Write a scene contest - RESULTS ON PG11

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Posted: 14 years ago

#31

Trying for the first time!!!!!

ENTRY NO.14

Daya:Aaj Freddy bahut khush lag raha.Pata hein kya hua hein use?

Abhijeet: Khush to hein par pata nahi kyu?

Daya: Chalo na pooch te hein.

Abhijeet: Do minute rukho, mein abhi aata hu.

(Next scene)

Freddy comes to meet Daya.

Freddy: Sir aaj mein bahut, bahut khush hoon.

Daya: kya hua, Freddy? Hume bhi to batao. Aur vaise bhi tum suit mein bahut handsome lag rahe ho.

Freddy :😳 Thank you sir. Aaj mere wife ne mujhe promise kiya ki wo mujhse ghar mein koi kaam nahi karayegi!!!! Aur sir wo bhi humesha humesha ke liye!!!

Daya and Freddy shake hands.

Daya :Ye to bahut badi khush khabri hein!!!

Freddy: Sir mein jaake Tarika ji ko bhi bata hu.

Daya :Ha kyu nahi. (glances at working Abhijeet and smiles)

Freddy enters the forensic lab.

Tarika hears someone and turns behind and sees Freddy. She is surprised.

Tarika:Freddy, aaj aise? By the way, tum suit mein handsome lag rahe ho. Khush khabri kya hein?

Freddy:Pata hein, Aaj mere wife ne mujhe promise kiya ki wo mujhse ghar mein koi kaam nahi karayegi (and suddenly feels bad - changes to sad expression)

Tarika: Ye achi khabar hein par phir tum dukhi kyu lag rahe ho?

Freddy: Agar aise hua to meri wife bechari poora din kaam karke thak jayegi aur jab wo mujhe dat thi hein tab mujhe accha lag tha hein....... Tarika ji.... mein meri wife ko phone kar ke aata hu.

Freddy leaves.

Tarika: Freddy bhi na...

Sorry, if there are any mistakes. I can't view the other pictures except the one in which Freddy is in the suit. So I made out the scene by reading a few posts.

Quote

aadri-

@aadri-

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

#32

ENTRY NO. 15

Picture 1... At CID bureau.........

Abhijeet :- Yeh kaise ho gaya Daya ! Heinnnn.......

Daya :- Ha Abhijeet, mai bhi wo hi soch raha hu ! Hum dono ke rahte huye sab log Freddy ko kaise.................!!!

Abhijeet:- Woh hi toh !! Humara to koi value hi nahi raha !

Daya :- Ha boss !................ aur dekho itni garmi mein kaise suit pahenke aagaya !!

Picture 2... A few minutes later..........

Daya (holding Freddy's hand) :- Keya Freddy, aaj khushi ke maare suit pahenke bureau mein chale aaye........!

Freddy :- Haan Sir , par aap aur Abhijeet sir mere upar gussa to nahi ho??

Daya :- Arre nahi Freddy......kaisi baat karte ho ! Hum tum par gussa kiyu honge ?

Freddy :- Par sir aap dono thodi der pahele mere baare mein baat kar rahe the , mujhe laga aap mujhse naraaj ho !!!!

Daya :- Are nahi nahi ! Woh to bas tumhare suit ki tariif kar rahe the .....aur Abhijeet kahe raha tha ki 'itne saal baad logo ko Freddy ka value maalum pada'.....!

Freddy(with a big smile) :- Thank you sir.

Picture 3.... Next day at Forensic lab.......

Tarika :- Keya Freddy sir.....aaj kal aap bohot khush dikh rahe ho .........? Koi special baat hai keya?

Freddy :- Haan Dr. Tarika......aapko pata hai ke IF ki CID forum mein "Write a scene contest" chal raha hai.....aur us mein abhi tak jit ne bhi 'Entries' aaye hai sab mein 'main character' main hu.....har ek 'Entry' mein Daya sir aur Abhijeet sir se jyada part mera hai.......

Tarika :- Are wah ! Ye toh bahot achhi baat hai......par aap ne kabhi bataya nahi ke aap IF mein member ho!

Freddy :- Main peechhle kuchh maheeno se IF mein silent reader hu........par mujhe lagta tha ki uha pe koi bhi mujhe pasand nahi karta hai, bas saare ke saare Daya sir aur Abhijeet sir ke fans hai...... par phir pata chala ke main galat tha......log Daya aur Abhijeet sir ke sath sath mujhe bhi utna hi pyar karte hai........

Tarika :- Ha sir ......aapko koi kaise pasand nahi karega !! Aap to CID team ki jaan ho....

Freddy :- Thank you Dr. Tarika.

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visrom

@visrom

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#33

I am very happy this time....15 responses so far!!! Thank you so much everyone 😃 I feel motivated to conduct more contests if I see such a good response.

Special appreciation to Gadhadada for sending in 3 entries.👏

Others, please write your scenes. You have 2 days. Some regular members have not yet written. I wish I receive 20-25 entries this time.

Edited by visrom - 14 years ago

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neeme

@neeme

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#34

@visrom, i am feeling relly happy to participate in this contest.this is my first attempt....I am working on one more entry..... Because of these kinds of contest....people can make fun,...can enjoy it....And also this kind of contest is very important to make forum Active...👏

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gadhadada

@gadhadada

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#35

ENTRY: SIXTEEN (16)

Pic 1

ABHIJEET: arry isay tum nay kaha hay suit pehannay ko kya???!!!
DAYA: nahi boss.... main tou khud hairaan hun......
ABHIJEET: phir kahein wife nay tou nahi keh diya kay sahab suit mein buht handsome lagtay hain....
DAYA: ho sakta hay boss... chalo main dekhta hun....

Pic 2

DAYA: FREDDIE... very nice....
FREDDIE: thank you Sir...
DAYA: kya wife nay gift kiya hay???
FREDDIE: arry nahi Sir... main nay khud pehna hay... socha ABHIJEET Sir bhi tou coat pehantay hain tou kitnay smart lagtay hain... main bhi lagun ga....
DAYA(smiles): hmmmm.... acha.... wesay tum ja kahan rahay ho???
FREDDIE: abhi tou FORENSIC lab... kyun Sir!!!
DAYA: nahi kuch nahi.... (with smile) wesay agar tum meri tarah JEANS SHIRTS pehanna start ker do tou aur bhi dashing lago gay.... FREDDIE....

Pic 3

TAREEKA: FREDDIE... itni garmi mein JEANS SHIRT!!!
FREDDIE: Dr. TAREEKA mujhay DAYA Sir nay kaha hay kay un ki JEANS SHIRT mein hee un ki dashing look aur taqat ka raaz hay....... is liyey main nay bhi pehun li... wesay main lug raha hun na un kay JESA!!!
TAREEKA: haan tum DAYA say bhi buhat dashing lug rahay ho..... FREDDIE... (herself) magar agar tum ABHIJEET ki tarah coat pehanntay.... tou..... aur handsome lagtay..... magar tum bhi na....ahhhhahhhh....

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twinklesmiles

@-Twinkles-

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#36

ENTRY NO: 17

DUO discussing about Freddy - Vivek conversation ...in the meantime Vivek is busy with someone on the phone ...

Daya - yeh kya kehe rahe ho Abhijeet....?? 😲Mujhe aekeen nahin ho raha

Abhijeet - aekeen tho mujhe bhi nahin ho raha Daya... per maine khud suna Freddy ko Vivek se baat kartein hua...

Daya - bosss...mujhe lagta hai ki kuch gadbaad hai... !!

Abhijeet - haan Daya ..per kya hosakta haan...❓

Vivek is too busy with a someone on the phone call.. he too seems to be sad ..

(Just then ACP Sir comes in ...he seems to be busy with a file, so he didn't bother to look at anyone around... DUO and Vivek wish good evening to ACP who just return back with a nod ACP asks VIvek about Freddy Vivek replies and says Freddy is on his way to bureau.. he may be here soon ... nodding his head, ACP goes into his cabin )

DUO watching everything in silence and trying to understand what's happening...

Abhijeet - dekha Daya, ACP Sir humare taraaf dekha bhi nahin ...aur aate hi Freddy keliya puch rahe hai...😒

Daya - mujhe kuch samajmay nahi araha.. 🤔 pata nahin aaj ho kya gayya ACP Sir ko..humme dekha bhi nahin.. aur itne jaldi main...😕

( just then Freddy enters in wearing a suit .... as soon as he enters, very happily he reaches Daya's hand )

Freddy - Sir, aaj main bahaut kush ho....!! 😎 aapko tho mujhe congratulate karna chaheya ..😃

Daya ( Slightly confused , but still manages to smile and reply Freddy ) - ha Freddy...congratulations..!! 😳

Abhijeet - ACP Sir tumhare intezaar kar rahe hai Freddy...

(before Abhijeet completes his sentence ACP comes out from his cabin..

ACP - aach hua ki tum time se pehle aagayye.. warna humme dheer hojatta.... and turns to Vivek and ask about the table reservation

Vivek - ji Sir... jaisa aapne kaha mainne aapke aur Freddy Sir keliya, Hotel Rainbow main table number : 6 reserve karva liya ... aap baas aapna reference de dena unloggon ko ...

ACP - good job Vivek... tho challe Freddy .. 😊

Freddy - ji Sir... dinner ke liya humme kabhi dheer nahin karna chaheye..

ACP with a sweet smile - aaj main tumhare batoon ka buran nahin manoga... Later he turns to DUO

Abhijeet tum aur Daya Rajender ke bhai per nazaar rakoo... aur Vivek tum mobile company se pata karo ke marne se pehle Rajender kisse baat kar raha tha .... main aur Freddy bas 2 gantee main wapis ajayenge.😊

DUO - ji Sir...duo exchange glances with confusion 🤓 DUO and Vivek trying hard to understand what made ACP Sir to choose Freddy and befriend him so specially for the day ... and why not anyone of them ...?

Freddy is happy to win ACP's attention for the day and proudly leaves the bureau with a Colgate smile...😃

Next Day at the forensic lab...

Tarika - Good morning Freddy.. sunna hai kal raat aap ACP Sir ke saat DINNER per gayye ...😛

Freddy - hahaha Dr.Tarika.... 😆aap bhi man gayye ki kaal raat ACP Sir mujhe DINNER ke liya invite kiya...

Tarika - Kya matlab hai Freddy... aap kya keh rahe ho...

Freddy - Actually Dr.Tarika... baat eh hai ki ACP Sir ko pata chala ki Ravinderji ke bhai aur business partner donno milkar hire(diamonds) ke smuggling kar rahe he ... aur shayaad isse wajah se Ravinder ka khoon hua hoga ... Kaal mujhe investgation main eh pata chala ki enke saath koyi theesra bhi mila hua hai.. jho kaal raat Hotel Rainbow main Vikram ke saath koyi deal karne aayya tha...

woh kaun hai eh janne keliye ACP Sir aur main Business dealers ke bhees main Hotel main dinner karne keliya gayye the .... eh mera hi plan tha.. ACP Sir mujhse bahaut kush hue the... 😃

Mainne Abhijeet Sir ko, Daya Sir aur Vivek ko eh puri baat nahin batayeee... sirf ACP Sir ke saath mere Dinner ke baat baataee thi... teeno humesha mera tag keechne ke koyi mauka nahi chodthe.. is baar mujhe chance mila hai...😈 tho mainne une pareshaan karne ke liye puri baat nahin batayya 😉 jab unhe pata chalega... tho unhe Freddy ka jatka zaroor se lagega 😆

Edited by twinklelovesCID - 14 years ago

Quote

neeme

@neeme

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#37

Entry 18

SEEN1:

Abhijeet to Daya:

Abhijeet: Lo,,,issi ki kami the, tabi ma sochon itna dino sa ACP sir freddy ko itni importance kyun da raha han..

Daya: iss ka matlab!.😲.....(Abhijeet gives him strange look) had hoti ha, itna dino sa ACP Sir hans hans kar kis sa baten karta tha ab pata chala.

Abhijeet: baton tak tu jo tha so tha😳ab tu Flowers aur love card b ana laga han.aur freddy iss sab ma shamil ha ACP Sir k sath.

Daya: Boss,,pata lagana para gaa iss sa pala kssi aur ko pata chala,aur CID ki badnami ho,huma sara mamla ka pata lagana para gaa.

Abhijeet: itni mehanat karna ki zarorat nai ha Daya,yah freddy ha naa.issi sa sab pata chala gaa.

Daya: han boss...issi ko sab pata ha...Ma dakta hon

Abhijeet: nai Daya ajj nahen...freddy ko shak ho jaya gaa.kal kssi tarhan pochna.

SEEN2: Next day,In bearue everyone was there, Freddy enter in beaure wearing suit and with very happy mood.

Abhijeet and Daya both looks at each other...

Abhijeet: yah fredy ajj suit kyun pehan kar ayea ha...

Daya: kahen.....

Abhijeet:lagta ha baat hmara hath sa nikal gai ha.😕

Daya: han lagta ha ajj baat nai barrat ki bari ha....per kuch tu karna para ga.ma iss freddy sa baat kar k dakhta hon.

(Daya went towards freddy and said)

Daya: kye baat ha freddy ajj bht kush lag raha ho.new suit pehna ha.😃 Anniversary ha kye..Congratulations yar....😊

(Daya said this shaking hands with freddy)

Freddy: nai Sir .wo baat nai ha. baat tu kuch aur haa.Per ma app ko nai bta sakta.

Daya: kye yar freddy assi kye baat ha jo tum muja nai bta sakta..😕

freddy: Array sir thora intazar karen .Ap ko tu kye sab ko pata chal jaya gaa.😉 bs sir ma ab aur kuch nai kah sakta ACP Sir na ksi b CID Officer ko btana sa mana kye ha.

(Freddy leaves and Daya gives a strange and supicious look to Abhijeet)

Abhijeet:CID Officer ko btana sa mana kye ha na..Forensic doctor ko tu nahen....

SEEN3:

Fredy enterd in forensic lab..

Fredy: Array....Dr.Tarika app akali han lab ma.Dr,Sarluka kahen han.

Tarika: wo aik aur lab ma gaya han aik kas test karna.

Freddy: kas test..per kis lyea,ajj tu koi case b nai ayea😲

Tarika: wo..wo...ACP Sir kuch ajeeb sa behave kar raha han na ajj kal..tu DR.Sarluka ko un pa shak ho gaya ha.wo ussi ka pata lagana gaya han.wasa fredy tuma kuch malom ha iss bara ma.....Per tuma kye pata ho ga,ACP Sir na tu Abhijeet aur Daya ko kuch nai btya tu tuma kahen btya ho ga,ma b na kye kye sochti hon..🤔

freddy:Array ap naa muja kye smj raka ha Dr.Tarika..jo baat ACP Sir ksi ko nai btata wo muja btata han.

Tarika: Array, kye fredy tuma.....freddy tum b na...

Freddy:pata ha muja kab sa pate ma dard ho raha ha.per ACP Sir na ksi b CID officer ko btana sa mana kye ha iss lyea ma bta nai sakta.

Tarika:per ma tu Cid Officer nai hon

Freddy:Han ! ap tu Forensic Doctor han app ko tu bta sakta hon😊.per Ap Dr.Sarluka ko kuch na batana.wo tu ACP Sir ko bta dan ga.per ma pit jaion gaa.

Tarika:Array nai nai freddy ma nai bation gii, tum batio muja

Freddy:Ajj Cid officer Asha doobara CID Mumbai join karna k lyea aye rai han....ACP Sir sab ko surprise dana wala han.tabi kssi ko nai btya sirf muja batya ha....😃

Edited by neeme - 14 years ago

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cid_duo

@cid_duo

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#38

This is my first attempt and i wrote dis for a special person......

ENTRY 19

scene 1; in Abhijeet's home

Abhijeet and Daya

Abhijeet: in sad mood😭 yaar Daya mujhe ab tak ykeen nhi ho rha ki yeh sach hai.

Daya: Abhijeet ab koi kya kr sakta hai.Please tum aise upset mt hoyo.

Abhijeet: lekin daya aisi kya baat ho gyi jo Tarika ne yaha se jaane ka faisla kr liya or kisi ko
bataya tak nhi..

Daya: ha Abhijeet vhi to main soch rha hu.. hamari chodo usne to tumhe batana v jaruri nhi samjha. bs chupchap apni transfer krva li....

Abhijeet: vaise kb ja rhi hai.. tum to ja rhe ho no airport une chodne.

Daya: kal unki flight hai.. kyon tum nhi ja rhe😕

Abhijeet: Nhi main nhi jaa paunga😭😭

Scene-2

Next day,In bearue, Freddy enter in beaure wearing suit and with very happy mood.

(Daya went towards freddy and said)

Daya: Freddy yeh kya tum itne happy mood main... yahan har koi Dr. Tarika ke janne se preshan hai...or tum . Abhijeet kya sochega...

Freddy: sorry sir, vo actually maine socha ke hum sub agar sad mood se Dr. Tarika ko chodne jayenge to vo bhut dukhi ho jayengi. is liye main happy hone ka naatak kr rha hu or yeh suit pehna hai...

Daya: acha vo to theek hai lekin Abhijeet ko bhut bura lagega..vo sochega ki tum Tarika ke jane se bhut khus ho...

Freddy: nhi sir, mujhe Abhijeet sir ke liye bhut afsos hai😭..

Daya: acha theek hai.. tum ghar ja ke pehle apna suit change kro or fir Lab se Dr. Tarika ko lekar airport phuncho ...hum sab tumara vhi wait krenge..

Freddy: ok sir

Scene 3: in Forensic Lab:

Tarika: are Freddy tum jaha, aaj to koi case hai nhi..

Freddy: are Dr. Tarika main apko airport lejane ke liye aaya hun..aapka bag khan hai..or Dr. Salunke kha hai...

Tarika: Dr. Salunke kisi kaam se bahar gye hai. airport..... mera bag😕 lekin kyon, .....

Freddy: aap aaj ja rhi hai..is liye...

Taika:(a bit surprised) Freddy main ja rhi hu or mujhe pta nhi..

Freddy: kya aapki transfer nhi hui..

Tarika: Nhi, Freddy tum kya keh rhe ho?????????

Freddy: Daya sir or Dr. Salunke ne hum sb se kha ki aap ne khud apni transfer Delhi ki krva li hai...

Tarika: kya Daya or Dr. Salunke ne aisa kha...

Freddy: han Dr. Tarika ...vechare Abhijeet Sir uno ne jab de yeh news suni ho vo bhut dukhi hai😭😭...apse baat v nhi krna chahte...

Tarika:(shocked) kya... is liye Abhijeet mera phone v nhi utha rha..

Tarika : ohhhhh........ accha ab main samjhi 😆😆😆😆

Freddy: Dr. Tarika kya hua aap itna has kyun rhi hai...

Tarika: Freddy, maine koi apni transfer nhi krvai..

Freddy: to fir Daya Sir ne hum sb se aisa kyun kha hai...

Tarika: Freddy aaj date kya hai....

Freddy: Ist April😲😲

oh iska matlab Daya sir or Dr. Salunke ne hum sb ko APRIL FOOL banaya hai..

😆😆😆😆😆

Edited by Shivani24 - 14 years ago