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Originally posted by: kablam151
Hey Loving2011! I know I'm a little late to this thread and am not even sure you'll see this but I wanted to say I completely understand what you are talking about! I found this thread after searching the internet to see if other Indian children in the US also experienced abuse growing up. My mother was physically abusive to my sister and I and is still verbally and emotionally abuse to this day. She and my father also turned a blind eye when my older sister began to abuse me using the same tactics my mother employed. Much of my experience was very textbook but when I attempted to confront my mother and sister about it I was given a bunch of clichd excuses, the most common of which is that the abuse was cultural. That is why I took to the web to see if abuse was really prevalent among Indian parents to see if the culture theory had any weight. But yours is one of the only post or stories I have found that talk about abuse by Indian parents. More and more I see posts and articles about Indian parents who did not resort to violence or who were over controlling but not abusive. So thank you for saying something because this thread has been helpful in debunking part of the cultural use of abuse myth. Understanding that what happened was abuse and not culture has been vital to healing the damage that has collected over the past 20 years.
Originally posted by: Loving2011
Looks like nobody has had the same experience! Oh well. I tried. Now, I don't feel so bad and guilty for detaching myself from the Indian community. My parents are very angry at me and think I'm too Americanized, but I can't be around people that I can't relate to. Even when it comes to dating Indian men, I've met quite a few that are very judgmental and condescending towards what I went through.
Originally posted by: Loving2011
Looks like nobody has had the same experience! Oh well. I tried. Now, I don't feel so bad and guilty for detaching myself from the Indian community. My parents are very angry at me and think I'm too Americanized, but I can't be around people that I can't relate to. Even when it comes to dating Indian men, I've met quite a few that are very judgmental and condescending towards what I went through.
Originally posted by: boreddamsel
well i have been through physical and emotional abuse and i still do.
Oh sorry I didn't see this one.. Thanks Mooms for quoting it, or I would have missed it!Good that you left India and moved to the US. Good for you!Let them think what they want to .. at least you will have some peace of mind!I think you should try dating non-Indian men.. I have heard they are more mature and sensible .. 😛 (Nothing against Indian men.. at least the ones I have come across lack both! 🤔)Ok geez.. sorry I just went through the entire post and saw that you have already been dating non-Indian men. Good for you! Don't listen to anyone. Just follow your heart! Even your parents can't force you to do anything, since you are in the US.. and please don't marry anyone if you are not remotely attracted to that person just for the sake of your parents! All they can do is fight with you. This might seem harsh, maybe you shouldn't go to India at all to visit them.. I am worried if they might force you to get married to some rich old guy, like you said!Tell me about it.. some of the Indians I met here are so narrow-minded .. and I used to think my family was orthodox! 😲
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