1. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife
2. I can't come tonight, my tires got dizzy...
3. I invented the cordless extension cord
4. I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
5. The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with
6. I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own
7. I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup
8. I must confess, I was born at a very early age
9. Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
10. I don't like to repeat things, so listen carefully the first six times
11. We'd better get outta here, I think I hear one of those silent alarms
12. They speak of my drinking but they never consider my thirst
13. It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man
14. Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics
15. Stupid statistics cost american companies 30 zillion dollars each year
16. Moblie phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest
17. I never appoligize! I'm sorry, that's just not the way I am
18. She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon
19. After working here, I now realize that "Dilbert" is not a comic strip. It's a documentary
20. Be a Minimalist. It's the least you can do
21. If you dont like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk
22. Time flies like the wind; fruit flies like bananas
23. Only in America do they buy a double cheese burger, large fries and a DIET COKE
24. Earth first. We'll ***** up the other planets later
25. The only reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live
26. I like my steak so rare that when you poke it, it still says mooooo
27. Beer: helping ugly people get laid since 1823
28. The height of laziness is a man is shitting on the beach and waiting for the tide
29. When it comes to baldness, it's not about losing more hair, it's about getting more head
30. Next time wave all your fingers at me!
31. We don't have a town drunk. We all share the responsibilty
32. Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised
33. Men are like roses, you got to watch out for all the pricks
34. An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work
35. If my car was a horse, I would have to shoot it!
36. A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings
37. Haggis is a self cleaning meal. Leave it for a while and it will get up and walk away
38. Whoever said nothing's impossible never tried to slam a revolving door
39. Sure, there's no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
40. There are three types of economists. Those who can count, and those who can't
41. I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it
42. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
43. My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted
44. If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
45. I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it
46. Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss
47. Don't be open-minded, your brains might fall out
48. For all you who talk about me, thanks for making ME the center of YOUR world!
49. Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters
50. If electricty comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
😆😃
Book Talk
Anupamaa
