The Manveer Cheese Factory IMP. NOTE(last)

akshi_t thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#1
Hi everyone...!!!!...i've just joined but i'm a bif fan of all your os, ffs, short stories and short scenes...and after reading so many my teeny weeny creative mind got inspired...so i've written some short scenes/os...just a try...and really wanted to share them...so here i am 😛...and all your appreciations as well as criticisms are welcome (and plz ignore my mistakes, bad english and grammar 😊)...and and before i post the scenes the name of the topic...it's so coz the scenes are a little cheesy...maybe a lot cheesy...i don't know...but they are cheesy...and also forgive me if the concept of any scene had already been posted...so here are the scenes:

1. Manyata: kya boring party hai...kaha fas gayi hu main bhagwanji...kisi tarah se mujhe is boriyat se bachao na!!! (sees uday coming towards her)
Manyata: tujhe sach me kuch kaam nhi hota h kya??...har jagah chala aata hai
Uday: har jagah kaha...sirf wahi jahan tum hoti ho princess
Manyata: (in disbilief) halkat vede...tu kabhi nahin sudhar sakta na???
Uday chuckles
Manyata: ab has kyu raha hai??
Uday: nahin hum bas soch rhe the ki hume nahin pata tha tum humse itna pyaar karti ho ki puri duniya ke liye to badal gayi ho par humare liye kabhi badalna nahin chahti...how sweet!!!! (caressing her cheek)
Manyata was surprised at his comment beacuse she indeed remained like herself only around him...but she always had replies ready for him
Manyata: itni neend aa rahi hai to jake soja...khuli aankhon se khwaab dekhna acha nhi hai teri sehat ke liye...
Uday came close to her and whispered in her ear: Agar khwaab nhi dekhenge to unhe pura kaise karenge princess
manyata remained silent for a while and before she could say something a repoter came just then and asked for their pics together...they agreed...
when it got over uday and manyata headed to get something to drink
uday started singing pyaar hua iqraar hua hai pyaar se fir kyun darta hai dil...his voice was low but loud enough for her to hear and she
got lost in thought...his voice playing in the background in her mind...she knew that hell has started to freeze over...

2. Manyata: Where are we going uday???
Uday: Abhi pata lag jayega princess...
I was really eager to know where uday was taking me...he told me that he wanted to show something really special...something which is really close to his heart...and he had not taken anyone else there...we were just driving and driving...and I was getting imatient with every passing minute...i tried asking him a lot of times but he jst told me to wait for a little more while...finally we reached our destination...
it was a really normal looking building...i could not see anything special about it...it was just an ordinary building...i looked at uday confused...he smiled at me took my hand and led me inside...we reached a door...i was wondering who lived here...or had lived here??...maybe it was uday's home when he was a kid...had i come here before...i was going to ask him but at the same time he unlocked the door and i closed my mouth to finally see...i entered the room...it was empty...really...there was nothing...not a table...chair...nothing...except mirrors...there were mirrors all around...the walls were made of mirrors...just mirrors from top to bottom...everywhere i see i could see just me...uday was still standing at the door...i looked at uday still confused and asked..."i don't get it uday...there nothing here except mirrors...what's so special about it???"...uday smiled and said..."you...it's you and only you...and you will see the same if you look inside my heart"...a tear rolled down on manyata's cheek...manyata was at a loss for words...and for the first time in her life she didn't want to say anything...


# Index #
1,2,3,4 -- pg 1
5,6,7,8 -- pg 2
9,10,11,12 --pg 3
13 -- pg 4
14 -- pg 5
15,16 -- pg 7
Edited by akshi_t - 13 years ago

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akshi_t thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#2
here are 2 more...and i really want to write more but it would be of no use if u all don't like these...so plz hit like if u like these...and thanks a lot for reading these 😃

3. The tears rolled down my cheek...and i just couldn't stop them from escaping my eyes...i try every day not to break...i've always got up every time i've fallen...but today...i'm not sure if i can
take it anymore...why did it happen??...why does it has to happen with me???...what is my fault??...that i've tried so hard...i really need a break...i just wish he would be here with me right
now...why did he had to go??...why coudn't he be here when i need him the most??...what are you thinking manyata...u don't need him...right??...but i just want...i just wish he would be here...i
wish he'd know what i'm going through...what i'm feeling but how could he??...he's not here...he has gone...what is happening to me???...am i??...no..
before she could reach a conclusion for her feelings a hand interrupted her thoughts...*he came back??*...a relief surged over all her body...but she felt nothing special...the touch made her feel
nothing like it used to...wat had changed??...maybe it was because she had felt the touch after a while...she threw these thoughts away...because even though her face screamed sadness...the
reassurance of his hand overpowered it...
she really wanted to hear his voice but there was just silence...so she decided to break it..."thank god you came back...i really want to talk to you...but everyone must be really worried at
home...can you take me back home uday???"
the hand backed off...did she just called him uday??...no!!...this could not be possible...it must be a slip of tongue...she could not have wanted him to be here..."moniya!!"
she turned around...her smile gone...her face went grim...*oh no...what was i thinking...i called akash uday...it's all uday's fault...can he not stay away from my mind for even a little
while???...if this continues i'm sure i'll be calling everyone uday in a few days*
there were so many expressions on her face but every expression overpowered the other so fast that it seemed like her face showed nothing...there was embarrasment...for what she had just
done...sadness...seeing that it was akash and not uday...guilt...that she had hurt akash yet once again...or guilt that she wanted uday to be there instead of akash??...shock...at her thoughts
and desires...fear...for how would she fix the situation...but there had been something else as well...an unknown feeling which very well accompanied the emptiness within her...which was giving rise to infinite other feelings which had so long been masqueraded as nothing...but the same nothing was overloading her with so many unknown feelings...that it was suffocating her...her thoughts were drowning her deeper and deeper and she was ready to lose herself when his voice suddenly snapped her out of it..."moniya...moniya!!!"
all was gone...just fear and guilt stood beside her...she had to say something...she had to fix it for now...and fast...and so she decided...she decided to lie...to him and to herself...but little did she
know that the spark she freed today in her heart made the truth lose it's mask...and it has already started the journey...to find her...to confront her...and the journey was going to be short...really really short...!!!

4.Uday's room
J: Good morning uday!!!
Uday: What are you here for now j?
J: oh c'mon uday...i just wanted to make sure that you are alright...i know
uday shook his head in disgust...and then suddenly his eyes went to his side table...it was the same yet one thing for missing...he got up and looked around the room...underneath his bed...the corners...every area...even in the places he knew he will find nothing...
J: what are you looking for uday??
Uday: there was a jar on my side table
J: oh that old piece of crap
Uday looked at her furiously
*how could she call it crap?*
J:it was ruining the look of your room...so i got rid of it...no need to say thanks..
Uday: since when do you have the right to do changes in my room j?? (he grabbed her arms)...it was not a piece of crap j...where is it???
J: what are you doing uday??...leave me...you're hurting me uday...why do you even care for that jar??
*He cared for it because it was special...very very special...has always been...it has been lying on his side table for years...been with him for years...glinting...everytime sun's rays fell on it...how
could he forget the day he got it...(Flashback)
Manyata: Happy birthday Uday!!!!
Uday:(as he hugged her) Thank you Manyata
Manyata: I have soething for you
Uday: what?
Manyata: your gift of course stupid(she said laughing)
She gave him a jar...an empty jar
Uday:(confused) what is this manyata??
Manyata:come with me
They went outside and she held the jar up
Manyata:last week i went out with papa...i caught it...because i really love sunlight...and this for you because i know you do too
*It was the same year she got lost...he had always kept the jar with him because every morning it gave him hope and determination to find her...it was the only thing he had of hers...it was her
reminder...what she said back then was right...he does love sunlight...and "she was the sunlight of his life"*
Uday:( releasing J) u will not understand it J...now where is the jar?

DEKfan2012 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#3
Lovely little stories...I really wish Uday finds that jar!

akshi_t thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: DEKfan2012

Lovely little stories...I really wish Uday finds that jar!



Thanks...😊...and he did find it!!! 😃
akshi_t thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#5

thanks a lot 😃
akshi_t thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#6

Thanks...will surely do and update soon..!!! 😊
akshi_t thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#7
so here are two more...enjoy 😃

5. Manyata: ouch!!
Uday: kya hua princess??
Manyata: kuch nahi..bas meri gardan(neck)...(she winced in pain as she tried to turn her head)
I came running towards her...I tried to reach her but she said "are kuch nahi hua hai mujhe...dekh...tu faltu me hi"...she tried to turn her head but winced yet once again
Uday:(holding her hands down) hume dekhne do manyata
I bent down to come to her level...as I slid down my hands her body tensed a little...as i caressed her neck i could feel her gulp down the throat...i cpuld not help but smile at this...she was reacting different from the usual...her movements didn't show rejection...but there was something else like she was scared of the closeness...scared to give in...scared to fall...hmm so she does feel something for me...i broke the silence...
Uday: yahan dard ho raha hai?(touching at a spot)
Manyata: mmm...hmm
J: ahem ahem...wow uday...hume nahi pata tha tumhare paas healing powers hain??
Uday: Wo kya hai na J hum tumhari help bhi khushi se kar dete par ye powers especially manyata ke liye hain
J left angrily
Manyata: O teri!...meri class ka time ho gaya hai...mujhe bhi jana chahiye
Uday: par princess apka dard...??
Manyata: main ispe koi spray shray laga lungi
she gave a quick smile and left as fast as she could
Uday: is baar to tum J ki wajah se bhaag gayi...par hum tumhe itni asani se nahi jaane dennge...princess to tum humesha humari hi rahogi...

6. Manyata: please gaadi rok na uday...dekh na kitni pyaari baarish hai
Uday: no princess
Manyata looked outside and smiled as she got an idea...manyata took her hand outside the window...and splashed some on uday's face
Uday: Princess last time wali trick fir se kaam nahi karegi...yaad hai na last time kya hua tha...hum dono kitne bimar ho gaye the...isliye is baare koi baarish me bheegna nahi
Manyata: please please please uday
Uday: nahi
Manyata: pakka zyada der nahi...fir na main bimar hongi na tu
Uday: humne kaha na nahi manyata
Manyata got upset and tried enjoy the rain by putting her face outside the window
Uday: manyata ye kya kar rahi ho??
Manyata: tu toh gadi rokne wala hai nahi to kya main ab apni tarah se baarish ke maze bhi nahi le sakti??
Uday: par hum...theek hai princess
Manyata was silent during the whole journey...looking outside the window
By the time they reached home the rain had stopped...rain droplets adorned her face...and uday felt a really bad urge to wipe them off her face...but before he could she unbuckled her seat belt and went without saying anything to him...and all he could mutter was "princess..."
Next Day
Manyata woke up and got ready for her classes...but as she left the room...she got a flower shower...she looked around but could find no one...everywhere she'd go it would be raining...raining flowers...just on her...but she could not see anyone doing it...no doubt she was loving it...the beautiful soft petals followed everywhere she went...it felt like they were raining naturally...she was going to her room when she saw uday coming towards her
Uday: (wid a smirk) hi princess...baarish me maza aa raha hai?
Manyata: O teri!...to ye sab tune karvaya hai?
Uday: haan nahi toh!
Manyata and Uday let out a little laugh
Manyata: par kyu?
Uday: tumhe hi to chahiye thi baarish...yaad hai?...ab special princess ke liye special baarish toh banti hai
Manyata: tu bhi na uday
Uday: hum bhi kya princess??
Manyata: ekdum pagal hai...haan nahi to!
Uday: woh to hum hai hi...tumhare liye
Manayta nudged him and walked away...
chitra_rao thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#8
Loved it to teh core, keep writing 😛
akshi_t thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#9
Thanks a lot for your appreciation you all ❤️...will surely update more soon 👍🏼...it's the only way i can keep my mind away from thinking about all the suspense going on 😛
akshi_t thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#10
i'm really sorry for updating this late...got a little busy in something...but i finally completed these so here they are:

7. We all were sitiing in a circle...it was like a camp i've seen on tv shows except it was on a beach...it was supposed to be enjoyable...everyone together...even akash was here...i did enjoy the whole day...away from everyone...but right now...i was just not feeling good...when i look at him...uday...a pang of sadness peirces my heart...looking in his eyes...there's just sadness...longing...and before i could see something more he looks away...i'm still looking at him but he doesn't look back not once...he's ignoring me...why is he ignoring me??...after all that that happened today...he's ignoring me??...my thoughts get interrupted now and then by akash speaking something on the other...then suddenly unnati suggests everyone to dance...akash asks me to and i try to resist it but i finally give in...j is dancing with uday...suddenly i get an idea and shares it with everyone..."mujhe lagta hai ki hume har gaane pe na partner change karne chahiye...maine aisa tv pe dekha tha ek baar...maza aayega nahi unnati"...everyone agrees to my idea...i get a confused look from akash and an annoyed one from j...and uday well he's just smirking...
and now it's my and uday's turn to dance together
Manyata:tu mujhe ignore kyu kar raha hai?
Uday: princess ye wish agar tum kisi ginnie se bhi jaake mangogi to wo bhi pura nahi kar payega
Manyata: kyu fevicol ka jod h kya?
We both laugh at that
Manyata: ok uday tell me one thing do u believe in angels??
Uday: ye kaisa sawal hai princess?...ok ok...yeah i do why?
Manyata: nothing i'm just thinking u know i'm just a little confused as to how to identify one?
Uday: aajkal aap fairytales pad rahi hain kya??
Manyata: theek hai..tere se to baat hi karna bekaar h
Uday:are ruko princess...aapke sawal ka jawab to bahut asan hai...when you're are ready to become a guardian all your life just to protect someone from anything and everything...then i think you've found your angel..(lowering his voice at angel)
Manyata: guardian??
Uday: haan guardian is like a personal soldier
Manyata: i know what guardian means...vijay has taught me that much...but angels don't need guardians you see...they spread happiness all over...why would anyone try to hurt them?
Uday: maybe they don't realise there's danger because their guardians never let them
Manyata:(after a little pause) so the guardians are like the angel's angels?
Uday:For some they are...for some they are just guardians(with a sad tone)
Manyata: that way everyone is an angel for all the people that love them?
Uday:For everyone there's just one angel...the special one...for whom they can do anything...whose just one thought can bring a smile to your heart...
The music had just stopped...and we both knew it...but we were just looking at each other...his eyes...they seem so vast and open today...the layers which protected those emotions were so easily removable today...today his eyes looked so vulnerable...and i wanted to know more and search more...but my time was up...we had to change partners...i left to dance again with akash...but the whole time uday didn't leave my mind...i couldn't think about anyone but him...i was going to get engaged to akash...i should be happy...i was happy...wasn't this what i always wanted..??...but there was just one problem...my soldier my guardian was becoming my guardian angel day by day or more specifically my angel...and i can't do anything to stop it...because i kind of want it to happen...

8.UV's POV (imagine janam dekh lo song playing in bckgrnd during manveer scene in this one)
I know i should have told someone but i didn't want to...i wanted some time alone...to think...i didn't know everyone would get so worried especially manyata...maybe she was just worried for choti...but choti told me manyata was really worried for me...choti told me everyone got really worried as i didn't return home the whole night as well as most of today without telling anyone...as i entered the palace everyone came to ask how i was and where i was...was i hurt...why didn't i tell anyone where i was going and if i even knew how worried they got...everyone was here asking me questioning me with worried faces...but one face face was not there...manyata's...maybe she does not know yet that i am back...or maybe she does not care...choti understood i was searching for her and she went inside to meet her while i was calming everyone down by answering their questions...when all the questions got answered everyone headed to the lounge...i told them to go.."aap chaliye...hum choti ko lekar aate hain"
I went to manyata's room...choti just got out...she just smiled at me and went away...as I entered the room...and chimed like always.."hi princess"...she turned around came running towards me and hugged me tightly...she gripped my shirt from the back and her face resting on my chest...i was surprised at first but then i wrapped my arms around her...and i just didn't want to let go...ever...and it seemed like she wanted the same...because she didn't let go...we just stood there holding each other...being in each other's arms...her touch her actions always make me vulnerable...make me lose control over my resistance over her...she was crying because i coul feel my shirt getting wet where her face lied...and in the long silence we stood i could hear her faint sobs...i have to stop her...even though i can stand like this with her forever i know i have to...so i broke it and took her face in my hands...wiping her tears...
Uday: Princess..
Manyata:(hitiing on uday's arm) kahan gaya tha tu?
Uday: wo hum...
Manyata: tujhe pata hai sab log kitne pareshan ho gaye the?
Uday: aur aap?
Manyata:(ignoring his question) kisiko bata kar nahin ja sakta tha? sab log kab se tujhe dhoond rahe the...tera phone try kar rahe the lekin vo bhi band tha??
Uday: ye to sahi kaha aapne...phone on rakhna chahiye tha...aapne kitni baar miss kia at least ye to pata lag jata hume
Manyata: uday main mazak nahin kar rahi hoon
Uday: hume pata hai princess...ek to aap ye rona band kijiye
Manyata: fir mujhse abhi waada kar ki tu fir se aisa kabhi nahin karega...ki tu mujhe aise fir kabhi chodke nahin jayega
Uday: par princess fir aapki wish...??
Manyata: wish??...kaunsi wish?...mujhe kuch nahi pata...mujhse waada kar tu mujhe kabhi chodke nahi jayega
*par princess fir aap aur majnu saath kaise honge?...aap humesha se yehi to chahti thi...isliye to humne apne dil ko itna manaya...itna tayar kiya...ki aapse door ja sake...pehli baar hum kisise haarne ke liye tayar the...haarne ke liye tayar the...aapko haarne ke liye tayar the...sirf aapki khushi ke liye...par ye waada...agar humne ye waada kar diya to hum aapko kabhi haar nahi sakte princess kabhi nahi...*
Uday: hum waada karte hain princess ki fir aapko kabhi chodkar nahin jayenge...hum apne aap se aapko kabhi alag nahin hone denge...aur hum ye waada kabhi nahin todenge...!!!

Edited by akshi_t - 13 years ago

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