Everything is pre planned- Suhas - Page 2

The Joint Family System is convenient for parents of male children. It is also the biggest reason why all Indian parents pray, fast, bless, abort or kill for a budhape ka sahara

We even steal, or secretly replace our female babies with male babies in hospitals.

We openly express sympathy when a girl child is born.

We also believe that 50% of all equal adults in India (and their children and grandchildren) belong to their spouse's family. From the moment they are born they are prepared for being able to survive, adjust and accept a life that they may or may not want.

All paraya dhans are expected to give up their identity when they marry. They can also berestrained from using this new identity.

It is like society is telling a woman - a daughter is a commodity who is under the control of her father only to be subsequently transferred and "held" by her husband. She must do everything to transition from an ideal daughter to an ideal daughter in law.

A woman growing up in India is taught how to be a good daughter, daughter-in-law and wife however in the eyes of her parents she seems to have no real identity, dreams and aspirations of her own. After all she is "paraya dhan."

It is extremely fascinating that there is a disproportionately high amount of pressure on the woman, both from within her family and outside, to not create a separate identity for herself. We would rather address her as a Mrs so and so than by her first name. Infact most married women are also very comfortable introducing themselves as Mrs so and so. Her new surname becomes the most significant aspect of her identity. Finally the "paraya dhan" has reached it's destination. Mission accomplished.

Hence i wish this dehleez concept outbreaks parayadhan concept and thus showing us that her maikaa and sasuraal both are her responsibilities

Originally posted by: Soapoperasrfun

I am coming around to believe that there will be no misunderstandings between Adarsh and Swadheenta. They will continue to support each other. They will prove to everyone including Suhasini that no matter what the odds, if you support each other, you will emerge victorious. It has to be that... because if dragging, creating misunderstandings, problems was the idea, then they would not make it a finite series. Humm, makes sense to me 😃

Originally posted by: shruthiravi

@Gayatri I hate the surname change thing. Even the most forward thinking women change their surname post marriage and use it officially. In my community even the first name of the women is changed.

It is really disheartening. I use my maiden name only in all official transaction. It is like standing for what I believe in.

Only thing I take care is, I do respond if some old people call me by the name given at my sasural. I learned to use it. Because with elderly people certain things you cannot argue and if I allow them to call me by that name given in sasural they will think I am not a rebel, so will trust me and I can talk to the present generation and make changes. 😉

My idea is rebel, but create an illusion of no rebellion 😆😆

Originally posted by: Soapoperasrfun

@ yawfeh 👏

Although we see some changes in the urban Indian society now, it is hardly significant enough for us to notice an effect. I agree with everything you said. I have no shame in acknowledging that it happens even in my family, a so called educated family with a great deal of accomplished laureates. I was told by my mother that I should accommodate and adjust when I got married, and that it was up to me to make sure there are no problems in my "new home". As a revolt, I retained my maiden name and have not taken my husband's name.

I live in UK. I have lived in the US. I know of my friends who will change their entire life styles and become sati savitri's the moment their in-laws plan a visit to them. It is truly shameful and hurtful. I don't know when it will change completely.