My love... U must be feeling very lonely without me...me too feeling the same... u know something ... I feel u everywhere ...in stranger's touch ... in
uncertain voice...in blurred image...in water and the air...in storm .. in lightning...in the rain ...U must be thinking ... that I've gone crazy ... no ...I just ...miss u patidev ...without u I have lost me somewhere...every breath that I take
makes me feel that I've broken my
promise ...I couldn't save u...neither your memories...
U told me... " u r my strength "...I am still trying to prove u right ...but sometimes everything seems ...meaningless ...my world
seems motionless...I feel like cry ...my
eyes seems like ocean...ocean of never
-ending tears ...my heart says ...u r watching me...u can hear me...u will come
to wipe my tear...but I can't see
u anywhere...I can't sleep at
night...how can I ?... cause I know u won't be there
to wish me good morning...
u know,
that every person whom I love and respect with all of my heart...now
hates me ! but I was helpless...I had to do what I have
done...to save them...cause I know how much u love them...
But don't
worry...I'll make everything
perfect like before...I'm
working on it ... baba has said he and his
leader will help me...everything will be fine
...I'll take the revenge from
kalavati...our family will be in their home again ...then I'll come to u ... in
your favorite blue ...we will be happy together... for eternity ...
Yours and forever yours...
Tara
P.s. I have asked baba abt u ...but I feel he didn't tell me the
whole truth...will U tell me the rest?...
Part-2
Tara,
Sweetheart ...I know u r in pain ...but believe me ...more than u I am feeling guilty ...guilt of not letting u know tht I am alive...i'm
alive because of u ...I hate myself ... that every moment when I remember that ... Your vibrant life has become colourless ... just because of me ... how much u had to bear...for my family ...only to keep the promise that u gave to me... what I
have done for u girl ... to deserve so much love? I see u everyday ...u come here...talk to
guruji...ask for ME ...u don't get answer... ..but still ask question about me ... should I tell u something ...when u visit my camp in jungle with so much ease ...it makes me
remember our friendship days in
stable...U always
talk about me ... That u feel like I am around...yes ...darling what u
feel is my heartbeat ...shouting your name every moment... u know within your heart that it's me...but can't say ...cause u witnessed my brutal Death ...I am sorry dear...i've hidden truth from u
...forgive me...living without u is awful...When I see every time ... u r suffering ...i feel like cry ...but I can't even do that... that is the most terrible thing ...I see u cry...but can't
touch u to appease...can't hug u...can't make u smile by saying..." tara...when u cry ..your nose becomes red "...your lively smile has gone far away
from u ...I promise... .my love ...I'll bring it back...
Last night ...I came to know how lonely u r feeling inside ...without me...u went away from there... and I had to hide my face from u...couldn't afford to call u back...though my heart wanted to take u in my arms at once...But I
was shocked with your words...that ...u want to die to reunite with
me ...don't u dare to do something like that ...u don't need to go anywhere...soon I'll come to meet u...to shower my love on u...I am waiting for that day...until then take care ...
Yours and forever yours...
Mritunjay