Son...your adopted... - Page 2

Originally posted by: sareg

I used to have a classmate, I think his parents broke the news to him in 9th or 10th grade.

He used to be one of the naughtiest kid around before after hearing the news the boy was devastated and has never been the same ever.

Originally posted by: raunaq

ok 4, but as soon as the kid says mama, mama should say beta mein tumhari mama nahi houn

🤣........ what a heartless mama that would be..... well i believe in letting them know that we love them lots first and then that the blood relations are not everything and then that they are adopted 😃

double post😳

Originally posted by: raunaq

see thats what i am trying to say that if you tell the kid from beginning, he/she wont feel as bad as it will be felt later 😛

are u kidding me?

Even at 14-15 he was not ready to learn the truth.

His mom and my mom were close friends, she told us that they had done ground work on this topic for about a year or so before the news.

Originally posted by: raunaq

see thats what i am trying to say that if you tell the kid from beginning, he/she wont feel as bad as it will be felt later 😛

IMO.... knowing that one is adopted always have the effect on mindset of the child whenever you disclose it to them.... the child will always feel u r doing favour... it will always remain in heart.... its parent's responsibility to tell him that he is doing favour to them by giving the love and affection and that he should not hesitate telling his heart feelings with them.... because such children normally keep a lot of things in heart😊

Originally posted by: sareg

are u kidding me?

Even at 14-15 he was not ready to learn the truth.

His mom and my mom were close friends, she told us that they had done ground work on this topic for about a year or so before the news.

Originally posted by: raunaq

ummm no i wasnt kidding at all, actually i had always believed to let the kids know ever since they are adopted from age 1, and if you adopt a kid above age 4 ot 5, that is when they start to remember and communicate, its better to let them know that they are not their real parents, it will spare from shattering later on, but i guess i am going to refine my views after this topic has been posted since most of you guys know well when is the right time to let the kids knows

Raunaq.... nobody knows whats the right time.... its someone's basic instinct that tells whats the right time.... u cant expect that the child wont be affected by the news as its not reality... it will surely be affected.... however i agree with u that it should be done as soon as possible with vertain precautions as i stated in my earlier posts IMO😊

Originally posted by: raunaq

most of the kids around 4 and up attain the trait of sensitivity. they start understanding many things at that time. correct me if i might be wrong since i dont know how kids usually understand it. imo, its better to let them know as early as possible which is when they are toddler or small enough to get it ingrained in their thoughts that they are not their real parents.

As I mentioned each kid is different. Just because a kid starts talking doesn't mean that he can accept anything. Most of the times parents know what, when and how to convey serious messages to their children depending on the sensitivity and sensibility. It is possible that a 7 year old can take news of a death of a dear one much more maturely than another kid of same age who will sulk for years. So instead of setting up a specific age group it is always better to find the best time to talk to the child. There are some parents who choose not to tell theitr children at all and that is the case where very few people around them actually know that the child was adopted.

I personally think 4 is a tender age. If even for fun you tell a 4 year old that she is adopted the kid feels really sad. Try it on your toddler nephew or niece or a friend's kid. 😊

Originally posted by: raunaq

see thats what i am trying to say that if you tell the kid from beginning, he/she wont feel as bad as it will be felt later 😛

Originally posted by: raunaq

most of the kids around 4 and up attain the trait of sensitivity. they start understanding many things at that time. correct me if i might be wrong since i dont know how kids usually understand it. imo, its better to let them know as early as possible which is when they are toddler or small enough to get it ingrained in their thoughts that they are not their real parents.

So what if they are not the real parents? The ones who bring up the child are the REAL parents not the ones who gave birth and abandoned their child

I know a couple who adopted two babies and told them at the age of 3-4 that they are adopted. The kids took it very immaturely because whenever the parents would get angry at them...the kids would say to each other 'Lets go and find our real parents'. This is heartbreaking for the parents who have been selfless and tried to give these children a better life and future...

I feel that once a child has been adopted..then the biological parents have no right over the child(this may not apply to celebrity adoptions). I feel the child isnt a toy who you can play with one day and get rid of the next...it has feelings and emotions. As far as I am concerned if the new parents have helped to keep the child's cultural identity intact and are giving the child all the love possible then even if someone says to the child that he/she adopted, the child will most probably say 'I am not interested. I dont want to know'.

I feel if a child does want to go searching for it's biological parents then fine....but this may cause more heartbreak and problems as the biological parents may have moved on in life separately. The mother may be married and then one day this child turns up at her doorstep...it can ruin her life!

I am a 19 year old and I still dont feel mature enough to take major decisions. so it is very likely that a child may take an unreasonable step after finding out that he/she is adopted..and then they will regret it later on....

I feel all these celebrity adoptions have reli ruined the image of adoptions as there are many families out there who genuinely want another child and are willing to give it a nice home, every happiness and treat him/her like their own child.