FF An ugly truth part 35 pg 97 1.7.11 (new) - Page 61

So now waiting to see what Pia and Pratam plan to do. Finally I mus tsay Pratham's move was good so the truth is out and the fear can be put to rest.

Bye

read teh last 2 upadates...

and must say i was crying with JB too....

really feel bad for both of them....

and ths pia is suc a b***h.... have no words for her.....

and hoep now pia will make pratham understand taht JB do lov each other a lot..

and them staying away is only hurting both of them....

plzzzzzzzzzzzz cont soon...

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part 31

For the first time in one year Pia saw the man she had pined for, sitting across the table with a disgusted frown on his face.
Why did you call me Pia?'
Pia looked at the pristine white table cloth. 'Bani. Why did you tell her?'
'Why shouldn't I have told her?' Pratham wanted to know. 'So you and your boyfriend could carry with your activities, for the lack of a better word, behind her back?' He hissed. 'Don't you think you are asking me a rather unnecessary question?'
'I am not having an affair with Jai!' Pia hissed back. 'Whatever we had..it ended months before you told me to leave!'
'And I probably made the biggest mistake in my life by letting you go? Or by telling your sister about your affair with her husband?'

Pia's face blanched at the mention of their tumultuous marriage.
'I don't know whether you made a mistake by letting me go.' She answered in a pained voice. 'What did we have in our marriage. Tum to kabhi the nahin. You never needed me. You led your own life while I was captured in your world. It was you all the way Pratham.'
'You never made an effort Pia.'
'easy for you to say. You were never there. Everything you heard was from your mother and your sisters. The few times you felt any need for me was the most basic need anyone could have been in my place. It made me feel cheep and worthless. Nothing more than a common streetwalker. So forgive me for being infatuated when someone showed any consideration for my feelings, what I wanted to do, what I wanted to say or be.
it doesn't justify your affair.' Pratham answered feebly.
'No it doesn't, but it does question your right to judge me so harshly.'
'I judged you harshly. Then why did you choose to conceal this from your own sister? She is your own sister!'
'I was scared!' Pia groaned. 'I was scared. I didn't want my parents to think any less of me. I was plain scared. But that does not give you the right to destroy Bani's life like that. She is so much in love with Jai.'
'And that does not repulse you for one minute? Your ex-boyfriend is playing with your sister's feelings. And she was thinking that it was love?'
Pia smiled enigmatically. 'He isn't pretending. And even if it is, Bani hasn't been happier before. Jai was the one who helped her graduate, gave her the support she needed after their marriage. He nursed her back when she was operated, he pulled her out of her depression. If this is pretending then he should pretend more because he means the world to Bani.'
Pratham sat rigid in his chair. 'Bani slipped into a depression? What happened?'

With a loud sigh Pia narrated the happenings a few months ago. 'She cant have children, or what I heard from Ma, Jai doesn't want her to have children because it will endanger her life. He does care for her Pratham. Papa told me that he doesn't eat, he doesn't sleep. He keeps waiting for her to call or come back, yet he knows that Bani is hurt and he wants to give her time and space. He has grovelled for forgiveness too. For something that happened in the past. When she wasn't in his life yet. I cant help but feel a little jealous, Pratham. I wish you had made me feel like you cared enough about me.'
It took a while before Pratham spoke again after a few deep, cleansing breaths.
'I want to speak to your father.'

Ten days later.

Bani entered a busy restaurant, It was the First tine she had consciously stepped outside her hotel room and went further than the foodstall across the road. Every morning it had surprised her that she was still alive, she was still breathing even though she was in so much pain. Every breath she was taking hurt her, but she was still surviving. She couldn't call it living.
In the past ten days Bani had shut herself from the outside world. She didn't take any calls, not even from her parents. And especially none from her sister. She was happy to receive a message from Jai after she had told him she was safe. It didn't tell her to come back or forgive him and she appreciated it a lot. He only sent her a text telling her to take care of herself, take her medication on time, of which he normally reminded her, and take rest. The hotel manager, quite a friendly man, informed her a few days agao that a man frequently called up and asked for her. The man was never rude over the phone and even understood that the manager couldn't divulge any information about a guest without her permission. Bani had smiled weakly and given her permission to the hotel manager to tell the caller what he wanted to know. It couldn't be anyone else.
The last three days Pratham had called her frequently, persistently until Bani had picked up. He had invited her to a restaurant where he needed to talk to her. Bani couldn't refuse when he said it was urgent. She didn't want to be rude and agreed, but when she saw the woman sitting next to Pratham, talking to him in hushed tones, Bani wished she could be rude and walk out of the restaurant. But Pratham saw her. He waved and Bani couldn't turn around and leave. She joined Pratham and her sister, without even looking at her, once.
Kya baat hai?' Bani asked. 'Aaj aap dono ek saath?'
They looked slightly embarrassed as red stained their cheeks. 'Woh.. nothing.' Pratham dismissed it. 'Bachha, Pia called me last week. I think I made a mistake. I didn't want to break up your family. I didn't know. I thought he was playing with your emotions. I just didn't want you to get hurt.'
'So, what changed?' Bani asked in her soft voice.
'Pia called me up.' Pratham said as he looked at his estranged wife. Bani didn't miss the starry-eyed expression and felt a painful pang in her chest.
'She really is sorry Bani.' Pratham said as he held Pia's hand.
"she loves you a lot even though she made mistakes.' Pia had her eyes fixed on the tablecloth and sobbed softly.
'She cant speak for herself?' Bani's soft voice turned acidy.
Pia looked at her younger sister with tears in her eyes.
'You are right Bani. I can talk for myself.' She took a deep breath as if she was trying to breath in courage to speak.' I was scared. I made mistakes and I didn't want ma and pappa to find out. I lost my husband who was the only man I wanted in my life. I just wanted him to pay me attention. Like he used to do in the beginning and well…I couldn't admit it and own up to my mistakes.'
'
Pratham's grip around Pia's hand tightened. 'Its okay.' He whispered in her ear.
Bani closed her eyes shutting out the display in front of her.
'If that is all.' Bani mumbled. ' I'll take your leave.'

Pratham stopped her and ordered a coffer for her which was brought to her quickly. 'That is not all Bani. I thought they were playing games with you, but it isn't true. Pia only wanted to see you happy, but she was scared. You know how your parents would react if she would have told them.'
'about what?' Bani asked. 'About the affair, or the fling ya pappa ka naam lekar jhooth bolna, or baad me sach ko chupaana jab meri shaadi honewaali thi? How would they react about what? Bani wanted to know.
To Bani's satisfaction Pia looked embarrassed.
'Pappa went to meet him.' Pratham informed Bani. 'several times….go back Bani, he is heartbroken. He is loves you a lot and is repenting. And by the way you are holding your breath since I am speaking about Jai, you love him as much and want to be with him too. I made a mistake. Mujhe kabhi nahin kehna chaahiye tha ki tum wahan se chali jao.'
It were just a few tears that Bani was able to blink away.

'So he changed from 'that man' to Jai now?' Bani asked Pratham.
'jijaji, I am sorry. I don't want to be rude, but I don't need your stamp of approval on my marriage or my husband. I know he loves me and that it not the point. Who are you anyway to drop a bomb on me anytime you want, then take it back anytime you want? I was happy the way I was.' Bani said. 'I was stupid and ignorant the way I was until you sent me that mail. You know how I felt when I read that mail. My sister and my husband were about to have a child. You might be big and large hearted to accept it, but I am not.'
Bani looked at her sister suddenly. In all the years Pia and Bani had lived together and knew each other, Pia had never heard the hard edge in Bani's voice which she heard now.
'Didi I don't know what Jai meant to you. Some toy to play with maybe.' Bani added. "but I know that he loved you. A lot. Because that is the way he is. When he loves, he loves completely and without restrictions. Agar woh aapse pyaar nahin karta to aapke liye apne pariwaar ke usulon ko nahin torta. Its what I admire in my husband.' Bani said proudly. 'But that is also what I cant live with. The thought that he had loved my sister. I never questioned his love. I know he loves me. But this is a matter of trust and respect. He never gave me a chance to choose for him. He never had faith in me to believe that I could have accepted whatever happened, because I would have.' Bani said. 'But he never gave me the choice. He never trusted me enough. That hurts. Suddenly I find out that the man I thought was only mine was not. The woman in his past isn't really his past because she is my sister. Every time I will look at one of them I will remember that they shared something I only wanted for myself. Its about betrayal I suffered from both sides.'

'Why?' Pia asked. 'You have to thing why he did it. He didn't want to loose you. That is why he didn't tell you. He loves you Bani, go home and forget everything. It's in the past.'
'can you make me forget didi?' Bani questioned. 'can you make me forget everything I read in that mail. Can you erase all the thoughts from my mind? Can you erase the jealously I felt for an unknown woman who later turned out to be my sister? Or the images of both of you kissing on those photographs because if you can…then please..do it.' Bani spoke painfully.' Or better yet. Go back in time and erase what happened between both of you. You cant right?' Bani asked.
'Then don't tell me its in the past. Its your past, jijaji's past, maybe even Jai's past. But it isn't my past. I am tortured by it now! My present!' She took a deep breath and turned towards Pia again.
' I don't question Jai's love and I don't need your opinion on it. But if I ever need it you will be the first person I will run to you. After all you have a frame of reference don't you? We could compare notes.' Bani added tauntingly, pouring all the pain in her heart, word for word.

'That is no way to speak to your sister, Bani.' Pratham reprimanded her harshly when he saw Pia's face devoid of colour. 'she is trying to help.'
'Tell me how to speak jijaji?' Bani whispered. 'both of are getting back together aren't you?' She asked. She got her answered when both of them kept quiet and didn't even protest.
' You were the one who sent me that mail jijaji. You told me all these things I cant live with. Because of that I am unable to be with the man I love so much. For the first time I thought about ending my life because it hurt so much to keep breathing. To keep living. And now you are reprimanding me for my manners. Bahot betuka lag raha hai, haina? What do you want me to do? Go back..play happy family along with you whenever we meet?'

'Let go Bani.' Pratham said. 'if you keep angry and hurt like this it wont get you anywhere.'
Bani stood up in anger and was about to leave when Pia stopped her.
'Bani, why are you doing this?' Pia asked. 'I never wanted to hurt you. I made mistakes. I lost a lot too. She cried. 'But I never wanted to harm you. Don't punish me like this.'
'Aapne khoya nahi didi. Aapne apne haathon se sab phenk diya. Un me who do cheezein hai jo mere liye sab se zaroori thi. Ek Jai…aur doosra woh baccha jisko aapne girwaaya.' Bani cried. 'Jai mera tha. Woh baccha mera tha. Un dono pe sirf mera haq tha didi..'
Stunned, as if their faces were carved in rocks, Pratham and Pia looked at Bani. Her words had cut right through them.
'In a lot of ways you deserve to be together.' Bani said tearfully. 'Neither of you think about the consequences of your actions. And then charmingly try to take it back. You cant take some things back and this is one of them.'
Pratham composed himself quickly.
'then what will you do? Live in a hotel forever. Bani you need to make a decision. Its not fair that you keep living like this and put your entire family through this.'
'No, I wont put them through anything. I know what that does to a family. 'Bani answered back while directing a meaningful glance towards the couple opposite her. I need to take a decision, soon. Bani threw a handful of notes on the table for the untouched coffee, picked up her bag and walked out of the restaurant without a backward glance.

Jai paced his office. He came to the office, but his attention was all over the place. He felt himself being thrown in limboland. Not knowing where his life was heading too. The only thing he wanted to do is bring back the woman he needed in his empty life. The only thing he did was pray that she would come back soon. Aditya and Ranveer tried to thwart the attentions of Mausi and Jigyasa. Dadi came from her brothers house and stayed with them again. Mausi needed the comfort of her friend. No matter how many times and in how many ways mausi asked, Ranveer and aditya didn't divulge anything. The worst part was seeing Anu tiptoeing around everyone and listening for a phone ringing in the house. Her exams were nearing and she couldn't concentrate, just like the rest of the family whose attention were only focused on Jai and Bani.

Jai picked up his briefcase and decided to leave the office for the day.
He couldn't help remembering that 14 days ago he was with Bani. Doing everything both of them had loved to do in a faraway plade where they were the only two persons who mattered.
He didn't drive home today. He went to the beach and sat down there. Waiting for the rest of the day to pass by. His phone rang suddenly and his heart leapt in joy when he saw the name of the caller.
'Bani.' He answered in a breathless whisper.
He didn't heat her answer. But he didn't need to. Her silence told him enough.
I'm sorry. Jai spoke. I cant think of anything else to say or do except say sorry. And I am.' Jai felt his entire body shake when he tried to hold back his tears.

In the centre of the city, at half an hours distance, Bani sat in front of the window of the hotel room looking at the cars pass by. People were going about on their jobs like everyone normally did. Couples walked by laughing with each other, talking to each other. Families were sitting in restaurants enjoying their dinner and made Bani long for her old life. The life where she did not know anything and was happy in her own world. Her life before anything happened. She felt like a different person now. someone who saw the world through a new pair of eyes, or through a new and darker frame. Her life was taken away from her, without her permission and there was no way she could change it back, It wouldn't be the same anymore.

'I don't know what to do to take away the pain I have caused you. I am so sorry sweetheart.'
The large crack in Banis heart widened a bit more when Bani heard Jai's voice and the tone in which he spoke.
'I know you are sorry.' Bani said. 'I am sorry too.' She answered softly.
It was silent on the other side. Bani could hear waves crashing against rocks. Birds loudly demanding food. She could imagine Jai sitting at the beach, on the rocks, where he had taken her with ice creams in their hands.
'Ghar kyun nahin gaye?' Bani asked him. 'Raat hone waali hai.'
Jai sighed with tears in his eyes. 'Tum ghar nahin aa rahi ho na?' he asked what she couldn't say on her own. Her soft sobs answered him.
'Kyun?' He wanted to know.
'Because I cant. Sab badal gaya hai.'
'Kuch nahin badla.' Jai argued. ; Main nahin badla, ghar nahin badla. Humaara pyaar nahin badla. Tum aaj bhi mujhse pyaar karti ho….karti ho na?' he asked softly.
'Haan.' Bani couldn't speak properly without bursting into tears.
'To phir?'
'Mai badal gayi hoon.' She whispered.
'mujhe koi farak nahin parega.'
'Mujhe to parega na. Mai tumhe ek aise insaan ke saath kaise rehne de sakti hoon jo tumhe koi khushi na de paaye. Everything feels so tainted Jai.'
Don't say that.' Jai pleaded. 'maana ki humari shaadi ko ek saal huwa hai, but we have seen different phases in our relationship. We got through them. We can overcome this too. I trust out love.'
The silence nearly killed him.
'I cant forget Jai.' He heard her say. 'Not for a moment, not for a minute. The image of you and her. The other things I could forget or ignore for a while. Tum pehle mujhse khush nahin the par sab mujhse bahot pyaar karte the. I could forget the rest for a while. Jab mere operation huwa mujhe khud se nafrat hone lagi lekin jab jab tum meri taraf dekhte the….I could forget it for a while. But I cant forget this. It stays with me. Jab mai aanken kholti hoon. Jab main aanken band karti hoon. It stays with me.'
'Please ghar aa ajao.' Jai pleaded. 'Everything will be fine. Mai promise karta hoon, I will do anything to make everything like it was. Make you forget everything. I promise I will do anything to make you happy again.'
'It wont change a thing. '

'You don't love me anymore.' Jai childishly accused her after a long silence. Bani chuckled through her tears when she heard his voice and could imagine him pout.
'I wish I didn't.' Bani answered. 'Then I wouldn't care whether I made you unhappy and I would come back home. But I do care. I don't want to keep punishing and hurting you for something that happened a long time ago. Or because of a lie or motive you had when you married me. I met you because of that and fell in love. But I cant come back and promise you that I wont hurt you when I am reminded of something. I still feel betrayed.'
'What if I don't care whether you hurt me or punish me?' jai asked. 'What if I accept every punishment you want to mete out to me?'
'But I care Jai.' Bani cried. 'I cant do that to you. Or to myself.'
''you are not willing to fight for our marriage?'
'kis se laru Jai? Khud se ? tumse ? pia didi se ? sab to mere hi apne hai Jai ? mai kis kis se laru ?'
He didn't answer for a while and just listened to the sobs on the other side.
I still love you. he said.
I love you too. Her voice cracked, just like the decision she had taken. Jai knew instantly that he only would have to ask her one more time to come back home and she would come back, but he couldn't. Even though he promised to take away her pain he couldn't guarantee it and he couldn't let her live with the bitter reminder of his betrayal constantly in her life and in front of her face.
He just held the phone to his ear, minutes on end, even when no one spoke.
Go home Jai. Bani mumbled when the sun had set. They must be waiting for you.
Jai smiled ruefully and walked away with the phone still clutched in his hand and pressed to his ear. Ill keep waiting. was the last thing he said before he disconnected the call and drove himself home.
**
someone knocked on the bedroomdoor Jai had closed after he entered the room. He was yet to share the news with his family members, but first he needed to gather some courage. The knocking didn't stop and Jai knew that there were only a few people in this house who would be knocking like this to speak to him, but Jai had not imagined that his father-in-law would be standing on the other side.
Jai greeted him and let him entered. Ranveer and Aditya quickly followed Nishikant.
'I'm sorry Jai.' Nishikant spoke softly, not being able to face Jai.
'Mujhe yeh pata nahin ki mai kya kahu tumse.'
'Bani called you didn't she?'
Nishikant shook his head. 'She came home. And told us her decision. Mujhe yakeen hi nahin aa raha hai ki…'Nishikant couldn't finish his sentence. 'I'm sorry Jai. Mere hi parvarish me shayad koi kami reh gayi thi jo meri beti apna hi ghar chor kar chali gayi.' Nishikant stood in the corner, avoiding the glances of his son-in-law and his familymembers.
'papa. Aap kya keh rahe hai?' Jai pulled a chair and made Nishikant sit down.
' Bani ne aapse kya kaha?' Jai asked. 'Tell me papa.' Jai insisted when Nishikant kept quiet.
With tears in his eyes Nishikant looked up. 'Woh aazaad hona chaahti hai. Tum dono me koi compatibility nahin hai. She feels restricted in her marriage and decided to end it. So she left you. Shaadi ke ek saal baad usko achanak laga ki woh khush nahin hai, apne career pe dhyaan nahin de sakti. Is baar to Pia aur specially Pratham to usko samjha nahin paaye.'
'Pratham?'
'Haan. Pratham waapas aa gaya hai Adityaji. Pia aur woh shaayed phir se….
meri hi kismat hai ki mai apni dono betiyon ko eksaath khush nahin dekh sakta hoon.' Nishikant mumbled tearfully.
Jai kneeled down in front of the Nishikant ingoring the disgusted looks on Ranveer and Aditya's faces when they heard Pia and Pratham's name.

'Papa, kya aap ko lagta hai ki Bani aisa kar sakti hai? Who mujhe is liye chorkar jaa rahi hai kyunki usko aazaadi chaahiye?'
'I don't know what to think Jai. Lately….I don't know what to think about my own children. I just came to apologize for my daughter's mistakes to you and your family.' Nishikant folded his hands. 'I never imagined that my daughter could disgrace me like this. Sab kya soochenge jab unhe yeh pata chalega ki meri beti ne apne ghar isliye chora kyunki ek saal baad usko koi compatibility nazar nahin aayi. Aur log meri bacchi pe nahin hasenge. Yeh society kitni bhi modern ho jaaye, aisi aurat ko koi izzat nahin deta hai.'
Jai quickly covered Nishikant's hands with his own.
'Bani ne jhoot bola. Woh mujhse bahot pyaar karti hai. Uski galati nahin thi, galati meri thi.' Jai said without holding back his tears. 'Usne mere liye jhoot bola. Papa I am sorry. I really am lekin woh….I cant convince her to come back. Who mere paas waapas nahin aana chaahti hai. Mai kya karoon?' Jai said resting his head against Nishikant's legs.
' I dont know Jai. I really don't know. Agar mujhe pata hota to mai…' Nishikant answered as he put his hand on Jai's head. 'I'm sorry too.'
Nishikant left quietly, but not before he apologized on behalf of his daughter to her in-laws.

'Jai, kya sachmuch Bani waapas nahin aa rahi hai?' Aditya asked.
'nahin.'
'Kyun?'
'Kyunki woh kehti hai ki sab badal gaya hai Ranveer. Aur mai usko yeh yakeen nahin dila sakta ki sab waisa ka waisa hi hai. I lost in the end. She didn't want to punish me for my mistakes but in the end punished me in the worst way she could have done. She left.'
Jai sat down on the bed and wiped his tears.
' I just wish everything was like it used to be. I wish I never would have met Pia or fallen in love

with her. I wish I never went to Delhi and met her again when she was married. I wish I never married Bani without knowing the whole story. I wish she never found out Jiju. She never should have know anything, not about the affair or the child Pia…. I wish so many…'
A stinging sensation appeared on Jai's cheek when he felt a hand strike across his face. He did not notice that he had closed his eyes until he opened them and saw his sister in fury glare at him, her hand still mid-air after she lashed out.
Ranveer and Aditya immediately pulled her away while Jai couldn't do anything but look down and avoid his sister's piercing glaze.
'Chor do mujhe.' Jigyasa shrugged of the hands that held her and looked at her brother once more.
'Teri wajah se Bani chali gayi Jai! Yeh sab teri wajah se huwa na ?! Mai to yeh poochne aayi thi ki Dixit-ji yahaan sharminda hokar kyun chale gaye lekin….'
She couldn't look at her brother anymore and turned around.
' Meri badduwa lagi hai us larki ko Aditya.' She said clutching the end of her sari in a tight grip against her chest.
'Us pariwaar ko meri badduwa lagi hai. Who bhi kiske kaaran? Iss…' she pointed at Jai. 'meri is bhai ki wajah se!'
'I always thought you were betrayed Jai. I never knew you could betray people.'
Jigyasa walked out of the room leaving the men behind.