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Word of Caution: It probably isn't the happiest story, but I had to get this idea out of my head lol.😆
--Also, don't mind my work too much. I am a writer in progress😆
A Story Told By Kalpana
'You're my best friend," I always told him. Actually, to me he meant way more than just a friend. I couldn't tell him that though. Was it worth breaking our friendship over?
Nah, nor was I ever brave enough. I had convinced myself that it didn't matter if we were an actual "couple". For me, it was enough to be able to see him everyday at work. To get to talk with him. Let him tease me a little with his words. Every time I saw him, I grew more attached to him. And I think I took that for granted. Now, I look back and think maybe I could have cherished those moments more. Enjoyed those moments to the fullest. But truth to be told, I did. I never took my moments with the guy for granted. Each time we interacted, he took a piece of my heart.
I was in love with the guy, in all honesty. It was not a petty little crush that you have over someone in grade school. It went way deeper than that.
Nor was my love a lustful art. In fact, to me it was never about attraction. It was about pure love. Attachment. Family.
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And one day, I heard him talking with his friends, and the house of dreams that I had built came crashing down.
You might think me oblivious, or stupid for not having known. But man, I was crazy in love.
I do not blame my best friend for being gay, nor do I oppose him for who he is.
If the world was against him for his being so, I would stand by his side and support him all the way through. We are friends that way, and I love him very much.
But my love for him did break me. Not because of his preferences, but because to me he was a potential future husband. My man. The guy of my dreams. And when your dreams come crushing down, it hurts.
It broke me to know that he can never love me because of something I don't have. And then there came a time, when I wanted to act more manly and make myself seem stronger for him.. I was delusional that way.
Truth is, that didn't matter. Fact was, I am a woman. And acting like a tomboy wouldn't change nothing. Nothing could change that. It was not about my behavior, it was about Who I am.
You are probably wondering did he ever find out that I loved him?
Well, I didn't see the point in telling him how I felt because I thought that would be a stupid idea. He couldn't return my feelings, and what was point of sending him down the guilt trip?
I ended up moving soon after, I really didn't want to. But my family circumstances were such.
In a way, I guess it was for the best. Unreciprocated love would only have caused me more pain in the end.
My first heartbreak. Raghav. He was gay. But he was one of a kind. I still love him. Because you know what, that feeling of your first love.. it never really goes away. It stays.
And I am thankful to my first heart break. It taught me the meaning of 'love'.
And that is how I experienced my first heart break. 💔
Arjun
Cricket
Indian Mythology
