Write a scene contest - RESULTS ON PG11

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astonish

@astonish

Sparkler

Posted: 14 years ago

#11

Entry - 4

My 1st attempt for writing a scene....

Disclaimer: The content in this scene is just for fun. I am sorry if i hurt someone's feelings.

Abhijeet: Arey yaar daya.. tarika ji nahi aayi aaj...

Daya: Abhijeet... tumhe nahi pata.... tarika ji aaj kyon nahi aayi....!!!😲

Abhijeet: Nahi yaar.... tumhe pata hai kya?

Daya: Abhijeet ... kal tarika ji ki shaadi hai.... mujhe laga tumhe pata hoga😕

Abhijeet: KYA 😕 😡😭 Aisa nahi ho saktha... chalo mere saath

At Tarika's house

Daya: Pavan... arey abhijeet... yeah toh pavan hai..shayad isi se shaadi kar rahi hai... tarika ji....

Abhijeet: Tum...Jaanthe ho ise....??

Daya: Haan...Yaad nahi tumhe... maine pechle baar jab party di thi....yeh bhi aaya tha... bechaara...taarika ji ko dekhthe hi unpe lattu ho gaya

Abhijeet: Chalo daya yaahan se... 😭

Leaves the place... next day

Daya: Plan success freddie... 😃

Freddie: Haan sir.... Main toh itna khush hoon... dekhiye... ek dum tayaar hoon tarika ji ki shaadi mein jaane ke liye... ek bada sa present bhi liya hai maine .. Aap nahi aare sir???

Daya: Nahi freddie... main abhijeet ke saath yahaan bureau mein hi rukoonga... use tarika ji ko bhoolne mein thoda time toh lagega... lekin hume humaara purana abhijeet waapas mil jaayega

Freddie: Arey taarika ji aap.... kahaan thi aap itne din??? sab theek toh hai na.....humne aap ko kitna dhoonda...aapke shaadi mein bada sa present lekar aaya tha mai...lekin aap toh aayi hi nahi

Tarika: Haan freddie... Mai ji se shaadi karna chahthi thi woh toh aaye hi nahi..isliye mai wahaan se bhaag gayi

Freddie: hmm......mujhe pehle se hi lag raha tha...ki aap pavan se shaadi kar hi nahi sakthi.....

Tarika: Haan freddie... mein toh daya ka intezaar kar rahi thi..lekin woh aaye hi nahi

Freddie: KYA !!!!!DAYA SIR!!! ya ABHIJEET SIR?????😲

Tarika: Haan freddie.....apna sab kaam chod chad kar..... pavan jaise ache ladke dhoond rahe hai tumhaare daya sir mere liye.... Itne acche insaan ko saamne rakhkar mein aur kisi se shaadi kaise kar sakthi hoon..... 😆😆😆

Edited by astonish - 14 years ago

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anonymous7

@anonymous7

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#12

ENRTY 5

SCENE : 1

Daya & Abhijit In The Bureau, looking at Fredericks

Daya : Boss.

Abhijit : Haan Daya!

Daya : Boss, kya tum wohi soch rahe ho jo main soch raha hoon?

Abhijit : Haan, Daya. Mamla to idhar...............

Daya : Gadbad lag rahi hain.

Abhijit : Jis baat ki darr thi shayad wohi hone wala hain!

Daya : Aise dress ka matlab to ek hi ho sakte hain.

Abhijit : Mujhe abhi bhi biswas hi nahi ho raha!

Daya : ACP sab ka dimaag ko thik hain na?

Abhijit : Pata nahin.

Daya : Na jaane aj kiski mukh dekhakar aayi thi yaahan pe!

Abhijit : yeh din bhi dekhna pada!

Daya : Chalo Boss, aage chalkar dekhte hain.

SCENE : 2

Daya coming near Fredericks

Daya : hello, freddy!

Freddy : Are sir aap? aap kab aaye?

Daya : Bas abhi abhi aaya hun. Tumhara aaj yeh naya avatar kisliye?

Freddy : Nayi avatar, sir?

Daya : Are aaj tum yeah suit pehen kar aayi ho! Anniversary hain kya?

Freddy : Nahin Sir, aise baat nahin hain.

Daya : Toh phir kaisi baat hain?

Freddy : Sir, Jaane dijiye na!

Daya : are tum hume nahin bata rahe ho?

Freddy : Sir, chhoriye na!

Daya : kahin tumhari..................promotion to huyi nahin?

Freddy : Ab kya batayu sir, aisa hi huya hain!

Daya : Kya???? Kab hua?

Freddy : ACP sir ne kuch der pehle hi batch de di mujhe.

Daya : toh............ congrats, Sr. Insp. Fredericks!

shaking hands

Freddy : are sir, chodiye! yeh koi baat hui?

Daya : yeh bohot badi baat hain freddy, aur haan, ab tum mujhe sir bulana chod do.

Freddy : Sir.... i mean Daya.......sir.......matlab........... Daya sir!!!!!! uff!!!! chodiye! main aapko sir hi kahunga! itni ssal ke aadat jo hain.

Daya : Chodo....... waise bhabi ko subh samachar siya hain to ?

Freddy : abhi tok nahin, aaj sam ko restaurant me wife ko leke jaunga, aur wohi pe subh samachar dunga.

Daya : Ab to Party banti hain na, Freddy!

SCENE : 3

Later in forensic lab (freddy has changed his dress because of sultry weather, bureau AC machine not working properly 😆😆😆)

Freddy : Tarikaji! Aaj pata hain kya huan hain!

Tarika : nahin! kya hua??

Freddy : aaj mera promotion hua hain! itni saalo baad! ab main apke Abhijit jaise ek Sr. Insp. hun!!!

Tarika : yeh toh bohot achchhi baat hain! waise Abhijit jaise banna thoda muskil hain!

Freddy : Woh toh hain! apko pata hain, mere wife kitne khush hongi? main aj sham ko usko batane waale hun!

Tarika : Best of luck, Freddy!

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neeme

@neeme

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#13

Entry 6

(Daya and Abhijeet both are on the way of ACP house.they was expecting their promotion announcement.About which ACP Sir was told him about 2days back)

SEEN1:

Both enterd in ACP house.Freddy was also their..ACP tell him about his promotion..That he is becoming new ACP .its DCP Sir decision;

ACP:freddy tum jald hi new ACP bn jaio gaa ab tuma ACP hona ki sari zimadariyan nibana sikna ho ga..jab tak tum na seeko ma b apni zimadari nai chor sakta as ACP.

Freddy: Sir, yakeen nai aye raha.ma…ma ACP bnana wala hon..😕

(Daya and Abhijeet listen this all conversation and watch this with strange and angry look.)

(Both leave from there without saying single word ..)

Abhijeet:freddy aur ACP,ma kabi b usa Sir kah ka nai pukaron gaa.Ma kabi usa ACP k roop ma swikar nai kar sakta.😡

Daya: DCP sir hum sa asa dusmani nikalen gaa.kabi socha nai tha boss…But ab jo b haa CID ma tu rahana ha......(Abhijeet gives him angry look)…Daya stops talking…

SEEN2:

Next day, freddy enters in bearue wearing Black suit.Daya welcome him as a new ACP.

Daya: Welcome Sir! Good morning.i am very happy to see u as new ACP Sir.(he said this while shaking hands with him).u really deserve this post.

SEEN3:

To find the report of some xyz case,fredy went to forensic lab and only tarrika was there.

Tarika: welcome new ACP, Fredriks .Congratulations..

Freddy:starts laughing!Array…Dr,Tarika.app b ullo bn gaien…

Tarika: kye Matlab!

Fredy:Promotion tu Abhijeet aur Daya Sir ka hue ha…Ma aur ACP sir tu wasa mazak kar raha tha k ager ma ACP bnta tu ACP Sir muj sa kye kahta.yah sun ka Abhijeet and daya Sir wahen sa chala gaya.yah smj ka ma ACP..(he start laughing again loudly).😆 Muja b mazak suja ACP sir k Dehli meeting jana k fayda uttaya.…aur tori dar ACP bnana ki acting ki bearue ma...sab ko ullo bnaya..sab mera ullo bnata han humesha…ab sab ko pata chala gaa k freddy kye cheez ha…haha

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visrom

@visrom

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#14

My idea seems to have been taken....will try something else.

Hmmm...

Entry no : 7

Daya: Abhijeet.....is Freddie ko aaj kya hua? Humare aane se pehle hi aa gaya?

Abhijeet: Pata nahin....maine isko in 13 saalon mein time par bureau aate hue nahin dekha.

Daya; Arey Freddie, Good morning....tum itni jaldi aa gaye? Aur yeh kya pehen rakha hai? Coat?

Freddie: Sir, aapne Nayak film dekha hai? Usme Anil Kapoor ek din ke liye CM ban jaata hai. Aaj ACP sir ne mujhe bhi ek din ka ACP bana diya hai.

Daya: Yeh toh bohot achchi baat hai Freddie (SIR). Ab aap kya karne wale hain ek din mein?

Freddie: Aap forensic lab chaliye sir....nahin Forensic lab chalo Daya.

Tarika: Arey Freddie sir, aap?

Freddie: Haan main. Aaj main yahan ka ACP hoon. Aap is waqt kya kar rahi hain?

Tarika: Main laash ka post mortem kar rahi hoon sir.

Freddie: Aapka lab coat kahan hai?

Tarika: Sir, us doosre room mein hai sir.

Freddie goes to the other room, checks and finds the coat hanging on top of a treadmill.

Freddie: Aapne forensic lab ka rule follow nahin kiya.,Bina lab coat pehne aap post mortem kar rahi hain. Forensic lab ko gym bana rakha hai aapne. (turns back to Abhijeet who is standing with laptop and printer)

Abhijeet, type karo!

Abhijeet: Kya Freddie sir?

Freddie: Inka suspension order!!!

Edited by visrom - 14 years ago

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gadhadada

@gadhadada

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#15

hey VISROM DII.....

i hv THREE queries reagrd to WRITE a SCENE CONTEST....

1) how could i write text wid pic.... coz pics tou copy hee nahi ho rahen... so how could i paste them with dialogue???/

2) could any participant send more than one entry???

3) DII.... so sorry... but if it is a contest.... so why U revealed the name of the contestant so earlier???

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visrom

@visrom

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#16

Replied on first post of this thread. Everyone please read the first post.

Thank you.

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gadhadada

@gadhadada

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#17

THANK YOU DII

but the first n 2nd pic is not working.... only 3rd pic is working.... plz chk it....

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visrom

@visrom

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#18

I have posted my entry on page 2. I faced no probs....try after some time or check internet connection.

Edited by visrom - 14 years ago

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gadhadada

@gadhadada

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#19

ok....

so sorry to bothering U dii....
i'll chk it....

thanx alot

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promise.c

@promise.c

Beginner

Posted: 14 years ago

#20

Hi, I am Promise. This is my 1st try😊

ENTRY - 8

1st scene:

Abhijeet's Home

Daya: kiya hai Abhijeet subhe subhe mujay kiu bulaya? Aaj valentine day haai yaar kaam se kaam aaj to mujhe der taak sonay detay.🥱

Abhijeet: kiya haay yaar tumhe sonay ki parhi haai? Aur kaal raat say mujhe nid nehi aay rahi haain. 😕

Daya: kiyu phir se koi darawana sapna aay raha hai kiya? iya phir ACP saab ki daat yiwaad aay raha hai.😲

Abhijeet: Tumhe ish ki elava kuch sujh te nehi hai kiya? Tum bhi na yaar.😳

Daya: Blush kaar rahay ho??? Boss mamla kiya haai?

Abhijeet: Soch raha hu ki ishbaar tarika ji ko propose kaar hi dunga. ish liye torha tension me hu yaar. Daya mere saath chalo na yaar unke liye kuch gift v karid na haai.

Daya: " All the Best " yaar. Finally tum kuch ahccha kaam kar rahe ho.😃

Abhijeet: But please yaar abhi kishiko nehi pata chalna chaiye.

Daya: Don't worry boss.

2nd Scene:

CID Beauro

Daya: kiya bhaat hain fredy aaj suit maye?

Fredy: Sir wife ko promise kiya tha ki aaj usko Marriot me dinner kar ne ke liye le ke jayunga. To woo mujhe puchha " gentleman's promise"?To may usay repy nehi diya byaas suit pahenke gentleman baan gaya.

Daya: Tum bhi na Fredy!😃. To tum aaj bhaabi ko leke ja rahe ho ya nehi?

Fredy: Jana to parega sir. Nehi to wife maike chalye jaye gi...aur wasye bhi wife ko kiya huwa wada to nivana parega.

Daya: wow baat to haai. Paar jane se pahele ek important kaam v kaarna haai. Saab ko phone kaar aaj syaam ko forensic lab may bulana. News channel wale ko bhi bula lay na. Aur Tarika ji ko bol na ki aaj jaldi hi ghaar chalye jaye nehi to problem ho jaye ga...

Fredy: kiyu sir, haam sabh rahye te huye tarika ji ka kiya problem ko sakhta haai. Khaas kaar ke Abhijeet sir hai na unki protection ke liye. Aur sir, news channel wale ko kiyu bula rahay ho sir? Mera wife ke saath Marriot jane ka news dene ke liye?

Daya: Aray nehi Fredy iye problem hum solve nehi kaar saakte. Aur Abhijeet se hi iye problem suru huya...

Fredy: Kiya bhaat kaar rahe ho sir? Phir se Abhijeet sir kaa dimag ka problem ho gaya kiya?

Daya: Ish baar dimaak ka nehi dil ka problem huya haai.😃

Fredy: Aray baap re dil ka problem. Tab to kuch bhi ho sakta haai . May abhi jata hu sir Tarika ji ko inform karne.

Daya: (himself) Abh aye ga maja. Itni ashani se propose kaar diya to maja kiya haai. wo pyaar kiya jo mushibaat se na gujhre.

Scene 3:

(Forensic lab)

Fredy : (himself) Aaray yehay forensic lab ko saja ya kisne wo bhi itne saray ballon de ke. Aacha hi huya idaar se may bhi ek ballon lay lunga wife ke liye. Wife khush ho jaye gi. Usay pahele Tarika ji ko sabdhaan kaar na hoga. Abhijeet sir ke saathi kiyu asiya hota. Pata nehi ish baar wo kiya karega. Dil ka bimarhi ho ne se kiya woo cid may rahay payega? Dimaag ka bimarhi se wo humlog ko pahechaan nehi pa rahe the aur dil ke bimari se agar...

Tarika: Aaray Fredy maan he maan me kiya baak rahe ho?

Fredy: 😕 Tarika ji aap jaldi ghaar chala jai ye. Malum haai Abhijeet sir phir se bimaar ho gaya. Ish baar usay dil ki bimari huya haai. kiya ho gaa sir ko.

Tarika: Mujhe malum haai Fredy. Ishi liye to may unkaa intezaar kaar rahi hu.😳. By the way Fredy aaj lab ka sajawaat kaisa haai?

Fredy: Lab to bohut achha laag raha haai. Paar aap kiyu Abhijeet sir ka intezaar kaar rahe ho. Sir to bimaar haai. Kuch bhi kaar sakta haai. Daya sir aap ko jaldi jane ke liye bol diya. Aaj Shyaam ko wo prees wale ko bhi bulaya haai.

Tarika: Kiya Daya sir press wale ko bulaya taab to aaj pyaar ka izaar kaar hi deti hu." lo aaj may kahayti hu..."

Fredy: Iye ho kiya raha haai? Mujhe to kuch samaj main nehi aah raha haai..

Tarika: Fredy, Abhijeet ka dil ka ilaz karna jaruri haai iya nehi?

Fredy: Jaruri haai. ACP saab ko pata laag ne pahelei Sir thik ho jaye to achha haai.

Tarika: To maain tumarhe sir ka dil ka ilaz kaar saakti hu.

Fredy: Aap? Aap to forensic doctor ho?

Tarika: Fredy Abhijeet ka dil ka ilaz srif main hi kaar sakti hu.

Fredy: wo kaiyse?

Tarika: Kiu ki Abhijeet ka dil merhe liye hi behaal haai.😳

Fredy: oho aab samajh me aya.😛 To abhi aap kiya karo ge?

Tarika: Daya ne to saab bula hi liya. Aab may pandit ji ko bula leti hu. Aur national television maain aaj usay "barmala" pahena deti hu.

Fredy: Aray Rakhi Sawant ke siwambaar aur Rahul dulaniya le janay ki baad National Televion may aab Hamare Abhijeet Sir ka Shaadi hogi. Main abhi mere wife ko yeah news deta hu.😃