the amazing race investigative story

1.KRITTIKA thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#1
THE HIDDEN TENURE

18th August early morning

There is really hustle bustle today in the old bungalow near outskirts of Sindola, Mahabaleshwar...the Chopra house...

Old caretaker Lakhan is looking both happy and tensed while passing out orders to the cleaners and electricians...

One of the helping hands asked "kaka aj to memsahib arahi hey na? bara saal bad?"

"haan..jab gayi thi..choti memsaab to jana hi nahi cahti thi...keh rahi thi fir har chuuti mey hum yeaha nahi apayenge.."

"haa tab to har chuuti mey bhabi sahib dono bacho ko leke yeaha ajate they..per sahib nahi aye.."

"sahib ki bare sahib ki saath banti kaha thi..chote sahib ko jab bare sahib ne jaidad se bedakhal kiya tab se sahib aur bare sahib bhi to..."

he sighed "Acha choro kaam kro tum log..mem sahib ati hi hongi..mein rasui ka dekh ata hu.."

he hurried inside

near about two hours later a white car came to halt in front of the bungalow..and two people come out..

Shreya Chopra 29years old and Sree Chopra 24 years old...now both are NRI,coming back after 12 long years of stay in Canada..

as they came down Lakhan moved forward "memsahib aap dono agaye..Raghu..saman nikal jara..aap dono ayiye.."

Shreya cut him with "Lakhan kaka aap to hume mem bitiya bulate they na..to yea mem sahib kaun agaya?"

"nai wo aap dono aab itni bari.."

"to?aapse bare hey kya?"

Lakhan smiled "ayiye mem bitiya ayiye mem chutki.."

and he led them in while the driver Raghu got busy with luggage

moving inside Sree looked around "di yea sab aj bhi aisa hi hey..di kyun na hum ise beech na..itne antiques itni sare sunder furniture..aur to aur yea bricks bhi aj ki jamane jaisa nahi..di we can keep it na.."

"Sree..come on hum iss bareme baat kr chuke hey..we r never coming back to India..fir kya krenge iska?aise pare pare to sb bekar..think practically"

Lakhan who was still now quite cleared his throat "aap log iss gher ko bechne ki soch.."

"haan kaka...actually hum aab kabhie India nahi ayenge to yea gher aur humara Delhi wale gher mtlb papa ki gher dono ko bech denge hum.."

"per bitiya yea gher..ismey...wo..."

"kaka kya baat hey aap hesitate kyun kr rahe hey?"

"bitiya kehte hey iss gher mey khajana hey...aur aapki pardada uss khajane ka rakshak..wo kisi bahar wale ki haath yea gher nahi ane denge.."

"kya kaka yea sb to bas rumor hey..aisa kuch nahi hey.."

Sree interrupted "di ager sach mey khajana hua to?" Shreya gave her a look, she tried "nahi yea pardada part practical nahi hey I agree but humne suna tha na humare pardadi kisi European ki family se belong krti thi unke father koi English general type kuch they?wo to our great-great grandfather ne unhe pura Indian bana diya..now wo lauti aur akhri generation thi to sayed.."

Shreya shook her head "Sree kya lagta hey tumhe barso se yea ek khajane ki baat hey..sb jante bhi hey aurr kisine dhunda nahi?dhunda hoga na kyun kaka?"

Lakhan sighed "nahi bitiya aapki pardada ne keh gaye they jo bhi uss khajana ko dhundega use kisi Makgag...kya naam tha unki pass jana hoga..aur wo to kab ke mar chuke mtlb.."

he made a scared face then changed the topic as "chaliye aap dono ko aapke kmre dikha du..thaq gayi hongi.."

and he led him to the bedroom..

Lakhan was about to leave when Shreya called "kaka aapki pass yeaha ki ki koi local real estate agents ki contact honge?jiske through hum gher ka sauda kr paye?"

"nahi aisa to kuch he nahi...sayed yeaha ki wakil babu ko pata hoga.."

"acha thik hey.."

Lakhan moved out to make arrangement for dinner..

Sree turned to Shreya with "di hume ek bar khajane ki bareme seriously nahi sochna cahiye kya?"

"Please Sree now u grow up...jao fresh ho jao aj jldi sona y kal bahut kaam hey mujhe.."

and she moved inside the washroom..Sree sighed deeply.. "humare great-great grandfather bhi ajeeb hey..kehrahe hey ki khajana hey per koi dhunde to use mare hue kisi admi ki pass vej denge..arey to kehke hi nahi jate khajane ki baat.."

19th MORNING:

Sree got up to find Shreya already ready..

"di aap nikal rahi ho?"

"haan pehle uss lawyer se milungi,local agents ka pata lungi..fir agents se bhi milungi..soch rahi hu sab thik se ho jaye to isi lawyer se sare kagjat bannungi.."

"haa yea to acha ho gaya bekar ki jhanjat kam ho gayi.."

"hmm..pata hey subha meine humare iss gher ki ander aur bahar se kayi pictures liye..taki agent ko dikha au..dekhegi.."

"dikhao.."

Shreya settle on bed and attached the chip with laptop started showing pictures... looking at the pictures Sree suddenly exclaimed "wow di yea sword dekho...size dekho...it's so giant..."

Shreya noticed the picture..

its picture of a wall in main hall with a single sword and a crown used in battle attached on wall..the sword is in its cover really of mighty size..it must be heavy

"I wonder purane jamane mey log itne bhari sword leke larte kaise they?upar se aise crowns pehenke.."

but she stopped as her phone rang..

she moved out to attend the call and Sree moved to freshen up..

After about half an hour the meet at breakfast where Sree asked "kiska call tha?"

"meri frnd.."

"umm idher? Purvi di right?"

"arey 10+2 taq hum ek saath pare, fir to mein chali gayi Canada per face book Skype..email ki through contact reh gaya dosti bhi..aab itne saal bad hum milenge..I'm so excited.."

"wow Purvi di idher arahi hey?"

"Haa...actually she is now a CID officer to chutti nahi milta but she promised ki she will manage two days and come over...meine to uski team ko bhi invite kiya..wo log pure saal itna kaam krte hey they deserve a nice holiday..thik kiya na?"

"bilkul..aacha di mera to ho gaya..mein thora local market wagera ghum ati hu..bye..c u at lunch"

Shreya too got up and both moved out..

AT AFTERNOON

Sree was pacing up and down in room when Shreya came in..Sree gave her a questioning look..

"agent se baat hui..but he also believes in that khajana and all...same story...jo koi khajana pana cahega use Macgregor ki grave mey jana hoga..."

"yea Macgregor kaun hey?"

"no idea..khair he told about a party jo yeaha resort banana cahte hey,so he will contact them..if possible kal wo log gher dekhne ayenge.."

"resort? Mtlb pure bungalow ki modification hoga so they will need the blueprint..electrical circuit plan etc.."

"haan mere paas soft copy hey..purane plan etc ki paper ka to bura haal tha..Canada mey hi ane se pehle ek architect se uss plan ka better copy bana liya tha..dekhte hey ager unn logo ko pasand ajae to kal jake kahi se print nikal lenge.."

"haa market ki woha ek dukan hey inn sb kaamo ke liye.."

"Arey haa tum to market gayi thi..How was your day?"

"di yeaha sbko iss treasure ka pata hey..Ek aunty se mili mujhe..wo yeahi smne rehti hey..unka kehna hey sale mat karo warna kuch bura hoskta hai apky pardada ki rooh aj bhi is ghar mai khazany ki rakhsha karti hai"

"absurd.."

"waise di.."

"hmm?"

"tumhare ane se kuch pehle ek admi aya tha..keh raha tha gher ki bareme baat krni hey..meine shaam ko ane ko kaha.."

Shreya just nodded and lied down..

AT EVENING

Lakhan comes and inform about a visitor..both the sisters moved out and found a aged man sitting there on the couch and someone like his manager is standing nearby

Sree suddenly felt she had seen this man earlier..this face is very common to her..but who..where...

Shreya started as "yes.."

"hello young lady mera naam Jonathan hey..mein kayi tea estate ka malik hu aab yeaha ek dost ki farm house mey chutti bitane aya hu..meine suna aap gher bechengi?"

"haan sahi suna apne.."

"mein yea gher kharidna cahta hu"

Shreya smiled "fine to aap humare agent se baat kr lijiye unka number.."

"no my young lady koi agent wagera nahi...mein paise laya hu..(he signaled to his briefcase beside) 80crores cash...ager aur jyada cahiye fine mein mangwa deta hu..mujhe aj hi gher cahiye..mere lawyer half an hour mey paper leke pahuch rahe honge"

Shreya's expressions changed..jaw tightened..noticing it Jonathan with a smile continued "aap dono ek mahine taq iss gher mey reh skte hey..smjh skta hu itni dur se aye hey aab asehi do din mey.."

Shreya cut him "mujhe yea gher aapko nahi bechna"

"isn't 80 crores enough?ok fir aap.."

"mujhe gher aapko nahi bechna..cahe 80 crores mey ho cahe 80 billion mey ho..and now you can leave.."

Jonathan gave a fiery glance and stood up "mujhe na suune ki adat nahi miss Chopra..mein to yea gher hasil kr ki hi rahunga"

and he left followed by his manager

aftr he left Sree turned to Shreya "di aapko nahi lgta humne inhe kayi dekha hey?"

Shreya was still grumbling said "nahi aur mein agey dekhna bhi nahi cahti.." and moved in..

Sree moved inside and searched for Lakhan then asked "kaka apne dekha tha jo admi aya tha?"

"nahi bitiya unki koi admi ne mujhe kaha aap dono ko bula du..wo to tab bhi gaari mey they..."

"acha aap kisi Jonathan ki naam suna hey?"

"Jonathan...nahi..aisa to kisika naam yaad nahi.."

"thik hey kaka koi baat nahi.."

She too moved inside..the doubt remains.. but the rest of the day passes peacefully but at about midnight Sree hears some strange noises just outside their room..although modern the first thing came to her mind is the word of neighborhood aunty

She took a deep breath and pushed Shreya

"di utho mujhe kisi ki awazin ari hain di..utho na"

Shreya (sleepily) "kin hoa kis ki aawazin ari hain mujhe to kuch nai arihi"

"nahi di koi awaj tha.."

"nai Sree tmny khuwab dekha hoga chalo so jao"

Sree lied down but unable to sleep tried to hear more..but no..there is no sound now..soon she too moves in deep sleep

20th MORNING:

Shree got up early next morning may be due to disturb sleep and moved to the window...opening it wide she enjoyed the fresh air of morning..

Then moved towards the room and opened it..

Automatically a scream came up from her mouth..

Shreya who was already half awake got up with "kya hua Sree?"

"di di yea.."

Shreya got down of bed and moved to the door..

an A4 size paper is pasted on the door with a celotape

Shreya pulled it down..

it has some word cutting sticked on it.. the words are in Hindi and then in English.. may be cut from some book or newspaper..

' ISS GHER KO BECHNE KI KOSHISH MAT KRNA...AISE MURKHYTA KAROGE TO JAAN SE JAOGE JISKI HAQ KI KHAJANA HEY USE DE DO FIR KRNA MANMANI'

'BEWARE FROM SELLING THE HOUSE AT THE COST OF YOUR LIFE'

Sree looked at Shreya "di yea meine kaha tha na kal koi awaj suni thi meine.."

"hmm..kaun..hmm..wohi hoga..Jonathan"

Shreya folded the paper and moved inside placed the paper in drawer "ise bhul jao Sree..aisa koi letter hume mila hi nahi"

"di try to understand.."

"nahi Sree Shreya Chopra is not a coward..fresh ho jao..aj party arahe hey gher dekhne"

and she moved out calling "kaka...kal raat aap gher mey hi they?"

Sree sighed while hearing Lakhan's answer as "nahi bitiya hum to raat mey yeaha nahi rehte..pass mey humara quarter hey wohi rehte hey..kiu kya hua.."

"kuch nahi kaka acha aj na ek party gher deekhne arahi hey.."

Sree didn't heard more as she moved in the washroom.. the dhamki..Jonathan..treasure all running in her mind

when Sree came out after freshening up Shreya was looking genuinely happy "hey Sree Purvi ne confirm kiya wo kal shaam taq ajayegi..kal uski half day hey uski bad niklegi..I'm so happy.."

Sree had her mind preoccupied so she just smiled..

Shreya moved to freshen up "kaka ko kehna wagal wala bedroom saaf kr dey..aur kal dinner ki bad ice-cream to banta hey.."

Sree sat down.. "mamma kehti thi jo baat confuse kre and u want to solve it aap use ek bar khud likh ke paro..thinking clear hogi.. yea I should try it"

she pulled out a notepad from her bag and started writing

A treasure hidden in this bungalow.. our great-great grandfather Mr. Nikhilranjan Chopra is supposed to protect it even after his death [lol]

He had said about the treasure but also mentioned anybody trying to get it must go to Macgregor's grave. Who is this Macgregor..what's significance of him in this story?

Some Mr. Jonathan wants to buy the house..he is owner of some tea estate now visiting here some frnd.. he not only wants to buy but is too determined to get it..maybe even by crook

But my prob is why I feel I have seen him? When di hvnt.. 12yrs earlier? But even if I have seen him once or twice y I felt his face so known?

Now this threatening letter.. death if we sale the house.. means Jonathan is not in this..

Wait! It was written jiski haq ki khajana hey use de do fir krna manmani.. haq? Great-great grandfather ki do aulad they..dada jee and bua dadi. dada jee ki do bete. And bua dadi ki beti jinki maut shaadi se pehle ho chuki thi. Now papa ne kaha uncle ne sanyas something le liya tha.. to this house belong to dad and then us. Then haq?

Treasure can be true.. di nahi manti but may be.. our great grandmother was the last descendent of some Anglo family.. and her family was somehow connected with our freedom struggle. Don't know the story but I'm feeling ki kuch..

She stopped as Shreya came out "Sree u r still here? Kaka se kehne ko kaha na meine kuch..uff you.."

Sree hurriedly kept the notepad below the old statue on side table and got up "abhie bol deti hu...ho jayega kal taq relax"

And she moved out..

Shreya too moved out..

At about noon the party and agent came and have a look at the house..the party readily agreed to buy it... but as expected they wished to have blueprint and circuit map

Shreya promised to submit it to agent next morning..

So at evening Shreya was ready to go out to market

"Sree chalegi?"

"nahi di tum ho ayo..I'm planning to try my luck in making some Indian dish for tonight"

"oh my lord..fir to mein dinner kharid ke hi laungi"

"di..."

"acha acha..bana lena..per aab chal na ake banana"

"kiu kho jaoge?"

Shreya made a proud face with "you know me"

And moved out proudly

Sree smiled and moved to kitchen.. with her tab.. the supplier of the recipe

Search g for ingredients she found dry fenugreek leaves missing in kitchen and as per her source it's a must ingredient.. so she ordered Lakhan to buy it who too moved out

Three hours passed neither Lakhan nor Shreya is back still.

Now Sree started feeling tension.

She tried Shreya's phone which is now unreachable.. all alone in the house her mind moved to the letter..

"kahi wo letter.."

She shook her head "mujhe market jake dekhna cahiye..di ko na sahi Lakhan kaka ko to sb jnte hey woha..per ager di agayi to?mere phone mey to Indian simcard nahi..mein to landline se kaam chala rahi hu..per di tab kya kregi.."

She thought for a moment then moved out and directly went to the house few yards away

She rang the bell and a woman came out, it was the same aunty she meets before

"beta aap? Bahut pareshan lag rahe ho.."

"aunty wo di..meri behen wo sham ko market ke liye nikli..4 ghnte hone ko hey aab taq nahi ayi.. Lakhan kaka bhi unki kuch der bad nikle wo bhi nahi aye..mein market jarahi hu unhe dekhne per iss bich ager di ajaye to wo tension krengi"

"aapki pass mobile.."

"wo mere mobile mey Indian simcard nahi lagaya..di ki phone mey hi serf to mein to gher se landline se call kr rahi thi but it was unreachable. Per di mujhe kaise.."

The woman thought for a moment "mere gher mey jo larka kaam krta hey, Saket wo aapki gher pey ruk aye jab taq aap na ayo? Apki behen ajaye to wo bata dega.."

"wow aunty it would be great..please.."

"per beta aap 10 baje se pehle ajana..asal mey aapko gher mey raat ko..fir use gher bhi to jana hey na?"

Sree thought for a moment then agreed "jee aunty..aap unhe vej dijiye.."

She led the lad in, locked the room where their luggage was and moved out leaving him in hall

Reaching market she came to know Lakhan never reached there..neither the cyber caf recognized Shreya's photo

With fear gripping her heart Sree moved back to home

Saket was already ready to go back to his house handed her a letter "madam jee yea ek bacha de ke gaya kaha aapko dene ko..mein niklu?"

Sree looked at him.. this people believe in that khajana raksha part so genuinely she just nodded and Saket moved out

Sree sat on the couch exhausted..

"di kaka..kaha hey...aap dono.."

She grabbed her head.. then her eyes fall on the letter, thinking for few minutes she unfolded it and her eyes widens..

IF YOU WANT YOUR SISTER SAFE COME ALONE WITH THE TREASURE

TO THE ROAD CONNECTIONG POLADPUR

QUICK

"treasure? Kya hey treasure? Nahi aise baith k sochne se koi fayda nahi..mein police, nahi nahi.. ager yea log di ko kidnap kr skte hey to nuksaan bhi pahucha skte hey.. and India ki police.. pata nahi kitna active hoga..mein jaungi..umm per treasure..haan kahungi wo bank mey hey..hum dono ko jana hoga..tch kuch tab soch lungi.."

She was about to move but stopped

"Purvi di CID mey hey, per unka to number nahi mere pass..yea she is coming next day..koi note.."

She looked around..got the phone book wrote

"going to save di.. don't know where is Lakhan kaka help.."

She teared another page wrote the road name and kept the note page open and letter beside it pressed with a paperweight and moved out with the page with road name.

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1.KRITTIKA thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#2

21st evening

Purvi descended down from cab in front of the bungalow and tried to call a number once again

But disappointment came clear in her face "yea Shreya ko ho kya gaya hey..kal se phone not reachable.."

She moved to the house and looked around to find someone..but no one is there..

She searched for bell switch but no switch but only a bell attached with rope..

Purvi pulled it two three times but even with the grave voice no one came out

Purvi tried to knock but the door got opened

"darwaja khula?"
Purvi moved inside her CID instincts in full alert mode

But everything is at its place..no sign of struggle nothing misplaced..

Purvi called out "Shreya... Shreya... Sree... koi hey gher pey?"

She moved forward inside, the bedroom is locked securely..

She moved to the window between hall and bedroom.. its locked from inside but within the glass she can see everything at its place

"ager wo dono kayi khud gaye hey to gher khula chor ke kyun aur yeaha ka caretaker?"

She moved to main hall and sat at the couch rubbing her palms "kuch smjh nahi araha..kya.."

The open phone book and the letter caught her attention..

Reading the letter and the note Purvi felt confused "khajana? Sree khajana le ke gayi hey?per Shreya to keh rahi thi unn dono ko pata nahi khajane ki bareme..fir kya Sree asehi..fir to wo log aur khtrnaq ho skte hey..umm..haan iss jagah pey jake dekhti hu..sayed kuch.."

she stopped as her phone rang, it was from Abhijeet

"haan sir"

"Purvi wo jo kal file di tha na, khurana case ka wo tumhe rakhne ko kaha tha..kaha rakh di?"

"sir wo..wo drawer haan third drawer mey.."

"Purvi kya baat hey pareshan ho?any prblm?"

"sir wo..meri jis frnd ki pass mey ayi thi Shreya..wo kidnapped ho gayi aur uski behen Sree bhi gayeb hey"

"what?kaise haan?"

Purvi explained the note and letter and said "Shreya ne kaha tha mein ake iss khajane ki gutthi suljhau uss bareme wo dono nahi jnte kuch..fir sir Sree.."

"relax relax Purvi..ek kaam kro tum jaha Sree ko jane ko kaha tha woha Poladpur se connection wale raste mey jao..aspas pata lagao ki kisine Sree ko dekha kya..tumhare pass Sree ka koi photo hey?"

"haa sir wo face book pey.."

"acha fir bungalow ki aspas bhi logo se pucho..inn dino kuch hua kya.."

"jee sir"

"ager kal taq dono ka pata na chle mein sir se baat krke Asha aur Freddy ko vej dunga woha..Asha ayi hui hey yeaha aise bhi.."

"nahi sir mein manage.."

"Purvi.."

"thank u sir.."

she disconnected the call and looked around found a lock and key

so moved out locking the main door

she hired a cab and moved to the road connection Poladpur..it's a T junction..one going direct to Poladpur, other to main Mahabaleshwar by the Ambenali Ghats and another is the way of NH66 the mumbai goa highway.

Purvi sighed "yeaha se to wo log kahi bhi ja skte hey..Poladpur jaye to fir Satara Ratnagiri bhi ja skte hey aur ager NH66..nahi woha check post honge to iska chance kam hey..baki raha Poladur aur back to Mahabaleshwar..." she looks around and found two small tea stall, a grocery shop and a motor repair shop

She made her way to the tea stall and started directly "bhaiya aap ki dukan kab taq khuli rehta hey??"

"yeahi koi 9 baje taq..abhie band krne hi wala tha kiu..koi..baat"

"jee aap yea photo dekhiye.."

She showed him the photo she had downloaded from face book "aapne iss larki ko kal iss waqt yeaha aspas dekha hey?"

"pata nahi..meri dur ki najar thori kamjor hey..to.."

Purvi just nodded and moved to grocery shop but there also no luck, then the other tea stall which was closed yesterday.

Lastly she moved to the motor repair shop..the man there is already noticing Purvi from the time she came here so he directly started "aap kisi ko dhund rahi hey?"

"jee yea larki.."

"yea larki thi ki nahi mujhe pata nahi..kiuki cehra meine utne gaur se dekha nahi..ek larki kal yeaha ayi thi..chup chap khari thi..fir mere dukan mey ek gari ayi..unki engine mey kuch kachra tha to pareshani de rahi thi..wo thik kiya..jab mein thik kr raha tha tab gari se ek admi ne dusre ko kaha yea wohi hey fir larki ki taraf gaya..yeaha mera kaam bhi khtm hua..paise deke wo log nikal gaye dukan se"

"fir?"

"fir mujhe mere larke ne bulaya to mein dekh nahi paya ki larki gari mey gayi ki nahi..per fir wo gari Mahabaleshwar ki taraf nikle"

"thank u bhaisaab apne bahut madat ki..thank a lot"

Purvi took the cab back to bungalow..

It's already late night so she postponed the idea of interrogating neighbors for next day and got busy to have a look inside house

Checking the hall and not getting a thing she moved to bedroom, opened the lock and got in..

Giving a thorough search there she found the notepad...

Reading the points there unintentionally a smile crept on her lips..

She heard her phone ringer and picked it up seeing Asha's number "haa maam"

"kuch pata chala..haan mam bahut kuch..Sree ne humara kaam asan krke rakha.."

"kya matlb?use andesha tha ki wo.."

"nahi sayed per fir bhi..usne sare confusion point krke likh rakha hey..aur Sree ko khajana ki bareme nahi pata"

"chalo achi baat hey..aur Poladpur se kuch.."

"wo log sayed Sree ko leke yeahi aye Mahabaleshwar" she explained the things..

Asha listen carefully "hmm..acha tum aab dinner krlo aur so jao..tension mat lo..kuch nahi hoga unn dono ko..kiuki khajana jab taq unki haath nahi ata wo log Sree aur Shreya ko kuch nahi krenge"

"hmmm.."

"per Purvi raat ko alert rehna..ho skta hey oi chori wagera ki attempt ho..kal subha mein aur Freddy pahuch rahe woha.."

"maam aaplog.."

"ACP sir ki order hey"

Purvi smiled..and after bidding good night they dscncted the call. Purvi moved to the other bedroom taking the notebook with her..moved to kitchen took a glass of milk and lied on bed trying to arrange all the points and kidnapping in a line and in the process slept unknowingly

22nd morning:

Purvi had thought of a theory and is now waiting for Asha and Freddy.. she had tried accessing Shreya's laptop but its password locked.

She tried to trace Shreya's phone..but it had been switched off only at a distance of 10minutes from the bungalow.

Purvi had visited that spot, but it's a silent road with no shops or good amount of people.

She had searched Lakhan's quarter and found some letters room which its evident that Lakhan had married at young age but his wife died after one year only while delivery and even the baby..from that day Lakhan never went back home..his brother have requested to marry him again but he denied..

So now he is here for 50 years as his nephew had stated in a letter..so he can get a benefit of doubt that he is not behind all this

Purvi also meet the cook, who is herself confused by this disappearance

In her words "mem sahib mein to do ghero mey khana pakati hu, do bideshi memsahib ayenge kehke Lakhan chacha mujhe le aye..mein subha ek br ake sham ko ekbr ake khana bana dungi aisa baat hua..per mein sham ko nahi a pati..to subha bana diya..parso subha bana ke gayi..kal ayi to dekha koi nahi gher pey..kuch der intejar ki..fir laga bidesh se aye hey sayed gaye honge aspas dekhne chacha hi le gaye honge..to mein wapas agayi..mera number hey unn log ki pass to jarurat ho to bula lnge na..nahi bulaya to aj fir ayi to dekha aap ho.."

Purvi asked "khajane ki bareme kuch suna kabhie tumne?"

"haan yeaha sb kehte hey yeaha ek shaapit khajana hey..mujhe to lgta hey khajane cheez shapit hi hote hey..warna wo kharch kiye bina uske malik thori mar jate.."

Purvi sighed and ordered her to move to kitchen..

Then she meet the neighbors..and talked with the aunty..then Saket..who told about the kid delivering the letter..it's just one of the kids in the chawl situated at a distance

Purvi walked there with Saket who identified the kid..according to the kid a burqewali gave him the letter..but she was very tall..and her voice was strange

The kid can't explain more..but Purvi concluded it was not a woman but a man, trying to hid his identity under the full body cloak

Purvi came back to bungalow and found a well known car parked in front of it.

Purvi came forward, Freddy Asha and Vivek came down of the car..

Freddy started "yea Vivek chutti mana ne aya tha..mein hi nahi rahunga Mumbai to wo bhi chala aya"

Purvi smiled and after formal greetings they all moved inside

After finishing with refreshments Asha came to the point "haan Purvi to aur kya kya pata chala?"

Purvi explained the whole whatever she came to know and showed them the note, Sree's points and the letter

then concluded with "mam mujhe lagta hey yea sab iss Jonathan ka hi kiya dhara hey"

Vivek cleared his throat "nahi..mujhe nahi lgta (seeing Asha's glance he clarified) ager Jonathan ko kuch cahiye to iss gher ki malikana to wo Shreya ko kidnap krne ki bad usse sign kerwa leta na kagjat fir Sree ko yea treasure ki saath bulane"

Freddy cut him "nahi Vivek dekh aisa bhi to ho skta hey na Shreya raji nahi hui isliye Sree ko le gaye taqi apne liye na sahi apni behen k liye Shreya kamjor parjaye?"

Vivek shook his head "per sir fir yea khajana"

Asha stopped them "nahi Vivek Freddy ki baat pey point hey..Jonathan ho bhi skta hey..per hum abhie conclusion mey nahi askte Sree ne likha use Jonathan jana pehchana laga..kyun?umm 12saal pehle.." she shook her head and turned to Purvi "tumne Shreya ki bedroom search kiya tha?"

"hmm..per sayed hume ek bar firse dekhna cahiye..tab mein itni tensed thi ki.."

Asha pressed her shoulder "Freddy lag jao.."

Freddy smiled and moved inside taking the key

Purvi continued "meine Shreya ki laptop kholne ki bhi koshish ki per password locked hey.."

Vivek interrupted "mein dekh skta hu? Sayed..."

Purvi nodded and moved in and brought the laptop

Vivek got busy with the laptop

Asha asked "Purvi tumhe iss family ki history ka kuch pata hey?"

Purvi looked up questioningly

"yea jo points Sree ney tayer kiya usse lagta hey yea gutthi iss family ki past se juri hey Jonathan khajana sab"

Freddy who was coming out of the room with a paper added "haan Asha aab to mujhe bhi yeahi lagta hey"

all the three pairs of eyes turned to him, he settled on the couch and handed the paper..

It was the same paper with dhamki on it

Vivek peeped in "khajane pey haq kiska hey?"

Asha is silently looking at the paper.

Freddy shook his head "Sree ki points ki hisab se to bas wo dono hi..but mein ek baat to sure hu..khajana hey..kuch na kuch to hey per kya..Purvi tumhe kuch pata hey iss family ke bareme?"

Purvi shook her head "nahi aisa to kuch nahi.."

Freddy said firmly "thik se yaad kro..sayed jo baat tumhe lage isse juri hui na ho wo bhi..(then turned to Asha who was still in same posture) Asha tumhe kya hua..aise kya soch rahi ho?"

Asha looked up "yea jo koi hey..usko bhi nahi pata akhir khajana hey kya..warna wo jab Shreya aur Sree even Lakhan kaka ko bhi hata chuka hey field clear tha wo ake khajana lene ki koshis to krta na?lagvag 20hrs they uske pass Purvi ki ane taq"

Freddy nodded..

Purvi sighed "jaha taq mein jnti hu kisi wajah se uncle mtlb Shreya ki papa ki sath uske dadajee ki nahi banti thi..aur uski koi chachu..yea to Sree ne likha hi hey"

Asha formed query as "Shreya aur Sree yeaha ate they canada jane se pehle?"

"haa summer vacation mey..per uncle nahi ate they..bas aunty aur wo dono.."

"iss gher ki bareme koi kahani..mtlb bachpan mey Shreya ne suni ho tumhe bataya hey?"

Purvi seemed to be in deep thought

the trance broke with nearly a shout "khul gayaa"

every one turned to Vivek, Freddy uttered "heart attack dilake rahega"

Asha moved to Vivek and praised "arey wah tum to ethical hacker ho Vivek"

he smiled rubbing the back of his head..Asha went through the folders then said "Vivek dhyan se check kro kuch milta kya kaam ka.."

Freddy interrupted "ek bar pura gher nahi dekhna cahiye?sayed kuch mile?"

Asha nodded and turned to Purvi "chalo Purvi, hume thora aspas ghum ana cahiye"

all got in work..

Vivek along with the soft copy of blueprint found a soft copy of the will made by Mr. Nikhilranjan Chopra. Reading it he really found it interesting

Freddy found lots of antique, but as he expected there will be some hidden door or something there was none

Asha and Purvi again moved to the aunty tried to get any history of the house, but unable..instead got address of a person who is the eldest person in locality and he is well known for his knowledge in local history

Asha and Purvi moved there, and got to know a good amount of history

after about an hour they gathered back in bungalow.

Asha started "ek bahut interesting story pata chali hey..ruko batati hu..isse pehle tum dono batao"

Freddy shook his head "koi khufiya rasta..darwaja..tayekhana nahi hey..bas hein to bahut sare antiques"

Vivek smiled "sir aapko ager khufiya darwaja mil jata to?woha ager Nikhilranjan jee ki atma hoti?"

"dekh Vivek.."

Purvi stopped them "sir Vivek..please.."

Freddy made a face, Vivek started in fresh tone "mujhe iss laptop mey Nikhilranjan jee ki wasiyet ki scanned copy mili hey..yea delete kiya ja chuka tha..harddisk se restore kiya meine..baki to sb thik hey..wo apne gher ko bete ki nam de rahe kuch jamin hey Benares mey wo kisi ashram ko de rahe..per last mey ek ajeeb baat likhi hey..yea dekhiye"

he turned laptop to other three

its written "LEAVING BEHIND THE MOST PRECIOUS POSSESION OF MY LIFE, WHO EVER LONGS FOR IT SHALL GO TO MACKGREGOR'S GRAVE"

after a short silent Purvi says "to ise liye yea baat chalu hui thi ki marna hoga.."

Vivek nods "per Macgregor hi kiu...koi aur Mr. X Mr. Y kiu nahi? Aur Mr. Chopra was an hindu to grave ki dhamki kiu?samshan ki kiu nahi?unhe to maut ki bad jalaya gaya tha na?"

Purvi nods "Mrs. Nikhilranjan ko unhone sare humare rit manne ko kaha tha..and she turned herself according to family..yea kahani Shreya ne sunayi thi..to.."

Asha tried to say something with a smile but Freddy cut her with "mujhe to lgta hey yea maut ki baat nahi kr raha warna direct likhta he had to face death..yea dekho Sree ne likha hey na Mrs. Nikhilranjan kisi aise English family ki last descendent thi jiski freedom struggle se nata tha? yea Macgregor usse related to nahi?"

Asha genuinely praised "arey wah Freddy tir bilkul sahi nishane pey lagaya.."

Vivek confusingly asked "fir humne aisa koi naam history mey para kiu nahi??"

Purvi smiled "itihas ki panno mey sab kuch nahi likha hota Vivek..bahut kuch andekha ansuna krke agey bar jata hey yea itihas"

Asha cleared her throat "hum ek aise admi se mile jo history ki professor they Delhi university mey..aur retirement ki bad unhone yeaha gher liya aur yeaha ki itihas janne ki koshish ki..to unse hi hume kuch kuch pata chala.."

and she started narrating whatever she came to know

"Mrs. Nikhilranjan Chopra, mtlb Margaret Chopra ki father they Mr. Macgregor. Humne itihas mey para hi hey yea Mahabaleshwar British jamane mey Bombay province ki summer capital tha?(others nodded) to yeaha Robert Macgregor apni beti ki saath rehne aye they jaha Nikhilranjan jee se unki shaadi hui. Sipayi mutiny ki bahut important member maharaja Kanjilal Singh Ajimgar mey British o ki saath jang ki bad 1858 saal mey Munnahar se nau leke wo ganga ki uss par jarahe they..British ki tab ki general Campbell ki saath contract hua tha ki ager Kanjilal Singh attack na kre British side se attack nahi hoga. Per contract pura nahi kiya gaya. Munnahar ki Sapura ghat ki kuch duri pey ek gun boat se Macgregor ne Singh ki nau pey vari golabari ki aur Kanjilal Singh mara gaye..unki nau mey bahut sare kimti saman they jo Macgregor aur unki sathio ne apas mey baat liya"

after a short silence Freddy asked "usmese hi kuch.."

"haan..Mrs. Margaret ki ek bhai bhi they..unhe Macgregor ki soch pasnd nahi thi, wo apni baap ki birudh jake help krte they logo ko. Macgregor ko jab yea baat pata chali unhone apne bete se sare haq chin liya..aur beti ko hi lauta baris man liya..to ho skta hey unki maut ki bad Mrs. Nikhilranjan Chopra ko uss kimti aur historic saman mese kuch mila.."

"per kya?"

"yea janne ke liye to hume Macgregor ki grave jana parega"

Vivek looked up "per issmey yea jo jiska haq hey dhamki mey kaha gaya wo kaise fit hoga?"

Freddy answered "sayed Macgregor ki bete ki family ka koi..kiuki yea to Chopra family ki jaydad hey nahi to.."

Asha firmly said "wo jayedad kisi family ki nahi desh ki hey..ager hum pata laga paye wo museum jayega..aab wo choro..Vivek pata lagane ki koshis kro 1864 mey jab Macgregor ki death hui unka grave kaha banaya gaya..pura naam Robert Mackgregor,wo British ki royal artillery mey they to history achese study kro net wagera mey mil jayega"

Purvi was till now sitting silently looked up "aur Shreya Sree?"

Asha patted her shoulder..Freddy answered "meine jis agent ki through Shreya gher bechna cahti thi unse baat ki kuch kaam ka nahi pata chala..aur asspass ki sare farmhouse mey bhi pata lagaya Mr. Jonathan pune gaye hey usi din jis din wo yeaha aye they..aj shaam ko laut rahe hey, hum unse milne jayenge"

Asha nodded "aur Lakhan.."

"Lakhan uss din market gaya nahi tha nahi gaon gaya..Local police se baat ki hey meine wo bhi pata laga rahe hey"

Freddy finished his line when his phone rang.

He excused himself and moved to attend the call.

After he moved Vivek propped in "kahi Lakhan ne hi to Shreya ki.."

Purvi shook her head "ager Lakhan kaka ko khajana cahiye hota to wo itne saloon mey khud dhund lete na..kidnapping wagera ki jarurat nahi parti"

Freddy joined in "haan Purvi..sahi kaha Lakhan jee ki lash mili hey elephant point ki pass ki jungle mey"

Purvi looked up "kya?"

"haan..hume abhie chlna hoga"

Asha nodded "Purvi Freddy tum dono niklo..mein aur Vivek iss Macgregor ki grave ka dkhte hey"

they two got up moved to destination..

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#3

Reaching there they found Lakhan was shot dead directly in middle of forehead from a long distance

Freddy looked around "yeaha Lakhan kya krne aya tha?"

Purvi was knelling beside the body now looked up "sir dekhke lag raha hey kam se kam 48 ghante ho gaya..(she found something) sir Lakhan kaka ki shirt mey yea polyester ki tukra mila hey..dekh k lag raha hey gari ki seat ki tukra hey"

"Lakhan gari mey yeaha aya?" Freddy said to himself.

Purvi tried to imagine the thing "sir ager hum Lakhan kaka ko suspect na mane to aisa ho skta hey unhone dekha tha Shreya ko kaun la rahe hey aur unhone unka picha kiya?"

Freddy nodded "ager aisa hey to wo log isi area mey..(he turned to local police) 20th ko sham

6 se 9 baje ki karib market area mey jitne mobiles active they hume unki list cahiye aur parso aur kal sara din jitne mobiles iss area mey active tha uska bhi jaldi aur iss body ka bhi jald se jald postmortem report cahiye"

after giving out instructions they returned back to bungalow.

As soon as they reached there Vivek informed "sir Macgregor ki grave ki pata chal gaya hey..sewri cemetery mey hey.."

Purvi narrowed her eyes "wo to sakharam lanjekar marg mey hey, Mumbai mey?"

Vivek nodded..

Freddy explained about what they found, Asha after listening the whole thing said "Vivek tum kal subha Mumbai chle janna..graveyard dekh ana..aur har angle se Macgregor ki grave ki jach krke ana..kuch bhi dikhe to note kr lana..inform bhi kr dena..subha hi nikal jana..jate jate hi 10-11ghanta lag jayega.."

then turned to Freddy and Purvi "Freddy kya wo log Lakhan ko marne ke bad aab taq woha honge?"

"nahi Asha..per ager hume koi aisa mobile number mile jispey hum shaq kr paye to uski present location se sayed kuch madat mile?"

Asha just nodded..and moved to inform all details of day to the team

23rd Morning

Vivek left for Mumbai at the early hour and local police had given the required list

now Purvi is busy in searching for any similar numbers active at both the location while Asha and Freddy had moved to meet Jonathan

Purvi found two numbers 7710988856 and 9820864325 common in both areas.. she started tracing the numbers present location..

Freddy and Asha reached the farmhouse where Jonathan was staying,aftr meeting him and giving their introduction Freddy started "aap 20th ko kaha they?"

"mein apne ek dost ki woha pune gaya tha..per kiu officers?"

"is baat ki koi sabot hey apki pas?aur kab gaye they aap?"

"19th ki raat ko hi nikla tha, aj bahut subha lauta..gawah...haan mere jis dost se milne gaya tha wo hey..per officer akhir baat kya hey?"

Asha started explaining "actually hum miss Shreya Chopra aur miss Sree Chopra ki kidnapping ki tahkikat kr rahe hey aur hume shaq hey ki inki piche aapki haath hey.."

"mera? Aaplog yea soch bhi kaise skte hey officer..wo dono mere bhatiji hey.."

Freddy and Asha exchanged glances "what?"

"jee, mere pitaji yeani Shreya aur Sree ki dadajee ne mujhe jaydad se aur apne naam se bedakhal kiya tha..kiuki meine apni religion chnge kiya tha..per mein bachpan se uss jaydad ki baat sunta aya tha..to meine gher kharidne ki sochi, mujhe apni gher mey rehna tha ant ki din..per iss wajase kidnapping..apni bhatijio ki..bhaiya ne humesha mera saath diya jab taq mein bidesh na chala gaya..unki betiyo ki saath.."

Asha cleared her throat "aapki uss pune ki dost ki number dijiye.."

Jonathan silently provided the number and Asha moved aside to call, here Freddy's phone rang.. its Purvi

She informed that two numbers were present at the both location, one of which 9820864325 , registered at the name of Arthur Macgregor is now at BBD chawl, worli while the other one 7710988856registered at the name of Ashok Gupta is now in Fern Surya resort

Freddy listening the whole said "Arthur Macgregor..Purvi tumhe kya lagta hey.."

"haa sir per ager hum galat hue to?iss Ashok Gupta ko pura chor dena.."

Asha came and joined Freddy, who explained her the matter..

Asha nodded "hum dono jagah hi jayenge..Purvi tum local police se contact kro aur mamla explain kr do..hum police station mey milte hey adhe ghante mey.."

After disconnecting the call she turned to Jonathan "aapki dost ne to keh diya per aap aab bhi huare shaq ki ghere mey ho..khair filal hum chlte hey..per aap police ki permission ki bina kahi jaiyega mat.."

"aaplogo ko ager Shreya aur Sree ka kuch pata chale to.."

"hum bata denge.."

They moved out, Asha called the mobile company and asked for Jonathan's phone record even arranged a tracker on his number and moved to the police station

Reaching there and discussing the pros and cons Freddy with some local police moved to Fern Surya resort while Asha and Purvi along with some other local police moved to BBD chawl, worli

After meeting Ashok Gupta and interrogating him he turned out to be a PhD student writing paper on the places on historic places in India which are seldom mentioned.

On the other hand Tracing Arthur's number Asha, Purvi and troop reached a old one storey building at the farthest corner of the chawl.

According to neighbors no one stays there...the house is like this from years..

Asha knocked the door, but no one opened..getting no response a constable broke open the door and all of them entered..

Giving the house a through search no one is found, but seeing the rust free and dust free condition of things it's clear that people come here..

After checking all the rooms they reach a locked door, which is locked from the other side..without making much noise the constable open the door and they moved in..

The room contain stairs directly down to the basement

The team started descending the stairs

When they were halfway the stairs they heard a girl's voice as "hume sach mey nahi pata wo kis precious possession ki bareme keh ke gaye hey..humne to iss baat ko rumor smjh liya..now you are saying thers truth behind it.."

A male's voice..from the voice a man of approx 60s is speaking "no it's not a rumor..I'm descendent of the Robert Macgregor's family..I should get the treasure nor you..and your forefather that Nikhilranjan took the possession to himself..but now you will led me to it..I promise I will not harm you just let me know whatever you know about it.."

Purvi and Asha descended few steps more and now the scene in the room is visible to them..

Sree and Shreya are tied to two chairs and two goons standing pointing guns at them, while another man whose face is not visible to them is sitting on another chair opposite to Shreya and Sree

Sree continued "humne bas itna suna hey ki ager koi uss treasure ko khojne ki koshish kre to uski death ho jayegi.."

"wo rubbish..I am searching for it from years..Lakhan moves to his quarter at night and I move in the bungalow..but no..nothing came..nothing..but then you two came here..all of a sudden..you know about the treasure right?"

Shreya looked at him "hum jante bhi honge to nahi batayenge.."

"then I will send you to Lakhan..he like a fool got inside the boot of the car and tried to follow me, while I'm bringing you here and what he got..tch tch..I don't want to do that with you, so tell me about the treasure..come on.."

Asha answered him "wo dono to nahi per hum bata sakte hey.."

Within seconds the guns changed their direction towards this new entries, but Arthur signaled them to stop "ohh police..so you all think you will be able to arrest me.."

Purvi smirked "why not.."

He pulled out a gun from his waist pocket and pointed it towards them "now also?"

Asha too pulled out her gun and pointed at Arthur "sure"

Arthur cried out "fire.."

And ducked down..

Asha and Purvi were also fast enough to duck down and then hid under the stairs, local constables also took the position..

The bullet fighting started, Asha noticed Arthur trying to go up, while Sree and Shreya unable to move are at danger

She ordered the constables to cover fire Purvi and ask her to move to Shreya and Sree while herself moved towards Arthur..

Purvi managed to freed both of them and was about to move them aside when a bullet from Arthur's gun sliced passed Sree's arm

And another bullet from Asha's gun entered Arthur's leg making him fall..

After wrapping up from the treatment Shreya Sree Arthur and even Jonathan was present in the police station,

Arthur started "Margaret Macgregor was my great grandaunt..from early days of my childhood I had an interest about the history, so my father gave me Robert Macgregor's diary which was the only possession our family had..everything else was taken by this Chopra family. I read that diary and came to know that he had looted maharaja Kanjilal Singh's wealth and distributed high amount of it among other generals, but had a very expensive precious possession with him.. and given that to his son in law Nikhilranjan Chopra..when I had earned enough I came back here and started searching for it..but till now I am a looser..I'm just a failure.."

He was taken in the custody and Purvi introduced Shreya with Jonathan

"mere chachu? Per papa to kehte they..unhone sanyas.."

Sree sighed "uncle aap bilkul papa jaise dikhte ho..bas this beard moustache and specs papa ko nahi hey..isiliye I felt I have seen you earrliar per smjh hi nahi araha tha.."

Jonathan smiled "meine apna religion chnge kr liya to pitajee ne mujhse sare haq chin liya..per bhaiya ko pitajee ki yea decision pasand nahi aya aur un dono mey kabhie bani nahi fir..bhaiya Delhi chale gaye aur aye nahi..mujhse contact rakhte they jab taq mein USA nahi gaya..fir to itne saal bad hi lauta..socha tha pitajee ki gher mey rukunga to kharidne agaya.."

Sree cut him "aapko kharidna nahi hey uncle yea aapka bhi to hey..kiu di.."

"haan cachu aab se aap hi rahenge yeaha..aur hum dono jab bhi waqt milega aapki sar me sawar hone ajayenge..Lakhan kaka ki pass jaise purane din ki kahani sunte they bachpan mey wo sab.."

A sad aroma floated in the air, a foolish greed..it cost a life?

Jonathan smiled and patted both their heads, then Shreya turned to Purvi "tu to sachi muchi achi wali CID officer ban gayi..kaise.."

Purvi gave her a burning glance so she thought better to shut her mouth.. Sree turned to Asha "mam kya sach mey koi treasure?"

"nahi treasure nahi..per bahut kimti..amulya kuch yeaha.."

Jonathan looked around "kya.."

"Mr. Nikhilranjan ki wasiyet ki el copy mili Shreya ki laptop mey.."

Shreya added "haan papa ne scan kerwaya tha, per meine para nahi a papa ne wo delete kr diya to.."

Asha continued "haan humne wo restore kiya, likha tha leaving behind the most precious possession of my life, whoever longs for it shall go to Macgregor's grave.. Vivek uss grave ka pata lagaya aur woha gaya, woha uss grave mey clue hey"

"grave mey clue?"

Freddy came forward and opened a photo in his cell

It's a photo of a grave on which it's written

ROBERT MACKGREGOR

BORN : 17TH MAY 1822

DEATH : 23RD APRIL 1864

SOMEONE WHO ONCE RULED DESTINY

Sree too looked at the photo "yea to kuch jyada hi ghamandi tha..destiny ka bhi ruler?"

Shreya smiled "har word ki first letter ka size kuch atpata nahi hey?"

Jonathan shook his head "per ismey khajana..nahi matlb..kimti cheez.."

Freddy smiled "abhie Shreya ne jo kaha usimey to clue hey..chaliye gher chlte hey woha dikha denge.."

All moved to bungalow still in confusion, reaching there entering hall Freddy moved to the wall and pulled down the mighty size sword while Asha continued

"har word ki first letter ki size ko bara krke unhone clue diya tha, will mey likhi tha leaving behind the most precious possession of my life, whoever longs for it shall go to Macgregor's grave, logo ne isma matlb maut samajh liya jab ki iska matlb tha grave visit krna.. inn first letters ko dekhiye, S W O R D.. matlb sword.. talwar.."

Freddy joined them "iss room mey do talware thi..per iski size aur iski handle design hi keh rahi thi yea khas hey.. Shreya ki laptop Vivek le gaya aur grave se yea clue milte hi iss talwar ki pic usne Mumbai ki ek historian ko dikhaya..jiska kehna hey iski pair Jhansi fort mey hey..yea Jhansi ki maharani ki gift tha maharaj Kanjilal Singh ko.."

Jonathan took the sword and slowly uncovered it.. so many years but still no rust..it's shining..

Shreya lightly touched the blade..Sree looking at the handle murmured "ismey sayed Jhansi ki rani ki stamp bhi ho.."

Purvi smiled "haa Sree ho sakta hey..per kya yea talwar desh ki possession nahi hey?tum logo ko nahi lagta ise museum mey rakhne cahiye..taki itihas ka jo panna kho gaya wo jur jaye.."

Jonathan nodded "haan..warna log to anjan hi reh jayenge.."

Shreya smiled "hum aj hi museum walo se baat krenge.."

Sree sighed "per di sach mey uss jamane mey log itne bhari sword leke larte kaise they?khate kya they wo log?"

"Now it's really a mystery...another one, it will be solved some other time..." Purvi winked..

Parts of history are totally fictional..and please don't try to compare with any country's history😊😊

If anyone is hurt by our narration or portrayal of characters sorry.. NOM to anyone while writing..😊

Edited by 1.KRITTIKA - 9 years ago
HIAK thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#4
nice...well written hope we'll get good marks in this round :)
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Posted: 9 years ago
#5
*EDITED*
Such a long story😆
Very well investigation.
U brought Vivek, Asha back! Loved it ❤️
Well done!👏

Edited by aditya_anjaana - 9 years ago
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Posted: 9 years ago
#6
Really nice investigative story 👏 I liked it. The way you have wrote like an episode is good 😊 And I am really confused whether I should mention the thing openly in this thread , which I didn't like personally 😕
Abhisheking thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#7
Awesome One. 👏

I liked the way the mysteries were being solved. 😉
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Team Silver Trio

Posted: 9 years ago
#8
Haichit. You made me 29 and Sree 24. 😆 And NRIs in Canada. 😆 Sree aa jaa. Tu bhi mere saath reh yahan ab. 😉 At least we're from a rich family. 😉

Now, now. I'm more adventurous. I would be the one to go after the treasure, not Sree. 😆

But seriously, the beginning gave me the actual FW feel. But it also gave me the feel of something out of a movie. 👏

Puri CID team ko invite. Baap re. Abhijeet sir aayenge toh mera kya haal hoga? 😳 😆

I like how you mentioned the architectural plans. No questions asked at least. 👏

Absolutely Shreya is no coward. But then Sree isn't either. 😉

I liked how Sree used her brain and left a note in case she didn't come back.

And then the case wasn't given to CID. They just came on it because Purvi and I are friends. 👏 I is sad though. You were going to send the entire CID team to my house naa? I wanted to see Abhijeet sir! 😭 😆

You brought Asha back! 👏 And Vivek too! 👏

I like how the investigation proceeded. No computer work. All footwork and brainwork. 👏

A soft copy of a will? Really? How's that?

Why send Vivek to Mumbai? Why not just ask someone in Mumbai to do it?

I like how quickly, but realistically, Purvi and Asha found us. 👏

SWORD. Nice work on that. 👏

There is one thing I wanted to point out. The Hindi words were very hard to understand. It took some time just to decipher what was being said sometimes. The English was understandable, but the Hindi not always.

Otherwise a great story. Thank you for this. 😊
1.KRITTIKA thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#9
Mein khud bengali hu to hindi mey galti ho bhi skti hey..
And haffooo to said she is weak in hindi kya kare

Arey haan vivek ko vejna nahi cahiye tha.. Mera dimaag mey aya nahi

btw khush ho bari behen ban ke? Wo bhi rich family ki beti ban ke??
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Posted: 9 years ago
#10
Finished reading. The story was overall nice and I think the theme said that it has to include Shreya and Deba. I was a bit confused because as far as I know Shreya is the younger one in reality. 😆


Nice to see Asha and Vivek back. The sword thing reminded me of the sword of Griffindor.,😆


The investigation was good and the characterisations were nice. Loved Vivek-Freddie investigating together. how much I miss them! 😔

I am not sure what the other conditions of the story were. I wish you ha posted that at the top so that I could judge how close it is to the theme. Now I have to check the other thread. Anyways, no problem. nice attempt 😊



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