a family issue, about my son - Page 6

1. Had I a daughter? I already have a daughter. No I would never have let her. Being honest here, I would never have let that happen. But that would be my decision. However, if my daughter would know the man and developed trust in him, and said that she wanted to be with him and had the potential that he would be a better man given a second chance, I would not have come in between and let them be together. Everyone who really tries should get a second chance in life. This is why I wish to send my son for several months to India to live around the girls place, so that the girl can herself chose him, or reject him. The girl will get ample time to decide on her own. Neither I nor anyone else will interfere. However this is just my mind, I dont know whether such a wish would materialize even. I need to convince my son, talk with him. Try and see some genuine change in though, he needs to give some chance to himself, the intention should be there.

2. I dont need to claim to be an Indian, so you better watch out there. As for those who criticize, I do not blame them. Criticism can be in a way of saying that my son is wrong here. He is lost, he is in the wrong path, to a great extent it is his fault. He wasted his purity and his religion, his time etc. I do agree to this. When questions came on my decision to get my son married, that was criticism which I can hear. But to say that he is hopeless or "nothing can be done" is casting a stone. In our culture we do not cast stones. This is my learning of the true Indian culture, which is not polluted. Anyone who will caste a stone should get slaps, and this is not attack but something they deserve.

3. I understood blue-ice good enough, and there are some elements in India and everywhere else who have such a way of thinking. I dont have anything to do with it, but to say about most of India getting such a mentality is flawed, and I said what I knew best to say. The person needs to research the truth about our culture, not just point out the various malpractices and oppressive misuse and misinterpretations which can be found anywhere in the world. If you do not agree, you may live your own understanding. But for this our culture shall never suffer, there are believers still, and the reforms where necessary will come from there.

4. I am still anonymus. This was my point. Peang is one of the most common name in Thailand. Indira is common too, and so is Roshan. There are millions with our names in India, and hundreds in IF. The name doesnt affect our anonymity, but the ID does, as I have another ID here. If you wish to respect my anonymity as I am not really trying to cause trouble, I would appreciate that. If you still want to remain confused, I am sorry but I cannot help that. We might not connect here.

5. There are things that a wife can do, and a husband sister or mother cannot. Had you taken more interest in our land, and not its failed state due to various forms of political, economic, social and cultural corruptions, you would realize where I am coming from. I am not talking about corruption, but the strength of our true traditions and culture. It is still there, and I have hope in it. Something no one can break. Yes we who have hope still exist.

Our Indian girls, those who value our culture, should be praised for their power and patience. The girl who I wish to have my son married to, will chose him or reject him herself. It will be her choice. I will not interfere from the beginning, but if she does come to my home I will stand on her side.

Young girls who are influenced by the wrong picture of India and its glory, while getting pulled by the tempting bright lights of the western horizon, should either rethink about themselves, or just dont bother to think about our land at all, specially if the only time they think of it is about its malpractices and misinterpretations. About how they dont like what India is, and how they want to change its completely, along with its innate precious and unique goodness which is unmatched in this universe. But as they say, you do whatever you want to. The sun will rise always from the eastern horizon.

India will rise only with its colors, and no other color can be there. Yes we are in many calamities, which make us look corrupt at times. But all the forms of corruption will certainly subside, and a brighter and more true picture will certainly emerge.

There are other young boys of my son's age in Thailand. There are Indians from Sikh, Muslim and Hindu faiths. All of whom are well disciplined, learning, they value their culture and their goodness. They know who they are and what they must uphold. In this area my son slipped and fell down. But he will not remain in that situation, as I will not let that happen at any cost. Whether you think i am wrong here or right, this is my duty and i will do it. I need to convince my husband, and I know I can. I will try my best to provide a chance to my son.

Originally posted by: perplexed

1. Had I a daughter? I already have a daughter. No I would never have let her. Being honest here, I would never have let that happen. But that would be my decision. However, if my daughter would know the man and developed trust in him, and said that she wanted to be with him and had the potential that he would be a better man given a second chance, I would not have come in between and let them be together. Everyone who really tries should get a second chance in life. This is why I wish to send my son for several months to India to live around the girls place, so that the girl can herself chose him, or reject him. The girl will get ample time to decide on her own. Neither I nor anyone else will interfere. However this is just my mind, I dont know whether such a wish would materialize even. I need to convince my son, talk with him. Try and see some genuine change in though, he needs to give some chance to himself, the intention should be there.

But don't you realize how unfair and unjust would that be for the girl? Don't you realize that you are cheating on her and using her as a sacrificial lamb just for your own selfish intent? As a woman - and a mother yourself - you should be able to see the seriousness of what you are willing to do. Finally, what makes you think that your son is not going to continue with his 'adventures' even after the marriage? Frankly, do you honestly feel that the marriage is going to work as a miracle or magic that would bring a change into your son overnight? I'm not implying that once promiscuous people can't be monogamous - because they can if they want to be - but there isn't any guarantee in your case that your son will, is there? Would you keep ignoring your son's extramarital affairs (if it does happen - and I am not saying it will) and again look for some 'quick' solutions to that problem too?

It's ironic and a tad bit hypocritical on your part to say that you found two posts - that questions your motives and ethics and says your son does not have a chance of redeeming himself - offensive when you are freely making judgements on others too and are being rather selfish with your actions.

Promiscuity isn't as big a problem as you are thinking it to be. No, it's not my thing and I can't wrap my head around it (probably because of the way I was raised up) but I don't condemn those who are so. What I can't tolerate is infidelity, double standards and hypocrisy - those are much bigger problems and moral corruptions.

Originally posted by: perplexed

4. I am still anonymus. This was my point. Peang is one of the most common name in Thailand. Indira is common too, and so is Roshan. There are millions with our names in India, and hundreds in IF. The name doesnt affect our anonymity, but the ID does, as I have another ID here. If you wish to respect my anonymity as I am not really trying to cause trouble, I would appreciate that. If you still want to remain confused, I am sorry but I cannot help that. We might not connect here.

Originally posted by: Mihirism

Im kind of around that same age myself and last thing I would want is someone getting me married.

Here, according to me, there a couple solutions that will be really effective. Like moving away from Thailand. Now I know your husband's business/job is settled in Thai but compromising is necessary everywhere.

Another thing would be if he really starts liking a girl from his heart. He will listen to her no matter what.

PS: sorry if u guys already talked about this earlier, didn't read all pages 😳

Originally posted by: Summer3

Why is Blue Ice ji removing her pearls of advice.

Has someone upset her ?????????????😲