Aj Jaane Ki Zidd Na Karo - A ShraMan OS - Page 10

Originally posted by: sapphire3

Unressed at pg 4

N for this masterpiece you deserve Damon wali jhappi!!!

Originally posted by: Vyshnav

The alternate ending was so emotional!😭

Loved it❤️

Originally posted by: reshmanair356

I have read all your works . ..each one of them . .you are such a beautiful narrator...keep up the good work...though the second ending killed me . ..I will still applaud you for that :)

Originally posted by: CarpeDiem_

These stories are like breather in prison world!!

Can't be depicted better...

❤️

Originally posted by: sapphire3

Reading for the 4th time in a day !!!!
Woah I'm crazy!! 😆
Prii meri jaan! Maine khud ek baar padha hai🤣

Aaj fir rone ki tamanna hai 🤣
Meri chunnu munnu si eyes aur choti ho gyi ro ro ke
Arey behen bas kar ja, cheeni ban jayegi ab 😆

Haal kaisa hai janab ka? 😆
Okay me signing off!
Shabba khair!!!


Don't be scared of Damon overdose 😆
There is no such thing as Damon overdose, this is therapy!!

I promise it is last one 😳

Originally posted by: devilaonmoon

Oh hell, yes!!!

Good to see you back with a new work.

It's great to be back!

It was a very emotional one, just the way I like. 😃

But please keep Shravan virgin here as well😆, let it be like he was trying to jalaow-fying his Sumo. 😭

Bechara virgin hi mar gaya iss mai.. I'm damn cruel na!

Of course, I want a happy ending despite how much I love tears until then. 😳

Updt soon, pls. Will be waiting eagerly.

Updated hon...

P.S. Loved the end bit the most, when Shravan cried right after Sumo left. 🤗

Glad you did...

Lots of love,

Lara.

Originally posted by: trayee

such a heart touching story aftr a long long tym...i still cant stop my tears...i cried hard feeling shravan suman...i jst cant say anything...i wanna read thos again ...so pls...
thanks dear...fr such a tragedy...i loved ur writting skill...

Originally posted by: anonymousanju

zoya finally read ur all OS's...when I was reading ur first os, I had thought a tag for u ..."OS QUEEN" (priyam maafi if I hurt u..but couldn't resist myself from giving zoya this tag...after all bandi itne mast OS'S likhti hai...)

Well I'm hardly even that good... Itna sar pe mat chadao.. We have a really amazing bunch of writers here... Thanks though😳

n about the os now...warning se pehle hi i had understood ki ek me to pkka rone wali hu mai ...as I'm an emotional girl ..strict from outside n emotional from inside...pehle I read sad ending cause if I'D have read it later, I'D have been crying n thinking all day about it..so pehle sad ending n then happy ending...;) from the beginning actually the scene MIGHT'VE LIKE this...I was getting irked THAT time as they were showing only complications BETWEEN shraman...pyar dikhana tha to complication ...khair LEAVE IT...how sumo started feeling uneasy...guilt ENGULFED her too coz she knew she was one of the reasons behind his miserable CONDITION or can say the main reason...she walked to the park where they used to meet, FIGHT, enjoy...ah these things...love them...n she started murmuring thinking of all the FIASCO ...n then the sound in dark APPROACHING her...I'D an inkling it must be shravu...n yay it was him...this man deserves salute...he's hurt, broken to the EXTENT that's not easy to mend, dying each n everyday...TRIES to hate her or can say TRIED so many years to hate but always ended UP loving her...no matter wat happens, he always cared for her...was always there for her...even after BOILING in anger, he followed her, JUST to check whether she reached home safely or not...who else knows her better than him...how she started walking hurriedly, n shoes GOD they're the backstabbers ...always break when you're in trouble...how she was death hell scared...n he on the other hand, just kya bolu yar ...n FINALLY after REALIZING it was shravu, how much RELIEF she felt...n poor girl was dialing his no...they're JUST impossible for gods sake..she TRIED to protest but he like a gentleman , no I'D drop you...doing this for myself as selfish motive...well he was right...he could NEVER have been able to bear, if anything would ever happened with her...n his dialog shravan please wat leave me, take me or wat...lol... n sumo no leave me ...but all SHE wanted was to live in his embrace forever...n finally she held his hand n pain well I know THAT pain u can barely walk with twisting ankle :( and finally kbtk apni iklauti love life ko pain m dkhta just utha lia in bridal style...n aj nahi sumo aj nahi ...GOD kaise mana krti ...n near car...when she didn't respond...GOD he was death scared...did she pass away...though IT was heart breaking according to SITUATION, but I was LAUGHING...jute mat marna behna pls ...adat se majbur...:-p no CHANCE sudharneka...

Laughing? Well I didn't know I could do comedy in a serious set up😆

n finally she became CONSCIOUS...n in car finally they needed to talk n jb he said he's leaving for LONDON, GOD I was like ni pls pls mt jao ...(CHARACTER m kch zyada hi ghus gyi);) ...her questions n his answers how he applied break with a jerk n spit out his venom n sumo ka question why did you sleep with her...lol...ACTUALLY shravu k jgh koi or hota to bolta ladki pagal ho gyi h ;) n finally she left with heavy feet...ab NOT HAPPY ENDING ...itna roi hu I CAN'T tell u...I was well PREPARED with tissues as u already had warned...I felt numb...his phone kept ringing n he thought its his father when it was sumo...hate ramu from core...he's such a ruthless beast in disguise of a father...n the dialog "tum reh jao jaate jaate, to sajde me jhuk jaun "..."ek bar keh do ruk jao, sau baar ruk jaun "...GOD it was the bestest promo for me...n will be ever...n finally both spoke their HEART'S out...but destiny, why the hell it had to be cruel...hell with it...but can't do anything about it...we've no control over it...we all have COME with limited no of days...n I know hmesha HAPPY ending is not possible...n the truck driver...f**k off you DRUNK bas***d...took life of a man, who was ABOUT to start LIVING his life with the one whom he always dreamed of...n at last 3 kids...I knew it sumo would never marry that ass...he's the one who ruined EVERYTHING...GOD hell i hate him...

You do realise that was my doing right? Poor truck driver was a creation of my mind😃

sorry for connecting it to show but I just CAN'T help it...hate this GUY to core...stole everything from shravu...his maa, n now his love...be HAPPY...DON'T cry REMEMBERING me..smile...live my life also...GOD this man always had heart of pure gold...n he always was there for with her...with SCORCHING sunlight, rain, SOOTHING cold breeze...pct business kamal ...man I just love this man...n EVERYONE was settled...ramu guilt m MAR that's wat u DESERVE ruthless BEAST in disguise of a father...nanu too died ...must be playing chess with shravu..n pushkie got wat he DESERVED...crying miserably still that I can't describe all incidents...bus ab or ni hora mere se...

Thank you! Not for crying, for mentioning all that you've liked ...

ab HAPPY ENDING ni to COMMENT v type ni hona mere se fr ...GOD I wish ramu ko I could kill...barbad kr dia shraman ko COMPLETELY...but FINALLY sumo u really needed to do this...ordering him n finally confessing ur feelings...u guys needed to do that a long ago...n both stayed in each OTHER'S embrace...he stayed there ...GOD loved it...

Glad!

zoya ...I know my COMMENT is pretty long ...

Pretty long? This is the longest comment I've seen in the history of comments, and I've been here a while. Must have been quite tedious, thanks for putting in the effort!

but I can't HELP it...adat se majbur...keep writing such BEAUTIFUL OS'S...one after one...thanks a lot for pm...will wait for next pm dear...:) I wish this happy part would've HAPPENED in serial...it was HEART TOUCHING zoya ...

Thank you...
n ha one more thing which movie's song is this?? loved it yar...it was fitting the situation badly...added more emotion in the story..

It's a solo sung by Habib Wali Mohammad, a Pakistani singer in the year 1973.

Originally posted by: Jerry2308

breathtaking OS... can't stop my tears.. especially when shravan was telling her about their kids Nd that she has live for both of them... beautifully penned

Originally posted by: CarpeDiem_

There is nothing like 'Damon overdose' 😳