What attracts to sm1? Similarities OR Differences?

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344471

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Posted: 12 years ago

#11

Jokes aside, you need a good balance of the both to sustain a healthy long-term relationship. Just like variety is the spice of life.

You need similarities to sustain a long term relationship precisely because when the differences are too high it's difficult to make choices and compromise in each little thing. You can't really be spending life with someone you cannot adjust or find communicative.

You need opposite personalities so that your significant other can compliment on what you lack and vice-versa. Without differences, we'd all be stuck in our own little bubble. We'd not see the other end of the coin and look at the world from the perspective of someone else. It would be a pretty boring yes-yes-yes relationship.

I will say in the end the similarities are more important, but just like variety is the desert of life, a healthy dose of differences makes the relationship more interesting and spicily healthy.

EDIT:

It reminded me of this iconic couple -

Edited by Beyond_the_Veil - 12 years ago

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LovesLowCulture

@LovesLowCulture

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Posted: 12 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: --arti--
All filmy logic aside, people are attracted to those who are very similar to them. Class status, education level, usually ethnicity, are all factors. Most of the time people fall in love with others in their universities or workplace. People from completely different backgrounds/lifestyles who get together are more like the exception.

^^ This.

I don't think I could have said it better 😊.

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return_to_hades

@return_to_hades

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: cl0wn

No neutral standpoints... what's better or let's say more important in your opinion? 😛

To be honest, this is something I cannot take a stand with. I just go with the flow. If the chemistry clicks it clicks. I can never pinpoint if it is because we are the same or different.

If I had to choose, I'd choose opposite though. I like it when people push me out of my comfort zone. Those kinds of people complete me.

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Believe

@-Believe-

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#14

Life works on the law of the opposites ..we cannot hate a person without loving him/her..hate is possible only if you love...cannt make an enemy without making him/her first your friend...opposites go together...and love also periodical thats why we can see in real world, the one you quarrelled with in the morning and decided it was impossible to live with, you again reconcile with and swear you would be lost without..thats why ppl says na...''Great lovers cannot live in peace, love is illenss''and we cannot escape the opposite...If we look at one aspect, the other is hidden behind,but the other is there, always waiting... Be happy and somewhere..from the back door, unhappiness is entering..just wanna say, without opposites we cant live..so just cherish or enjoy the moments immediately..😊

Edited by Prometeus - 12 years ago

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_Angie_

@_Angie_

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: cl0wn
So what attracts you to someone else (from a relationship point of view)... similarities or differences? And why?

Or what's better in general? Having a partner with mostly similar hobbies/personality or someone who is different than you? And why?

P.S. You can't choose both...

Differences attract when similarities are more easily available whereas similarities attract when differences are commoner. To quote a simple example, a new student with a different cultural background enrolling in your class generates a lot of initial interest till the process of assimilation occurs whereas the situation gets reversed when you find yourself in a new place with new customs, culture, language. A person with similar background appears more welcome at that stage till the time you blend into your new environs.

From a relationship point of view after the initial attraction, notwithstanding the similarities or differences, it is the compatibility and commitment that would sustain it .

The sort of differences would also matter. Difference in hobbies, career and friends can be fairly compatible provided there exists a common meeting ground that provides a sense of fulfillment to both sides. On the other hand, some differences may be intolerable. Having said that I would like to add that some similarities that we would be loathe to admit could also be deemed as intolerable when noticed in the other 😆 What looked attractive in a short term relationship may lose its attractiveness in the long run. Whatever be the similarities or differences, without a liberal dose of compassion, caring, trust, space and freedom no relationship can remain compatible for long.

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Kankshita

@thegameison

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#16

Differences attract me. I observe people. People like me have nothing in them for me to observe. Studying characters, I have a tendency of landing up with feelings of steadily growing attraction towards guys who are quite my opposite. Math kills, in my opinion but for all we know, the guy I like never loses half a mark on any of his Math tests. But in my head he needs to strike a balance. I can like them for being affable and optimistic and nonchalant, everything I'm not. But there's squat for me to like in them if they're not sensitive and do not know where to draw the line. In my opinion, you have to appreciate the differences in order to discover the similarities. That's what works for me, not just with the opposite campus but everybody in general.

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344471

Suspended

Posted: 12 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: -IHATEYOU-
Same characteristics.

Your signature is the proof differences make the hottest couple. 😳

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Aisha

@MOTHERHOOD

Stunner

+ 10

Posted: 12 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: Beyond_the_Veil

Your signature is the proof differences make the hottest couple. 😳

Only in reel life.

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344471

Suspended

Posted: 12 years ago

#19

I am pretty sure you need occasional differences to make your relationship healthy and spicy in REAL life too. All these yes-yes-yes-yes-yes relationship seems so boring and fake. I don't have to agree with you, but I want to look at the world through your perspective, and know why you think otherwise. But too many differences can be problematic.

But Angie is right on the note with her detailed analysis when one works and the other doesn't.

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Aisha

@MOTHERHOOD

Stunner

+ 10

Posted: 12 years ago

#20

Originally posted by: Beyond_the_Veil
I am pretty sure you need occasional differences to make your relationship healthy and spicy in REAL life too. All these yes-yes-yes-yes-yes relationship seems so boring and fake. I don't have to agree with you, but I want to look at the world through your perspective, and know why you think otherwise. But too many differences can be problematic.

But Angie is right on the note with her detailed analysis when one works and the other doesn't.

If the yes is straight from heart then the relationship is not fake.One has to compromise when two people have different perspectives.And always the one who is less manipulative suffers.
It is hard for a religious man to live with an atheist.
It is hard for a free spirited man to live with a conservative man.
Differences in characters are only interesting if you your better half have the specific characteristics which you love to have but you do not have.

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What attracts to sm1? Similarities OR Differences? - Page 2

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