||.. 11th STORY CONTEST ..|| Resume back, Last Week for Votes

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Rifah

@HIDEnSEEK06

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#31

Originally posted by: gadhadada

Deadline Extended...👍🏼

Thanks😃

It's better😃

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gadhadada

@gadhadada

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#32

Originally posted by: AS-Rifi

GD make it must. That will be better.

OK CUB...😳👏

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Evil Dramebaaz

@Minionite

Channel Moderator

+ 43

Team Silver Trio

Posted: 9 years ago

#33

10 stories. Nice. I think that's the best participation since a long time. 👏

I'll read and review slowly. Got lots of time. 😉 And don't worry. Even though I'll probably go in order, everyone will get a good length review. 😆

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Kulasya.

@Kulasya.

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#34

All entries looking good. Excited to read all stories. 😊 I wanted to take part but couldn't take 😔 About plot I liked & my little guess about the owner the plot was Vis Di & it got right 😆 I have a guess about entry no. 1 also . I think that story is written by Shreya 😛

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bluetides

@bluetides

Stunner

Posted: 9 years ago

#35

great plot . My guess about plot owner is so right...

Thanks Vis for an inspiring plot 👏 👏 👏

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bluetides

@bluetides

Stunner

Posted: 9 years ago

#36

Review of stories:

Story 1:

Khoon ka idea was really good. Learnt a new drug fact. The way you write story has a lot to convey on how to write story 😳. I really drew a lot of value from it as I was really blank on how to put conversations in to story 😊. So curiosity killed Abhijeet ahaan 😉. Really loved the opening scene with CID team peeping on to dead's face 😆, really if they make an episode great scene to star with ... Right with investigation. The way you ordered the events is so chronological, don't have to go back and forth 😃. That DCP and Abhi scene was so cute ... every minute updates ko to the dot follow karte hi 😉

I couldn't find how she can choose a person per day, do enough research and kill in a day.. hmm Did I miss a point?

Also CID should have done a complete background verification of staff, so she must be the one with no past record right?

Where is Dr Tarika 😲? not that I miss her, but I thought as per rules 2 current forensic team should be there.

My guess: Shrey 😳 I am pretty confident that I am right.

Story #2:

Interesting story. I didn't try translating but wanna believe that the french was right. I skipped reading through french note though 😆. The drug mentioned was real? 😲 Some drug facts would have been great. I liked the smooth flow of events, the straight forward script.

Ahaan Dr Niyati ahm ahm 😆. Really liked the teasing. One flaw is with timeline where 4 days later of Tuesday appeared as Wednesday 😆, chalo jo hate hi aise chote chote. I liked the way Vivek was bought in and CID foot work to Goa. Really you must be knowing many languages well ( or used google translator 😉)

The lady remembering about Ganesh Idol was kinda strange 😕.

Overall a good one ⭐️

My guess: 😕

Story 3:

Nice way of organizing things and flow. I really loved the arrangement to short units with one place at a time 👏 👏 👏 I didn't like the flash back section though. I felt things were bit hurried up there after the disguise scene. Loved the plot of organ trafficking and serial murders. Freddy and Manisha parts were too good. ACP sir scolding was amazing too. I loved the bonding you portrayed in over all story. It was there everywhere ⭐️. The disguise part was amazing. jilebi and samosa 😆 😆 😆. Liked the FB clue too though I don't know about tagging, I could somehow follow the context . irritation about the selfies and also depressing posts on FB were nicely and convincingly displayed. Awe clue find kiya aur kinna excited hi Freddy sir 😆 thats too natural for him. Dr Tarika upset part was not so convincing. Being forensic expert she should have handled more than that in her career. Par koi nahi .. that's fine.

My guess: 😕 soch ke bataoongi 😉

Story 4:
Ok, I see why story is long. It's very detailed and like a screen play with apt breaks. This increased length definitely but gave a feel of complete story (or should I say a movie). The overall Alice idea was awesome. I least expected that 😆.

murders happening and someone creating FB account was an awesome thing, I thought it was Abhijeet who is creating the accounts though 😛 but Manisha was totally surprise that doesn't reveal till some time. That was a nice little suspense 👏 👏 👏. BTW thanks for Bewakoof Bunny id 🤣

Animals left during murder and pattern of them with increased noise was wonderful again, although I suspect if news papers publish the sketch details. But it did enhance story as it's easy for CID cops to connect dots 😳. Showing them discuss things on paper was good 👏 but I didn't quite get ACP sir remembering about some movie though ❓

At one point I was so curious on who dies next 😆 and the alice in wonderland part was really good. the way the death pattern, cause, letters, age connect to the book was amazing. ⭐️The FB clue was awesome the maze part was very good, but not sure why the change in pic caught Freddy's eye. 😕

plan laid for next one was so good also finding about the place relating to book and the 12 factor 😳 Too many similarities and working them out. I was wondering how author can support the picking of victims those satisfy all requirements 😲. Pretty decent job was done to finally relate victims be satisfied by all conditions. I personally felt relaxing 12 th house condition would have helped and also the address making up to 1. They were kinda tough to digest when victims were random and time was limited.

Muskaan eating the candy was not acceptable as candy was from stranger and whole Alice book was regarding the rabbit. At one point Abhi/Daya makes a comment that culprit is considering himself/herself as rabbit. But at least you showed it as mistake not as YSPT 👍🏼. The syndrome and culprit's confession are new and good to learn many new facts.

My guess: hoga koi mao ka deewana 😆

Story 5:
The start was so good with a soothing scene and murder. The murder and patterns were easily linkable and finding similarities among victims was indeed big task with such long years of service. Really loved how murders unfold. DCP as usual was irritating but you assured he would be fired back, waiting for that. 😆

Asha, though I love her, I don't think DCP would choose her. He usually chooses chamche not efficient one. Khair, it was nice to see her back and reconciling with team 😃. Investigation was going on peak and Abhi is checking face book 😲, That was kind of weird especially in bureau. The face book clue was good 😊

Viren's inclusion was awesome 👏.here here DCP got fired back 😆 I loved ACP sir tease ki they don't hv enough time 😛 😛 😛. Loved the old case and search to find the culprit. The action scene at end was great. Good efforts.
My guess: hmm Shrey? 😕

Edited by bluetides - 9 years ago

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Rifah

@HIDEnSEEK06

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#37

Story 1: Duo's coughing coz of Niyati, Niyati's jokes, Acp's glare reminds me of the earlier days! 😒 Btw, this part is awesome!😆 Loved all the parts of Dr. Niyati ❤️ In the 2nd Lab scene, there is a mistake!😛 Dr. Salunkhe tapak pare hai jo ki tha hi nahi lab mein😉 😆

Abhijeet opened FB id! Delete mat karwayo😛 I will send req to him😆

Now coming to the death & investigation part...it was gripping. I was reading it & went for lunch when that "E" matter came. I was excited to know what will happen. It was suspensive! Story took a new turn after the FB post that Abhijeet read. Liked that. ⭐️

And at the end! It was really meaningless to kill the innocent people.😡 Niyati hadn't a good relation with Vikas. But yet she killed Altaf & the people who looked like Altaf. And then, Chullu bhar pani mein hi doob mara!!😕 Bad dimag aurat!🤢

Overall very very nice one! ⭐️ 👏

Story 2: Dr. Niyati hi nahi hum bhi interested hai Abhijeet mein😉 Abhijeet toh always hi Niyati k liye genius hai...aur humare liye bhi😳😆

No time for using google translator to translate the French. So, considering it to be correct!

U have brought Vivek Abhi-Freddy-Vivek convo of ladki-bhabi ji was soothing! Miss these now...:(

Chemical & drugs combination, reaction is good & interesting. Again no time for googling😆 So,considering it to be correct!

The social networking part was ok. But it could be more interesting.

Nice story.👏

Story 3: Serial killing & trafficking...hmm that was good. Social media's posts were good😆 CID per kuch kuch hota hai ka song 😆

Freddy-Manisha part was good. But i find it little dragged. It could be minimised. I hate clicking selfies all the time & tagging others! The irritation was nicely portrayed. 👏

Liked Abhijeet-Muskaan disguise. Enjoyed that. At the end things were rushed. But still good & nice!👏

Story 4: CID ko case handover karne mein bari der ki😆 FB id names & emojis r funny. Bewakoof bunny 🤣

Manisha was opening the Fb id. That was surprise!

I liked Muskaan's entry & Duo's hoshiyar hai part.⭐️

Serial of children😭 The case was nice & mysterious.

Social media part is good.

Overall a big, detailed & nice story⭐️👏

Guess: GD😉

Story 5: just loved the story a lot❤️ well not for DCP ki band bajawing only😆 But also for the reunion & the case. ⭐️

The case & investigation part was very good. Then the connections were described nicely & so it was easy to understand.

But Viren didn't work with Abhijeet na? But their first meeting was seeming like they had worked together before. Otherwise everything was very good.

Liked the social media part. That was good. But u could have added more posts.

Dcp ka band bajake bohot acha kaam kiya👏👏 😆 Waise begunah ko apne 2 hafte mein case solve karne ka bhoot ka wajah se saza sirf DCP hi de sakte hai🥱😛

The farewell part was nice. That Dcp choot jayega 🤣 good 😆

Very very nice! Enjoyed the whole story!⭐️⭐️

Guess: i'm sure it's Shreya di😉

Story 6: loved the prologue part. ❤️ sach much dil dehla dene wala case :(

The story has Cid ff site's style😉 Abhi-Tarika-Freddy convo was nice.😳

The social media part was good.⭐️

Nice story!👏

Guess: Mistic_Morning

Story 7: amazing story! The starting with Rajat was nice.⭐️ Liked Asha's entry too. Sometimes cop's relatives also can become victim of serial killer. The death cause, case, investigation, social media & the confession was very good. Liked the Suraj's part. Vimal is such a psycho path!🤢

Very good story👏

Guess : mausi jee😛

Story 8: nice story⭐️ Bitter almond se CN!😲 New info i gained. The main investigation was dependent on twitter. Liked it.

I can imagine Duo's shocking expression when they came to that Acp sir is on twitter too😆

Very good one👏

Guess: GD

Story 9: the siggy is quite good.⭐️ as a case it's good enough. But the serial killing isn't seeming like serial killing actually. The case is about the virus more. Social media part was not clear.

Abhijeet kuch jaida hi angry tha😆 Itna bhi angry mat dikhayo ki wo gusse mein hi khud apne haat mein chot pohcha de😆

Rakka k sath bohot bura huya...shayed wo criminal banta hi nahi agr Dr. Mehra aisa dhoka na deta! I m more angry on Dr. Mehra.

Investigation & case is very good. 👏

Btw, it's "Har kar jeetney walo" not "jeet kar harney walo"😆

Nice one!👏

Story 10: nice try. Case was good & so investigation. Dcp ka toh kaam hai tang arana😆 Social media part was good.

It's not Viwek & Dr. Niyati...but Vivek and Dr. Niyati😳

U have added ur personal comments in some places. It would be better if u had avoided them.

Otherwise, good 👏

Edited by AS-Rifi - 9 years ago

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Not Available

@ANGELICEYES

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#38

10 entries, great! 😃 Will surely send marks after reading..

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gadhadada

@gadhadada

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#39

OK, following the Steps of My ACHI MAO...

I'll come here with My First Review ...😃😃

STORY # 1: MEANINGLESS

The Title after Reading the whole Story looking Apt...👏👏

Good Start of Story with a Murder...👏👏

Dr, Niyyati brought from Previous Cops but Honestly Her Arrival was Not with a Solid Reason or Background...

The Murder Idea/way was Absolutely Fantastic...⭐️⭐️

Loved the Drug using for that with its All Information Useful for Readers...⭐️⭐️

The Pattern of Murder another Brilliant Idea...⭐️⭐️

I Loved how CID Failed to Stop the 4th Murder...😉⭐️⭐️

Awesome caught of Cops about getting the Serial Killing from Every aspect...⭐️⭐️

Excellent Approach to add Dharma Productions too...👏👏

But, Writer Could U think that its Easier that CID Sawdhan All Employees from Higher to Lower Staff of any Production House in such Small Time...😒

Now, the Checking of Labs was another Nice Idea...👏👏

ACP Sir Scold got by Other Cop or Clue get out by Another Cop, ye Achi Baat Nahi hay...😆😆

The Most Shocking Part is Entry of DIVYANI...😲😲

OML! it taking 10 minutes to Me that who is Devyani as Previous Cop...😕😕

BTW, Writers its Devyana, not Devyani...😆😆

But Honestly, its an Awesome and Classy Entry even with whole Background...⭐️⭐️

I Assume that U really gives Her the Best Field after getting Her Persona...😆👏

Her Information are also Handful for Cops...👏👏

Now, the Clue got by the Cop and Loved to arranged Expert Tech on Immediate bases...👏👏

Somehow Chitroley Entry was Not Appealing ...🥱🥱

Abhijeet Sir Tease was Awesome but Yes, His Entry looking Forced...😆😵

its again little Weird that ACP Sir got the Flash such easily after Scanning the Photos either Niyyati or Salunkhy Sir did not get it after whole Scanning...👎🏼😒

BTW, How and from What Culprit made that was Not Revealed that what kind of thing used by Culprit even made it before Murder or After as the Area was too much Crowdy and its Confusing if Culprit make it Easily before or After Murder...❓❓

the Number was Another Classy Attempt...⭐️⭐️

its really Boost Up the Story again to High Rise...😉😉

Cant get that how, Cops got the CASE NUMBER coz 96-615 showed only Year, Month and Date and in One Date in an whole Mahrashtara, how many FIR Lodged, nobody knew about that...😕😕

Somehow that Part of Story Lack Interest...🥱🥱

the Confusion of Culprit and Reason was little Bored Me...

Culprit Death Idea was Good but Yes the Revenge was totally Meaningless...🤔

The Shocking thing was the Culprit, Totally Unpredictable...👏👏

Somehow Story was Dragged so Loose Interest in Middle Part...🥱🥱

Writer Forgot the Rule that Only FIVE Cops used by the Writer which is TRIO or 2 More Cops but here Writer Used almost Every Cop...😉😉

marks Cut...😈

Social Media Part was Less but liked the whole Media News part as its Awesome...👏👏

Lovely Effort of Writer...👏👏

A Wonderful Compact Story...⭐️👏👏

Thank You so much Writer...😳😳

The Review and Opinion is Reader Personal Thinking, does not mean to Hurt the Writer, Fans and Frnds of Writer, Efforts of Writer, Apology in Advance... 😳😊

GUESSING is really Meaningless from My Site...😉😆😆

Edited by gadhadada - 9 years ago

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gadhadada

@gadhadada

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#40

My Another Review for Story, again following Steps of My Achi Mao...

Story # 3: THE WILD GOOSE CHASE

The Story Title is Apt as per Story...👏👏

The Start was Casual but Little Lengthy 🥱, but Lovely way to send Map after Tracking the Location by Abhijeet Sir...👏

First Murder Portray was Absolute Fantastic with All Measurements...👏👏

the Bureau Scene was OK but Comments are Little Filmy but Like ACP Sir Small Scold to Freddie Sir, its really gives a Small Sweet Gesture of their Bond...😆😆

Salunkhy Sir Report was Shocking...😲😲

then 6 Murders in a Week was really Sad...👏

The Tags and Tweets were Lovely and Nice, Like that Small Poem, termed as Bakwass by Bhai...😆👏

The Information about Culprit would be a Surgeon seeing the Corpse is Good...👏👏

The Counter Check to All Hospitals Criteria was Awesome...👏👏

Loved ACP Sir Approach as per His Experience...👏👏

The Spotting of Truck through CCTV Footages was really another Good Point...👏👏

Somehow, that NH-8 is really Irritate Me cz I dunt know, whats this...

now the Best Part started of the Story...😉😉

Cops seeing their Accounts and ACP Sir Monitoring them...😳👏

the Oldie Duo Conversation in Call is Brilliant...⭐️⭐️

Now that Classy Part of Staying Away Cops from that Slamming session of Social Media was the USP of that Story...⭐️⭐️

it was Brilliant as well Absolute Fantastic Portrayal...⭐️⭐️

Showed a Lovely Bonding as well Maintain the Environment More Precise...👏👏

I Loved that Session alot with a Small Punishment who Broke that Promise too...😉👏

Rajat Inclusion was little Confusing as it not with background...😵

Same as with Muskan, why Narcotics Dept Involved, What They already found were Totally Missing in the Story...👎🏼😒

The Story turned Lengthy and Dragged at Quite few Points...🥱🥱

Now, another Part which gives a Wonderful Effect over Readers...😃😃

The Clue getting from Face Book...👏👏

OML! Totally Mesmerizing Impact of those Dialogues of Freddie Sir...⭐️⭐️

Loved and Enjoyed Each and Every Detail of that Tagging...⭐️⭐️

Awesome Work there...⭐️👏

the Clue Idea was also Lovely and Good...👏👏

then ACP Sir Manao session was also Sweet and Cute Point...😆👏

the Disguise and Flashback, All Looking Complete Dragged and Out of Focus as per Story...😵😒

Like that Plan of Capturing Main Culprit through Purvi and Muskan and with Armed Force...👏

Somehow, That Truck part was Totally Unacceptable to Understand as how a Big Truck could be Vanish from Every Spot and except One time, not coming in Any Eye...😕😕

The Revelation is Quite Good and Nicely handled...👏

DCP Entry and Exit was Looking Forced...🥱🥱

Writer again using All the Cops, Ignoring the Rules of using FIVE Current Cops so Marks CUT...😈

A really Wonderful Attempt by the Writer...⭐️👏

Thank You so very much...😳😳

The Review and Opinion is Reader Personal Thinking, does not mean to Hurt the Writer, Fans and Frnds of Writer, Efforts of Writer, Apology in Advance... 😳😊

GUESSING is really Meaningless from My Site...😉😆😆

Edited by gadhadada - 9 years ago