Women have landed on the moon. Reached for the stars and touched them. They have proved themselves equal to men in every way. Yet every 51 minutes a woman is sexually harassed. Every 21 minutes one woman is molested. Eve teasing is something that she has to contend with everyday.
Not long ago the deaths of Sarika Shah and Durga (both of them were victims of eve teasing) had shocked the citizens of Chennai. Police officials had gone on record saying that at least 3,000 cases of eve teasing were reported the same year.
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Since then the number has been on the rise. In Anna Nagar alone I get to hear of at least one such incident every week when I meet up with friends. What is more surprising is that the victims vary from middle-aged women to school and college going girls. The same diverse age group is noticed among the eve teasers. Studies show that 32 per cent of the eve teasers are students, 35 per cent are anti socials while the remaining 33 per cent are middle-aged men.
A recent incident narrated by a friend revealed a new perspective of the problem. The girl who was disgusted by what had happened was not willing to discuss the incident with either her family or the police. Besides, when she ran after the offender looking around desperately for some help, she was met with many curious and enquiring stares. However, no one came forward to help. Another incident that was reported in one of the leading dailies of the city narrated the case of a girl being harassed in one of the MTC buses. The staff in the bus were only concerned about the possible damage that the rowdies could cause to the bus. This is the attitude despite the fact that if the bus crew did not drive the victim to the police station to file a complaint they were liable to a fine of rupees one thousand.
One may argue that women are far safer in Chennai than in other metros like Mumbai or Delhi and the police have taken several steps to keep the situation under control. Yet, the women of this city continue to be victimised by eve teasers. What exactly is the pay off that these eve teasers get? According to some, it is something they do "just for fun". Others have said, "women enjoy the attention and we enjoy watching their reactions". Yet others say that the aggressive expressions of love that one sees in the movies are the motivational force. However, according to some psychologists the root cause of eve teasing is the patriarchal mindset of the Indian male. They like to believe that they have power over the women. They thrive on the fact that even today a large number of women still prefer to ignore rather than to confront.
What do women have to say on the matter? Well, most women are of the opinion that they have to equip themselves to handle the situation efficiently. According to most learning, an art of self-defence is the best way. Hence, martial arts training centres have mushroomed in the city. Many times, it is found that women are blamed for becoming victims of eve teasers. "The woman must have asked for it" or "she is dressed to invite trouble. "It is important that our girls be brought up with enough self-esteem to deal with comments like this.
Another reason that keeps women from taking action is fear. They are afraid that this will breed further enmity, which will prove to be dangerous. Now the million-dollar question is will law alone be able to stop eve teasing? The answer is an absolute no. The only way it can be stopped is by encouraging women to retaliate against eve teasers fearlessly. This will only be possible when she gets wholehearted support from the community.
It's the same story every day. You step on the street in the morning and jump out of your skin as a car hurtles towards you and swerves just before smashing you to a pulp. The driver laughs evilly and you're still cursing him under your breath as you pass a group of men standing at the corner, who burst into 'choli ke peechey kya hai' almost on cue. You pretend not to hear and get into an autorickshaw. (Let me not even start about the horrors of traveling in a bus in India and the daily fight against being groped.) The rickshaw driver adjusts his rear view mirror to get a better look at you, and you sit with your files and bag clutched close to your chest as you avoid eye contact with him through the journey. Two men on a scooter peek into the autorickshaw, decide they like what they see and follow you around for a few minutes (depending, of course, on how 'lukkha' they are) staring lecherously and giggling excitedly till the autorickaw driver takes pity on you and waves them off. You reach office and as you're about to enter the gate, a cyclist comes out of nowhere, slaps you on your butt and cycles off.
Office is fine. You have some form of control over your surroundings and take revenge on the male sex by bossing your peon around. At the 6:30 p.m. show you get 'completely unintentionally' jostled and felt up. Well, what did you expect? You should have sat at home and watched it on VCD you bad, bad girl. As you exit the hall a ruffian whistles and another one passes a lewd remark. You reach home, dodge another speeding vehicle with its underage driver listening to ear-blasting music and hooting as he passes you. 'A***ole!' you mutter irritated, hurriedly enter the gate and bang it shut as loud as you can. Just another day. So what's a woman to do? Many have resorted to carrying pins, pen-knives and even daggers as a deterrent. Others have taken self-defence classes and don't hesitate before landing a karate chop on the offender's shoulder blade. Fight back This doesn't mean you have to sock your offender in the face - no matter how tempting it may be. But being too shy and reserved to speak up is just going to work against you. You've got to look your offender in the face and speak up as loud as you can. The crowd will automatically be on your side and you'll have the satisfaction of watching the ball of slime mumble a denial and slink away. If you're being followed Nothing psyches your follower as much as this: Just walk up to him and start yelling at the top your voice, without letting him get a word in. Ask him for the name of his employer. Drop the 'You don't know who I am and who you're messing with' line. Tell him you're going to sic the police on his ass if he doesn't do the vanishing act. (Not recommended if you're talking to a 6 ft muscleman or to a group of hooligans, but a wimpy, skinny male will rue the day he crossed your path.) Walk in well-lit and frequented areas Don't walk through a dark, lonely street or you're only inviting trouble. In a well lit area you'll be able to see and avoid potential offenders. Be street smart Don't daydream and don't look lost - even if you are. Look as if you know exactly where you are going. Dress appropriately If you are going to spend the day in crowded areas, don't wear a mini skirt. True, women in salwar kameezes get harassed as well, but there's no need to call attention to yourself. Save your skimpy clothes for the nightclubs, when you're the one who's on a prowl! Know thy enemy Is the guy across the street waiting for you to pass by? Does he look like he's out for some 'fun'? Is he huddled with other men and just hanging out, doing nothing in particular? Then it's best to... Avoid potential harassers If you see a group of men hanging out, or a man who's making eye contact with you and trying to get your attention, take a detour. Better safe than sorry. Travel with a male escort Though this may not always be possible, try and work out some arrangement where you have a male escort. Eve-teasers by and large target women who are without a male escort. Of course, if they are very frustrated, even the presence of a man may not deter them – so better safe than sorry. Take the necessary precautions, drive with your cellphone handy, don't walk outdoors at night, and learn karate!
ahhhh, now that was quite a bit....😆
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