MOTW - The Second Apprentice (Part Deux) - Page 9

Originally posted by: karandel_2008

Mister K booing everyone out? Is it the excitement of pairing up with my_view? 😉

btw I thought that SVCG will be the lucky gal 😆

Originally posted by: PhoeniXof_Hades

Two at home. One could be at orphanage or somewhere, maybe even at your house, hiding. 😆 You have totally ruined Angie's character. 😆

Nah, gauri Mata ji can never be done with raising kiddos. She raised us all. Now just one child we are talking about. 😛

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

[quote=karandel_2008]

Krystal & Icethinker:

Tsk Tsk Krystal is getting preheated (through Empti) Ice-thinker 😆

This one is a rab ney bana dee type jodi ? perfect for each other as only Krystal can control Icethinker. Still Krystal got so frustrated with that she decided to divorce him and marry someone else. So she inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day she received 10 letters from all the esteemed ladies mentioned in this post. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Now, I know everyone here wants to know why Krystal was so frustrated with Icethinker. Here's why:

Krystal: The car has a flat tire

Icethinker: Does it look like I have 'firestone' written on my head?

Krystal: "Ugh" and she walked outta the room.

The next day when Icethinker walked in from work:

Krystal: The dish washer broke down.

Icethinker: Does it look like I have 'whirlpool' written on my forehead?

Krystal: Ughhhhh

The next day Icethinker came home and noticed the tire was changed and the dishwasher was fixed.

Icethinker: How did you get this stuff done?

Krystal: The guy next door told me he'd fix them if I gave him a French kiss OR if I baked him a cake.

Icethinker: Oh what kinda cake did ya bake him?.

Krystal: Does it look like I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead?

Did I not tell ya that only Krystal can handle Icethinker!

oh lawd these cakes and their stories 😆

P1nk & Debu:

thats why Debu is friendly with Empti. Trying to climb the ladder step by step debu eh?

P1nk's marriage to Debu was on a rebound. After Empti fell for Ajnu and left her, she went to a bar, got drunk and married Debu then and there. The bartender was the witness. P1ink, being the honest person that she is, told debu everything after couple of days when the hangover was gone. Debu asked P1nk, "How come you never tried to get Empti back from Ajnu?" P1nk, mature beyond her years, responded, "When a woman steals your Don Juan of a boyfriend, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him."

Needless to say, Debu and P1nk's marriage was doomed from the beginning because Debu knew that despite P1nk's claims, she was not getting over Empti and that he was a mere rebound for her. One day, after a bitter fight, Debu said to P1nk, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." P1nk replied, "Yes, dear, but I was drunk and didn't notice."

lets see what debu says here

😆

Karan & Sneha:

oh boy fir wohi teri rakhi ki kahani yaad aayi 😆

As we all know, Karan takes the "hum sab bharatwasi bhai-behen hain" part of our National pledge way too seriously. So, he practically roams around with a rakhi in his pocket and makes every single girl he crosses path with his sister. Luckily, Sneha was MIA for a long time and Karan's path never crossed with her.

arey baba tum sapne lete raho. Sneha ko kab ka sissy bana chuka hoon main 😛

Hence, he grudgingly agreed to marry Sneha, True to his self, Karan started having cold feet right before the wedding and came to me with the some of the questions that were bugging him. Below is how I guided him through his troubled days:

Karan: Is it all right to bring a date to the wedding?
Me: Not if you are the groom (wondering silently whether he was asking about the romantic date or the date as in khajoor!).

kyon date ko rakhi nahin bandhi maine? 😆

Karan: What music is recommended for the wedding ceremony?
Me: Anything except 'Tied to the Whipping Post'.

What about "bhaiya mere rakhi ke bandhan ko nibhana"?

Karan: How can you tell the married men at a wedding reception?
Me: They're the ones dancing with everyone but their wives.

Karan: What is a wedding tragedy?
Me: Hon, Sneha should be asking this one (while praying silently that for Sneah, it's not a case of marrying Karan for love, and then find out he has no money!).

Karan: How do I make Sneha stop buying all these gloves?
Me: Buy her a 6 karat diamond ring, you dumba$$!

Karan bought a 6" diameter rakhi instead and went to Sneha's house in the evening! They split up amicably even before they could become Mister and Mrs, Karandel!!!

Kyon ab ismein meri kya galti hai? 😕 12" diameter waali sell hi nahin karte woh log 😆

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

Mister K & my_view:

The Ks, as we call them, moved in our neighborhood few months ago. They seem like a nice couple but keeps mostly to themselves. From what I have read in your posts about India, the prying and nosy neighbors piss you off big time.! 😊 They only speak when you speak to them. K is a software something by profession --- one of those computer geeks, you know. We all often spot him talking to himself on his patio or backyard. One time the whole block was having a block party in our neighborhood park and the Ks were also invited (pstttt?I invited that cute Italian guy too but that stupid Sarina😡 --- she refused to let me bring Aria to the park!!! What a jealous bitch!😡 I think she is hitting on my crush because bazzy is still MIA. She forgot how I helped her in NOT finding Bazzy when I held my tongue back at the police station....held my tongue back --- can you even imagine how hard it is for me!!!!).

Getting back to the block party --- The Ks came in late and left early. We all got a glimps of K's sense of humor during that brief trip. K cracked a joke that had the whole block 🤣. We are lame that way. We laugh our heads off over every damn thing. K said my_view gets historical everytime they have an argument. G.. where have you been ? we don't have argument we have agreement..! "You mean hysterical," I asked, chuckling. K gave me that look which he reserves for his very favorite people ? the dismissing royally kind of look. I have seen him giving the exact same look to Angie too. I guess Angie and I are his favoritest people on the block😳. I sometimes wonder though how come no one is jealous of angie and me over this😕

Anyways, coming to K's joke at the party --- if you remembered, I said to him he means "hysterical" before getting myself royally dismissed😳. K insisted, "No, I mean HISTORICAL,". "Every argument we have, my_view will go .."I still remember that time when you?????"

🤣 I bet you found that mighty funny too?huh?huh?huh. Why the crap am I talking like Junie B. Jones? **slaps myself** and **tells myself** --- get back to your senses, Gauri, get back to your senses. You never see Angie react that way --- do you! huh..huh...okay, stop now.

Anyways, what I remember from that block party is that my_view did not laugh at K's joke. In fact if looks could kill, K would have evaporated into thin air then and there. Oh how he wishes he could do that .😆 it would end his who am i search.

....Anyways, K knew he screwed up big time. Eventually, we all got nostalgic and started remembering India. Sarina mentioned how she loves Mumbai except for the lechies she had to deal with in public places. This caught everyone's attention and all us girls' started talking about the nightmares we have faced back home at one point or the other. Believe and Souro got defensive as they thought we were talking about them. But K was our hero there ? right girls! He floored the men with his excellent satire that he made up then and there😃. I swear it was his own creation ? not a copy paste job like I am doing on Karan's task here. K is one of those intellectual types you know.😳 (I know angie is blushing too reading thses lines) ..

😆 Ha-Ha...

That satire was so good that all of us girls just stared at K with our jaws dropped ? I swear that's how good t'was?. Cougar attack in progress.! 😆 and I am still speaking like that Junie B **slaps myself again** Anyways, I kinda missed bahni that day 😭and I swear I heard Souro thinking how he was missing Qwerty.

All of us girls were maha impressed with our new neighbor, Mister K --- the smartypants. Before we could recover, my_view started clapping and said, "That was very good, K!"

We thought, "Chalo, all's well between these two at least." But then something happened that made us all hopping mad at the Ks --- yep, you got that right --- we were mad at both of them😡.

K hugged my_view and told her, "I have a lot of respect for a lot of individuals on this forum but if there is one, just one, whom I had to pick, who I know for sure would enjoy the satire of that post, that would have been you 🤗."

We could see how openly he was sucking up to her🤢. I also heard something crash in Angie's head just like something crashed in mine --- K fell down from that podium both of us had set up specially for him. Still, to be fair to K --- May be he knew how deep in trouble he was given his joke on my_view being "historical"😛. That was a GOOD one, wasn't it 🤣. Yeah... excellent ! except history is something I avoid like plague.. I can't remember dates and names...

I guess, by that time, my_view has also guessed how Angie and I get special royally dismissals by her husband and I also feel that she was mega jealous of us both and I don't care any more if I keep speaking like some 2^nd grader (Junie B. Jones, you know. She is a super cool second grader --- for all you morons out there who never read Junie B. Jones books)

So, my_view had to rub it in how superior they are and how dumb we all are😡. Otherwise, why would she say, "Its your creativity so beautifully articulated Mr. K. Its (sp) much more satisfying than reading the usual banter that goes on the forums. You never choose to dumb yourself down to fit in."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😲 😲 😲

Funny Ha-Ha.. I knew this would end up in your MOTW somehow as a witty charm..after you got past the seething jealousy..

She also said some thing about creativity and sociology and science and other crap like that but I was mighty mad at her and I knew it then and there that I am so gonna tell on her in my MOTW and I just did. So, HA!

pstttt....Angie, can I hide behind you? K is glaring at me

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

Check G's K. She has it listed whos q is on what page.

Yes, Debayon has exams and then flying to India the week after so he is starting this weekend and you on next weekend. I need a commitment from him confirmed though. But he better not say no to Mommy. 😆

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

Middy & Mindgoogling:

Middy once told Mindgoogling that he should be more affectionate. So, Googly got two girlfriends!!! It's amazing that they somehow got over hat obstacle and ended up marrying each other (my condolences to Googly).

Anyways, last evening, I stopped at my favorite watering hole after a hard day's work to relax. I noticed Googly next to me order a shot and a beer. Googly drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket.

This continued several times before my curiosity got the best of me. I leaned over to Googly and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual. Why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot and beer?"

Googly replied, "There's a picture of my wife, Middy, in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I'm headin' home!"?????????????.

❤️ 🥳❤️🥳

Middy Cat & Googly Cat

and

...

...

...

The Naked Cat

😛 😭 😛 😭

GG, even before I read a word I had liked that epic. 😉

Originally posted by: my_view

G.. this was seriously funny..! I know it sounds oxyoronic but I had to say it that way since you associate the word serious with me. 😊

You not only have maintained your radiant vivacious glow with this task but have polished it further.!

Now go make that spa appointment.. 😆

Originally posted by: Mister.K.

G, all of the couples were matches made in your heaven (Gauri ne bana di jodi!!!). I loved the entire post. I have no expert commentary; I think all of it, in its entirety, was hilarious and bejeweled with comedic gems.