STORY CONTEST- 2(CASE OF THE MYSTERIOUS KIDNAPPER) - Page 46

@ Visrom thanks. I know I have to work on my presentation part. Thanks for letting me know where you got confused. and that code was CI.D. (D with slash in middle). Among my all stories I like code one story a lot personally.

and about this story how I eventually landed to this story as soon as I read plot given by you first thing in my mind was this person is ACP and at any cost he has do this task and Abhijeet will arrest him. Now why would he do and why would Abhijeet arrest him just justify this statements and I am through story. actually your plot made be think this.

Ok soon analysis of other stories as well story 3 and 6 already done.


@ shreela and sneha thanks.

I am waiting for my turn Sunny and visrom

Story No. 8 . Already not to mention galat kidnapping ho gayi.

Scenes I liked
ACP: accha? Jao jaa media ko bhi yehi jawab dena, Aur haan Phanse saab yehi batana Jao Jao Daya (Daya looks down) Ab zameen mein mooh gada kar kya khade ho? Jao Ja kar sabooth dhoodneki koshish karo


loved Vivek's dialogue to Ramchand
Vivek: yes sir (goes to Ramchand) dekho ramchand humare freddy sir bahut pareshan hain, upar se pressure bhi bahut hain tho tum chup chap bata do warna tumhe fasva denge, soch lo inn bade logon ke chakaron mein tum fas jaoge tumhare malik tumhe sazza denge so alag


Phanse's dialogue (he also fears from his wife) to Abhijeet and then Daya get angry
Phanse: koshish? Kya karu main tumhari koshish ka acchar dalu? Kya jawab do meri biwi ko? Lagta hain tumhe apni naukri pyari nai hain Sr. Insp Abhijeet ya opposition se paise liye hain tumne


Scene where dead body of Shekhar is found wonderful


I enjoyed this scene
Sachin: Sir'..(tries to stop Daya)
Daya: (waves a hand to stop him) further dialogue is there.

and last scene wonderful and sweet scene. story was fast which I liked a lot.


Just one advice I like you killed Shekar then in next scene raaz khul gaya. In scene 5 you killed and scene 6 you tell that body is not of shekhar. suspense ko jitni zada der tak rakhoge story utni acchi hogi.

I am not telling you to increase length. I am telling you usse thodi jaldi mar dete. Actually mean suspense create and suspense open mein thoda difference ho scenes ka to achha hota hai. Reader remain anxious.

thanx you buddy jus love you for this detailed analysis. I will try to keep this in mid while writing the next story.

Ok Let me start with review of story number 8...It was one of the most matured story in contest ..A short and Lovely one...It has a logic to bring the truth of politician in front of everyone(As Name and Job of writer suggests 😆).. It was short but i bet Writer would have to done a lot of hard work and showed dedication towards work while writing this,..Yup now lets take some snapshots of story:-

As apne starting main he likh diya Politician ke bete ka aparhan hoya hain, (according to plot should be politician) I got excited that something extra ordinary going to happen..I was like ab bete ke baad baap ka bhi kidnap hoga... Agar aisa hota ton aur bhi maza atta but still It was one of matured and classic ones for me... 😊

I like some of dialogues in the starting bureau Scene

ACP: accha? Jao jaa media ko bhi yehi jawab dena, Aur haan Phanse saab yehi batana Jao Jao Daya (Daya looks down) Ab zameen mein mooh gada kar kya khade ho? Jao Ja kar sabooth dhoodneki koshish karo
I was imagining ACP Sir speaking this dialogue... and if someone after reading story start to imagine that thing in real..what could be better prize for writer??

Freddy: accha toh tumhe kuch nai pata
Ramchand: nai
Freddy: thek hain, vivek tumhe pata hain naa kya karna hain
Vivek : arree nai nai sir please aisa mat kijiye
Freddy: tumse jo kehta hoon wahi karo samhje?

I just loved this part..I always Imagined abhi-daya doing this but freddy and Vivek oh dear!! you shocked me totally but i would love to bear this shock again and again...kudos for this part 👏

Phanse: koshish? Kya karu main tumhari koshish ka acchar dalu? Kya jawab do meri biwi ko? Lagta hain tumhe apni naukri pyari nai hain Sr. Insp Abhijeet ya opposition se paise liye hain tumne

This part had some spicy discussion .. moreover, thing to look for was Daya's anger (as he was talking disrespectfully with abhijeet) and the way abhijeet was saying him to control..waah kya body language hogi dono ki..soch kar maza agaya...dekhkar ton main behosh he ho jaoga..Very well done Writer...

Last part was very well presented ..but agar Suspense ka issue(as Sunny Said) thora thik ho jata ton, kya baat thi..but never the less It was one of the best and creative one for me..I really enjoyed reading this story and I would show no mercy on my eyes to make the pair(eyes) read this type of work again and again..Kudos to writer and congrats...best of luck for next time..you are taking alot of experience with you and that is the biggest thing one can own ...

really sweet comments bro thanx, its really great to read this acclaim as well as criticism. The best part of this forums, the members and this contest we not only put forth our works but also learn a lot from each other I sincerely thank both you bhinder and sunny for letting me know where I actually lack. Next time I will try my level best improve on this. God bless you both.

Okay heres my experience of participating in the story contest:

I've always been avoiding writing full-length CID stories, as my hindi is not very good. I'm used to writing stories in English, but this was something new. So, when Visrom announced the 2nd story contest, I was a little hesitant in the beginning. But then my college had just got over and I was pretty jobless. And, my exams were going on during story contest-1. So, I thought, "Okay let me try" this time. I wasnt at all thinking about winning or losing. I just had to write a story in hindi and that was all I was concentrating on.

And then when Visrom gave the plot, I immediately thought of my story's plot in my mind. I was sure that ACP was gonna get kidnapped in place of the politician. But, how the whole investigation procedure carried on, came along as I wrote. I used to write a little bit of the story everyday and then check and cross-check for mistakes. And then I think I was one of the first people to finish writing. So, after checking one last time, I crossed my fingers and submitted it.

I didnt really think anyone would like my story. I didnt have any expectations from it. So, I was very excited when people started giving good reviews for it. So, it really was very encouraging. Thanks again everyone for the reviews.

But, at one point of the story I was totally stuck. My actual plan was to make ACP leave a trail for the team. But, then I thought it'll become complicated. So, I just went for the more usual investigation procedure. But, now when I read Sunny and Bhavana's review of my story and how they felt that ACP should have told someone about his plan, I think my actual plan would've worked better.

But, the decision of ACP not telling anyone about the plan was a concious one. I felt that if ACP did tell his plan to anyone from the team, they surely wouldnt agree to let him do it, as it means risking his life. So, I thought it's better that ACP doesnt tell anyone...

Anyways, right when the stories got posted, I fell sick. So, couldnt read the stories fast. I read slowly at my own pace. But, all along I knew that 3 and 4 were the best ones. I was actually wondering if these two would get tied. But, after that, I wasnt sure who would win the 3rd place. The remaining stories were all so good. It was hard to tell. I like many stories apart from 3 and 4... 6, 9, 10...

But, anyways, even the results were really close. So, I think everyone is a winner 👍🏼 And I'm actually very happy with my rating 😊 Thanks everyone... Now, I'm a little more confident about my hindi story writing skills. Will definitely try to do better next time.