Posted:
WOMEN IN THE LIFT.
(This is very old story of mine . Which I written in Vivek , Tasha & Kajal era. So they all are here)
SUNI'S WIFE:(SCREAMING) , BACHAO , BACHAO!!!!!!!!!
SUNIL: KYA HUA??
WIFE: DIKHTA NAHI KYA??? LIFT BAND PAD GAYI
SUNIL: ARE, BAPRE!!!!!!!! C.I.D. KO PHONE KARO!!!!!!!!
(C.I.D. APPEARS IN THERE CAR)
A.C.P. PRADYUMN: HAN! KYA HUA????
SUNIL:SIR. LIFT BAND PAD GAYI. WAISE YE KAM TO FIRE BRIGADE KA HAI, LEKIN T.V. DEKHE HAME BHI PATA CHAL GAYA HAI, KI KUCH BHI HO,C.I.D. KO BULAYA JATA HAI & AAPKA NUMBER HAR KISI KE PAS HOTA HAI !
A.C.P. : THIK HAI. DAYA , JAO, USKE BIWI KO CHUDAO.
( DAYA RESCUES HIS WIFE)
A.C.P. (SHAKING HIS FINGER): SACHIN, VIVEK,PURI LIFT CHECK KARO. EK EK KONA CHAN MARO. PATA TO CHALE, YE LIFT ATKI TO ATKI KAISE??
(SACHIN & VIVEK WEARS HAND GLOVES & SCANS WHOLE LIFT)
VIVEK: SIR, YE CHAIR MILI HAI SIR. SHAYAD KHUNI KI HOGI
A.C.P. : KYA BAKWAS KAR RAHE HO? AGAR KHUN HI NAHI HUA TO KHUNI KA KAISE HOGA??
VIVEK: OOPS!! SORRY SIR. HAR EPISODE ME YAHI BOLKE AADAT PAD GAYI HAI. KYA KARE???
FREDDY: SIR, LAGTA HAI YE CHAIR KOI AATMA KA HAI , MERI WIFE BHI YAHI KEHTI HAI.
A.C.P. : FREDRICKS, CHUP RAHO.
A.C.P. ( AGAIN SHAKING HIS FINGER): KAHI AISA TO NAHI , YE KISI KI SAJISH HO , KISI AATANKVADI KI???
WATCHMAN: SIR, SIR , AAPKO KABSE BATANE KI KOSHISH KAR RAHA HUN, KI YE CHAIR LIFTMAN KI HAI. WO ISPAR BAITHTA HAI!!!!!!
ABHIJEET: CHUP! EKDAM CHUP RAHO SAMJHE??? C.I.D. KE KAM MAIN DAKHAL KYUN DI AYEE??? HUM C.I.D. HAIN , HAME SIMPLE CHEEZ BHI COMPLICATED BANANE KI AADAT HAI
A.C.P. : DAYA , LIFT KA DARWAJA TODO AUR POORI LIFT DR. SALUNKHE KE PAS LE CHALO. ABHIJEET TUM BHI USKE SATH JAO.
DAYA: YES SIR
ABHIJEET: HE HE. THANK U SIR.
A.C.P. : MUJHE TO LAGTA HAI, KI YE KISI BADI AATANKVADI KI SAAJISH HAI. SHAHAR KE SARE LIFT BIGADNE KI.
KAJAL ( SHOWING HER ATTITUDE) : HO SAKTA HAI SIR
A.C.P. ( SHAKING HIS FINGER): SACHIN, TASHA, TUM EK KAM KARO , SHAHAR ME JITNE BHI LIFTS HAI, SAB UTHA LAO. LOGON KO BAHAR NIKALO. SACHIN , TUM WAISE BHI DAYA KI COPY KARTE HO, TO LIFT KA DARWAJA BHI TUM TODOGE.FREDDY, TUMHE KOI KAM NAHI HAI ,TO TUM INKE SATH PURE SHAHAR MAIN GHUMO AUR SABKO WIFE KI BATE BOLKE PAKAO. KAJAL TUM MERE SATH YAHI RUKO AUR BUILDING KE LOGON KO APNA ATTITUDE DIKHAO. MAIN YAHI PE BAITHKE UNGLI HILATA HU.
A.C.P. (SHAKING HIS FINGER) :DEKHTE HAI CASE SOLVE HOTA HAI KYA???
A.C.P. (SHAKING HIS FINGER) :DEKHTE HAI CASE SOLVE HOTA HAI KYA???
( DAYA & ABHIJEET AT DR. SALUNKHE'S LAB.)
(SALUNKHE IS JUST SITTING IDEALLY)
ABHIJEET: ARE DOCTORSAB, KYA HUA CHEHRE KA RANG KYUN UD GAYA??
DR. SALUNKHE: BOSS, MAIN SAB KUCH JANTA HU.HAR WAQT MERI INSULT MAT KARO. YE JO CHAIR HAIN , WO CHAIR HAIN HI NAHI!!!!!!!
ABHIJEET: KYA ? YE AAP KYA KEH RAHE HAIN? MAIN A.C.P. SIR KO PHONE KARTA HU.
(AFTER SOME TIME A.C.P. ARRIVES.)
A.C.P. : HA, SALUKHE, KYA HUA?? YAR, JAB KABHIBHI HUM KOI CASE SOLVE KARTE HAI, TUM APNI TANG BICH ME JARUR ADA DETE HO
TARIKA: (COUGH, COUGH) SIR, DR. SAB NE ABHIJEET SE JHUTH KAHA. YE CHAIR HI HAIN. SIR NE MAJAK KIYA.
A.C.P. : KYA? YAR SALUNKHE, YE KOI MAJAK KA WAQT HAIN? PHIR SE GIRLFRIEND CHOD KI GAYI KYA?
SALUNKHE: ( ANGRILY) EXCUSE ME! GIRLFRIEND MERI HAIN, TUMHE USSE KYA? A.C.P. PRADYUMN!!!
A.C.P: HE BHAGWAN !! TU MUJHE UTHA LE!!! UTHA LE!! SALUNKHE, TUM MERA NAM LEKE BAT KAR RAHE HO?
SALUNKHE: TO KYA? WO MERA PERSONAL MATTER HAI. AUR EK BAT, YE FORENSIC LAB HAIN ! KOI MECHANIC KI DUKAN NAHI , JO LIFT AUR CHAIR UTHA LAYE. KYA HUA , TO LIFT BIGAD GAYI ! MAIN ELECTRICIAN HU KYA? ISLIYE MAINE JHUTH KAHA ! SAMJHE??
TARIKA: SIR, YE JO CHAIR HAIN WO MAMULI CHAIR HAI, AUR USME SIRF LIFTMAN KI UNGLIYON KE NISHAN HAI.
A.C.P: CHALO ,SAB! US LIFTMAN KO MILTE HAI
TARIKA: (COUGH, COUGH) SIR, DR. SAB NE ABHIJEET SE JHUTH KAHA. YE CHAIR HI HAIN. SIR NE MAJAK KIYA.
A.C.P. : KYA? YAR SALUNKHE, YE KOI MAJAK KA WAQT HAIN? PHIR SE GIRLFRIEND CHOD KI GAYI KYA?
SALUNKHE: ( ANGRILY) EXCUSE ME! GIRLFRIEND MERI HAIN, TUMHE USSE KYA? A.C.P. PRADYUMN!!!
A.C.P: HE BHAGWAN !! TU MUJHE UTHA LE!!! UTHA LE!! SALUNKHE, TUM MERA NAM LEKE BAT KAR RAHE HO?
SALUNKHE: TO KYA? WO MERA PERSONAL MATTER HAI. AUR EK BAT, YE FORENSIC LAB HAIN ! KOI MECHANIC KI DUKAN NAHI , JO LIFT AUR CHAIR UTHA LAYE. KYA HUA , TO LIFT BIGAD GAYI ! MAIN ELECTRICIAN HU KYA? ISLIYE MAINE JHUTH KAHA ! SAMJHE??
TARIKA: SIR, YE JO CHAIR HAIN WO MAMULI CHAIR HAI, AUR USME SIRF LIFTMAN KI UNGLIYON KE NISHAN HAI.
A.C.P: CHALO ,SAB! US LIFTMAN KO MILTE HAI
FINALLY C.I.D. REACHES AT LIFT MAN'S HOUSE. THE DOOR IS CLOSED. AS USUAL!
SACHIN: FREDDY, TUMHE KYA LAGTA HAI , KYA HUA HOGA?
( FREDDY BEGAN 2 CRY)
SACHIN: FREDDY, TUMHE KYA LAGTA HAI , KYA HUA HOGA?
( FREDDY BEGAN 2 CRY)
DAYA : ARE, FREDDY KYA HUA?
FREDDY: SOB, SOB!!! SIR, MAIN 1998 SE C.I.D. MAIN HU, YE LADKA KAL HI AYA AUR MUJHE NAM LEKE BULATA HAI & MUJHE USKO SIR BULANA PADTA HAI.
A.C.P: FREDRICS, CHUP RAHO. AUR DAYA DARWAJA TOD DO!!!!
( DAYA BREAKS THE DOOR.)
A.C.P. : ARE, YE KYA? GHAR ME EK BHI LASH NAHI?
ABHIJEET: SIR , AAJ TO SABKUCH ULTA HI HO RAHA HAI. KYA KARE?
TASHA: SIR , WO DEKHIYE, WO LIFTMAN BHAG RAHA HAI.
DAYA: E RUK!!!!!!!!!!
( STILL HE RUNS)
DAYA: SIR, MAINE RUK BOLA , AUR USNE HAMESHA KI TARAH SPEED SLOW NAHI KIYA.
ABHIJEET: MAINE KAHA NA DAYA, AAJ SAB ULTA HO RAHA HAIN!
A.C.P. : ABHIJEET CHUP RAHO . AUR JAO SAB USKO PAKDO.
VIVEK: SORRY SIR, LEKIN AAP KYA KAROGE??
A.C.P: YE BHI NAHI PATA? LAST ME DIALOG TO MUJHE HI MARNA HAI !!! AB JAO!!!!
( AFTER SOME REALLY HARD WORK, C.I.D. FINALLY CATCHES LIFTMAN)
DAYA: BAHUT BHAG LIYE!!!!!! AA???????????????
( AND GAVE HIM HIS SPECIAL PUNCH!!!!)
( CUT 2 C.I.D. BUERO)
A.C.P( IN HIS SPECIAL LOUD VOICE): AB BATAO, KYUN KIYA TUMNE YE SAB???
LIFTMAN: SIR, MAIN ROJ C.I.D. DEKHTA HU. LEKIN DHIRE DHIRE MUJHE PATA LAGNE LAGA KI , AAP LOG BRAIN USE HI NAHI KARTE!!!!!!!!! HAR JAGAH C.I.D. , AUR AAPKA NUMBER HAR AADMI KO MILTA HAIN. POLICE HAI HI NAHI. AB AAJ KA HI DEKHIYE, LIFT BAND PAD GAYI AUR AAPKO BULAYA. AAPNE ITNI SI CHOTI SI CHEEZ KO, AATANKVADI KI CHALL BANA DIYA.ISLIYE YE MAIN DIKHANA CHAHTA THA KI KUCH CHEEZE SIMPLE BHI HOTI HAI.AUR AAP JO BHI KUCH HO, FORENSIC LAB MAIN BHEJ DETE HO, EK CHAIR AUR LIFT BHI! AAPKA OFFICER TARIKA PE LINE MARTA HAI, WO BHI ON DUTY! KUA YE SUCH ME POSSIBLE HAIN? ISLIYE MAINE LIFT BAND KARVAYI , TARIKA AUR ABHIJEET MAIN JHAGADA LAGAYA. MAIN YE BADALNA CHAHTA THA.
A.C.P. : SHRAM NAHI AATI TUMHE?? C.I.D. KO BADALNA CHAHTE THE!! WA!! AB JAIL ME ROJ APNE AAPKO BADLTE RAHNA!!!!!! PHANSI KA ORDER AANE TAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Disclaimer : This is funny spoof on CID's OTT episodes in that era . They had just started to show OTT things & on that background I had written the story . This story is funny spoof on CID's making of episodes. And all the dialogues written here are to target OTT thing of writers & some directors . I have / had absolutely no intention to disrespect any Actor/ Character played by them . If anybody's sentiments towards anybody are hurt , then am sorry . It was absolutely unintentional.)
A.C.P( IN HIS SPECIAL LOUD VOICE): AB BATAO, KYUN KIYA TUMNE YE SAB???
LIFTMAN: SIR, MAIN ROJ C.I.D. DEKHTA HU. LEKIN DHIRE DHIRE MUJHE PATA LAGNE LAGA KI , AAP LOG BRAIN USE HI NAHI KARTE!!!!!!!!! HAR JAGAH C.I.D. , AUR AAPKA NUMBER HAR AADMI KO MILTA HAIN. POLICE HAI HI NAHI. AB AAJ KA HI DEKHIYE, LIFT BAND PAD GAYI AUR AAPKO BULAYA. AAPNE ITNI SI CHOTI SI CHEEZ KO, AATANKVADI KI CHALL BANA DIYA.ISLIYE YE MAIN DIKHANA CHAHTA THA KI KUCH CHEEZE SIMPLE BHI HOTI HAI.AUR AAP JO BHI KUCH HO, FORENSIC LAB MAIN BHEJ DETE HO, EK CHAIR AUR LIFT BHI! AAPKA OFFICER TARIKA PE LINE MARTA HAI, WO BHI ON DUTY! KUA YE SUCH ME POSSIBLE HAIN? ISLIYE MAINE LIFT BAND KARVAYI , TARIKA AUR ABHIJEET MAIN JHAGADA LAGAYA. MAIN YE BADALNA CHAHTA THA.
A.C.P. : SHRAM NAHI AATI TUMHE?? C.I.D. KO BADALNA CHAHTE THE!! WA!! AB JAIL ME ROJ APNE AAPKO BADLTE RAHNA!!!!!! PHANSI KA ORDER AANE TAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Disclaimer : This is funny spoof on CID's OTT episodes in that era . They had just started to show OTT things & on that background I had written the story . This story is funny spoof on CID's making of episodes. And all the dialogues written here are to target OTT thing of writers & some directors . I have / had absolutely no intention to disrespect any Actor/ Character played by them . If anybody's sentiments towards anybody are hurt , then am sorry . It was absolutely unintentional.)
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
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