Beete Lamhe~~ShraMan OS

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

Safire

@Safire

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#71

Anu!!!

I felt very sad while reading the first one but now I literally cried reading the alternate ending!!

Papa aur beti ki bathcheth sunkar i got so emotional...

Very well written,congrats👏

All the best for your exams!!

And i will miss you for sure😭

Quote

PrincessAshVik

@PrincessAshVik

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 8 years ago

#72

The first one was Beautiful!!! And I agree it is your best work! It was sad yet so beautiful!!

The alternate ending was also really nice!!!

Thanks for the PMs!!

Best wishes for your exams.:)

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

deltadawn

@deltadawn

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#73

Pehle to lakho sorry for ressing first and then unressing both writeups in one place here.

#1 -

Was beautifully painful dear.👏

And I agree it was one of your best works to date. Exam time me badi kushltaaye fut rahi hain aap ko. 😉

Shravan's pain was heart wrenching and I had ot take a minute to get out of the feeling of ugh.. aise show me hota to I would have stopped watching till they somehow made Sumo come back 😆 but that's general tendency. We like to be happy, doesn't ever lessen the effort of the writer.

Khup chaan pori, porgi mothi jhaali amchi 😉😆

The alternate ending was a consolation. Some consolation I will say. But still Shraman separated brings a pang of hurt always. 😭

Dekh ajaye to Suman ko maar dena is much better receive don forum than Shravan ko maarna 🤣

In the end About Page 8 -

We all said this to dolly too and the girl took it as a joke, but did not budge to change her original storyline.

Teri itni achchi dost hai, usse ye baat jaroor seekhna.

Gyaan over now

🤗

chlal padhai kar ab 😉

Quote

vimikrao

@vimikrao

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#74

Originally posted by: anukulgr8

😭😭<font face="Comic Sans MS, Times, serif">Yaar Vinu hell sorry ...mujhe laga itna emotional nahi hoga re...
Sorry itna rulane ke liye...
Par ye toh batao pasand aaaya ya nahi???

</font>

What should I tell now? Whether I liked it or not, sad kisiko pasand ati hai nehin pata but I really don't like sad stories. 😭 I never read sad stories, if I have to buy novels I will make sure that is happy ending otherwise I will never buy 😲 ab tum batao what I should do now. In the show also they didn't show any tragedy, nobody died even after major heart attach Nanu didn't die that's why I can't see tragedy in Shraman story. I know life is not always happy, agar khushi hai gham bhi saat hoti hai but I can't see Shraman facing those..

U have written something unique subject but writing is good, only ending I didn't like, I m sorry to say.. 😭 lekin agli baar happy ending likhna taki make over ho jaye. 😉

Edited by vimikrao - 8 years ago

Quote

vimikrao

@vimikrao

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#75

Oh sorry actually I didn't see u have modified the story but still I m little sad Sumo couldn't survived.. 😭 😭 but OK tune kisiko toh bachaya..agar Shravan happy hai toh mein bhi Happy if he is not missing his Sumo because he has his daughter who is Sumo's carbon copy than I m happy with his happiness.. 😛

Thanks for modifying & PM

Vinu

Edited by vimikrao - 8 years ago

Quote

priety.priti

@priety.priti

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#76

thank you kiddo for compansation of all the tears i have shaded in last part 🤗

ashta was so cute 😊

nice alternate end

Quote

pinky.padda

@pinky.padda

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#77

made me cry again

so amazing

absolutely loved it

Quote

1095142

Hibernated

Posted: 8 years ago

#78

hello's and hi's

kaise hain aap?

main finally free ho gayi, no exams😆

tu bhi dolly se inspire ho gayi hi kya, sad ending 😭

par lekin hum starting se bolenge

hugs for the starting🤗🤗

godgi main utha kar ghumna 😳

pushkar be like aaj badha pyaar aa raha hai apni biwi par

and then sumo=laal tamatar😳😳😛

and Sumo kitni dramebaaz hai, yeh nahin ke seedhe batado but main tumse baat nhi karti tum apne bacche ko mujhse zyada pyaar karoge😛

aapki mummy mujhe aapse milne nahi dee rahi...yeh har baar Sumo tiwari killa main chali jaati hai😛...and then shravan bhaaga bhaaga uske peeche aata hai😆😆

itna blush mat karo warna dusra room banvana padhega...what do you mean..ya li'l nasty😃

and then starts the rona dhona part😭

poor shravan i pity him, humesha he's the one with all the hardships😭

tumne Sumo and bacchi dono ko kyun maar dala??

doctor change karo!! abhi!!

ut the last part was really beautiful just like maine jo first shraman story padhi thi 'the nerd' uske andar bhi Shravan kept her alive by her memories

not to forget the song choice was👏👏

but then you made me go like😭😭😭

koi nahi n i'm gona read the alternate ending and then comment on that too, soon

and haan check your pm box

Quote

Dolly Chouhan

@Namiksfan

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#79

Originally posted by: deltadawn
Pehle to lakho sorry for ressing first and then unressing both writeups in one place here.
#1 -

Was beautifully painful dear.👏

And I agree it was one of your best works to date. Exam time me badi kushltaaye fut rahi hain aap ko. 😉

Shravan's pain was heart wrenching and I had ot take a minute to get out of the feeling of ugh.. aise show me hota to I would have stopped watching till they somehow made Sumo come back 😆 but that's general tendency. We like to be happy, doesn't ever lessen the effort of the writer.

Khup chaan pori, porgi mothi jhaali amchi 😉😆

#2

The alternate ending was a consolation. Some consolation I will say. But still Shraman separated brings a pang of hurt always. 😭

Dekh ajaye to Suman ko maar dena is much better receive don forum than Shravan ko maarna 🤣

In the end About Page 8 -

We all said this to dolly too and the girl took it as a joke, but did not budge to change her original storyline.

Teri itni achchi dost hai, usse ye baat jaroor seekhna.

Gyaan over now

🤗

chlal padhai kar ab 😉