a family issue, about my son - Page 7

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

blue ice is just melting away her ideas... for an unknown reason

Yes she has pretty balanced views and I happen to be her No. 1 FAN.

Originally posted by: perplexed

There are other young boys of my son's age in Thailand. There are Indians from Sikh, Muslim and Hindu faiths. All of whom are well disciplined, learning, they value their culture and their goodness. They know who they are and what they must uphold. In this area my son slipped and fell down. But he will not remain in that situation, as I will not let that happen at any cost. Whether you think i am wrong here or right, this is my duty and i will do it. I need to convince my husband, and I know I can. I will try my best to provide a chance to my son.

If you seek advice you are on the wrong forum.. you need to get across to people who are in india... and they will provide sympathetic solutions. Many on this forum are either in the US or UK or pakistan...everybody here holds an unsympathetic and high subjective moral ground. Its a fact that your son has skittled away off course and unless you can get him to reform or take him out of that env... even getting him married would be an ordeal.. I feel you can get him married off and move him out of this env.. to stabilize him... if u were in india things would be much easier...

Originally posted by: perplexed

There are other young boys of my son's age in Thailand. There are Indians from Sikh, Muslim and Hindu faiths. All of whom are well disciplined, learning, they value their culture and their goodness. They know who they are and what they must uphold. In this area my son slipped and fell down. But he will not remain in that situation, as I will not let that happen at any cost. Whether you think i am wrong here or right, this is my duty and i will do it. I need to convince my husband, and I know I can. I will try my best to provide a chance to my son.

Ah I live in Singapore but I am not so harsh.

Originally posted by: Summer3

Ah I live in Singapore but I am not so harsh.

A mother should do what she has to do and I wish you all the best.

Your son needs a second chance and sometimes the situation is not as bad as it may seem and can be rectified and impoved upon.

May God Bless your efforts.

Challenges and upsets are part and parcel of life.

Its not about being harsh. The boy is a grown up adult - the question is what does he want? can his parents force their wishes on him?

Originally posted by: crazy_sunny

Its not about being harsh. The boy is a grown up adult - the question is what does he want? can his parents force their wishes on him?

Well kids going the wrong way is pretty common these days , especially in a country like Thailand which is well known for all kinds of krazy attractions.

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

If you seek advice you are on the wrong forum.. you need to get across to people who are in india... and they will provide sympathetic solutions. Many on this forum are either in the US or UK or pakistan...everybody here holds an unsympathetic and high subjective moral ground. Its a fact that your son has skittled away off course and unless you can get him to reform or take him out of that env... even getting him married would be an ordeal.. I feel you can get him married off and move him out of this env.. to stabilize him... if u were in india things would be much easier...

It doesn't matter where you're from....how does a geographical region justify ruining a girl's life? ok, forget about whether the marriage works out or not....why is some innocent girl obligated to change him, tame him. Doesn't she deserve someone better?😕
I don't even wanna know what you meant by 'unsympathetic' and high 'subjectice' moral ground. But let me just tell you, a lot of us are against the marriage route because we do care about the innocent girl's life, is that not sympathy.....compassion?😕 how would things be much easier in India...an the only one who's thinking about the girl's point of view?😕

Originally posted by: perplexed

It is my fault to a certain extent that I never really checked on my son as I do now. If I did this before, I could stop many things.

I am definitely not in favor of my son. He is in the wrong path and I know this. I dont intend to destroy any girls life, but I believe that Indian girls have the strength in their relationships by which they can turn copper to gold. I have the right to try and do whatever I can to get my child's life together. Beyond that it will be fate.

.

Marriage: No.. Def not the solution. Poor girl, why should she be the one to learn after marriage her husband is 2 timing cheat? why should she fix the problem?

and Coming from a person whose parents are VERY traditional and religious and have tried their mighty best to bring their children up like that too... I admit I am not a traditional Indian, I grew up in a different country, my schooling was different... I am a NZer through and through and I wouldnt change that for the world including my parents. I do not cheat or anything like that but I have fiance who isnt Indian and I love him. I think if a parent loves their child they should be happy with their childs decision and let them make mistakes...

Have a talk about how you feel about his sleeping around and cheating etc but dont command anything because if he is anything like me, he will stop listening and block you right out. Let him know about the consequences and your thoughts...

My point always has been, if my parents wanted me to be a good traditional indian girl then they should have left me in India.

Oh and please dont abuse me for my opinions, I am not forcing them on anyone but they are mine and thats who I am...:)

This remind me of this other thread that was opened.

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/pavitra-rishta/1549270/tortured-and-terrorized

It's a must-read to get some perspective on this situation.