And now I feel just numb...You explained it only too well... Who am I to you? How well do you know me?
I am the woman who would leave her child for her selfish gains...Though I know even your mother is not that.
I am the woman who would mercilessly plot to make someone's life miserable,also the one who would carelessly and selfishly go about demanding my wishes be fulfilled...
Thank you for letting me know who I am, Shravan...You have just opened my eyes.
And also for letting me know who you want me to be. You want me to be the woman who warms her husband's bed, and gets her wishes fulfilled in return! The uncomplicated woman who would allow herself to be manipulated like a doll...and be happy so long as she can be a doll...Thank You. That is the greatest advice anyone has given me so far.
Why is it that you can't see me? Is it because you choose to see only what you want to see? Why do you think the worst of me at all times? Why does that come so easily to you?
Do I have to beg you to stop for a second and see me as I am?
Who am I, Shravan?
I am just a girl. If I say I am an orphan, you'd say I am digging for sympathy- so I will not say that.
I am just a girl. But I do know I am not the only girl. For I belong to generations of women who have had to adjust, sacrifice, give up on their dreams...for their parents, their brothers, their husbands, their children.
Some have been acknowledged for the same, some have been taken for granted. But I know I am not alone.
I have been asked to compromise many a time...why do you think I see to it that my li'l sister's dreams are never shattered...why do I make sure her every whim comes true...It is because I don't want her to go through what I have gone through. If she can have a life every woman deserves to have, let her. Let her live her life for every dream of mine that has been refused.
Who am I? I am just this girl. What do I want? ... There was a time I thought you'd understand...
...
I just want to make sure the people around me are happy, Shravan. I don't have any big dreams anymore. I am scared to wish for anything for myself...Just plain scared.
I'd rather live knowing my reality...that I cannot bank on anyone...and if I ever do that , that'd be a debt I would be asked to pay up. It is just like you said. You did this for me, You did that for me...what have I done for you?
What have I done for you, Shravan?...Will whatever I do ever measure up to what you have done for me? Now we both know the answer.
How much do you want me to compromise? Do tell me.
And you told me about the compromise you'd have to make tonight...
I am cold and numb...I don't even feel the pain anymore. I just hope I'll never have to regret I gave my heart to you. And I don't even know why I wish anymore.
Good Night.
PS: The episode was so gripping.👏 Back in the Sumo bashing days, I remember arguing over so many posts about Shravan getting to know Suman and appreciating her for WHO SHE IS. Yesterday was the script getting just there. I am so very much bowled over by the writing, I must say.😳
It is not about a hate wedding or a triangle or a mother- son reconciliation.
When I watched the promo of this show, what struck me was Shravan's attitude towards women...it was such a realistic portrayal of a man who calls himself cultured, yet he is narrow minded enough not to see that he is blind...Had been such a fascinating aspect of his character. It is so benign on the outside..After all, he is handsome, he is young and successful..and all he is asking for is a wife who would stick to him. But how well does he know this person he has loved for so many years? What in the world does he know of her!
Excited for the answers Shravan himself will be seeking in the coming episodes.
😊
Udne Ki Aasha
