Posted:
Chapter 14.
Present.
Shravan:
My fingers tremble when it came to unlocking the door of my own bloody house. The house I had left a few months back. I let out a low sigh and opened it.
And, then coughed.
The whole house has a sheen of dust covering everything that was there.
But that wasn't my concern. My whole mind was bursting with memories that didn't seem to have any end.
I had kissed Suman against this door. I had pinned her down on that corner couch. On the kitchen counter we had made out like there was no tomorrow to follow.
I walked to my room and it was as if another Pandora box just opened up. We had made love on this - my- bed for god knows how many times.
Looking out at the balcony, I remembered how we always had beautiful conversations there.
But those conversations were always so much about her and not a little about me. And I had wanted it that way.
I sighed again.
If this house is reminding me of the tons of memories that I had carefully exempted myself from by being away, I wonder how Suman ever coped up. This whole goddamn town held memories for both of us. And she had endured them all, while I had been away. While I had chosen to be away out of my own selfish interests.
She was surviving; breathing. But alive? I doubted.
And it hurts me so terribly to think that I had given her so much of pain. So much hurt from which she'd have to recover to continue her life properly - with or without me, that I was unsure of - with happiness that she deserves.
I slid down on the dirty floor. And press my palms on my face.
I wasn't sure if I was going to break down but I did. And I think it was necessary. If I had to be her support I had to be free of my own baggage.
I cried. I wasn't sure if I had so much of my own hurt to deal with it. I thought I was doing fine. But no, I was not.
In that little moment, I realised, all of this was going to be a hell of a task. And that I was like that glass that had cracks and couldn't handle anymore.
I was disintegrating.
---
Suman:
"I want to go home, Pushkar." I whined softly to him. He had been like my brother now. A good support system.
"God. Sumo! You are a doctor yourself. Right now you can't go. Doctors have said no. They have to put you for observation because you have hurt yourself pretty bad. So shut up." Pushkar scolded me. And that made me frown and shut my eyes.
"Chottey, Preeti is calling you. She came from college right now." It was Shravan.
No doubt it was him. How could I ever forget that voice. That smooth voice that had its unique rough edges. I bit my lip and didn't open my eyes.
But, I heard the shuffling of feet and I thought maybe he had walked away. I opened my eyes only to see that it was Pushkar who had left, while Shravan stood still on the door. I sighed and shut my eyes again.
Why, why was he back?
"..Are you hungry?"
I did not respond to him. But I felt his big hand grab my smaller one.
"..don't Shravan. It hurts." I winced. I had multiples tubes which were removed earlier today and it hurt.
"Oh my..I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Sumo." I felt his lips hover on the skin of my hand where my skin was punctured with those numberless tubes.
But more than pain, I...I felt good.
And that sucked. I should not be feeling good just because he was close.
"Go away." I groaned. My throat felt parched and rough.
"Please Sumo." He whispered.
"You don't want to talk to me? It's okay. Don't talk to me. But please don't push me away." His hands caress my hair but I felt my blood boil.
---
Shravan:
"I am pushing you away?" She looked at me incredulously. And I knew, it hurt her vulnerable nerve.
"Sum.."
"No!" She cut me off and whisked her hand away from mine.
"I am pushing you away? Or you had pushed me away? All this while it was you.." She spit venomously. And she was justified but it hurt me terribly.
"You who..left me.. Who broke me, Shravan." Her voice faltered and I felt million needles prodding my heart.
"Who didn't love me, when all I did was love you." Her voice held pain. Her eyes were brimming with tears and I honestly did not know how to ease it. How to relieve her from her pain. And how to stop making her think. To make her believe that even though I did a mistake that wasn't easy to forgive, but if I got a single chance I would make it fine.
I wasn't sure she'd believe any word I'd say though. So I did what i thought was best. I leaned over her and kissed her softly.
Shutting her up and trying to distract her for a few moments, and possibly also conveying how much I love her. I do. It took me a lot of time to realise that but I now do understand.
I sucked on her lower lip and earned a soft moan. I thought she might have pushed me away in anger but nope, she was kissing me back.
Her nimble fingers clutched my shirt to pull me closer. I was lying over her carefully, in a very awkward position but that wasn't important.
The fact that I was kissing her after months, was.
My fingers caressed her cheek and the side of her neck and she whimpered and I was sure it wasn't because of pain.
Eventually I pulled back because I had to breathe really desperately.
"Shravan, please." A tear escaped her eyes and I couldn't hold back my own single tear that dropped on her cheek. I wiped it away.
"Please don't push me away. Please let me make it alright, Sumo. Please." I pressed my forehead against her, cupping her face with all the gentleness I could.
"Please." I pleaded.
---
A/N -
Hi guys.
Late update?
I'm sorry. Like always. My life got in a really bad mess. And I apologise.
I hope this chapter made you all feel their pain? I, for one, am not sure if this was any good chapter but I am hoping it was.
Also, the story will mostly be now in present. The past is done, mostly.
And yes a lot is there to unfold.
Please drop your reviews. Much, much appreciated.
Love,
Palak.
Health and Fitness
