Part 11_
Sharavan let's start from start ...
(he shuddered, glancing anxiously at her face. He was stunned as her voice was as emotionless as her face... not a single trace of recognition as if she is talking to a wall... eyes static like she went to some kind of trance.
Sharavan you were 16 year old when your mother left ... right
Yes Suman
I was 6 year old when my parents died in accident ... do the math... What was the difference in age?
10 years
Good... you still had your loving dad to look after your needs ... You were living in your own home... I was an unwanted orphan whom no one wanted... A burden... snatched by destiny to become someone's unpaid servant... I was scared to ask for food ... I was afraid to wake up anyone in nights to accompany me to washroom ... I tamed my need ... yes Sharavan I tamed my needs not desires to live alone ... Life was a task ... with all the snaps and taunts from Mami and occasional beating was becoming part of my life. Now I have to learn how to serve food , make tea ... and keep quite ... I was good in studies but Mami always reminded me that they have to pay for my studies... beautiful life it was huh.. right Sharavan...
Sumo...
I am asking something Sharavan ... It was right ?
No ... it wasn't right..
Wrong Sharavan ... It was damn right ... My mother left me with debt ... who wants someone else's child in their home... so it was right...
Fir tum aaye ... I got a friend ... I was happy to be with someone ... someone ready to do everything for me ... For someone as menial as Suman Tiwari... Someone was waiting, doing homework ... fir mujse gunah ho gaya ... Main tumhare dukh main sath nahi the ... gunah tha ... aut tum bhe chale gaye ... Nahi dekha tha tab tak tumhara letter lekin fir bhe pyar ho gaya ... ye that dusara gunah...
Sumo please ... Main nahi sun sakta ... Please maaf kar do ...
Maafi kis baat ke... tumne kuch galat nahi kia hai... Yahi to bata rahi hoon ... deal hai Sharavan aur main deal kabhi nahi todti hoon...
Sharavan crying...
Now I was again alone ... Nanu se kuch kah nahi sakti the... Graduation ke baad main bhe padhna chahti the ... Par Mami ne yaad dilaya ke mujhe to mere Maa ka karz chukana hai... so I opened PCT ... to keep a faded memory of someone's face alive... But that name is nothing to even me anymore ... I lost her ... She slipped away ... making me all alone in this word ... you know why because few friends chose to walk over on her name... You know Sharavan ... priya is my mom's name ... She used to talk to me ... Used to come in my dreams ... she is angry with me... now Only nightmare visit me ...
Fir tum vapas aaye ... Fir maine tumhe apna dost samajhne ka gunah kia... Sharavan ye teesra gunah hua naa... please keep counting... mujhe abhi saza milni baqi hai... so Judge sahab please evidances ka hisab rakhte chaliyega...
Aha... party main jana tha apne ...pyar ke sath apne dost ke sath ... You persuaded me ... wooed me ...you tempted someone who was already in love with you... Bloody hell ... What a stunt you pulled ... brilliant ...humiliated me in front of everyone... Sharavan aaj tak tumne maafi nahi mangi ... That day you damaged my pride... Sharavan ... Kuch yaad aaya..
Sumo... Suman... sab mere galti hai... I am not human... I can't hear this please sumo... don't hurt yourself.
No Sharavan... I am not hurting myself... And be a man ... its nothing but rant of gold-digger... See sun is setting ... it's all gold right ... soon I will fly to get all this gold ... ha ha ha funny right...
Then something good happened ... you helped us ... I used to love you ... But suddenly I started respecting you as well ... You were my Sharavan ... my best friend ... So what if my love was was one sided ... but you were my savior... Tum fir badal gaye ... par mera trust tab bhe nahi tuta... mera chauta gunah... Let me tell me one funny thing ... I used to day dream about you all the time... tum naraz hote the to maan ko samjati the ke tum mujse nahi to kisse naraj hoge... I used to trust you so much that stood on a narrow terrace wall remembering one sisteen year old boy's word... Main tumhe kabhi girne nahi doonga... mera panchava gunah... You are counting Shravan...
Haan Suman I am counting everything... (Head down... face clouded with dark remorse) I lost my right to call you Sumo...
Now I will confess my sixth Gunah... Blunder ... making you meet your mother...Thinking that you will change after meeting your mother ... but it cost me my own mother ... Someone thrashed her name in dirt ... And Sharavan from the very same day she stopped coming to my dreams ...
Then god gave me golden opportunity ... To meet my mom... but unfortunate hoon naa ... I just lost it... but you were there looking after me ... I confessed my gratitude ... now there is some fill in the blank...
Nahi Suman koe fill in the blank nahi hai I know about papa and his blank cheque...
So what Sharavan ... Kya fark padta hai... main sab se neeche hoon sabki list main... aur tumhari list main bhe... par haan jaan gaye ho to ye bhe jaan gaye hoge kee kyo avoid karti the nain tumhe... You can ask why I got ready to marry Aditya...
Nahi mujhe pata hai... Please don't do this to yourself ... I know ... Everything.
Sharavan I feel his hands on my body every night ... This nightmare is just crippling me... Tum nahi bachate to main lifelong ye nightmare khuli aakhon se bardasht karti... So this is your debt on me... and trust me I will pay you with my life.
SUMO... Main aaisa nahi hone deta... Please.. Don't talk ... I can't manage it more...
Abhi nahi Sharavan ... ab to sab conclude karne ka time hai ... My seventh Gunah... maine fir se tum par trust kia ...Sharavan Malhotra I was very happy that I was going to marry you ... but you dragged me like everyone else ... sab yahi to karte hai... kisi ka karz hai... kow blank cheque deta hai... Koe apne relatives' ke taraf se baatain sunata hai... Jiske maa baap nahi hai... Vo kaise kisi kaa karz le... Ramnath uncle ke paise se shaadi karu ya tmhare paiise se ... Jo mujhe gold digger ... Selfish kahta hai...jisne ek baar bhe nahi socha ... ke kya hoga mera ... jub tum Aditya ko bataoge kee hamare beech sab kuch ho chukka hai... But don't worry ye tumne mujhse rishta todne ke baad kia hai ... tum too mere jhoothe dost bhe nahi the ... Fir kaise shikayat...
Please Suman ... stop please I can't bear it ... Crying miserably.
Sharavan... Tumse moh khatam hone main time laga but trust tab toota jab pata chala ke tumne mere bare main kee gaye baatain mujhe batana bhe jaroori nahi samjha... For you I was just a commodity to get your revenge ... Now I can remember why he was saying kee why I am pretending to be sanskari... when I did everything ... and why I can't give him a kiss... mujhe pata hota kee tumne aaisa kaha hai to tumhari baat poore karne ke liye main use molest karne deti apne aap ko... Tumne bataya kyo nahi... sharavan
Suman ... Sab mere vajah se hai... Aur ye kya bol rahi ho tum touch karne deti... Main maar dalta vahi usko...
Ha ha ha Sharavan... tum to mujhe use de hee chuke the... us din nahi to agle din ... Aditya to mujhe molest karta hee ... and don't lie to yourself Sharavan you were mentally prepared ... And yes galat kya hai... Mera kya status hai... Poor Suman Tiwari... gold digger Suman Tiwari... selfish Suman tiwari... I am not of your league... I am everybody's footrest Sharavan ... I was fool Sharavan ... I am a fool ...
Sharavan , he molest me every night ... Aditya touch me every night and he does it with you consent... now you are part of my nightmare Sharavan... After knowing that you told him that we did everything ...you have also become part of my nightmares ... You know what you do ... you just drag me towards him, handover me to him and then you stand there silently smiling.
Sumos... please can I hug you ... I will make everything right... please I need you...
But I don't need you and I am leaving PCT as well ... giving it to Preeta ... I have no dreams left now I just have to live my nightmares aur haan agar tumhare ghar main rahne kay liye tumaha bistar garam karna ho to bata dena... I won't ask anything in return... tumhare already bahut ahsan hai... Aditya se save kia hai to tum use kar lo...
Shut up Sumo ... you are killing me ...
Now let's talk about Mr Sharavan Malhotra... Prove your points please... tell me my mistakes
Suman sab mere galti hai... Tumhe kuch kahe bina ... Tumhe jane bina main bas blame karta raha ... apni insecurities ka badla main tumse leta rahi ... Tumne to hamesha maafi mangi aur kabhi kuch kaha to huq tha tumhara ... main jhooth bolta raha khud se kee main tumhara best friend hoon... par maine to tumhe sharminda hee kar dia... Please sumo maaf kar doo please ...
I have a request ...
Please Suman...
I want to sell my mother's jewelry for my food and other expenses and I will not eat in your house or use any of your things ... and you will not stop me to go to temples or gurudwara for my food and others things... I have always lived on charity ... now whatever life is left I will live it off on Gods charity .. I am done with humans ... And Sharavan I am very happy ... See I am smiling. You want to say something or hum ye jindagi ka case yahi band Karain...
(His heart went numb... with almost physical pain) You damaged her for life ... she is gone ... lost. I can't even touch her ... Ek aansoon nahi ... my Sumo ... sab chala gaya ... kahan se laoon eske haansi ...ab to main ek aansoon ke liye apni jaan de doon...Sumo atleast cry... par kuch to karo... This is not good.
She smiled broadly, surprising him ... (eyes void of any emotion) Sharavan, dont hold my hand in night ever ... i will deal with my nightmares alone. ( her voice cold and distant)
Ring_____
Nightmare standing in sunlight... His long shadow darkening both of them... First time he laughed.
Note_ nightmare haunts in daylight as well and they choke your voice for forever so you can not cry even last time ... and call loudly for HELP.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Udne Ki Aasha
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