Do you think rape is a cultural problem?

Loving2011 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#1
Given the recent atrocities, many posters are saying that respecting women is a clear problem. offended and say that Indian men and culture are being generalized. Is it safe to say that a lot of Indian men and women don't know what sexual consent or healthy sex is? Think about it. We come from families where sex is taboo to talk about. We watch how our dads treat our moms. We then see how our moms passively put up with it. We see our brothers and sons get away with things that we girls would be shunned for. We are told to keep quiet about rape, bc nobody will marry us and our attacker will get revenge. We see articles, such as a survey in Delhi posted last year, that say that 1 in 4 Indian men have forced their wives to have sex.

I and other Indian women have confessed that we have been victims that have been forced and pressured. Why does this keep happening? Is it really about just running into bad apples or is there some kind of mentality that's contributing to this?
Edited by Loving2011 - 12 years ago

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373577 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#2
This article brings out the shocking attitudes . The comments that follow bring back memories of the brutality 😒
http://daily.bhaskar.com/article/MP-BHO-delhi-gang-rape-she-should-have-submitted-to-rape-says-woman-scientist-4128063-NOR.html
Freethinker112 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: zorrro

This article brings out the shocking attitudes . The comments that follow bring back memories of the brutality 😒
http://daily.bhaskar.com/article/MP-BHO-delhi-gang-rape-she-should-have-submitted-to-rape-says-woman-scientist-4128063-NOR.html


Is that woman for real? 😒


Edited by Freethinker112 - 12 years ago
bepatient thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: Loving2011

Given the recent atrocities, many posters are saying that respecting women is a clear problem. offended and say that Indian men and culture are being generalized. Is it safe to say that a lot of Indian men and women don't know what sexual consent or healthy sex is? Think about it. We come from families where sex is taboo to talk about. We watch how our dads treat our moms. We then see how our moms passively put up with it. We see our brothers and sons get away with things that we girls would be shunned for. We are told to keep quiet about rape, bc nobody will marry us and our attacker will get revenge. We see articles, such as a survey in Delhi posted last year, that say that 1 in 4 Indian men have forced their wives to have sex.


I and other Indian women have confessed that we have been victims that have been forced and pressured. Why does this keep happening? Is it really about just running into bad apples or is there some kind of mentality that's contributing to this?

Hi, I read your comments on delhi gang rape thread. I am really sorry for your pain.
Indian society mainly has families where men and women roles seem to defined . It is in the modern era that women are treated this way even though most of us are educated human beings. Female foetecide, dowry system, sexual abuse all these stem from the fact that many people think that men are superior.
I really cannot understand why ? I mean are they superior physically ? no, some women are built bigger than men. Are they superior in mind ? cannot generalise. there are kalpana chawlas too in our world. Are they more courageous? no, we have kiran bedi too.
Also in India, a girl goes to her husband's house whereas boy supposed to stay with parents to take care of them. This is why many parents want boys !! Families have this stupid belief that they cannot take any help from their daughters !! Hence, the female foetecide, dowry etc.
About reporting abuse, society puts too much emphasis on virginity. That is the reason why families don't report sexual abuses. They fear that it is a shame. virginity as per me is not that important as human dignity is. When a person is forced and abused, it is a crime. We actually make sex a big deal over in India. I really feel students should have adoloscene classes which teaches about the changes that happen to girls and boys . And how girls and boys are both equal and hence should respect each other. And every family should respect their partners and thus teach by example to their children. If a man is imp for providing for the family, a woman is important for keeping the family intact. No more should it be that working out is for men and kitchen is for women.
JulieD thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: zorrro

This article brings out the shocking attitudes . The comments that follow bring back memories of the brutality 😒
http://daily.bhaskar.com/article/MP-BHO-delhi-gang-rape-she-should-have-submitted-to-rape-says-woman-scientist-4128063-NOR.html


I cannot believe that a woman made such a comment!!! She must be a man in a woman's body!! With comments like that from women, is there any surprise that crimes of rape go unpunished? Shame on you for being a woman!!😡
373577 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: Dostum

Had I been in Delhi.

What would you have done differently
Heart thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#7
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/jaipur/Ban-skirts-as-school-uniform-BJP-legislator/articleshow/17808806.cms


Such low and sick mentality makes me nauseous.
642126 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#8
The point is that we talk of empowerment but in reality we all have regressive mindset. Women are made to believe they are inferior and need to stay in "limits". Whereas men have an air of superiority about them. Females are just seen as fools or sex objects. They are easily dismissed as dumb or males start posting lewd comments for them even online.

People just talk but go back home and bear all discriminatory treatment. 99.9% females in India don't lead lives of their own and simply follow family or social diktat!
-Believe- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#9

A double standard culture and a phony morality...male chauvinistic country has lived in many kinds of slaveries, slaveries within slaveries...sometime I feel freedom will remain just superficial...India clings to its past,we all knows that 100s of years in India the woman has to throw herself into the fire(sati),,Why has no man ever burnt himself with his wife?!!?!?! ...There is a double standard abt everything...India has lived with a repressive morality,woman considered as property cannt have freedom,Who asks ones own property? If you want to dispose of your furniture you dispose of it.. If you want to burn it, you burn it... If you want to sell it, you sell it...

Another point is woman constitutes fifty percent of the population, but she is more important than just fifty percent bcos all/99% the children will be raised by the woman... If she is a slave she will create the slave mentality, unconsciously, in her children's minds... The girls and the boys ...everybody is raised by the woman.. they will be conditioned as slaves...woman can only give them what she has. So it is not that only fifty percent will remain in slavery..It will be a rare individual in India who is truly free!!!!?!!!!...public needs courage to create a revolution in the minds of women and men...otherwise keep the 'holy cowdung' Morality!! 😕

Edited by Prometeus - 12 years ago
Loving2011 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: Skepblun



People just talk but go back home and bear all discriminatory treatment. 99.9% females in India don't lead lives of their own and simply follow family or social diktat!

It's not just in India, but we Indian women in America also know what it feels like to have no voice and no rights. I have typed my own personal story several times as a reply, but the computer keeps erasing. Perhaps it's not a good idea to pour out my scars to strangers.
I will tell you that my life story can make me seem more oppressed than some of the modern girls in Mumbai. I can tell you that some of the most cruel sexual predators I've met are Indian ABCD boys from rich and educated families. I can tell you that I didn't even know what healthy consensual sex was until 5 years ago or so. I can you that I was brainwashed for years to think that I didn't have the right to say no. I can you tell you that I was raised that good Indian girls do as they're told, no matter what.
It was non-Indians that told me that what I was enduring wasn't normal, and that I needed to kick these bad and controlling people out of my life. Last night, I confessed to a good male friend about my life. He said "Don't feel embarrassed and don't blame yourself. No real man would ever force you to have sex, manipulate you or tear down your self-esteem. Most men want a woman to feel good."
I almost cried, because not even my own parents taught me this basic and simple fact. If I had known at an early age that I was in control of my own body and that I didn't have to put up with bad behavior, I would have told my one forceful Indian ex-boyfriend to back off.
I'm not surprised at that female doctor making insensitive comments. I know some women can also defend male abusers.
Edited by Loving2011 - 12 years ago

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