Shraman ff- Destined - thread 1 - Page 12

Created

Last reply

Replies

1.1k

Views

177.7k

Users

82

Likes

2.2k

Frequent Posters

Itssanjh thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: Sunain

Hiii Sanjh!!!
sorry for being this late..😳
Coming to upii..

Woah Man!!!
Tht was totally amazing...beautifully penned..loved it!!
Tht Alisha was such a bi**h...how cud she..such a meano...she played with him..he was on wheelchair cuz of her n she..she was the last one to worry infact not worry at all bout him..she left him midway
.whn he needed her the most..how cud she..how?? 😡 thn she came to invite cum insult him for her wedding..she was literally mocking at him..which pissed me off to hell 😡

Sumo nay bikul theek kiya..akal thkanay laga di...hy Sanjh how bout thy attend the wedding i mean Shraman together just to irritate Alisha..haan..nice idea na...just a sugestion u can add in ur story..it'll be fun😉
If no thn ignore it..

Coming back..
He told her the whole story n kept on reading her face..tht was woah!!
Thn the way she said agar mein hoti tu mein kabhi ap ko nhi chorti...Man tht was the nailing point..was imagining Shravanz reaction..surely he wud be shocked..cant wait to knw wht happens ahead..
how their bonding will grow..how thy'll come closer..plz plz update soon.

All n all...was an outstanding upii...loved it😃



Hey thanx a lot.😊..yes, I have had this in my mind while writing that Alisha wala part! they will go together at her wedding! And they should have their own moments too, 😳what say! Let's see what can be done with these too... 😉
Itssanjh thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: krutish22

Thanks for PM
Very Good Update
Do continue


Thank you... 😊
Sunain thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: Sb1185




Hey thanx a lot.😊..yes, I have had this in my mind while writing that Alisha wala part! they will go together at her wedding! And they should have their own moments too, 😳what say! Let's see what can be done with these too...😉



Yaaa...who doznt want Shraman moments...everybody wants it..so bring it on dude😉
super duper excited for tht part...n rite now m imagining Alisha's jalkukra facail expression😆
N do add something like in her jealousy she ruins her own wedding zara usko bhi tu saza milay...
how bout Alisha in her jealousy wants to teach a lesson to Sumo..byy ummm..adding something in her drink n accidently ya phir Shravan sumo ko baja lay from drinking it aur Alisha pee lay n thn in her drunken state woh apnay saray dirty secrets reveal kar day...kitna maza aay ga thn u can use her as a villian in ur story..😃

Sorry yar excitement mein kuch bhi bolay jaa rahi hoon..just take it as a sugestion agar pasand na aay tu ignore it..sorry once again...its ur story n u can drive it the way u want😳

N Shraman moments woh tu definately chahiyay..puray puray aur zaada zaada chahiyay😛😳
Hope u didn't mind..kya karoon cudnt restrain myself..
Itssanjh thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: Sunain



Yaaa...who doznt want Shraman moments...everybody wants it..so bring it on dude😉
super duper excited for tht part...n rite now m imagining Alisha's jalkukra facail expression😆
N do add something like in her jealousy she ruins her own wedding zara usko bhi tu saza milay...
how bout Alisha in her jealousy wants to teach a lesson to Sumo..byy ummm..adding something in her drink n accidently ya phir Shravan sumo ko baja lay from drinking it aur Alisha pee lay n thn in her drunken state woh apnay saray dirty secrets reveal kar day...kitna maza aay ga thn u can use her as a villian in ur story..😃

Sorry yar excitement mein kuch bhi bolay jaa rahi hoon..just take it as a sugestion agar pasand na aay tu ignore it..sorry once again...its ur story n u can drive it the way u want😳

N Shraman moments woh tu definately chahiyay..puray puray aur zaada zaada chahiyay😛😳
Hope u didn't mind..kya karoon cudnt restrain myself..


That's a great idea! N of course u can suggest anything, I am happy that u r involved with this story so much! Big 🤗 for that and let's see...i think Suman is the one who should get drunk and do something horrendous to Alisha! Let Shravan sit and enjoy! 😉
Sunain thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago

That's a great idea! N of course u can suggest anything, I am happy that u r involved with this story so much! Big 🤗for that and let's see...i think Suman is the one who should get drunk and do something horrendous to Alisha! Let Shravan sit and enjoy!😉


haan... tht'll be fun...thn the wedding wud turn into an amusement park or a theater😆
OMG!!!M grining like an idiot by just imagining it😃
U gotta hurryup cuz now i can't wait anymore...
n han don't forget to teach Alisha a fantastic lesson...let her face her karma..plzzZ
Itssanjh thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 8 years ago
Hiii all... OK...i need a suggestion here! I am going to introduce the character
Of Pushkar here. But should I write about preeti and pushkar's alliance or should I concentrate on Shravan and sumo only! Though I loved our PreKar in the show but at the end the show had become their story that annoyed me too like you all! Our shraman just sidelined! Please let me know...


Now here goes the next chapter!

Chapter 5


"I am not angry Suman, who will want to be with a cripple! Koi aur bhi hoti to shayad yehi karti! "
"absolutely not! Agar yehi situation mein, main hoti to main aapko kabhi na chodti!..."

Shravan was amazed, truly truly amazed! The girl, who, he thought fragile, when he first met her, had emerged as a strong willed girl! The girl, who, he thought shy, was actually a fighter! The girl, who, he knew just for 2 weeks, stood by his side in front of Alisha! The girl, to whom, Shravan opened up for the first time apart from his family! He sighed!

"Then I must say it's my bad luck, that you were not in Alisha's place"...Shravan smirked!

"You know, jab bhi sochti hoon ki main aapse thik se baat karun, aap kuch aisa bolte hoki mujhe..." Suman jumped as a man entered in the room with that much force as if he was about to rip that door out of its frame... " Pushkar.. "
"Woh ladki... Areee sumo tu yahan... " pushkar said with a big smile, his eyes were sparkling with excitement!

" she is my P.A chote! how do you know her" Shravan was curious seeing pushkar and suman hugging each other! "ohh she is the one... Main 2 hofton ke liye London kya chala gaya, yahan to bahut kuch badal gaya, " pushkar said.

"Arreee bhaiya, Sumo, mere saath college mein thi! The only one who was favourite of all the professors! I have even told you about her once! Our sumo wrestler, sabka band bajane wali "...Sumo laughed and whacked pushkar's arm!
Something flickered in Shravan's eyes! And yes Pushkar noticed! Shravan's face looked hopeful! The way his bhaiya looking at his p.a, the way he had constant smile on his face, whenever Sumo said something; made pushkar think...

"Tu kya soch raha hai?" asked Suman. "mmm nothing, bhaiya there is a meeting tomorrow with Agarwals, you remember? "..."oh yes, I have already read the file, and after reading, I think. ..." cutting him in mid sentence, pushkar said "why don't you come to office bhaiya? It's your presentation, you know all the points better!"

"No, pushkar! I can't. .It's just too uncomfortable! I just can't go there and... " Shravan sighed! "Why not, you can't be in home like forever, you have to go out and face the world!" Suman determined! "It's not easy, Sumo, it's not easy! "

"Only my friends calls me Sumo! ...and all my friends listens to me...so if you want to call me Sumo, then you have to listen to me. " sumo finalised.. ." you are going to office tomorrow and will attend the meeting ".
Pushkar was standing there and looking at these two, he knew Sumo, who was always like this, determined, always ready to face the problem! But he knew his bhaiya too, who was as stubborn as a bull, no one had this much guts to say something on his face! But Sumo did, and bhaiya listened! When Alisha left his bhaiya, he was so much broken that he refused to take medicines, to meet doctors, as if he was trying to punish himself for loving that girl! It was maa who convinced bhaiya... And it took 6 months! Now he could move his left hand, along with arm. But his leg was still in the same condition! Pushkar remembered what doctor had said about Shravan! Shravan could move his hand and leg only if he was mentally ready! It would be his will power that would help him. May be a shock, may be a thing, may be a person could help him. A person. ..right! Sumo was that person! Who could tame his bhaiya! Sumo had to be with him every possible way!

"tu phirse kuch soch raha hai! "...Now both Shravan and sumo were looking at him. " bhaiya kal sumo bhi to ayegi na?"

"ab she is my pa, she has to come! What say Sumo? " Shravan asked. "Sure.. .i will come." sumo answered with a victorious smile looking at both Shravan and Pushkar!


*****

Ramnath and Nirmala both were happy, their elder son would be accompanying them to office after 9 months! "This had to be the girl, Suman. She is a very good influence on Shravan " said Nirmala, while Ramnath was busy fastening tie! "I know Nirmala, pushkar told me about her! She seems a nice girl. "
"Mujhe to basss mera pehele wala Shravan wapas chahiye! "

"Chalein bhaiya? " Pushkar said knocking the door of Shravan's room! Rajni Amma opened the door with a huge grin, saying "Shravan baba bahut achche laag rahe hain aaj! " "really? Akhir bhai kiske hain... " pushkar paused, at that very moment, Suman entered, saying "Yeh Mumbai ki traffic ekdin meri jaan le legi! "

And Suman's heart skipped a beat! What she saw was mesmerizing! Shravan sitting in front of her wearing a black suit, his hair was combed, and he trimmed his beard, which had become stubble now! She knew he was good looking from photos she had seen! But in real he was way more good looking!
"What checking me out again ?" Shravan arched his eyebrows! Suman blushed heavily! "Anybody would, bhaiya! Chalein aab ?" pushkar was way to happy seeing his brother like this!

There had been some uncomfortable glances, murmurs.. But Shravan didn't care! He was too overwhelmed by the fact that he actually had come out of his home! And Suman, who was solely responsible for this! He looked at Suman who was walking by his side with such poise and confidence!

Shravan adjusted his wheelchair by joysticks of it, in front of the table of the conference room! Nobody was there except for Suman! The ticket of his new shirt was bugging him at his neck for long! He was just trying to pull it off with his right hand! Seeing him uncomfortable, Suman asked, "what's with you? Any problem? "

" Nothing my shirt's ticket is digging in my collar! I am just trying to snap it off, but it seems quite stubborn! "...

" let me see, " Suman leant and pulled the nylon tag that seemed really stubborn! "Don't you have scissors here? " Suman looked around! "This is a office Sumo, not some tailor's shop! "

"OK.. Then there is only one option. " Suman leaned over his shoulder, slightly peeling the collar, she took that stubborn, nylon tag between her teeth, the very process was so intimate, that Suman's cheek was touching Shravan's neck! Shravan stiffened. Her warm breath, her soft cheek, making Shravan wanting for more of her, something he wasn't expecting! He had buried this feelings long time ago! This girl was just resurfacing all the hidden desires!
For Suman, also it was something nerve racking! She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the scent of his cologne mixed with his own, feel of his skin against her, his skin which was getting hotter by her mere touch, made Suman linger a little bit longer there! Then the reality snapped, 'what am I doing ' she thought! She just pooled the tag and finally the tag gave up! "It's done... " at last!

Instantly Shravan felt the loss, He looked at Suman, whose face was tinted in bright crimson colour, he wanted to lighten up the situation . "Thank god, nobody is here! Warna kya sochte sab! Ek apahich admi ka fayda utha rahi thi... "

Suman blushed heavily! But she knew her closeness affected him as well! Being sumo, she wasn't going to stop so easily! " you should be happy, that it's your shirt, not your trousers, sir! "...Shravan gasped!

*****


After the meeting there was no such work, so Ramnath told Shravan to go home, and rest! It had been tiresome for him to be at his work place!

"So, if you are done today, may I go too? " Suman asked! "Itni jaldi, abhito bass 4 hi baje hain!" Shravan just wanted to stay with her, just to see her more, just to hear her voice more! "Sure... But what should we do!" ...
"hmmm.. .we are just spending so much time together, and I still don't know anything about you, so tell me about you... Your family, friends... Boyfriend.. .." Shravan was really not sure whether he wanted to know about her boyfriend! The very feeling of her being with someone else was quite irritating!

She told about her parents, how they died, how she came to Mumbai, how it was so much difficult, to adjust in the new family! Her favorite colour, favourite book, favorite movie, favorite song, everything! "What about your boyfriend?" ..."I have never had any..."...

It was 7 in the evening , Suman was ready to leave !
"Sumo,... "
"hmmm... "
"Would you like to come with me? "
"where?"
"At Alisha's marriage? "


That's it for today! This chapter is the base of next chapter! Get ready for the next one.. .what say sunain.. .

Ps: thank you all for liking and encouraging me... It means a lot! Again sorry couldn't reply to all your pm S. as my laptop has gone to hospital! It's really tiresome to reply from phone! Lazy me!
Pss: here pushkar is Shravan's own brother!


Chapter 6-page 22
Edited by Itssanjh - 8 years ago
Sunain thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
Res
****
Unres

Hiii Sanjh..!!
firstly m really sorry for the delay..hope u didn't mind😳
Secondly..the update..haahh..
Wht an update dude...was brilliant😉
Sumo said she wudnt hag had done tht...n stayed with him instead..which amazed him to core..hez still exploring her..n never fails to be amazed by her antics.
Pushkar entry was amazing...u pulled tht really nicely..Pushkar noticed the glint in Shravan's eyes in her presence..quite a good lawyer i can say..according to Pushkar Sumo is just like a ray of hopw in Shravan's life n only she can help him peal himself out off his miseries..n so is she.
Shravan was heastitating at first but on Sumo's insistance n encourgement he decided the other way..good going..
Pushkar himseld didn't missout anything.
Ohh tht office scene...alluring i wud say..😳
Tht part was really beautifully penned!!
the way u narrated their predicament in eachother's proximity was fantabulous
Shravan didn't wanted her to leave so soon as hez developing a habbit n desire to be just with her n spend lots n lots of time with her...seems like someone has fallen in love😃
Finally he asked her to escort him to Alisha's wedding...woah..this is going to be so so so much fun😆
N i believe to hear a yes from her for sure.
N yaa m hell excited for the nxt part..cant miss the entertainment cuming ahead😉
Tht day Sumo ki Sumogiri wud be on fire...so i guess i shud be prepared for the massive blast
.haan😆
Alisha baby...u r soo dead 😈
Anxiously waiting for the nxt upiii..
plzzZ keep it soonish..don't make us wait long😉

All in all u did a fantabulous job ⭐️
Arey mein tu Preekar kay baray mein bhool hi gae😛
Hummm...i wud suggest make it diff from the show..it cud be like Preekar always fight like mad cats n dogs n Shraman always endup resolving their issues n laughing at their siblings childlike antics.
N thn Preekar slowly slowly come closer..thn their alliances..wait how bout they fled to marry..but thn we'll miss Shraman romance..now see for urself wht convinces u the most i hope u wud hav received some other suggestions also😉
But han don't drag their part alot..as i also don't want thm or their lovestory to overpower Shraman's..😊
Taddaa!!
Edited by Sunain - 8 years ago
CarpeDiem_365 thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
My my... SM knocked down by Sumo...😳
Don't mind preekar,,if they aint overshadowing ShraMan...😛
Superlike the update ...update soon...😃
srividyasubbu1 thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
Read it. Too gud. Thanx to you writers tht are keeping EDKV characters alive. This is a different take to the story and I loved it. Just waiting for the next updates, so make it fast.
crazyparrot thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
Loved this part❤️ Now cant wait for next part!

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".