I wish you would not have edited out the initial two paragraphs out of my post. Without that the remaining too seem out of context, and you have taken way too much liberty at misconstruing everything. This is DM and not everyone here has seen Milay Jab Hum Tum. I myself do not follow the show, and stated clearly that I am unfamiliar with the content. My post addressed the issue of intimacy on television in general.
Firstly, physical intimacy and public display of affection are completely separate things. Public display of intimacy is merely when people show their affections in public. Many cultures are uncomfortable with it because they believe that such emotions are better kept private between two individuals. In fact the thought of associating intimacy with the public display of affection seems highly ironic.
Intimacy is when relationships between two people get really close and personal. A fulfilling romantic relationship has a healthy balance of emotional, intellectual and physical intimacy. Physical intimacy is a part of such relationships and a part of society in general. Its a part of life and should not be treated as a taboo subject or being portrayed in certain formats. Now that by no means that it should be plastered everywhere or used for cheap thrills. In fact had you cared to not take my post out of context, you would have seen that I make a clear distinction between aesthetic portrayal and cheap vulgarity, and I am against the latter.
When physical intimacy is made taboo, you turn an integral aspect of human life into something to be ashamed of. People are made to feel embarrassed and awkward to even think of such intimacy. People never have a healthy understanding of physical intimacy and can be overwhelmed when actually facing it. Many people understand love and relationships emotionally, but feel lost when it comes to physical intimacy. I think desi culture needs to move away from that. There is a way physical intimacy can be discussed in a respectful manner, that society does not have to feel squeamish over.
You know I have never said desi culture was backward and narrow-minded. Nothing in my post even alludes to that. I merely state that desi culture is different, and it ought to slowly change. Change does not have to mean that something is drastically wrong. Even good things can be changed for the better. I think your jumping to conclusions goes to show the mentality of people who want to draw black and white lines in culture, divide them as western and Indian, and make judgment calls. There are several cultures in the world, cultures created by diverse people across the world. Culture is beautiful, culture is fluid, culture is ever evolving. Cultures are different, and different by no way should ever mean deficient. It would be prudent to avoid trying to tear up culture into these lines all the time.
Now if you are unaware they do teach the human reproductive system in school, just like they teach animals and plants. Very scientifically, very coldly, and actually the 'taboo' factor makes teachers so red that they actually skim over it in a blur. It left me very confused on why the heart was in a whole different system. OMG! Its not in the neurological system or the reproductive system, and it only pumps blood. The movies lied to me all my life.
Human relationships cannot always be understood as a science. When it comes to physical intimacy there is more to it then a science, it involves human emotions, morals, thought processes and life choices. With all the influences that are accessible to adolescents through the internet and peers, they need more guidance than ever. Especially desi kids who get very conflicting messages of physical intimacy from various sources. Parents need to shed their inhibitions and be a positive influence on their children when it comes to relationships. Of course parents can only talk to their children. There is no way you can get an assured guarantee that your children will never watch po*n.
However, I think any parent would want to ensure they have instilled the ability of making wise choices and laid good moral foundations to physical intimacy so that children are not negatively influenced by po*n. For example children need to be equipped with the understanding of what physical intimacy means in a relationship. What it means to wait till they are ready for every step of the intimacy process. What the consequences of poor choices can be. Discuss what peer pressure feels like and come with solutions together to combat peer pressure. Learning to genuinely love and respect each other, especially proper treatment of women. Learning what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Understanding the importance of relationships in general and how to make right choices in human relationships - and a lot more.
po*nography is notorious for negative treatment of women, making it seem that brutality and force are acceptable, glorifying promiscuity and risque behavior, or even propagating other minor myths on sexuality. Every parent has to ask, are you comfortable with letting your children somehow get their hands on such material without having the security that you have instilled good values and ability to make right choices in there? Are you willing to expose your children, raw and vulnerable to the world, without the assurance that they can talk to you? Parents ought to remember that the world is a smaller place and children can be exposed to things they never dreamed off. Its a choice parents have to make. If they want to leave their teens vulnerable to it - so be it. There are way too many kids out there who wish they could talk to their parents and receive guidance regarding these matter too.
Ok so you are also questioning me if I am hypocritical as a viewbie, with my stance on intimacy. A least that is what it seems like.
This is what the COC states related to the materials you question.
3. Posting messages that display or link to po*nographic or sexually offensive material. Posting sexually suggestive materials or graphic intimate details of sexual nature whether in story form or while discussing an episode will not be allowed. Debates on subjects which are sensitive and adult will be closely monitored for content. Any topic containing videos, pictures, articles or individual postings by members on Nudity, discussions or postings related to any kind of nudity or po*n, and not deemed fit for an universal audience will be closed and trashed and warnings given. It also applies to published articles. Whether any such topic is appropriate in a section will be decided by the Dev Team and the decision of the Dev Team on any such kind of topic shall be final.
14. Using expressions or language in posts that are considered foul, vulgar, hateful, bigoted, sexually harassing, racially offensive, or are in any way discriminatory. Whether an expression falls within this definition will be determined at the discretion of India-Forums staff and/or India-Forums appointed forum moderators and their decision will be final.
If you read carefully there isabsolutely no prohibition on actual discussion of physical relationships (some subsections do choose to impose these). Only sexually explicit material that is graphic or po*nographic in nature is prohibited. Thats a world of difference. Secondly neither international COPPA compliance policies nor section 67 related to obscenity of the Indian Information Technology act prohibit discussion of physical relations. The universal prohibition is on po*nography, explicit graphic or violent material. Neither the law or the COC conflict with my stance.
In fact on DM here we have had discussions on a variety of subjects ranging from sex education in schools, homosexuality, pre-marital sex, marriage and live-in relationships, debates on content or portrayals in media and a lot more and barring a few incident members have been able to engage in these discussions in a respectable, polite and mature manner. I'm actually quite proud of many of the regulars here and their ability to handle sensitive subjects.
I don't follow this show, nor do I care to so I will take your word that the scene was unnecessary and distasteful. However, I would not write off the youth as naive and innocent. The supply exists and sustains only because there is a demand for it. Its a reflection on the direction where youth are turning to. I'm not sure about the context, but heck way back 10-15 years ago there were alleys and areas where school and college kids went to make out. But if we want to move to aesthetic responsible portrayal, someone has to take the initiative and not 'shy' away. People are free to leave intimacy 'private' and let this wave take over.
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