FF An ugly truth part 35 pg 97 1.7.11 (new) - Page 59

Part 29

For the first time that day Jai dared to look at his wife. He took the paper out of her hand but the tears in his eyes made the words on it unreadable. He had to blink a few times to see Pias name in a corner. It were the last few words on the page that shocked him. A positive pregnancy. Jai searched for the date of the test and he knew what Bani meant when she said It was yours.

He felt Bani stare at him, but knew that this time her eyes were not filled with love. It was pain he saw in her eyes. peeche aur bhi hai. she cried.

Call it instinct or anything else, but Jai knew that the child must be dead. After everything that happened he had learnt one thing about Pia. She could do anything she deemed right at a certain moment. And at that moment, during her marriage, she must have thought it was right to abort the child. His child.

The heart wrenching cries coming from Bani robbed him of his strength. He never saw her like this. Even when she had distanced herself from him, punished herself for not being able to have a child she had been in pain, angry at herself, maybe even hate, but he never saw Bani defeated. And Jai knew that only he could have brought her to this state. Her soul was tied to God, her mind and her heart to her parents, her sister and his family, but she had only given him a right to all three. And only he could shatter her like this. Jai dropped himself on his knees in front of her and burst out in tears again. Tears he had not shed since his confession to Ranveer. He had tried to be brave.

Its not true right?' Bani whispered. She scrambled on her knees and sat down in front of Jai, willing him to look at her. 'It's not true right? She put her hand under his chin, but still he averted his face and looked at the floor. 'Jai look at me. Please.' Bani placed her palms on each side of his face. 'tell me it's not true Jai. You didn't know Didi before we got married, right?' He was crying, like she had never seen before.

'Jai, bolo na. Sab jhooth hai na?'

An even bigger shock shook her world when Jai removed her hands from his face and stayed quiet.

'this cant be.' Bani shook her head. 'yeh nahin ho sakta .' she cried. 'Jai tell me yeh sab jhoot hai.' She pleaded as she grabbed the lapels of his jacket and clutched it tightly in her fists. 'Keh do sab jhoot hai. Jijaji jhoot bol rahe hai. Tumne kuch nahin kiya.' She begged him desperately. Tears rolled over her cheeks on the hard Floor. With every bit of force she possessed in her tired body she shook Jai. 'Jiske saath didi….Woh koi aur hoga. Woh tum nahin ho Jai.' She cried.

'Please, tell me once that this is not true. Bas ek baar Jai.' She weeped.

'uske baad jo kahoge karungi. Cheekho, chillao, maaro, kuch bhi karo kyunki maine tumpe shak kiya. Bas ek baar kehdo ki yeh jhoot hai. Tum didi ko nahin jaante the. Yeh baccha tumhaara nahin tha. Jo kuch jijaji ne kaha sab jhoot hai.'

Exhausted Bani rested her head against his chest in the hope that this would be over in seconds and released his jacket from her tight grip. She brought her hand to his neck and up to his cheek. Just a few seconds more and this would be over, she assured herself. Everything would go back to normal. She would only have to ask Jai for forgiveness and it would be over. But it stayed awfully quite. Bani looked up when his tears fell on her face.

'Sab jhoot hai na? Tumhe meri kasam, kehdo ki sab jhoot hai.' At last she used the only person she knew who might mean more to Jai than her. 'Tumhe Nacchiket bhaiyya ki kasam.'

'I cant Bani.'

And it was the first time Jai could answer her, look straight at her because he spoke the truth.

'I'm sorry, I cant.' He cried. It was disbelieve that shook Bani first, then the betrayal she suffered from came like a wave. There couldn't be a greater punishment for Jai then to see all these emotions on her face and in her eyes. He saw the love in her eyes vanish. It was only pain that settled there now. Bani shook her head. Jai heard a small whisper. 'No.' she was looking intently at his face, hoping to find him laughing at a joke he cracked.

'No.' she said a bit firmly this time. Jai found himself seated on the floor when Bani roughly pushed him away and backed herself towards the wall. In a harsh move she flung a coffee cup lying next to her towards the wall. It shattered. the sound of it could be heard in every corner of the huge house. The tiny pieces flew around her and bounced against her hand, leaving a deep gash on her wrist. Jai hurriedly held her hand wanting to look at the injury and stop the drops of blood that flowed from it. Bani cruelly wrenched his hand from her wrist.

'Don't touch me!' she shouted, not even paying attention to the family members who had hurriedly gathered in front of the door and were trying to enter, but Ranveer held them back. There was no place for any of them here.

' get out!' Bani looked at Jai. 'Leave me alone.'

'Bani I need to…'

'NO! just leave!' she shouted. 'Get out!' Jai stared at her wishing he could do something. Anything to take away her pain.

'just leave me alone Jai.' She pleaded in agony. He stood up and walked away. It was the least he could do. Ranveer saw his friend sitting on the floor, crying out her misery.

'Bani..'

'Ranveer, mujhe who photographs chaahiye.' Bani looked at him. Her face were stained with tears. Ranveer looked somewhat perplexed. 'Bani I…'

'Tum achanak Poona kyun chale gaye Ranveer?' Bani interrupted him. 'Jai ke saath tum kaise aa gaye?'

Ranveer didn't want to hurt her anymore then she was hurting. But he didn't knew what would hurt her more. Defying her at this point in her life, or handing over the pictures?

'I know you saw them Ranveer. Otherwise you wouldn't look at me like this.'

Ranveer opened left the room for a while. When he came back he saw Bani in the same position on the floor. He handed her the packet.

'Close the door behind you.' Bani said briskly as she turned to the photographs. Ranveer walked towards the door. He peeked over his shoulder to see Bani quickly rummaging through the pictures. Fanatically she changes one picture for the other like she wanted to see all of them at once. Ranveer walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Bani couldn't believe her eyes. It was real. This woman was her sister. The woman in Jai's life was her sister. The woman Jai had loved with his heart and soul was her own sister. The woman Bani had been so jealous of in the beginning was her sister. The faceless woman who seemed to barge in her thoughts after her most intimate moments with Jai had a face now. She had a name now. And unfortunately the face and the name were all too familiar.

Bani looked at the pictures in her hand. A restaurant, a hotel, a movie theatre. And more secluded places. She didn't want to look at Jai and Pia. She just looked at the surroundings. Her minds would play different tricks if she saw both of them together. It was on one of those pictures when she saw a close-up of Jai and Pia holding hands. She couldn't avoid it. The next picture showed them kissing each other. Clutching the pictures to her chest Bani cried out a piercing cry. Slowly she dropped herself to the floor to lie down, not even minding the pieces of the broken cup piercing her skin. She was too tired to do anything except curl up on the floor and cry.

**

'Jai, what happened?' Aditya stopped Jai when he was about to walk out of the house.He dragged Jai towards the sofa and made him sit down. Mausi. Jigyasa and Anu surrounded him worriedly. 'Kya huwa hai Jai?' Mausi asked him softly.

' Tum dono me jhagra huwa kya?'

Jai shook his head.

'To phir?' jigyasa asked her brother.

Jai only searched for his brother-in-law. 'She knows jiju. She found out.'

An audible gasp came from Aditya. He dropped himself on the sofa next to Jai. 'Kaise?'

'I don't know.'

'Koi humko bhi bataayega ki kya huwa hai?!' Jigyasa screamed. 'Kya huwa hai Jai? Tell me.' But she was completely ignored by the two men.

'I lost her Jiju.' Jai whispered. '

Aditya shook his head.' No. give her some time. It will be all right.'

'It wont.'

' Explain everything to her Jai.'

'she doesn't even want to see me.' Jai cried.

'She will. Tell her everything. She will understand Jai. Give her some time.'

'yahaan ho kya raha hai?' Mausi demanded to know. Ranveer came down the stairs and took Mausi, his mother and sister away. Jai needed his time alone with his father.

'She hates me.'

'No she doesn't Jai.'Aditya gently patted his arm. 'Yes, she is hurt, par…'

'I hurt her Jiju.' Jai looked at him. 'I was the one who hurt her.' Aditya embraced him and let him cry. 'Let her for a while. Then go to her. Sab bata do Jai.'

'I will jiju. I have to.'

It was later that night that Jai stood in front of the room. The entire house had suffered from whatever happened earlier. Mausi and Jigyasa had refused to eat. Ranveer left the house for a while to spend some time with Rano, but the truth was that he couldn't see Bani or Jai like this and hence decided to leave for a while. Aditya kept pacing the room the entire time and Anu had locked herself in her room. Except Ranveer who wasn't home yet, everyone had retired to their rooms and were probably asleep, if they could.

No one had gathered the courage to face Bani yet. Not all of the family members knew what had happened, but the pain they had seen in Bani had provided a powerful barrier no one wanted to breech. Jai had to breech it now, if he wanted to convince Bani of his love and ask her for forgiveness.

Taking a deep breath he opened the door and hoped to find a shouting and screaming Bani in the room. He would be able to deal with that. But he knew that that was not his wife. She wouldn't shout at him, scream at him. He found her still curled up lying on the floor. The pictures were spread out in front of her.

Jai lingered a while near the door until he heard her softly sob. 'Go away.'

'I need to speak to you Bani, please.' He pleaded.

'Why?'

'Mujhe please explain karne do. I'll do anything you want after that.'

It stayed quiet. He could only hear her cry. She tried to sit up and looked at him. It was a piece of the broken cup that stuck in her palm and made her wince in pain, but she pushed Jai away when he wanted to help her.

'Bani I..'

'Say what you have to say Jai, then leave.' Bani told him.

'I don't know where to start.'

Bani raised her head. In a fleeting glimpse she saw the pictures she had spread in front of her on the floor.

'Are you having an affair with my sister?' her voice was cold, harsh as she uttered those words, but she couldn't help it.

NO!' Jai screamed as if she had offended him. 'I'm not having an affair with you sister.'

'were you having an affair with her?'

Jai hesitated. 'yes. I was having an affair with Pia.'

Bani cringed. Hearing Jai utter her name seemed so…personal, intimate.

'when did you meet her?'

Jai narrated almost everything to her until Pia's no show when he wanted to elope.

Bani heard him patiently and stayed quiet after that.

'You thought my parents were against you?' Bani asked Jai after a while.

He nodded.

'You would have married didi if they would have agreed?'

Bani looked carefully at the range of emotions on Jai's face and waited for his answer.

'Kya tum didi se shaadi karte Jai, tell me?'

'Dont do this Bani.' Jai whispered.

'Don't do what?! Tum sach bataana chaahte ho to batao!' She hissed at him.

'Would you have married my sister?!'

'maybe, yes.'

'Tumne mujhse shaadi kyun ki Jai?'

'I wanted to…I liked you.' Jai lied.

'No you didn't!' Bani shrieked. 'so tell me. Itne sach kahe hai aaj, ek aur sahi!'

several deep breaths later Jai spoke up. 'I wanted revenge. I wanted Pia back.'

'You what?! She shouted. ' from who? Mujhse? The truth Jai, just tell it.'

'Your parents' Jai mumbled.

'you wanted to hurt my parents?' Bani said.

' I thought they were being partial to you, they loved you more than Pia and that's why they married her to her husband. I believed he abused her, Bani.'

'If you believed that then you were nothing but a fool Jai.' She spat out.

'I know. I know.' He cried out. 'I wanted to tell you Bani, par..'

'Par kya jai?' she looked at him. 'Bata nahin paaye kabhi?' Her eyes were filled with tears again. 'Shaadi se pehle mauka nahin mila…nahin, tum to batana nahin chaahte the. Shaadi ke baad, tab bhi nahin kyunki tab sirf tum mujhe taqleef pahuchaana chaate the.' Bani said. 'uske baad kya karna chaahte the Jai? I thought your behaviour after our marriage had nothing to do with me Jai, but now I know that you wanted to hurt me…you wanted to hurt my parents…..if you wanted to do that then why did stop me when I wanted to leave?'

'Because I love you.'

'And you couldn't have told me then?'

I didn't want to Bani. I thought you would leave and during that moment….I just couldn't.

Bani covered her face again and shed the tears she had been holding back.

Bani.. Jai dropped himself in front of her. Please, forgive me. Mujhe pata hai. I should have told you. Im so sorry. he cried as he looked at her.

How should I forgive you Jai.' She looked at him. Its not about forgiving. Do you know how I feel to know that you loved my sister Jai? Pyaar tak to theek hai par affair…you know how disgusted I feel with myself to know that I slept with someone who was about to be the father of my sister's child? I married the man who wanted to marry my sister, Jai. Jab tum mere saath phere le rahe the tab kiske bare me soch rahe the? Tum samajh rahe ho mai kaisa mehsoos kar rahi hoon?'

Jai looked at his wife, dumbstruck. he didn't have an answer because he couldn't imagine how she felt. ' Tumhaari wajah se Jai, jijaji ka yeh haal huwa hai. Tumhaari wajah se woh na chain se jee sakte hai, na chain se mar sakte hai. Dont look down Jai.' She said when Jai averted his eyes with a guilty look. 'Pata hai didi ke divorce ke waqt ma aur papa ki kya haalat thi? In sab ke liye sirf didi nahin, par tum bhi zimmedaar ho. And now your telling me that you married me for revenge.' She cried. 'pata hai mai kitna jalti thi us larki se jisse tum pyaar karte the. Mai pehle ghanton sochti rehti, kya koi mujhse itna pyaar sakega. After that I would suddenly get flashes of you kissing her like you kissed me. Loving her like you loved me….that woman was my sister Jai. That face I imagined in my mind was someone who is an important part of my life. My own blood. Everything I thought was a lie Jai.'

' Bani I love you.' Jai cupped her face. A part of him was surprised that she even let him when he wiped her tears. 'Yeh jhoot to nahin hai. Aur tum bhi mujhse pyaar karti ho. Baaki sab bhooli baatein hai. It was in the past.'

'it wasn't my past Jai.' Bani shook her head. 'It's my present.'

'Bani, I know you are upset and hurt. But cant you forget it?'

Bani stared long and hard at the man in front of her. Couldn't he really understand the pain that was tearing her apart.

'Jai, before we got married I was in love with someone.' Bani whispered vindictively. 'Hum chup chup ke milte the, kisiko bhi pata nahin tha. We slept together. I cant even count how many times.' Bani said looking at his face wrench. Jai was grinding his teeth. She knew he was possessive of her.

'I got pregnant Jai. Mai uske bacche ki maa banne wali thi.' Jai clenched his fist tightly even though he knew it was impossible. Bani was never involved with someone. She wouldn't have hidden something like that. She even confessed one time about the crush she had on a classmate when she was 10. she would never conceal something like this. And having slept with someone before she met Jai. It was impossible, he knew that. Still it hurt a lot.

'mandap me baithne se pehle he came to meet me. You know him too, kay baar humaare ghar aaya hai.'

Jai stopped her when he spoke up in a raw voice. 'Stop it Bani! Aur kitna jhoot bologi?!'

'Mera jhoot sunkar tum baukhla gaye Jai, jab ki tum se behter aur kaun jaanega ki meri zindagi me aur koi nahin tha.' Bani said. 'Mere paas to tumhaara sach hai. Yeh saari tasveerein hai.' Bani picked one up from the Floor.

'mera toota huwa parivaar hai. Meri behen hai jisne mujhe dhokha diya. Tum batao, mai kya karoon Jai?' she cried. 'Mai kaise bhool jaoon?'

Jai gathered her in his arms when she cried. He cried with her.

'jis rishte ko mai sab kuch maan baithi uski bunyaad kya hai Jai?' Her voice was muffled as she whispered against his chest.

'Sirf pyaar.' Jai whispered hoarsely back.

'to mere pyaar me kya kami reh gayi ki itni ehem baat mujhe kisi aur se sunni pari.' Bani lifted her head. 'Jijaji to ab shayed ghair hai Jai. Tum to apno se bhi zyaada apne ho.' She gasped.

'I'm sorry Bani. I'm so so sorry.' Jai could only chant.

'Just leave me alone for a while Jai.'

He had no other choice then leave when Bani pushed him away.

Bani sat on the floor watching the night pass by.

It was just eight o'clock the next morning. Jai had stayed away the entire night, and it might be for the better. Her tears had dried long since and she was left with the bitter taste of betrayal. Not only from her husband, but from her sister too. Bani stood up, walked to the bathroom and washed her face. She picked up the stack off pictures she swiped off the floor along with the pregnancy report and walked out of the house in brisk steps ignoring all the people around her wanting to know where she was going. Bani stepped into jai's car and drove through the gate with a mind numbing speed until she stopped in front of her parents' bungalow and stepped out of the car.

With the photo's in her hand Bani walked inside when she met Narayyan.

'Are, Bani didi. Aap yahan? Itni subah?'

' Narayyan bhaiyya, didi kahan hai ?'

'Oopar, apne kamre me.' He told her surprised at her cold behaviour.. 'Par babuji aur ma-ji ghar par nahin hai.'

Bani nodded and marched up the stairs to her sister's room. She opened the door and found her sister sleeping. In her anger Bani threw the pictures on the bed. They were spread all over it and woke up her sister.

'Bani, What is this?!" her sister asked furiously as she sat up in her bed.

'Aapke kaarnamon ka suboot.'

'Bani!'

'Chillaiye mat!' Bani shouted back. 'Kyun didi…ab bura lag raha hai?'

Pia looked at the pictures on her bed. 'yeh tasveeren tumhe kahan mili ?' she mumbled. To Bani's satisfaction Pia looked frightened, disturbed.

'Jijaji ne bheja hai. Jaanti hai na aap unhe…aapke ex-husband.'

'Bani!'

'mere ex-jijaji ne yeh bataaya ke unke divorce ki wajah meri behen ka affair tha, mere pati ke saath.'

'Bani!' Pia shouted.

'Mera pati meri bari behen ka pooraana aashiq.' Bani said as she paced in the room. 'My husband is the father of my sister's aborted child.' Bani said with a fake smile. 'aur kuch baaki hai didi?'

'Behave yourself Bani.' Pia warned her.

'How should I behave didi? How should I behave when I find out that my husband and my sister had a relationship before she got married. Challo woh to theek hai.' Bani dismissed it with a wave of her hand. 'But they had an affair while she was married and was about to have a baby with him. Now tell me how should I behave? ' Bani asked her.

'Or tell me how to behave when my sister saw her old boyfriend in our house when I was about to get married to him, but she stayed quiet.'

'Tumhaari mangi ho chuki thi Bani.' Pia defended herself. She had never seen Bani in such rage.

'Mangni huwi thi, shaadi nahin!' Bani screamed. 'You could have said something!'

'kaise kehte?' Pia started crying. 'Sab itne khush the Bani. I have hurt our family so much with the divorce. How could I tell them then?'

'You haven't hurt the family with your divorce didi.' Bani looked at her. 'They only wanted to see you happy, no matter how. But you have hurt them with the reason for the divorce. How could you didi? How could you hide such a thing, even from me. Woh bhi tab jab meri shaadi hone waali thi Jai ke saath?'

'He threatened me Bani. I couldn't say anything.'

Bani shook her head. 'He didn't threaten you to stay quiet. He dared you to speak!'

Pia looked surprised at her younger sister. 'I couldn't say it Bani. How would I have explained it to ma and papa.'

A mocking laugh erupted from Bani's throat. 'You could say it, you just didn't want to. You were afraid that they would know what you did…..ek baar bhi nahin socha ki badle me Jai mera kya haal karega. Jo jo jhoot aapne bole hai…uski bharpai mujhse karwayega. Only you were the one who knew how he treated me in the beginning. Even then you didn't tell me?' She turned to her sister.

Pia had tears running down her cheeks. 'I made a lot of mistakes in my life Bani. But I genuinely didn't want to hurt mama and papa. Maine unke liye nahin bataaya.'

'Aur mere baare me ek baar nahin socha ?'

'Tu ab to khush hai na Jai ke saath. Phir yeh sab kyun kar rahi ho?'

' Mai tab khush thi jab mujhe pata tha ki Jai sirf mujhse pyaar karta hai, na ki meri behen ke saath ek baccha hone wala tha agar aapne abortion nahin karwaaya hota!' Bani shouted.

'Tu mujhse kyun ulajh rahi hai?!'Pia shouted back.'I told you I am sorry, phir bhi…Go to your husband if you want an explanation, mere paas kyun aayi ho!'

'My husband.' Bani answered painfully. 'Mai to ek saal pehle unhe jaanti tak nahin thi. Today he is important to me because I love him. He is my husband. But when we got married he was a stranger. Aap to meri apni thi, meri sagi behen. Ek hi ma-baap ke bacche.' Bani answered in a hoarse and painful voice. 'we were born and brought up in the same house didi. Did the same things….we share the same blood. Jab aapne mujhe sach nahin bataaya to mujhe Jai se kaun si ummeed honi chaahiye thi.'

Bani saw Pia cringe when she uttered those words but she recovered quickly.

'tum to kehti thi ki tum Jai se bohot pyaar karti ho, to ab kya huwa Bani? Saara pyaar khatam…isiliye maine tumhe nahin bataaya.'

'Jhooth mat boliye didi. Aap ne shaadi ke pehle isiliye nahin bataya kyunki aap darr rahi thi. Yeh jaante huwe ki aap ke jhooth ki wajah se Jai mama aur papa ko dard pahunchaana chaatha hai. Aur shaadi ke baad bhi aapne nahin bataaya dar ke mare. Mera pyaar Jai ke liye nahin mita hai didi aur nahin mitega. Lekin aap dono ka yeh suluuk humesha yaad rahega didi. Pyaar to mai aapse bhi karti hoon lekin Jai ki tarah aap ke liye bhi meri nazar me ap koi izzat nahin hai. Aap ke jhooth aur Jai ke badle ki aag me mai kahan reh gayi ?' Bani closed her eyes in an attempt to stop her tears.

'Mujhe to kuch nahin mila. Mila to aap dono ko hai. Aaj bhi ma aur papa yeh nahin jaanenge ki aapne kya kiya, kitne jhooth bole aur kitne logon ke saath khela. Aur aaj Jai ka badla poora huwa, whether he wants it or not. Mai khoon ke aasoon ro rahi hoon.' Bani turned around and opened the door to walk away.

'You can keep the pictures. I don't need them to remember it.'

***

Half an hour later Bani was back in the house. After a quick shower Bani dressed herself in a salwaar kameez, pulled her suitcase off the cupboard. She loaded it with her clothes, put her laptop in between her clothes and was about to walk out with the suitcase when Jai entered the room just in time.

He had bags under his eyes. His eyes were bloodshot. He had been crying a lot. Just like her. Bani tried to walk past him when he grabbed her wrist like he had done once before to stop her. In the same room. It had changed her life.

'Kahan ja rahi ho?'

'Pata nahin.'

'kyun?'

'I cant stay here Jai.'

'No.' Jai shook his head. 'I wont let you. Tum mujhe chor ke nahin jaa sakti.' He whispered. Tears formed in his eyes again. He turned her face towards him.

'Yeh nahin ho sakta. You cant leave me Bani. I said I'm sorry.' he pleaded.

'I cant stay here Jai.' Bani cried. 'I just can't.'

'Why?!' Jai shouted. 'Why cant you stay?!'

'Kyunki mai…' She looked at him. 'kal mujhe khud be bare me ek baat pata chali Jai.' Bani said. 'When I feel betrayed by people I hurt those people. Kal maine tumhe hurt kiya jhooth bolkar. I told you all those lies because I wanted to hurt you, deliberately. Aaj Pia didi ko maine hurt kiya, jaan booj kar.'

Jai spread his arms in front of her.

'Then hurt me Bani.' Jai spoke. 'mujhe fark nahin parta. Jo sazaa dena chaho do. Lekin ghar chor kar mat jao.' He implored.

' aur aage kya? I will keep hurting you. Bas wohi reh jaayega humaare rishte me?' Bani asked him.

'But…I cant live without you. I am begging you for forgiveness Bani.'

Bani smiled faintly and brushed away her tears. 'as your wife, mai tumhe maaf kar sakti hoon Jai. Thora waqt lagega, par maaf kar dungi. Lekin ek beti hone ke naate mai shayed tumhe kabhi bhi maaf nahin kar pau. You wanted to hurt my parents Jai. Mai tumhe dukh nahin pahuchaana chaahti hoon Jai. Mai chaahe kitne bhi aasoon baha loon, mai humesha tumse pyaar karti rahungi. Tum meri taakat ho lekin aaj…..' Bani walked to the door. 'Tumhaara badla poora huwa Jai. Mere aasuon se Ma aur papa ko taqleef zaroor hogi.'

Bani walked down the stairs with her suitcase in her hands. Everyone stood up from the breakfast table, stunned.

'Bani, tum…' Aditya didn't know what to say. Nor did Bani. She managed to whisper a tearful 'I'm sorry.' Before she ran out of the house and on the street.

Ranveer ran in the opposite direction towards Jai and Bani's bedroom where he found Jai seated on the bed and staring at….nothing.