginning to believe he could no longer perceive the difference between right and wrong in all that he was allowing to happen in his life... and all that he wasn't. After all, how hard could it be to take control, and yet, wasn't it proving to be an excruciating task?
"Later Rahul..." he told himself, as he had been doing only too often in these recent weeks gone by.
***********************
Muskaan turned off the headlights before turning the bend to his house. She had surprised herself when she had known, even without the GPS which was guiding her anyways, the exact roads and turns to his house. And she had only been there once. And she had not been in the best of mind or even the best of sanity... She wondered yet again, how, but there it was, the quaint little house different in a row of uniform construction in its own strange ways.
She pulled the car to a stop on the curb just outside his driveway, for some reason not pulling it onto the same. And she sat behind the wheel, as the engine died out, in an absolutely still and silent night.
Why was she here at all? Yes, she had to talk to him, but did that need her to be here? At this hour? What if he was asleep? The lights in the house told a different tale. What if he was busy? Well, what if he wasn't? What if he didn't let her into the house? But what if, as per her resolve, she didn't talk to him today and he decided to never talk to her again?
Quietly Muskaan slipped out of her driver's seat, and with even greater caution she shut the door behind her, locking it manually to avoid the beep. Then taking a deep breath she ran her hands straightening out her coat, pushed her hair neatly and firmly off her face and behind her ears, pulling the cap off and stuffing it into the deep pockets, then rubbing her gloved hands she walked onto the driveway.
Just outside the door however, she turned about. Shaking her head at herself vigorously, in effect messing the hair she had so carefully fixed.
"No no no!" she pleaded in her mind, "I can't do this. I can't go in their... into that room... and face him...? Oh God no!... " She forced herself to deep breathe, and seconds later she could feel only faintly against her nerves the pulse which had throbbed at the sight of the door.
"Alright!... You can, no, you HAVE to do this Maddy. Turn around now and talk to him. Its HIM. Rahul. Just... him." And so turning back around before she could give herself a single extra second of considering her next action, she rung the bell. At its subdued echo inside, she swore mentally, then in an undertone, then a little louder. And spun around turning her back to the door, furiously biting her lower lip, certain she could feel beads of perspiration in this freezing cold.
"Baba ji!" she muttered as she did only in he rarest moments of her life. And before she could utter another word or let another thought cross her mind she heard a voice, other than her own.
"Miss!"
Adi, she thought, fervently. Maybe... just maybe, Rahul was not at home? She didn't know if she wished for it with as much desperation as she wished for exactly the other way around. And turning around she faced the door once more.
******************************
"Hah! Come on Herc! Can't get me down now can you?"
"Wait till I get that heel of yours Da... I mean Achilles!"
"You wish!"
Adi circled Rahul trying to touch the mortal 'heel' which had led to the fall of the mighty Achilles centuries ago, and he found it impossible to get to it, as Rahul wisely fought bent on his knees. Still taller than Adi, and his feet carefully tucked and hidden. Meanwhile Adi had to in addition stay clear of being lashed out at with his father's plastic sword. Whatever was touched, was considered cut and gone as the rules stood.
They had cleared the furniture in the family room pushing it along the walls and so the battle field was open and clear. The background scores had been turned on to create the atmosphere and spirit. Louder above the din however, at that moment they both heard the interrupting door bell.
*RINGGGG*
"Who... " Rahul started craning his neck to the clock on the wall exactly behind him, and frowned at the hour. 9PM... ?
"I'll get it," Adi announced pulling off his head gear as he ran to the door flushed and excited more from the game and a tad bit from the anticipation at an unexpected caller. Rahul meanwhile got to his own feet, sweeping the dismantled family room in a look of resignation. They were in no condition to welcome guests but... With a shrug he pulled off his own helmet and walked towards the door.
"Miss!"
Rahul stopped in his tracks at the exclamation from Adi. And as she turned around their eyes met.
"How did you know where I live?"
Only for a brief moment as Adi's words broke the look and Muskaan looked down to the boy. To find another pair of hazel staring at her. Her lips parted but no words came and she shut her mouth swallowing in as subtle a manner as she could. Rahul was home. And so was Adi. And... how would she talk to him? This had to be the biggest impulsive blunder of her life. A sudden cold whisp of wind made her shiver and as she attempted to speak again, she was cut off this time.
"Move out of her way Adi. Its freezing outside. Please come in... Miss Chaddha." Rahul completed with a straight look at her.
"Oh sorry!" Adi said making way for her. "Are you cold?" he asked her innocently, blissfully oblivious of all else that could be the reason behind such lack of response from his usually chirpy teacher. Muskaan forced herself to face him, it wasn't as hard as facing his father anyways. And shook her head with a light smile.
"I'm alright," she lied, although in answer to his question, it was the truth. She wasn't cold, not enough to be affected anyways. But she wasn't alright.
"Let me get your coat for you," Rahul spoke again extending his hand towards her. The blank look on his face and the flat voice lowered whatever little resolve she had inside. Hastily she peeled off the coat and handed it to him. At least he had not sent her back from the door... or maybe that was just because Adi was present. He was definitely not jumping from joy at seeing her at his doorstep, this given hour. Yes, it had been a bad idea to come.
"I was just..." she stopped when he turned towards the door closet and concentrated on getting her coat a spot. "... passing by..." she completed looking at Adi with another forced smile. Then it suddenly struck her, the change in the room... the costumes...
"What's happening here?" she asked genuinely curious, kneeling down to his level.
"We were at war," Adi said brightly brandishing his costume and accessories as he took a step back so she could see him completely. She raised an eye, impressed.
"Herc huh? Already! Practicing in advance for the play are we here?" She asked him. His enthusiasm was infectious, inevitably she grinned at him.
"You mean I'm going to be Herc for the play?" he asked her expectantly.
"Its an option," she replied, "An option I can see I must consider!"
When Rahul turned back to them he saw Adi hi-five her, as she winked at him. He looked away messing with his hair which were sitting too flat from the helmet he had worn. And successfully the ruffled look returned. What was she doing here, in his house, with his son, in his presence, at this hour, after all that she had thrown at him in her office today?
"Uh... NO!" He looked up at her suddenly raised voice, as did Adi, nearly startled. "Don't do that," she said disapprovingly, pointing to his mouth, "Feeling the gap with your tongue I mean."
"Huh?" Adi frowned, very confused. "You mean..." he started raising his hand to touch the spot with his finger. Instinctively she held his hand back.
"No I said, don't! If you don't want the new tooth to be crooked that is..."
She advised him like an elder and put his hand down firmly. Like a... mother. Rahul felt a sort of constriction rise up his guts. He looked from her to him and back to her. Wordlessly he removed himself from his spot in the room, either unnoticed or simply ignored.
"Oh!" Adi replied after several moments of making some sense of her words as his greater attention went to the obvious implication. "You know I broke a tooth?" He asked uncertain if he was more surprised or pleased. Muskaan snorted with an amiable grin.
"After you went around showing off all day, of course I do!" Her tease put his reserves to rest. Adi flashed a smile at her, a gap in the center of the otherwise well aligned little white milk teeth. Then brushed the back of his hand off the hair falling over his eyes. To which Muskaan turned solemn again. Like father, like son, she mused.
"I wasn't showing off," he replied trying to sound at least partially indignant. Yes, just like his father indeed. She looked at him thoughtfully for a whole moment making him raise an eye at her ever so slightly.
"Miss... ?"
"You're looking me in the eye and claiming you didn't show off? You liar!" She rolled eyes at him punching him playfully on his shoulder.
"He's your student..." she heard in response, the flat monotone before Adi could speak up, "I'm afraid, becoming more and more like you..."
Rahul completed, the intention of his words distinct, as he reappeared, and Muskaan recalled both his presence and her purpose of visit. An awkward moment descended the room. Rahul looked straight at Muskaan who lowered her eyes in reaction and Adi, looking from one to the other, found his smile falter in mere lack of understanding.
"Papa..."
"Enough Adi! Off to bed..."
"But the game..."
"NOW!"
"Its just..."
"To the count of ten."
"But Miss..."
"Count of five unless you want to go and stand in the pantry alone for the rest of the night." Rahul closed the argument with a word of finality.
Adi opened his mouth to speak more, then saw his father raise an eye in warning. He knew when his father meant business and right now he did. He also knew detention for a night in the dark pantry was a dead serious threat he was rarely subjected to and he didn't have to find reasons to get himself into it. Turning his back upon his father hence, he faced Muskaan and smiled little in courtesy.
"Good night Miss. I'll see you... on Monday." Muskaan nodded, almost too vigorously fighting the urge to either hug the boy tight or yell at Rahul or both at once. Instead she forced herself to greet him back.
"Good night... Adi!" And fixing the hair he had unsuccessfully attempted to minutes ago, she smiled only for his sake. Rahul clenched his teeth looking sideways to anything but the sight of them.
Adi trudged towards his father giving him a last soulful look, as Rahul continued to ignore, before dragging his feet laboriously to the bedroom on the floor above.
"And change out of that costume!" he ordered from behind. Muskaan noticed his own was gone as he stood in an easy pair of slacks and a hoodie on top.
"Night Dad..." they both heard as he spoke out, his volume loud but the note low, before the light of the room flickered off into a darkness.
"Sweet dreams," Rahul muttered in a wry tone more to himself his eyes lingering at the door of the bedroom buying some extra seconds to compose his mental battle. Muskaan however had a different idea.
"You're mad at me..." she asked in a matter of fact tone as one would employ in stating facts. At which Rahul turned back to her, cause he had to. And looked at her a long moment before deciding to walk away into the kitchen. "Fine. Bad question." she muttered following him closely behind.
"Coffee?"
He turned around abruptly with the question causing her to crash into his frame. Almost. She inhaled sharply and stepped back, several steps before looking up into his eyes, hating the intimidated feeling inside. His gaze of steel improved nothing and she just had to look away. And her eyes fell, as if out of convenience, upon a bottle of Tylenol. She became aware only then of the strain that was beginning to become rather painful around the edges of her temples.
"No coffee thanks," she replied slowly as Rahul turned his back upon her to return one of the two mugs he had extracted from the cupboard earlier. "But can I get..."
"There's no alcohol in the house." he replied rather impolitely, cutting her off. Muskaan frowned a second after she comprehended his words.
"I was going to ask for water," she told him grabbing the Tylenol and moving to the sink. She washed down a couple of pills with a hand full of water before turning around to face him. And because he looked neither affected nor apologetic in the least she finally forgot all other crowding worries and inhibitions to simply glare at him. "When did I give you the permission to keep a tab on my liquor consumption anyways?"
Rahul was not any closer to submitting into guilt or anger or anything that was family to that set of emotions.
"I don't need your permission. This is MY house." he informed her. Then at the rapid change of expression in her eyes the guilt despite his inexplicable anger and resistance for her did hit him somewhere in the pit of his stomach. And he knew he had gone a little too far.
"You know what," she managed hoarsely, and he was unsure if there was a shiver in her voice from temper or emotion, "You're right. This is YOUR house, and I have no business to be here." Shoving past him hastily before she could be overpowered by her own tumult she grabbed her handbag off the couch and reached the door before he knew.
"Muskaan!" he called out from behind her disappearing form out of his house. God! There was no way to understand why and how this woman managed to bring out the absolute worst in him, ALWAYS! Still, if he had been unreasonable there was no way he could escape by simply blaming her for it. He rushed to follow her before she was gone for good.
"Muskaan...!" He exhaled catching up and coming to stand facing her straight. A barrier between the driver's door to her car and herself. She swallowed hard as her eyes stung from brimming tears and fished into her handbag more furiously, feeling for the damn keys. She almost dropped the entire huge thing as he tugged at the curve of her elbow with more force than was needed and pulled her back towards the house.
She remembered to protest only at the sight of the inside of the house when he threw the door open. HIS house, she reminded herself mentally. And jerked her arm out of his grip.
"Listen to me!" he commanded cupping her shoulders into a firm grip so that she had no option but to concede. "Listen..." he repeated in a much lower whisper, "I'm sorry. Tell me why you're here." She wanted to use those last words against him still, blame him of imposing a favor upon her by letting her back into his house, but look in his eyes stopped her. The intense, solemn, look of concern. Several quiet seconds passed between them but he knew she would reply when he felt the muscles of her shoulders relax beneath his hold.
"Tell me honey..." he urged her raising one hand to pat her cheek lightly. Muskaan sighed deeply.
"Ms. Stark... she... " Muskaan started, and both remained unconscious of his fingers tucking her curl behind her ear, as another cold wave blowing over the house and Muskaan shivered one more time.
"Come inside," Rahul commanded tugging at her arm and removing his frame blocking the door. She took only a couple of steps, making possible only to shut the door behind her and changing her mind meanwhile she went on,
"Ms. Stark wants the script drafts completed by Monday." Rahul frowned at her, looking closely. Then spoke after a silent pause.
"I know that." When she looked up at him surprised he shrugged and explained, "She told me when I went to meet her so she knew I was around today."
"Oh..." Muskaan said.
"Now tell me what you came for."
"I... thats all... I mean... I thought you didn't... "
"Are you by any chance trying to sell me the idea thats all you had to tell me? At 9PM, in person, when there are a dozen other ways of letting me know... Of course telling me the same at the path tomorrow would have been rather delayed, eh?"
Muskaan blinked at him once, then lowered her eyes.
"She knows about us," He frowned at her quiet words.
"Who?"
"Ms. Stark."
"Knows what?"
"About us." she repeated with a look of being obvious. "That we're... I mean... Sangeet Pal told her we're seeing each other." She fiddled with her fingernails and looked up only when he remained quiet.
"So?"
"SO?!" she asked him wide eyed, disbelieving. "So she knows! About us. And now its a pretty picture. Aditya Grewal, the son of my current boyfriend, is a student in my class, who's responsibility I was finally handed after much initial confusion between his father and me, who also happens to be my publicly claimed beau. And she , 'my boss' was never informed about any of these intricate 'personal' details... since WE ARE NOT EVEN ACTUALLY DATING...!" She was forced to silence as he cupped her mouth urgently at the sudden pitch of her voice.
"Shush!" Rahul whispered, his head turning by default to the door of his room upstairs. And both of them stood still listening for any tell tale noise. When none came, and several seconds passed Rahul felt her lips quiver under his hand; Muskaan pulled it off her mouth and backed off slightly.
"I forgot," she whispered before looking back at him. He appeared to be in thought.
"So she wants Adi out of your class now?"
"No! I mean... its not ethically correct but there isn't a rule for it. And shes... she thinks of me as a responsible person." Rahul noticed a bitter edge in her last words.
"So what's the problem then?" Muskaan gave him a weird look. Then ran a hand through her lose bangs.
"Isn't it problem enough that she thinks we're dating when we're not?"
"Will she mention it to Adi?"
"Adi?" she paused, "Oh Adi! I don't know... She could... I mean Rahul!" she said throwing her hands in exasperration, "She has the facts wrong. And that is wrong enough."
"Well as long as its just her..."
"She is my boss..."
"Correct! A boss who thinks well of you..."
"Which she wont anymore cause..."
"Cause you're dating me?" Rahul shook his head at her. "Then you must mean she thinks I'm a bad guy." he stated folding his arms across his chest conclusively.
"No... she doesn't..."
"Then what's the problem? People date people all the time. Besides," he said looking her in the eye, "What if we WERE dating?"
"But we are not..." Rahul raised an eye at this, a challenging eye she couldn't hold back with her own, even though she was right and he was not. Instead she shut her eyes and sighed sharply.
"Never mind!" she said in a tired voice. "I should have never come. I just... thought..." and she left it that shaking her head. Rahul moved forward towards her and tenderly gripped her shoulders.
"Muskaan..." he said, seeking her attention, "Look! We should make sure she doesn't mention it to Adi. And then thats fine. She doesn't want your personal matters to interfere with your work and they wont. Other than that whatever she thinks or knows should not bother you so much." As she looked into his eyes he urged her silently to understand and agree. Muskaan sighed.
"It is already interfering with my work, this so called personal matter, and I'm getting tired of handling the web of lies... it keeps getting worse."
"Which was exactly why I told you we should talk to your family." Muskaan pulled back sharply at this.
"Where does my family come into picture again?" As Rahul opened his mouth to reply she cut him off, "There is enough mess already without dragging them into this."
"But they are already a part of it."
"They don't need to know anything other than what they do. Anyways..." she paused looking away, "They will never understand."
"Not if you don't try to explain..."
"Even if I do!" she stated looking back determined. "Leave them out of this. You have no idea what my family is like and exactly how unreasonable they can get. I would have never wanted my work to get meddled with any of my personal mess and now... " she left it at that again.
"What do you want me do?"
Rahul asked her simply. And she looked at him thinking. What did she want him to do? She had no idea. Why had she come to him in the first place then? She didn't know... but he always had a solution... and she had hoped he would know what to do as usual. But what would he do, what would he fix, and what was there to be fixed? Everything... and yet nothing that he could fix. She suddenly empathized with his predicament more than ever before. She had put him to spot, expected him to resolve all her problems, and never let him do it any way he thought right. How fair was that...
"Nothing," she whispered without looking at him as her mind felt overwrought, "Nothing at all." Then looking up at him she said, "I should leave. I'm sorry. I don't know why I came here..." saying so before he had a chance to react she turned around to open the door and walked out of the house. Instantly the biting cold hit her, but instead of its usual impact, she thought it felt refreshing in a strange way. Like a splash of ice cold water to wake up from a deep slumber. She hurried to her car.
This time Rahul stood at the door and watched her bring the engine to life, cut a reverse and drive away, out of the neighbourhood. And he sighed deeply. She was without a doubt a difficult woman to understand... but perhaps it was much more the complication of the situation between and around them that was difficult... rather impossible. He knew she was stressed with everything that was happening, hell he knew it so well he was in the middle of it himself with her. But he wished he had been able to relieve her of some pressure since she had come... to him.
A faint smile appeared of its own accord. He was disappointed with himself to have disappointed her, even though he had no idea what he could have done instead. Perhaps just heard her out without barging in with his frank advice which he could impart another day... Still! She had come to him, to his house just to talk out what was troubling her. The thought of it was a comfort and a guilt at the same time.
Rahul shut the door. Leaned his forehead against its now cold surface for a bit, it was a refreshing cool. Seconds later he straightened himself and turned to fix the room back to shape before he could retire for the night. Just in case he stood a chance to get some sleep, he was certain it could do him wonders before another long day ahead tomorrow. As he tidied the place Rahul's eyes fell on her coat which had remained left behind. A moment later, he stepped to the closet, then searched the pockets impulsively and found, other than randomly stuffed receipts and a woolen cap, a smart ladies wallet inside.
"Jeez!" he murmured, thinking of the cold outside. "The crazy girl..." Forgetting the rest of rearrangements in the room he looked around for his cell. Finding which he quickly dialled her number. When it rang a whole length and went to the voicemail he was at least partly not surprised at all. Scratching his head he waited for the beep, then spoke into the set.
"Muskaan! Rahul here. I just realized you left your coat behind, with your wallet in it. I hope you have enough gas to last you all the way back home, if not, call me back and I'll keep the house open until you come and fetch your stuff... Actually call me back anyways, just so I know you got back fine... and... um... oh yeh, since we both forgot to decide, lets meet up at the school gates like last time before the path tomorrow? If you don't want to drive I can pick you up from your place and drive back... I mean its Sunday not much traffic... I don't really care, leme know whichever way... And erm... yeh, well I hope you don't get too cold its not the best weather. Yeh!... so... call me, I'll be up until I hear from you... Take care honey!"
Then ending the call, he plopped into the nearest couch tossing the I-Phone by his side to hear her call, meanwhile he fiddled with the rich maroon wallet in his hand debating whether or not the basic ethics could be trashed this once. Curiosity won some seconds later and he flipped it open. Lose bills, some jingling change, a TON of cards... Gosh! A ton indeed. He flicked through them - Macy's, Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Victoria's Secret - he smirked at this one shaking his head - Borders, Barns & Nobles, I-tunes, Godiva's, Starbucks, Taco Bell - he smirked again- Radio Shack, FMG... FMG? Rahul scanned the card for explanation to the acronym until he saw it - Frequent Movie Goers... seriously?!
All by himself he broke out laughing. She had an 'FMG' card too? It was crazy and adorable at the same time, Rahul stuffed the cards back the grin persistent. In another pocket he found a varied range of toon tatoos, the temporary kinds which kids used. Trust her personal wallet to have stuff like that! Looking through the other slots he found a glossy card with several shades of bronze and brown, turning it around he realized it was a shade check for the range of eye shadows from ULTA. He rolled his eyes, women! He glanced at front side again and saw she had starred a particular shade bar towards the right of the range.
"Hmmm..."
Looking through more as he tilted the wallet to push this card back into its slot something slipped and fell to the floor rug. Another card he thought, at the sight of its plane white back side. When he flipped it between his fingers however, even before he saw it, he knew it was a photograph. Turning it around, he couldn't help but stare at it for several long moments.
There it was, that pair of hazel eyes staring back it him, just like his own. It was a picture of her student, his son... Aditya Grewal.
**************************
ps: i know people, horribly terribly delayed... but this is the second last part to the fic... and the last one is almost done... just some random changes or polishing...
wil post it later sometime today! meanwhile, would totally love to know what you thought of this part after and despite the HUGE gap! hoping to see some feedbacks before i post the next bit in some hours from now...
pps: achilles was the greek warrior who was immortal until his heel was attacked, his only mortal point! an interesting legend to read about, if you would care... Herc here is simply a reference to Hercules i mentioned some parts before :)
@nij n kratz ... finally, tomorrow comes :)
@hinz n kiz... i'm going to see you both, only at the end of this thing now :D
@rapi... :) somehow i guess i will manage within this week :D but pray, where are you off to?
thats it! enjoy reading, ill be back soon!
previous part on pg 60, just in case!
The main door of the hall opened and she stole a glance at it, a cheat she had been allowing herself periodically over the past one hour, even as it made her feel like a fickle hypocrite, a feeling she could only despise; but one more time it still wasn't him. What possibly could have delayed him so far in the solitude of her office had her wondering. Nothing of course could keep her mind distracted for more than a few moments before it excused itself to thoughts of him. That when she knew better. It was the the reality of his words... they had brewed a slow bittersweet feeling inside her.
Here was a man the kind she had grown to believe did not exist as real men in the real world.
He wasn't tall and dark but he was handsome, with the most amazing pair of hazel eyes; He wasn't that eligible bachelor in town every mother hoped to rope in for her daughter but he was a father to an adorable seven year old boy, a damn good one at that; He wasn't a knight and he had no shinning armor but he was her angel in disguise, like a wish - she never made - come true; He wasn't the guy you could tag as a one woman man but he was willing make his only exception, for her...
Her was she, Muskaan.
She wasn't the girl he had fallen for at first sight, but she was the cause he had fallen the first time they had met, literally; She wasn't the girl he was dating but the one he supposedly was, for the benefit of them 'others'; She wasn't the one he had taken out on a candle light dinner date but she was the one he had bought a week's worth of Taco Bell for; She wasn't the mother of his seven year old but she was his favorite teacher, who wished of herself to be more...
And now that he wished her wish, to give her that chance... to give them that chance... she had refused.
In what state of reasoning and logic she had done it, was what she remained as completely incapable of explaining and justifying as she was of letting it go. It lay coiled like a snake over her heart, the apprehension caused by that one basic admission on his part.
She wasn't the girl he loved but the one he was attracted to. Majorly. The 'object of his affections' as an old English novel would delicately pronounce.
Did it hurt? Yes. Unwittingly she had deep inside believed he did love her, even when she had been far from comprehending this bond they shared, and knowing from him otherwise now hurt, of course.
Still, he had made a confession of his emotions which stood proof to how solemn his stance was. Not to suggest that it was a lack of sincerity on his part she had reservations about, for whatever little or much it was that he felt for her. What she did fear and wished desperately not to was the possibility which remained unspoken of in his entire claim- of him realizing, after she dared to dwell in the hope he was giving her, that she could after all never be the one for him. That it had been a mere situation induced attraction. If he believed he was not in love yet, there was every possibility much as she wanted to think otherwise, that he never would be.
What would she do then? What could she, considering she wasn't likely to, anytime in this life, grudge him even something as grave as not falling back in love with her, considering how far and deep his emotion could and would run had nothing to do, or undo about what lay hidden within her own sinful heart, considering also that the thought of all of this slipping through the tips of her fingers when she was so close to calling it her own was a nightmare she couldn't just wake up to and brush off as a rotten past...
She was certain for all of two things- one that she loved this man, and two that she had no clue how to go about with dealing the mess she had made for herself.
If she was ever going to get anywhere further into this relationship, she would have to agree with what he was proposing. It was true she had nothing to lose right now, nothing that was already hers and could be taken away anyways. Nothing except... Was it possible, more importantly fair or even sane, that she was weighing the immortality of her hope for this dream over the possibility of taking a chance to make it real... simply because the chance could amount to an equal and opposite possibility and shatter thereby, not just the dream but any further reason to hope for the same?
Muskaan sighed heavily, as she was pulled further still into this mire of thoughts. A part of her exhausted by emotions, wanted to simply let go and let him take control, do as he said without waiting upon the consequence. But the demons of fear kept pulling her back... and her mind in its half spot could decide nothing on her behalf. There was no one who could resolve this for her, no one no matter what they said and how much sense they made. It had to come from within- a conviction free of doubts either way. Quietly she resorted in her head, to the only remaining possibility, praying to God for a revelation of sorts, to just this once show her the way. Right or wrong she swore to not concern herself with, for those were terms relative and dependent upon criteria she would set upon herself. If only she had an indication, Muskaan silently promised herself, she would compel herself to follow it without caring for what it lead her to. If only...
"Maddy!"
Muskaan jerked open her eyes to the harsh reality of recognizing that voice. A frown set deep into her pretty features which tensed as a spontaneous reaction to the sight of him.
"What?" she snapped. In her preoccupied state of mind forgetting the usual ritual of correcting his way to address her. Which, Sangeet Pal relished like a cherry on the top.
"Ms. Stark wants to see us. You and me." Muskaan cast a last weary look at the door which relented to show no sign of him, got up and indicated for Sangeet Pal to lead.
"Where's Rahul?"
It was uncanny to even consider that 'this' man could penetrate through her thoughts. She shot him a look devoid of expression nonetheless, expecting that he either elaborate, or better still, shut up. "She might want to see him too," he offered as a feeble excuse. Which she rudely turned down.
"I'll let her decide that, and let her make the summons too."
Pacing her steps as her only means to avoid as much of any unnecessary conversation with him as she could, Muskaan walked past ahead of him. Another day Sangeet would have been at least momentarily put out by her blatant demeanor. Today however, was not another day. He grinned confidently behind her back.
"Ms. Chaddha! Did you take the time to go through the edited update and check if all the corrections you made were incorporated?" Ms. Stark queried the moment they faced her.
"I did."
"Good. You Mr. Singh?"
"Yup."
"It would be best if we managed to start running actual rehearsals from Monday. That would give us two weeks to improvise for any revisions and finalize the whole program with a last week remaining to go through complete dress rehearsals." Muskaan nodded slowly in thought. Ms. Stark either read her mind, or shared the obvious concern. "Has Mr. Grewal completed the drafts for both acts?" She voiced it out loud for convenience.
"He..." Muskaan started only to be interrupted by Sangeet.
"Hasn't. Yet. Right?"
The question was put to her and as Muskaan finally, unavoidably faced him one more time she saw that mirth of a smile rare but typical only of him. The one which provoked her to take a shot at punching him in the face. Rather reluctantly she reminded herself she could not, not right then anyways.
"I don't know," she replied briefly, careful of her words.
"Is he here today?" Muskaan turned back to Ms. Stark at the question. Her mind furiously debating with an answer which would be received with the least amount of questions entailing itself.
"He is. I saw him a while ago." Sangeet Pal replied yet again, out of turn. Muskaan swore mentally. On the outside she simply nodded.
"Oh!" Ms. Stark exclaimed, "That's good then. Let me send someone to call for him and we can figure out the earliest in his convenience that he can ready the scripts."
Muskaan repeated a nod, simply because it was the safest thing to do. For some reason her intuition spelled an impending. In an obvious after thought, she resolved to ascertain Aditya Grewal was not mentioned before this sissy.
"Ms. Chaddha," he cut through her grim musing, sure enough, "Why don't you just call him and see where he is placed at the moment?"
Muskaan did not like how his smile had continued to linger. And why was he suddenly so up and fine about anything that concerned a mention of Rahul, so much that he was actually the one suggesting SHE contacted him? Even as she wondered his smile widened as if specifically for her to read and understand and he added,
"Its rather surprising he isn't already with you..." At this Muskaan sensed an alarm go off. This was very unusual.
"Ms. Chaddha!" She almost jumped although an interruption from Ms. Stark to this conversation should have resulted in something more like relief. "See if you can do that if you have his number I mean..."
"She has to have her boy friend's number!" Sangeet took his big chance. Muskaan froze at his words. In her mind, silently coaxing herself to calm the nerves that were suddenly tense.
"Your boyfriend?" She turned to face her head at the obvious question, struggling to find her tongue.
"I... he..."
"I didn't know you both were dating," Ms. Stark continued and although she had a politely inquisitive smile Muskaan knew exactly what was coming next. "Does Aditya know about this? I mean.. " Sangeet Pal interrupted again.
"Aditya?"
Muskaan thought she would faint from the effort of not hyperventilating at the devastating course of this conversation. Her heart nearly stopped then as a shrill ring pierced through that second of silence which had prevailed and awaited a response from her.
"Excuse me!" Sangeet said silencing the ringtone and walking away, the handset pressed to his ear. Muskaan fought to control her nerves, fearing she would cry from the relief and the stress the situation posed at once.
"I think I ought to have known about this Muskaan. Hes your student," Ms. Stark begun again "And I'm uncertain of how fair that remains in light of the whole picture, mixing work with your personal life in a rather precarious fashion..."
Even though this was professional remark, Muskaan heard the note of personal advice that was intended for her. She wondered further if she had only imagined a poorly concealed disapproval in the voice, after all this was her superior confronting her. And ethically what she implied was only correct.
"Ms. Stark..." she started looking back up to her but was silenced by a gentle hold upon her wrist.
"Mr. Grewal is a good man. But I only hope you know what you're doing," the elder lady completed. "Now make sure we have the scripts turned in by Monday morning." With that she walked away. Leaving Muskaan inevitably shaking, ever so slightly all over her body, her thoughts so dense with this new seeming complication that she failed to notice the keen pair of eyes upon her.
Sangeet Pal, was in a safe distance to have remained unnoticed by the two woman as they exchanged the short dialogue after he walked away, staying nonetheless within the range of an ear shot. Now he smirked. First part of his plan had been successfully executed which had been to create a delicate spot for her at work. Even though he was mildly inclined to curse Ms. Stark's rather congenial acceptance of facts, he knew for Muskaan the topic was far from settled or closed. And as she would now contemplate upon keeping the word quiet around here, still blissfully unaware of how much of the truth he actually knew, he would act upon the second part of his plan, out of her immediate sphere of suspicion. As in regards to his knowledge of Aditya. Grewal's son had proved to be in the true sense his big jackpot. He only had to make sure he encashed it to the last penny of its worth.
****************************
"Yeh."
"And school is going well?"
"It is."
"Did you join Karate again?" The usual questions.
"Tae-Kwon-Do..." Adi corrected. The usual mistakes.
"Same difference Adi." She replied casually as he waited for her to get done with her nails and look up at him.
"Yes I did." he completed. The usual answers.
"Why don't you tell me what's the latest book you're reading?"
"I finished The Adventures of Mr. Pink Whistle two days ago."
She arched a brow in response. Trust books to get that attention from her he couldn't. He had it at any rate now, and Adi grinned in the earnest, without complaining. And begun to repeat.
"The Adventures... "
"I heard you kid." An inkling of doubt prodded his enthusiasm. She hadn't noticed... "Sounds frivolous." He didn't recognize the word, but her tone betrayed her opinion. Tentatively, he spoke up to assure her, his smile insistently hopeful, to bring to her notice what he thought she could only have mistakenly overlooked.
"Miss at school gave it to me... "
"And Rahul approved?"
"And Dad approved."
He never had gotten accustomed to hear her address his father by his first name. He did not know many people who did, and he always wondered if his father was ok with her calling him so. Specially since he had never heard him return her address in kind.
"Yeh? Oh whatever!" Unintentionally, Adi fidgeted with his web cam.
"I liked it... " he said slowly, paused, then simply kept quiet.
He had been on the verge of calling her Mom. But the better part of his mind, despite the wishful denial was beginning to comprehend. She really had remained oblivious... He saw her blow at them, her now gleaming pale pink-silver nails, and when her gaze caught him briefly, over them, he hadn't seen it come. His vanishing hope found a fleeting resolve like an unexpected savior gale for a sinking sail; He smiled for her benefit one more time. And waited.
"Good for you." She said with a quick smile back, tossing the topic and the nail paint away. And his heart sunk with a finality."How do I look?"
Usually, he appreciated being asked for such opinions, they were the closest of personal talks the two of them shared. But today, clad in an elegant shade of steel gray party formals, her carefully worked upon seemingly effortless appearance had him, at a loss for an answer. Her question was meaningless for what it had asked as it stood testimony to what she really had not noticed. It was a bad feeling, something rising up his throat that he wanted to swallow and subdue. And through that commotion inside a compliment which could have been at the tip of his tongue even if for sheer appeasement, never found its way up. Adi found himself wishing for no more of this conversation.
"Aditya?" He looked up at her prompt.
"Nice." Since he couldn't just shut the system on her, he had to get done with this as soon as possible.
"Yeh? Gray is subtle but definite fashion. When you grow up I wish to see only the very classy with you." He looked confused, but the remark went without elaboration as he lost her attention one more time when she glanced at her cell phone. He felt weary and restless at the same time.
"Classy... yes..." she said jabbing some keys of her phone, then looking up she repeated, "Adi, I have plans for the night. I'll talk to you next Saturday?"
It was a question uncharacteristic of being one, with only one option for an answer. It had to be wrong, but he felt almost relieved. And nodded hastily. It would have been tiresome to be enthusiastic when he felt so redundant.
"Yeh, we will." he agreed. "Have fun! Bye..."
Another quick smile, a flick of her hand and a click of the mouse and the screen before him blanked out to a black.
"Mom..." he completed what he had left unsaid a second time. Then letting out a loud sigh he fell back into the leather of his father's study chair, bouncing just so slightly.
And unknowingly, his tongue wandered up to feel the gap between his front teeth. It was a new feeling he wasn't used to yet. It had been pretty cool when his friends marveled the sight of his missing front tooth, the one he had broken only the night before. And he felt the tender gum in that spot for some more seconds. Then sitting up straight in the chair he was thoughtful for a bit before pushing himself out of it with effort and walking out of the room.
********************
Muskaan walked into her office, tossed the handbag away and getting herself out of the heavy flannel and lapels reduced only very little of all that was weighing her down tremendously. She flung the coat over the hanger next to the door and sunk into her chair throwing her head back, closing her eyes upon the ceiling above. Unconsciously she revolved her chair in slow half circles, the continuous motion in the next few minutes eased her tense nerves ends to a comforting dizzyness.
She had not seen Rahul at the rehearsals at all after the conversation with Ms. Stark... more like after her confrontation with him in this same office prior to that. He had been around, she was told by various people, but not once within her sight. She wanted to tell herself it had been a mere coincidence and that he had been occupied with getting things in order, but the feeling that he had intended it so was a gnawing one. She had after all stayed a whole two extra hours in the gym hoping desperately to if nothing else just catch a glimpse of him, long after most people had gone. In fact she was the absolute last one to leave, and still she had no idea when he had come in and when he was gone. So much so, she had not even seen Adi.
Leaning forward with a restlessness she rest her elbows upon the desk and her chin upon the crossed bridge of her fingers. And staring at the plain wall in front of her she looked at absolutely nothing. The whole day with its string of surprises had exhausted her, in addition there was an empty feeling inside. She had only just become cognizant of the love her heart held for this man today, and it already had her in deep throes. Was it always meant to be like this? The attraction turning deeper, the realization of love and then a dejection?
Why was feeling strongly for someone meant to be self demeaning? Or was it just her? He had made her feel special in ways she had neither experienced before not expected. He had understood her like being privy to her soul and by some inexplicable sense of acceptance it felt comforting to her not intrusive. What then was all this despair about? It wasn't like that only time before, so long ago. For one, he had not cheated on her; no, instead he had been exceedingly earnest and always in the clear when she had been anything but that. For another this was real love. At least what she thought love must be like... for her...
Giving the desk a sudden push she gave her chair a backward thrust and sunk herself lower into it again. Why couldn't it be love for him? Why did she have to be the one to feel what he wasn't feeling... yet... and never might.
"I hate this," she told herself, "I. HATE. THIS." she repeated a word at a time forcing herself to agree. Then digging her palms into both her eyes to clear some of the haze which clouded her mind she whispered, miserably, "Why is this happening to me? I hate it with a god damn passion... and I hate YOU..." Pausing she sighed heavily. After several moments she stood up with yet another surge of restless reserves and pushed her way to the empty space of her cabin. And paced stroking her temples with the tips of her fingers.
"Stop Maddy! Stop it. Stop doing this to yourself. Stop letting it happen to yourself. You can stop everything that you wish to. So stop it all." She stopped and stood still, her shoulders sagging as she hung her hands over her hips. And looked wry.
"Yeh. I have to talk to him. But what if he doesn't want to now... ever...?"
As she licked her lower lip her eyes fell on the mantle facing her. And a whole moment later she narrowed her eyes at it. They travelled from the pieces on the mantle to the desk top and back to the shelf. And she pursed her lips thoughtfully. Then moving closer to it she pulled the tripod in front of herself and climbed onto it. Carefully this time, even as she was significantly distracted. She stood staring at the arrangement for several seconds that ticked by, until they had become some couple of minutes.
"I don't understand this guy... I just don't!" she spoke out loud at last, to the only audience in the room- herself. The pieces lay arranged meticulously, even more importantly, in couples. Some of the pairs didn't even make sense. But they were in pairs, everyone of them. In the exact middle was the small frame with a picture of her, smiling. As she stared at it for a few more seconds a stray smile tugged the corner of her mouth. She picked it up and wondered what to make of the whole thing. Still, it looked right there and she put it back shaking her head lightly. Maybe he would talk to her after all.
"Yeh. He will." she decided on his behalf and got herself down to the floor again. Then gathering her belongings from where she had scattered them across her room she readied herself to leave. Right away.
**************************
Rahul sat flipping through the old memories. Not of his own childhood, he had long lost the desire to keep any of them with him. But of Adi's much younger days. That very first time he had held him, when he was under an hour old. His tiny baby fingers barely encircled a single one of Rahul's own and hazel as ever he stared wide eyed at him, almost too curious and alert for what an infant that fresh into the world could be. Most unusually, he was far from crying, seemingly occupied instead with being intrigued and Rahul wondered now, as he had then and did everytime he looked at this snap shot again, of what might have been the exact thought on his baby mind. He rubbed his thumb lightly over the transparent jacket which held the picture safe, inevitably tears threatened.
"Papa!"
Blinking a couple of times, Rahul turned around now to face the boy himself. Adi walked over to him closing in the distance of few steps between them, before standing high on his toes to lean over his shoulder from behind the couch Rahul was sitting upon.
"What are you... doing?" he completed as he saw the album then raised a curious eye at his father. Which made Rahul smile at its concurrence with the picture he had been looking at. Years had passed between then and now but somethings could never change. With an inclined nod of his head Rahul indicated for Adi to come around and sit by him. Adi complied, still looking up to him for some answer.
"I was trying to decide what you may have been thinking right here," Rahul told him pointing to the photo. Adi leaned in to have a look.
"Oh!" he said then suggested in an after thought, "Maybe I was wondering who you are?" Rahul smirked.
"I told you I was Daddy just before the nurse clicked that for us."
"Oh!.." Adi exclaimed again, "Then maybe I didn't understand the word 'Daddy'?" he said with a matter of fact shrug. "I must have been kinda dumb at that age." Rahul broke out laughing and shook his head incredibly at Adi. Who smiled back even as he continued to look curious.
"Dumb?!" Rahul remarked and laughed some more. "Thats a first Aditya 'never modest' Grewal! When did you start accepting your lack of intelligence so easily?"
Adi gave a small smile back before pulling himself closer to Rahul and snuggling against his side. Rahul sensed the gesture when Adi slid his arms lightly around his waist in to a side hug. And engulfed his small frame in return, with a single armed grip. Then fingering his hair off his forehead he said softly,
"Well you know it now, don't you?" Adi nodded his hair brushing against Rahul who in response dropped a gentle kiss on the top of his head. "Thats all that matters then." As they shared a quiet moment Rahul debated upon whether or not it was time to broach the matter he had been meaning to.
"Was Mom already gone when you took the picture?" Rahul stared into his eyes which stared back at him.
"She was sleeping," he replied, "Its tiring to have a baby."
He didn't know why but as he stated the facts, he didn't feel the fear he had earlier in the afternoon, when Adi's behavior had been so unexplained. In fact suddenly, Rahul felt much more at peace than he had all day. Perhaps it was the physical assurance of proximity with his son, or perhaps it was being trusted as his confidante again... after all, Adi was back to asking him simple straight questions, like he always did, without talking in riddles anymore.
"Did she see me later then, when she woke up?"
Rahul gave a single nod. She had not. Maybe she would have but he had been so sure he didn't want her to, that he had, having obtained custody of the baby prior to his birth, forbidden the hospital authorities to allow it, until he moved Adi out of that place the very next day. And just to make sure, for the months preceding Adi's birth had made such a compulsive skeptic out of him, Rahul had stayed up all night keeping the boy within his sight.
"What did she think of me?" Rahul smiled at him to conceal his exact emotion at these words. And after a long pause in which he gathered himself, he replied with the one question which could quell once and for all his deepest fear, if it didn't lead to exact the opposite.
"Do you miss her Adi?"
"I don't know Dad," Adi said with so little thought that it seemed he had already taken his time thinking over it. Then looking up to Rahul he added, "Do you think she ever misses me?" Rahul knew the tables had turned upon him; he had to answer this with either a yes or a no and nothing else. Still, he tried.
"I don't know. Did you ask her? How was the chat today?" With fingers crossed behind his back he waited for Adi to reply. And the latter shrugged.
"It was alright. She had to go for a party." he replied. Rahul waited for him to add more to it, but it looked like that was it. And although he knew it shouldn't be this way, Rahul was almost relieved and far too willing to let the topic go. For now.
"Gives you more time with Daddy." he said pulling Adi into his lap and talking with an expression of considering options. "I was thinking its been a while since we did the live-action-fantasy-hero fight... " he paused to watch the impact of his suggestion as Adi looked up with a definite interest.
"You're serious?" He said incredulously, after a brief pause. Rahul looked away thinking and Adi went on, excited now, "DAD! Please please, do NOT change your mind!"
"Well," he said, still looking in half minds as he lifted Adi off himself and stood up putting the album away. Adi pretended patience as he waited anxiously, not risking to interrupt lest it changed the plan. "I call for Achilles!" Rahul said turning around with a sudden look of triumph. To which Adi groaned making a face.
"Thats cheating Dad! I thought you were still deciding or I would have called first and..."
"Well too bad now anyways. Achilles is all me. You can be Helen if you want..." Adi groaned louder at the tease then with a last glare at Rahul walked out of the room to fetch the trunk of costumes. Rahul's smile turned grim at his disappearing back. And he ran a hand through his hair with a restless sigh.
"Great!" he muttered to himself.
One more time the topic had been put off, because Adi was STILL only a kid, and could STILL be easily bribed. But how long? On the one hand he had carefully kept himself out of Muskaan's sight all evening hoping to not give her any more chances to turn her back on him while he sorted his own mind. On the other now he had successfully evaded a much needed talk with his son yet again... and maybe, this had been the right moment to talk of it too? How long could he keep postponing the real issues at hand hiding behind play rehearsals and fantasy games?
Rahul was beginning to believe he could no longer perceive the difference between right and wrong in all that he was allowing to happen in his life... and all that he wasn't. After all, how hard could it be to take control, and yet, wasn't it proving to be an excruciating task?
"Later Rahul..." he told himself, as he had been doing only too often in these recent weeks gone by.
***********************
Muskaan turned off the headlights before turning the bend to his house. She had surprised herself when she had known, even without the GPS which was guiding her anyways, the exact roads and turns to his house. And she had only been there once. And she had not been in the best of mind or even the best of sanity... She wondered yet again, how, but there it was, the quaint little house different in a row of uniform construction in its own strange ways.
She pulled the car to a stop on the curb just outside his driveway, for some reason not pulling it onto the same. And she sat behind the wheel, as the engine died out, in an absolutely still and silent night.
Why was she here at all? Yes, she had to talk to him, but did that need her to be here? At this hour? What if he was asleep? The lights in the house told a different tale. What if he was busy? Well, what if he wasn't? What if he didn't let her into the house? But what if, as per her resolve, she didn't talk to him today and he decided to never talk to her again?
Quietly Muskaan slipped out of her driver's seat, and with even greater caution she shut the door behind her, locking it manually to avoid the beep. Then taking a deep breath she ran her hands straightening out her coat, pushed her hair neatly and firmly off her face and behind her ears, pulling the cap off and stuffing it into the deep pockets, then rubbing her gloved hands she walked onto the driveway.
Just outside the door however, she turned about. Shaking her head at herself vigorously, in effect messing the hair she had so carefully fixed.
"No no no!" she pleaded in her mind, "I can't do this. I can't go in their... into that room... and face him...? Oh God no!... " She forced herself to deep breathe, and seconds later she could feel only faintly against her nerves the pulse which had throbbed at the sight of the door.
"Alright!... You can, no, you HAVE to do this Maddy. Turn around now and talk to him. Its HIM. Rahul. Just... him." And so turning back around before she could give herself a single extra second of considering her next action, she rung the bell. At its subdued echo inside, she swore mentally, then in an undertone, then a little louder. And spun around turning her back to the door, furiously biting her lower lip, certain she could feel beads of perspiration in this freezing cold.
"Baba ji!" she muttered as she did only in he rarest moments of her life. And before she could utter another word or let another thought cross her mind she heard a voice, other than her own.
"Miss!"
Adi, she thought, fervently. Maybe... just maybe, Rahul was not at home? She didn't know if she wished for it with as much desperation as she wished for exactly the other way around. And turning around she faced the door once more.
******************************
"Hah! Come on Herc! Can't get me down now can you?"
"Wait till I get that heel of yours Da... I mean Achilles!"
"You wish!"
Adi circled Rahul trying to touch the mortal 'heel' which had led to the fall of the mighty Achilles centuries ago, and he found it impossible to get to it, as Rahul wisely fought bent on his knees. Still taller than Adi, and his feet carefully tucked and hidden. Meanwhile Adi had to in addition stay clear of being lashed out at with his father's plastic sword. Whatever was touched, was considered cut and gone as the rules stood.
They had cleared the furniture in the family room pushing it along the walls and so the battle field was open and clear. The background scores had been turned on to create the atmosphere and spirit. Louder above the din however, at that moment they both heard the interrupting door bell.
*RINGGGG*
"Who... " Rahul started craning his neck to the clock on the wall exactly behind him, and frowned at the hour. 9PM... ?
"I'll get it," Adi announced pulling off his head gear as he ran to the door flushed and excited more from the game and a tad bit from the anticipation at an unexpected caller. Rahul meanwhile got to his own feet, sweeping the dismantled family room in a look of resignation. They were in no condition to welcome guests but... With a shrug he pulled off his own helmet and walked towards the door.
"Miss!"
Rahul stopped in his tracks at the exclamation from Adi. And as she turned around their eyes met.
"How did you know where I live?"
Only for a brief moment as Adi's words broke the look and Muskaan looked down to the boy. To find another pair of hazel staring at her. Her lips parted but no words came and she shut her mouth swallowing in as subtle a manner as she could. Rahul was home. And so was Adi. And... how would she talk to him? This had to be the biggest impulsive blunder of her life. A sudden cold whisp of wind made her shiver and as she attempted to speak again, she was cut off this time.
"Move out of her way Adi. Its freezing outside. Please come in... Miss Chaddha." Rahul completed with a straight look at her.
"Oh sorry!" Adi said making way for her. "Are you cold?" he asked her innocently, blissfully oblivious of all else that could be the reason behind such lack of response from his usually chirpy teacher. Muskaan forced herself to face him, it wasn't as hard as facing his father anyways. And shook her head with a light smile.
"I'm alright," she lied, although in answer to his question, it was the truth. She wasn't cold, not enough to be affected anyways. But she wasn't alright.
"Let me get your coat for you," Rahul spoke again extending his hand towards her. The blank look on his face and the flat voice lowered whatever little resolve she had inside. Hastily she peeled off the coat and handed it to him. At least he had not sent her back from the door... or maybe that was just because Adi was present. He was definitely not jumping from joy at seeing her at his doorstep, this given hour. Yes, it had been a bad idea to come.
"I was just..." she stopped when he turned towards the door closet and concentrated on getting her coat a spot. "... passing by..." she completed looking at Adi with another forced smile. Then it suddenly struck her, the change in the room... the costumes...
"What's happening here?" she asked genuinely curious, kneeling down to his level.
"We were at war," Adi said brightly brandishing his costume and accessories as he took a step back so she could see him completely. She raised an eye, impressed.
"Herc huh? Already! Practicing in advance for the play are we here?" She asked him. His enthusiasm was infectious, inevitably she grinned at him.
"You mean I'm going to be Herc for the play?" he asked her expectantly.
"Its an option," she replied, "An option I can see I must consider!"
When Rahul turned back to them he saw Adi hi-five her, as she winked at him. He looked away messing with his hair which were sitting too flat from the helmet he had worn. And successfully the ruffled look returned. What was she doing here, in his house, with his son, in his presence, at this hour, after all that she had thrown at him in her office today?
"Uh... NO!" He looked up at her suddenly raised voice, as did Adi, nearly startled. "Don't do that," she said disapprovingly, pointing to his mouth, "Feeling the gap with your tongue I mean."
"Huh?" Adi frowned, very confused. "You mean..." he started raising his hand to touch the spot with his finger. Instinctively she held his hand back.
"No I said, don't! If you don't want the new tooth to be crooked that is..."
She advised him like an elder and put his hand down firmly. Like a... mother. Rahul felt a sort of constriction rise up his guts. He looked from her to him and back to her. Wordlessly he removed himself from his spot in the room, either unnoticed or simply ignored.
"Oh!" Adi replied after several moments of making some sense of her words as his greater attention went to the obvious implication. "You know I broke a tooth?" He asked uncertain if he was more surprised or pleased. Muskaan snorted with an amiable grin.
"After you went around showing off all day, of course I do!" Her tease put his reserves to rest. Adi flashed a smile at her, a gap in the center of the otherwise well aligned little white milk teeth. Then brushed the back of his hand off the hair falling over his eyes. To which Muskaan turned solemn again. Like father, like son, she mused.
"I wasn't showing off," he replied trying to sound at least partially indignant. Yes, just like his father indeed. She looked at him thoughtfully for a whole moment making him raise an eye at her ever so slightly.
"Miss... ?"
"You're looking me in the eye and claiming you didn't show off? You liar!" She rolled eyes at him punching him playfully on his shoulder.
"He's your student..." she heard in response, the flat monotone before Adi could speak up, "I'm afraid, becoming more and more like you..."
Rahul completed, the intention of his words distinct, as he reappeared, and Muskaan recalled both his presence and her purpose of visit. An awkward moment descended the room. Rahul looked straight at Muskaan who lowered her eyes in reaction and Adi, looking from one to the other, found his smile falter in mere lack of understanding.
"Papa..."
"Enough Adi! Off to bed..."
"But the game..."
"NOW!"
"Its just..."
"To the count of ten."
"But Miss..."
"Count of five unless you want to go and stand in the pantry alone for the rest of the night." Rahul closed the argument with a word of finality.
Adi opened his mouth to speak more, then saw his father raise an eye in warning. He knew when his father meant business and right now he did. He also knew detention for a night in the dark pantry was a dead serious threat he was rarely subjected to and he didn't have to find reasons to get himself into it. Turning his back upon his father hence, he faced Muskaan and smiled little in courtesy.
"Good night Miss. I'll see you... on Monday." Muskaan nodded, almost too vigorously fighting the urge to either hug the boy tight or yell at Rahul or both at once. Instead she forced herself to greet him back.
"Good night... Adi!" And fixing the hair he had unsuccessfully attempted to minutes ago, she smiled only for his sake. Rahul clenched his teeth looking sideways to anything but the sight of them.
Adi trudged towards his father giving him a last soulful look, as Rahul continued to ignore, before dragging his feet laboriously to the bedroom on the floor above.
"And change out of that costume!" he ordered from behind. Muskaan noticed his own was gone as he stood in an easy pair of slacks and a hoodie on top.
"Night Dad..." they both heard as he spoke out, his volume loud but the note low, before the light of the room flickered off into a darkness.
"Sweet dreams," Rahul muttered in a wry tone more to himself his eyes lingering at the door of the bedroom buying some extra seconds to compose his mental battle. Muskaan however had a different idea.
"You're mad at me..." she asked in a matter of fact tone as one would employ in stating facts. At which Rahul turned back to her, cause he had to. And looked at her a long moment before deciding to walk away into the kitchen. "Fine. Bad question." she muttered following him closely behind.
"Coffee?"
He turned around abruptly with the question causing her to crash into his frame. Almost. She inhaled sharply and stepped back, several steps before looking up into his eyes, hating the intimidated feeling inside. His gaze of steel improved nothing and she just had to look away. And her eyes fell, as if out of convenience, upon a bottle of Tylenol. She became aware only then of the strain that was beginning to become rather painful around the edges of her temples.
"No coffee thanks," she replied slowly as Rahul turned his back upon her to return one of the two mugs he had extracted from the cupboard earlier. "But can I get..."
"There's no alcohol in the house." he replied rather impolitely, cutting her off. Muskaan frowned a second after she comprehended his words.
"I was going to ask for water," she told him grabbing the Tylenol and moving to the sink. She washed down a couple of pills with a hand full of water before turning around to face him. And because he looked neither affected nor apologetic in the least she finally forgot all other crowding worries and inhibitions to simply glare at him. "When did I give you the permission to keep a tab on my liquor consumption anyways?"
Rahul was not any closer to submitting into guilt or anger or anything that was family to that set of emotions.
"I don't need your permission. This is MY house." he informed her. Then at the rapid change of expression in her eyes the guilt despite his inexplicable anger and resistance for her did hit him somewhere in the pit of his stomach. And he knew he had gone a little too far.
"You know what," she managed hoarsely, and he was unsure if there was a shiver in her voice from temper or emotion, "You're right. This is YOUR house, and I have no business to be here." Shoving past him hastily before she could be overpowered by her own tumult she grabbed her handbag off the couch and reached the door before he knew.
"Muskaan!" he called out from behind her disappearing form out of his house. God! There was no way to understand why and how this woman managed to bring out the absolute worst in him, ALWAYS! Still, if he had been unreasonable there was no way he could escape by simply blaming her for it. He rushed to follow her before she was gone for good.
"Muskaan...!" He exhaled catching up and coming to stand facing her straight. A barrier between the driver's door to her car and herself. She swallowed hard as her eyes stung from brimming tears and fished into her handbag more furiously, feeling for the damn keys. She almost dropped the entire huge thing as he tugged at the curve of her elbow with more force than was needed and pulled her back towards the house.
She remembered to protest only at the sight of the inside of the house when he threw the door open. HIS house, she reminded herself mentally. And jerked her arm out of his grip.
"Listen to me!" he commanded cupping her shoulders into a firm grip so that she had no option but to concede. "Listen..." he repeated in a much lower whisper, "I'm sorry. Tell me why you're here." She wanted to use those last words against him still, blame him of imposing a favor upon her by letting her back into his house, but look in his eyes stopped her. The intense, solemn, look of concern. Several quiet seconds passed between them but he knew she would reply when he felt the muscles of her shoulders relax beneath his hold.
"Tell me honey..." he urged her raising one hand to pat her cheek lightly. Muskaan sighed deeply.
"Ms. Stark... she... " Muskaan started, and both remained unconscious of his fingers tucking her curl behind her ear, as another cold wave blowing over the house and Muskaan shivered one more time.
"Come inside," Rahul commanded tugging at her arm and removing his frame blocking the door. She took only a couple of steps, making possible only to shut the door behind her and changing her mind meanwhile she went on,
"Ms. Stark wants the script drafts completed by Monday." Rahul frowned at her, looking closely. Then spoke after a silent pause.
"I know that." When she looked up at him surprised he shrugged and explained, "She told me when I went to meet her so she knew I was around today."
"Oh..." Muskaan said.
"Now tell me what you came for."
"I... thats all... I mean... I thought you didn't... "
"Are you by any chance trying to sell me the idea thats all you had to tell me? At 9PM, in person, when there are a dozen other ways of letting me know... Of course telling me the same at the path tomorrow would have been rather delayed, eh?"
Muskaan blinked at him once, then lowered her eyes.
"She knows about us," He frowned at her quiet words.
"Who?"
"Ms. Stark."
"Knows what?"
"About us." she repeated with a look of being obvious. "That we're... I mean... Sangeet Pal told her we're seeing each other." She fiddled with her fingernails and looked up only when he remained quiet.
"So?"
"SO?!" she asked him wide eyed, disbelieving. "So she knows! About us. And now its a pretty picture. Aditya Grewal, the son of my current boyfriend, is a student in my class, who's responsibility I was finally handed after much initial confusion between his father and me, who also happens to be my publicly claimed beau. And she , 'my boss' was never informed about any of these intricate 'personal' details... since WE ARE NOT EVEN ACTUALLY DATING...!" She was forced to silence as he cupped her mouth urgently at the sudden pitch of her voice.
"Shush!" Rahul whispered, his head turning by default to the door of his room upstairs. And both of them stood still listening for any tell tale noise. When none came, and several seconds passed Rahul felt her lips quiver under his hand; Muskaan pulled it off her mouth and backed off slightly.
"I forgot," she whispered before looking back at him. He appeared to be in thought.
"So she wants Adi out of your class now?"
"No! I mean... its not ethically correct but there isn't a rule for it. And shes... she thinks of me as a responsible person." Rahul noticed a bitter edge in her last words.
"So what's the problem then?" Muskaan gave him a weird look. Then ran a hand through her lose bangs.
"Isn't it problem enough that she thinks we're dating when we're not?"
"Will she mention it to Adi?"
"Adi?" she paused, "Oh Adi! I don't know... She could... I mean Rahul!" she said throwing her hands in exasperration, "She has the facts wrong. And that is wrong enough."
"Well as long as its just her..."
"She is my boss..."
"Correct! A boss who thinks well of you..."
"Which she wont anymore cause..."
"Cause you're dating me?" Rahul shook his head at her. "Then you must mean she thinks I'm a bad guy." he stated folding his arms across his chest conclusively.
"No... she doesn't..."
"Then what's the problem? People date people all the time. Besides," he said looking her in the eye, "What if we WERE dating?"
"But we are not..." Rahul raised an eye at this, a challenging eye she couldn't hold back with her own, even though she was right and he was not. Instead she shut her eyes and sighed sharply.
"Never mind!" she said in a tired voice. "I should have never come. I just... thought..." and she left it that shaking her head. Rahul moved forward towards her and tenderly gripped her shoulders.
"Muskaan..." he said, seeking her attention, "Look! We should make sure she doesn't mention it to Adi. And then thats fine. She doesn't want your personal matters to interfere with your work and they wont. Other than that whatever she thinks or knows should not bother you so much." As she looked into his eyes he urged her silently to understand and agree. Muskaan sighed.
"It is already interfering with my work, this so called personal matter, and I'm getting tired of handling the web of lies... it keeps getting worse."
"Which was exactly why I told you we should talk to your family." Muskaan pulled back sharply at this.
"Where does my family come into picture again?" As Rahul opened his mouth to reply she cut him off, "There is enough mess already without dragging them into this."
"But they are already a part of it."
"They don't need to know anything other than what they do. Anyways..." she paused looking away, "They will never understand."
"Not if you don't try to explain..."
"Even if I do!" she stated looking back determined. "Leave them out of this. You have no idea what my family is like and exactly how unreasonable they can get. I would have never wanted my work to get meddled with any of my personal mess and now... " she left it at that again.
"What do you want me do?"
Rahul asked her simply. And she looked at him thinking. What did she want him to do? She had no idea. Why had she come to him in the first place then? She didn't know... but he always had a solution... and she had hoped he would know what to do as usual. But what would he do, what would he fix, and what was there to be fixed? Everything... and yet nothing that he could fix. She suddenly empathized with his predicament more than ever before. She had put him to spot, expected him to resolve all her problems, and never let him do it any way he thought right. How fair was that...
"Nothing," she whispered without looking at him as her mind felt overwrought, "Nothing at all." Then looking up at him she said, "I should leave. I'm sorry. I don't know why I came here..." saying so before he had a chance to react she turned around to open the door and walked out of the house. Instantly the biting cold hit her, but instead of its usual impact, she thought it felt refreshing in a strange way. Like a splash of ice cold water to wake up from a deep slumber. She hurried to her car.
This time Rahul stood at the door and watched her bring the engine to life, cut a reverse and drive away, out of the neighbourhood. And he sighed deeply. She was without a doubt a difficult woman to understand... but perhaps it was much more the complication of the situation between and around them that was difficult... rather impossible. He knew she was stressed with everything that was happening, hell he knew it so well he was in the middle of it himself with her. But he wished he had been able to relieve her of some pressure since she had come... to him.
A faint smile appeared of its own accord. He was disappointed with himself to have disappointed her, even though he had no idea what he could have done instead. Perhaps just heard her out without barging in with his frank advice which he could impart another day... Still! She had come to him, to his house just to talk out what was troubling her. The thought of it was a comfort and a guilt at the same time.
Rahul shut the door. Leaned his forehead against its now cold surface for a bit, it was a refreshing cool. Seconds later he straightened himself and turned to fix the room back to shape before he could retire for the night. Just in case he stood a chance to get some sleep, he was certain it could do him wonders before another long day ahead tomorrow. As he tidied the place Rahul's eyes fell on her coat which had remained left behind. A moment later, he stepped to the closet, then searched the pockets impulsively and found, other than randomly stuffed receipts and a woolen cap, a smart ladies wallet inside.
"Jeez!" he murmured, thinking of the cold outside. "The crazy girl..." Forgetting the rest of rearrangements in the room he looked around for his cell. Finding which he quickly dialled her number. When it rang a whole length and went to the voicemail he was at least partly not surprised at all. Scratching his head he waited for the beep, then spoke into the set.
"Muskaan! Rahul here. I just realized you left your coat behind, with your wallet in it. I hope you have enough gas to last you all the way back home, if not, call me back and I'll keep the house open until you come and fetch your stuff... Actually call me back anyways, just so I know you got back fine... and... um... oh yeh, since we both forgot to decide, lets meet up at the school gates like last time before the path tomorrow? If you don't want to drive I can pick you up from your place and drive back... I mean its Sunday not much traffic... I don't really care, leme know whichever way... And erm... yeh, well I hope you don't get too cold its not the best weather. Yeh!... so... call me, I'll be up until I hear from you... Take care honey!"
Then ending the call, he plopped into the nearest couch tossing the I-Phone by his side to hear her call, meanwhile he fiddled with the rich maroon wallet in his hand debating whether or not the basic ethics could be trashed this once. Curiosity won some seconds later and he flipped it open. Lose bills, some jingling change, a TON of cards... Gosh! A ton indeed. He flicked through them - Macy's, Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Victoria's Secret - he smirked at this one shaking his head - Borders, Barns & Nobles, I-tunes, Godiva's, Starbucks, Taco Bell - he smirked again- Radio Shack, FMG... FMG? Rahul scanned the card for explanation to the acronym until he saw it - Frequent Movie Goers... seriously?!
All by himself he broke out laughing. She had an 'FMG' card too? It was crazy and adorable at the same time, Rahul stuffed the cards back the grin persistent. In another pocket he found a varied range of toon tatoos, the temporary kinds which kids used. Trust her personal wallet to have stuff like that! Looking through the other slots he found a glossy card with several shades of bronze and brown, turning it around he realized it was a shade check for the range of eye shadows from ULTA. He rolled his eyes, women! He glanced at front side again and saw she had starred a particular shade bar towards the right of the range.
"Hmmm..."
Looking through more as he tilted the wallet to push this card back into its slot something slipped and fell to the floor rug. Another card he thought, at the sight of its plane white back side. When he flipped it between his fingers however, even before he saw it, he knew it was a photograph. Turning it around, he couldn't help but stare at it for several long moments.
There it was, that pair of hazel eyes staring back it him, just like his own. It was a picture of her student, his son... Aditya Grewal.
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ps: i know people, horribly terribly delayed... but this is the second last part to the fic... and the last one is almost done... just some random changes or polishing...
wil post it later sometime today! meanwhile, would totally love to know what you thought of this part after and despite the HUGE gap! hoping to see some feedbacks before i post the next bit in some hours from now...
pps: achilles was the greek warrior who was immortal until his heel was attacked, his only mortal point! an interesting legend to read about, if you would care... Herc here is simply a reference to Hercules i mentioned some parts before :)
@nij n kratz ... finally, tomorrow comes :)
@hinz n kiz... i'm going to see you both, only at the end of this thing now :D
@rapi... :) somehow i guess i will manage within this week :D but pray, where are you off to?
thats it! enjoy reading, ill be back soon!
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