In other words Riddhima...you have NO choice

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Amishi

@Amishi25

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#41

he is still concerned with wat the society thinks....God😡

Can't he see that armaan n riddhima should be together😳

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Aishwarya sharma

@Ishia

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#42

Reemz.. shanky ko dar hai..ki.. agar Riddhima armaan ko choose karthi hai. toh uski beti aur khand ki izzat par dag lagjeygae... he's afraid that.. if she follow her heart n choose Armaan she would be blames as dekho kaisa ladkhi hai apni pati ko chod apna pura ashiq ka haat tamliya.. pata nahi beti asa hai toh maa baap kaisa hongay.... na sharam na kuch . pata nahi kaisa kandhan se ayei hai.. inki ki waja se society mein dag lag gayi hai....................... kudh ki beeti ki zindagi aur kushi se zaayada society ki padi hai... woh kudh kamatha hai kudh katha hai.. society uskayliya kathi hai kya.... 😡

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*Reemz*

@*Reemz*

Trailblazer

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

#43

kripsy: As I said, maybe we need to hear the entire conversation but the whole 'society blaming the girl' really got me worked up. I know people talk crap but I didn't think that the woman is always blamed for a divorce. Its not true! I mean I know of couples living in India who have seperated and its been quite clear who is at fault.

I know Riddhima's indecisive nature is making it worse but I think Shankys' words about the woman being blamed affected her in the wrong way.

It really did seem like to me that he was telling her that its necessary that you make this marriage work otherwise you will be blamed.

Lets see.

Edited by *Reemz* - 15 years ago

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Rikz

@BlueSoul

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#44

Originally posted by: *Reemz*

I'm not denying that! I know my father would give me advice to think it through carefully but NEVER would he say that I will be blamed for whatever happens. Riddhima is already cuckoo! How does this added pressure help??

If Shanky had said 'Look I dont think you should divorce, give it another chance' (which I'm sure he will say that), I would understand that because no Dad wants to see his daughter going through a divorce BUT to put blame on her for the consequences is unfair!

Nikki, I didn't think that kind of behaviour works in urban areas between educated people?? 😕

This family lives in INDIA. And in INDIA , women do get blamed for things they've not done. He was not wrong statistically and was just warning her of the consequenses. When will he tell her about it then? After she gets divorced and ppl start blaming her?

And by saying that she will be blamed does not mean he is putting blame on her.

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Inaya Haya

@lilmzsunshine

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

#45

Much as I'm not a fan of society blaming women - THAT'S THE WORLD WE LIVE IN.

Facts are facts you and I can't change.

That said, Shanky may very well be telling his daughter the fact of life. HE may not be blaming her, but HE maybe telling her that THAT is the music you will face, possibly alone, if you go that route.

I have a little kid, and till I became a mommy I didn't realize how difficult it is to watch your child make mistakes, TELL them what you think is right, what they'll face should they make the wrong choice, and then just watch helplessly.

I'm guessing (this is a friendly statement) that those of you bashing Shanky aren't parents yet ... It's a new realm, one which redefines compromise, soceity, practicality and dreams.

I dunno much about Shanky's character (can't waste brain cells thinking about it - plus DMG changes characters like one changes hair color) BUT as a father, a good father, NO father would tell his daughter to up and divorce a good person just coz her past flame, NO MATTER HOW STRONT THEIR LOVE MAY HAVE BEEN, is back.

Believe me, I'm an AR fan, but a father just CAN'T tell his daughter to divorce a guy who respects her, takes care of her (that's how Shanky views it), who she seems to get along with, just to go back to a past flame.

Someone made a comment about him marrying two women he loved. Yes he did - and he agreed to have his daughter marry Armaan BECAUSE of that love. But NOW she's married to someone else. Again, I'm an AR fan and hope the CVs fiind a way, without insulting the sanctity of marriage, to get them back together, but you can't blame a father for wanting his daughter to take marriage seriously.

As for his comment - haven't seen teh precap - he could very well be telling her the reality of life, not admonishing her.

NOW - his forcing her to marry Sid - THAT I thought was a bad decision a good father could have made. THERE he needed to stand by her ...

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*Reemz*

@*Reemz*

Trailblazer

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

#46

BlueSoul: Its all about the psychological affect these words have on the other person and obviously his words got the reaction out of her. He should give her practical advice but I don't think he worded it correctly.

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--Nargis--

@--Nargis--

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

#47

What galls me the most...is the definition of a "Successful" marriage... Ek aurat apni kwaish or jazbaat ko dabba ke rehain, apni zyaati khushi ko kubaan kare just for the sake of society....ke duniya ke aage who buri na lagge or uske maa baap ki Izzat karab na ho....is this the definition of a successful marriage?

Ugh...for an educated guy.....Shanky kills me with his backward mentality...and we all know how he feels about DIVORCE...remember Armaan's parent's fiasco...what all Armaan and company went thru to hide the divorce fact from him!!!!

God...this kills me...and now Armaan has made SID admit that he loves Riddhima...just an added complication to this already wacky circumstance...UGH!!!......Feeling very frustrated right now!!!!😡😡

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*Reemz*

@*Reemz*

Trailblazer

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

#48

Originally posted by: lilmzsunshine
Much as I'm not a fan of society blaming women - THAT'S THE WORLD WE LIVE IN.
</div>
Facts are facts you and I can't change.

That said, Shanky may very well be telling his daughter the fact of life. HE may not be blaming her, but HE maybe telling her that THAT is the music you will face, possibly alone, if you go that route.

I have a little kid, and till I became a mommy I didn't realize how difficult it is to watch your child make mistakes, TELL them what you think is right, what they'll face should they make the wrong choice, and then just watch helplessly.

I'm guessing (this is a friendly statement) that those of you bashing Shanky aren't parents yet ... It's a new realm, one which redefines compromise, soceity, practicality and dreams.

I dunno much about Shanky's character (can't waste brain cells thinking about it - plus DMG changes characters like one changes hair color) BUT as a father, a good father, NO father would tell his daughter to up and divorce a good person just coz her past flame, NO MATTER HOW STRONT THEIR LOVE MAY HAVE BEEN, is back.

Believe me, I'm an AR fan, but a father just CAN'T tell his daughter to divorce a guy who respects her, takes care of her (that's how Shanky views it), who she seems to get along with, just to go back to a past flame.

Someone made a comment about him marrying two women he loved. Yes he did - and he agreed to have his daughter marry Armaan BECAUSE of that love. But NOW she's married to someone else. Again, I'm an AR fan and hope the CVs fiind a way, without insulting the sanctity of marriage, to get them back together, but you can't blame a father for wanting his daughter to take marriage seriously.

As for his comment - haven't seen teh precap - he could very well be telling her the reality of life, not admonishing her.

<div>NOW - his forcing her to marry Sid - THAT I thought was a bad decision a good father could have made. THERE he needed to stand by her ...

I'm not saying that Shanky should give her the green signal to divorce. My problem isn't with the fact that he is trying to persuade her not to divorce. As I said, no father would want to see their daughter go through a divorce BUT right now she does not need to be told that if anything goes wrong then its most likely that her that will be blamed.

I am an NRI but my parents are more 'Indian' then a lot of the ones living in India itself. I can completely imagine by dad telling me 'Look give the marriage a try. He is a nice guy so go for it'. Trust me, my father does think of what other people think!! Maybe a bit too much but he wouldn't say I will be blamed for the failure of the marriage. Thats my issue!!

Edited by *Reemz* - 15 years ago

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Inaya Haya

@lilmzsunshine

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

#49

I understand what you mean.

I think, however, that Shanky may not have been blaming her either. He may have been telling her what it's going to be like - reality.

Honestly, I can see my mom telling me, should I ever come to her for a divorce, how difficult life would be. And in that explanation, I can see her telling me that society will be difficult for me, given I'm a woman.

These are advice that parents HAVE to give us. I think it would be very un-parent-like if they didn't tell us what the world would do. It's their experience that give us a wealth of knowledge that help us make the decisions we make (in most cases, I understand there are exceptions).

Again, I understand where you're coming from. I just don't think Shanky was blaming her himself.

If he was - that IS wrong. But I don't think he was.

-S

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--Nargis--

@--Nargis--

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

#50

Originally posted by: -Fizzylicious-
how is it stopping her from signing those papers? he's just doign what a father should do i m sure if God forbid one day we have to go to our father in Riddhima's situation and tell him that my hubby is divorcing me for no specific reason than he'll encourage us and say yeah baby go ahead that's the way to do it. Ofcourse every father will take every measure to sop this from happenign and that's exactly what Shashank is doing. I don't see thta as emotional atyachar or whatever Besides riddhima herself said she'll make her own decisions and will not let anyone interfare in her faislas

In the coming 100 years or the next...that is the question...when will she decide!!!

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In other words Riddhima...you have NO choice - Page 5

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