Bachpana...

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TeriKhamoshiyan

@TeriKhamoshiyan

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

Honestly, after watching today's episode I'd like to first of all BLESS the CV's of the show because these people are amazing. Literally the pacing of the show and how these two characters are progressing, it's just too real for me to process that this IS in fact an Indian serial.

Truly, CV's take a damn bow. You people deserve it.

Moving on, today's episode was just perfect in every essence. I loved how we were given a more realistic spin on events with somewhat of an typical Indian spin. Honestly, I've been with Shravan from the beginning and not just because I, unreasonably am willing to support the male lead regardless of what he does, but because I truly support him more than I do Suman.

And today's episode just reaffirmed my stance.

As a firm believer in not supporting characters blindly, trust me, when I say Shravan should not be hated for his actions. Also, I feel that it is necessary to point out that Shravan is not entirely right as either, BOTH of them have played their roles in their pain. Ek taraf se sab kuch nahi hota, it's just not possible.

Yes, the manipulation on Shravan's part, I understand how it can be extreme and was not the right way to solve this problem, but we cannot ignore why he went out of character and took this extreme action. This was needed. She needs to understand the hurt her words and actions have caused. We also can't overlook the fact that Shravan did ignore her at first, it was only after their confrontation that old wounds reopened. Specifically, when she said that everything that happened was nothing, that ladies and gentleman was the last straw. And also, I really feel like Shravan's so-called "revenge" was more for him than to get back at Suman. For a person whose actions and words have had such a profound impact on his life, for them to throw those in your face like they were nothing, hurts. And he wanted Suman to understand that, not to solely hurt or humiliate her, but to make her realize the impact of her actions on him as a person.

We've seen through the countless flashbacks how insensitive and superficial Suman was. And I refuse to label that as bachpana. A word I've come to really despise, especially in the context of this show. I'm sorry if anyone feels otherwise, but Suman's actions CANNOT be dismissed as bachpana. That is not immaturity and neither is it foolishness. It's pure based off of who SHE was at that time. That was her personality. Her own, conscious decision. We cannot blame "adolescence" for her mistakes.

Yes, I understand that teenagers go through a series of changes and face many external pressures at that stage and are extremely influenced by their peers, but this. This goes beyond that. A person who clearly did and still does have some significance to you, regardless of how much you value your reputation, if he clearly is in need of your support, than as a FRIEND, it IS your responsibility to help him. And let's just say for a moment we forget about the fact that she didn't support him in a time where he needed her the most, the fact that she brought his personal matters in a public atmosphere, ridiculed his feelings towards such a sensitive topic, making him feel even more humiliated in front of the entire school. THAT is what REALLY bothered me. How as a PERSON can you let another individual feel so humiliated and disrespected, especially when people and yourself have made him such an outcast already.

Being around the same age as younger Shravan and Suman, I personally feel insulted by the fact that she still calls what she did bachpana. This isn't a matter of bachpana, this is about the most basic and rudimentary rule of distinguishing right from wrong, which at the age of 18, should be a fairly easy task. It's not fair at all, not to the audience, not to their friendship, and especially not to Shravan who was so clearly affected by these events, NO MATTER HOW OLD THEY ARE. When you are affected so deeply by a person and his/her actions, time is simply not a factor. His pain is not any less than anyone else's and SHOULD not be dismissed as something of the past. It is still very much present. And not something he can simply get over.

Dard dard hi hota. It has no gender and it has no age.

Please do share your perspectives!

Love,

Zainab ❤️

Edited by beauty14 - 9 years ago

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@bepannaahpyaar.

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#Hallelujah

#THANKGOD #SomeoneHadToSayIt

Finally someone sees the light.

First things first I AM ALSO A TEENAGER, and I DO NOT see the argument that teenagers do not understand the gravity of their actions or their consequences (that is, the impact these actions will have on others.)

It had just become rather difficult to hear people tell ME what I am like (that is teenagers do not understand the severity of their actions, etc.). And then being told that I'm in the minority for having the basic understanding of right and wrong does not exactly help.

but then again, I respect everyone's right to an opinion, though I do reserve my right to question it.

With regards to your post, I discuss something similar on my live-reaction thread: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/ek-duje-ke-vaaste/4592799/episode-live-reaction-3-21-16-let-it-hurt. I have the live-reaction and then a analysis (aka "my thoughts") at the bottom, and frankly I'm too lazy to restate what I've basically said there, so I'm just going to copy it for here 😆. Basically the same idea:

Ok after this, my sympathy for Shravan has just gone up just a bit MORE. This is because I'm putting myself in his situation (and I highly recommend that you all do too, before judging his character in the idealistic manner many seem to do), if something like that happened to me, and the one person who I trusted to be my "best-friend" would've reacted THAT way, after 1.) I look clearly depressed, dishevled. and in need of a friend, 2.) I repeatedly tell her that it's something important, and 3.) I f**kING EVEN TELL HER SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPENED, ESPECIALLY AFTER SHE KNOWS ABOUT THE WAY THINGS HAVE BEEN IN MY HOUSEHOLD, I probably would've taken it MUCH worser than Shravan did.

I'm sorry but I just CAN'T hold it against Shravan for being this pissed at her, and the fact that he DID try to ignore her makes me want to give him a standing ovation. Agar main hoti, toh straight from the get-go I would've demanded some answers as soon as this person tried speaking to me and jatao-ing their place as my "friend" (best-friend toh DOOR ki baat hoti). And then when she said "itni bhi badi baat nahi thi" and then the "bhagoda" confrontation that re-opened his wounds...I never have and never will support the way he did it, but man do I UNDERSTAND WHY.

And the way she spoke of his personal matters in public, something along the lines of "I don't care if your mom and dad had a fight again!" How would you feel, honestly, if you were in his place, having just found out this awful news about your mom, being humiliated by your "friend" and now being humiliated in public with everyone ALSO knowing the daily happenings of his family behind closed doors!? I'm sorry but mujhse toh dekha bhi nahi jaa raha tha, can't imagine how he actually lived through that experience.

Seriously how is this bachpana (might make another ENTIRE post on this topic), how can you just label this is as teenage bewakoofi and move on? HOW? I AM young Suman and young Shravan's age right now, maybe that's why I see this much clearer than a lot of people. Because this isn't about bewakoofi and what not, this is about simple right and wrong, something I was taught in freakin KINDERGARDEN. Having said that, I love today's Suman, and like Pushkar said, she isn't the same person anymore, I want to know more about what lead to that transformation. It doesn't mean I support easily forgiving her past mistakes, but I do support the idea of Shravan looking into her transformation and now that his bhadaas is out. As for when they mend their friendship, I believe that's Shravan's call to make, whenever he feels like he's seen and heard enough to move on from his past hurt (which is significant enough for me to let him be the character that calls the shots in this department).

Alright thanks Zozo for this lovely post 🤗

Peace,

Kriti ❤️

Edit: With regards to the law and bullying, I replied to a post with a similar theme on page 3 (towards the bottom). But long story short, in most countries teenagers AND children are held accountable for these actions, the law does see them as being able tell right from wrong and to be able to understand the implications of their actions.

Edited by .SankaDevi. - 9 years ago

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poppinss

@poppinss

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

Zainab, in our country 18 years is juvenile. Till that age teenager will not have a max sentence of more than 3 years even for murder. This is also true for most other countries in the world.

What I am trying to say is when justice system after so much evaluation treats a 16 year old as a juvenile offender why are we not able to accept the reality of Sumo being childish.

There was no venom there... only peer pressure. This indeed is the sad reality.

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Nancy (Zin)

@PlainJane

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

I agree with you 100%.

First things first...I want to thank the CVs for this beautiful show. I love how they are executing the story and moving along with the character development. I hope they keep up this good work.

Now, here is what I think. Both Shravan and Suman are in the wrong. Suman hurt him pretty bad 10 years ago. But I don't like the fact that she is saying that it was a small thing. It clearly wasn't. I know Shravan manipulated Suman and insulted her. What Suman did years ago, she didn't pre-plan it. I get it. But what about feelings. A child or teenager's feeling is far more tender that an adult's feelings. From that point of view, Suman hurt Shravan more deeply and he hurt her. And Shravan didn't really scream at her or anything. He just gave a taste of her own medicine and made her realize that it is never not a big deal to hurt someone.

As you said, he insulted Suman not primarily to hurt her. He just wanted to relieve some of his anger towards her. Initially, he just avoided her, but the way Suman acted few nights ago made him so angry that he insulted her so publicly.

I am not saying what he did is justified. I am saying that what Suman did 10 years ago is also not justified. Yes, she was young. But, she is an adult now. She has to see that what she did was a big blunder. Both of them are hot-headed people, ruled by emotions. Shravan is just better at not showing it.

Suman wants Shravan, her childhood friend from the past back. Guess what! She got it. Clearly Shravan is still stuck in the past and childhood memories. He is just not as gullible as he used to be.

I hope these two sort out their differences. I want them to be friends like they used to be and also fall in love already.

I love this serial and ShraMan.

Edited by PlainJane - 9 years ago

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rekha

@rekha.366

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

It's not fair to say what ever sumo did called as bachpana and insult Shravan pain and suffering. It doesn't make good for him and less his pain hurt and suffer any less. He suffered, humiliated, becoming laughing stoke of whole school. And it's not her backpana it's her personality traits. She is like that and you can't cover it saying it's bachpana it was most ridiculous things to defend a person. If you kill a person it doesn't matter if you young or adult the person will dead and the family suffers. In that time shravan young too and it hurted him such extent that s he couldn't forget the incident. Seriously how can we can forget that kind of incident when you become laughing stoke of whole school. These kind of incidents Come with us life long. Maybe time being we forget but when the person comes in front of our memories come full force. I think sumo needs make up to him and prove that she is not the same sumo and she changed for good. And both needs to closer of the bad memories and start make new memories

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TeriKhamoshiyan

@TeriKhamoshiyan

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: poppinss
Zainab, in our country 18 years is juvenile. Till that age teenager will not have a max sentence of more than 3 years even for murder. This is also true for most other countries in the world.
What I am trying to say is when justice system after so much evaluation treats a 16 year old as a juvenile offender why are we not able to accept the reality of Sumo being childish.

There was no venom there... only peer pressure. This indeed is the sad reality.

I understand where you're coming from Poppins.

Yes there was no venom, and I don't believe I said anything of the sort.

But the point I'm trying to make in my post is that you cannot deem her behavior as inconsequential because of her age. Not only because that is unfair, but also because it just completely invalidates the pain that was inflicted upon ShraMan. And I don't think even you would argue that the pain he suffered through was TREMENDOUS. You can't use age as a buffer for her actions. Because that's just not how it works.

And I understand the point you are bringing up with being 18, however the judicial system has these rules in place for legal reasons. We cannot compare a teenager convicted of illegal behavior to Suman's actions. I just feel as if those are two separate scenarios that have no basis of comparison. It's comparing apples to oranges and again, invalidates the point of this argument.

I personally believe that she knew what she she was doing was wrong, but she just never had the courage or was too prideful to accept that she was wrong for making another person feel as if they were unworthy of her friendship. And if she had enough sense to safeguard her "reputation", she also must have some kind of sense between right and wrong. Also, if you take a look at the flashbacks, at several points, we do see a guilty Suman, but she just never steps up to acknowledge her mistake. I get that she was a teenager, but being a teenager myself, I don't think me hurting someone today is okay, JUST BECAUSE I'm "young and frivolous" or so the perception is. It's never okay to hurt someone. Dard dard hota hai.

And thus it just does not make sense for us as a fandom to turn our head to her mistakes and not hold her just as accountable as we are holding Shravan today. Yes he planned it out, I get that, but you cannot deny that the events that took place were SIGNIFICANTLY worse for Shravan 10 years ago than they were for Suman today. Tareeka galat tha, but many of the things he said were true.

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Fero

@Euphoria_V

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

Well good post
I agree dard dard hi hota hai no gender no age...

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tttttt1

@tttttt1

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: poppinss
Zainab, in our country 18 years is juvenile. Till that age teenager will not have a max sentence of more than 3 years even for murder. This is also true for most other countries in the world.
What I am trying to say is when justice system after so much evaluation treats a 16 year old as a juvenile offender why are we not able to accept the reality of Sumo being childish.

There was no venom there... only peer pressure. This indeed is the sad reality.

I agree

It's not possible to see what she did keeping her age aside ...many teenager are like suman ,in fact the whole school was mean to Sravan its next to. Impossible to image such a situation in a work place that's why age is significant factor here teens they want to be cool. Want to be seen with the coolest guys ,want to talk cool things etc etc

And from her response to me it seemed its not the first time Sravan was talking about his family to her ,its difficult to expect a child woman to keep listening to family issues over and over ,and plus I think she did not realise the intensity of the incident at all ...that's what I call immaturity and bewakoofy in suman's words

Plus the episode did dramatize the incident a bit to add to the hurt factor :)

Like every one laughing at Sravan for.falling down the simple fact is no one in the school treating him well because they were all immature kids

Saying that what I totally disliked is Sravan was visibility upset ,suman completely overlooked it ,all she saw was who was noticing. Thats too much rejection in my opinion to be angry very angry for a young Sravan but the question we are debating here is does that give him the right /justification to behave the way did when he's all grown up

That's makdesperateing a meticulously plan tit for.tat revenge is blaming one person for all the misfortune and for a while school's behaviour that in my opinion was wrong

Edited by tttttt1 - 9 years ago

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TeriKhamoshiyan

@TeriKhamoshiyan

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: PlainJane
I agree with you 100%.

First things first...I want to thank the CVs for this beautiful show. I love how they are executing the story and moving along with the character development. I hope they keep up this good work.

Now, here is what I think. Both Shravan and Suman are in the wrong. Suman hurt him pretty bad 10 years ago. But I don't like the fact that she is saying that it was a small thing. It clearly wasn't. I know Shravan manipulated Suman and insulted her. What Suman did years ago, she didn't pre-plan it. I get it. But what about feelings. A child or teenager's feeling is far more tender that an adult's feelings. From that point of view, Suman hurt Shravan more deeply and he hurt her. And Shravan didn't really scream at her or anything. He just gave a taste of her own medicine and made her realize that it is never not a big deal to hurt someone.

As you said, he insulted Suman not primarily to hurt her. He just wanted to relieve some of his anger towards her. Initially, he just avoided her, but the way Suman acted few nights ago made him so angry that he insulted her so publicly.

I am not saying what he did is justified. I am saying that what Suman did 10 years ago is also not justified. Yes, she was young. But, she is an adult now. She has to see that what she did was a big blunder. Both of them are hot-headed people, ruled by emotions. Shravan is just better at not showing it.

Suman wants Shravan, her childhood friend from the past back. Guess what! She got it. Clearly Shravan is still stuck in the past and childhood memories. He is just not as gullible as he used to be.

I hope these two sort out their differences. I want them to be friends like they used to be and also fall in love already.

I love this serial and ShraMan.

LITERALLY BLESS YOUR SOUL.🤗

And yes. The CV's just keep on getting right. Like they surpass my expectation each time which for Indian TV is like a tremendous achievement. Ughh..I just love everything about this show and everyday seems to strengthen that love.

I completely agree with everything you said. (Literally your entire comment and the parts that I specifically bolded😆) Like you literally summed up my feelings in this comment.

Honestly, Shravan's actions cannot be compared to Sumo's actions though, yes there is no difference left between them as Shravan has also let his pent up resentment out, but that doesn't make the points he brought up invalid.

YES. Shravan is much better at controlling how his emotions are depicted. And I LOVE THAT THOUGH. LIKE I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM. Lol but honestly, he's just too pretty.

On a serious note I would love to see the progression in their relationship. Yes, Suman has gotten Shravan back to India, but not back as a friend. There's still much more time for that to happen, because we need to give Shravan the space to now move on after he has FINALLY been able to receive closure and make her understand the damage and pain she inflicted on him. And it's going to take MUCH more longer for that trust to be rebuilt because that is one thing once shattered, that will take efforts from both sides to build.

I literally can't wait for their romantic scenes. Goodness the images these two bring up in mind..#LivingInTheGutter😆

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Samridhi

@BinKuchKahe.

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: ttt1

I agree
It's not possible to see what she did keeping her age aside ...many teenager are like suman ,in fact the whole school was mean to Sravan teens they want to be cool. Want to be seen with the coolest guys ,want to talk cool things etc etc

And from her response to me it seemed its not the first time Sravan was talking about his family to her ,its difficult to expect a child woman to keep listening to family issues over and over ,and plus I think she did not realise the intensity of the incident at all ...that's what I call immaturity and bewakoofy in suman's words

Plus the episode did dramatize the incident a bit to add to the hurt factor :)
Like every one laughing at Sravan for.falling down the simple fact is no one in the school treating him well because they were all immature kids

Saying that what I totally disliked is Sravan was visibility upset ,suman completely overlooked it ,all she saw was who was noticing. Thats too much rejection in my opinion to be angry very angry for a young Sravan but the question we are debating here is does that give him the right /justification to behave the way did when he's all grown up

That's makdesperateing a meticulously plan tit for.tat revenge is blaming one person for all the misfortune and for a while school's behaviour that in my opinion was wrong

I am sorry but I have to disagree with every word you said here.

Suman was a freaking teenager, not a baby. She knew what was right & what was wrong. She was never forced to be friends with Shravan. It was a conscious choice on her part, & thus when she listened to his woes, she did that as a friend. Because she cared & wanted to be there for him. When Shravan came looking for her, she knew of his emotional vulnerability & his need to confide in her, yet she chose to humiliate him & remain silent when the whole school was laughing at him. It was a conscious choice on her part. She is no baby, to not understand emotions. How can she just say 'ma chali gayi toh chali gayi'.

Also, don't generalize Suman with every teen. They all laughed, but they were not Shravan's friends & neither did they get personal with him the way Shravan did.

Also, it is a psychological proven fact that scars developed when young are the ones that go on to scar us for the rest of our lives. Majority of people with psychological disorders cite childhood incidents of abuse, or what not. So don't just call it mere 'bachpana'.

Coming to Shravan, yes, an eye for an eye is no solution. However even before deciding on right or wrong, it is important for us to understand Shravan's motivations for this revenge. People who seek revenge tend to be motivated by power, authority & status - in short, they do not want to lose face. And that is exactly what motivated Shravan the moment Suman called him eogistic & a bhagoda. Note he was planning to leave for London, but the moment she said that, she peeled open all the wounds she left him 10 years ago. Shravan did not want to be standing there at the same spot, that he was a decade ago. And so he decided on this revenge. Was what he did right? NO. But was it needed? YES. Because he needs to know that rather than providing closure, what this humiliation has done, is to refresh & reopen those wounds which he's been trying to hide from the whole world. And this is the first step for them to now look at each other, beyond their teenager selves. It is in some way, a new beginning, with everything out in the open.

Edited by prc_fan1 - 9 years ago

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