Baaraatis Anonymous
Thread 38
A Chat Club for the Bees to keep buzzzing...
The Great Escape
It just isn't my day today.
I have gone around, looking for someone, anyone, that would understand me, and give me what I wanted, but so far, I had only ended up traumatizing herself.
Honestly, this family was so weird.
If anyone in Delhi knew what went on behind the walls of Shantivan, they would either faint, or write a book on it and become a millionaire. Or do both.
I wandered over to the room of the woman-cries-a-lot. Honestly, that woman had a water tank on her head. There was no way that a woman her size could carry the amount of water in her body, that was required to cry at the drop of the hat, or the sight of it...or even the mention of it.
I didn't know why I was here. Honestly, what could I expect from the woman-who-likes-to-touch-everyone? But she did have a tendency to leave laddus are jalebis around, and I was in the mood for some of those!
"You're here!" the woman-who-is-surprised-at-everything said. "Oh god. I have been looking all over the house for you! Everyone else took aarti and prasad, except you! Do you know that this is the fifteenth time I had to give aarti to Devi Mayya just so that I could give it to you as well?"
I was pulled over and seated before I could even utter a sound. A mountain of kumkum was dumped on my forehead and the aarti plate was rotated around and around and around until I was dizzy.
But I perked up when she fed me a jalebi. Say what one will about this house, but they had one of the best jalebis ever!
Before I could savor my food-of-gods, I was pulled away from it to go do pradakshina around Devi-Mayya.
Hain, Devi-Mayya!
I managed to escape just in the nick of time, and enter the room of Naniji. She truly was such an inspiration.
At her age, she had the energy and power to bring the entire family to their knees, rather than fall on her knees every two minutes, like the woman-who-could-be-killed-by-a-cough. Not to mention, her thumkas were legendary.
What an inspiration.
"Oh, you are here," Naniji said, with a smile. "I was thinking about going to a satsang. I should take you with me. It will be great fun!"
My heart stopped at the mention of satsang. Every time I was around her satsang friends, I was pulled this way and that, my cheeks were pinched and my beauty fawned over. As fun as it was the first time, I worried that one of these days, they would pull my cheeks right off!
Abort Mission!
When she turned around to look for something, I slyly made my escape.
Not knowing where to go, I wandered over to the door of the newly married couple...one of he newly married couple, I should say. The less interesting one.
"Aakashji," Payal said, shyly.
"Payalji," Aakash replied, equally bashfully.
"Aakashji," she repeated, whispering this time, blushing.
"Payalji," he said, his voice sounding like that of a teenage boy who discovered sex for the first time.
"Aakashji," there was a definite note of coyness this time.
"Payalji."
Since they knew each other's names well enough, I had to decide that they must be doing something decidedly naughty. Peeking in, I was stunned to see what was happening.
They were sitting on the bed, five feet apart, pointing at their wedding album, and mentioning each other's name every time their picture came up, and blushing like school kids.
To use ASR's favorite line, completely, What the f**k!?
Shaking my head, I move away from there before I catch whatever it is that they are infected by. PPP perhaps? Permanent Prepubescent Personality must be it.
Needing a breath of fresh air, I walk over to the gardens, hoping that the other PPP wasn't around. Perpetually Pissed-off Personality, this time.
But luck just wasn't with me today.
"Khushi," he said, breathlessly, moving towards her.
"Arnavji," she replied, blushing.
But unlike his brother, ASR wasn't a man of many words...or a man of the same word, many times.
He was about to bend and catch her lips with his own, when I made the mistake of stumbling over one of this beloved potted plants.
"What the...!?" he asked, as Khushi pushed his away at he noise, looking around consciously.
He turned his angry glare towards me and I cowered away.
Making ASR angry was NOT a good thing. That man could fry and eat me away, literally.
I run away from there as quickly as I can, and sneak into Mamaji and Mami's room.
"Hello Hi Bye Bye," I hear mami say. "I need to buy new makeupiya, for the tripya. I will be back later-ya?"
She sashayed out of there, and I saw Mamaji hang his head in defeat.
"I cannot take this anymore," he said, quickly getting up and starting to pack a bag. "I need to leave before she comes back. She drowns me off my money now, with her makeup and shopping. Imagine taking her to the US, I would run out of money and have to end up working as a taxi driver!"
I can feel you, I think sympathetically.
He completes packing a bag, and turns around, only to stop in his tracks when he sees me.
"You might as well come with me," he offers. "I am sure you had enough of the family as well."
I make a gesture that I hope conveys a nod, and trail after him.
On our way out of the house, through the back door, bending behind bushes so that we remain unseen, we bump into a figure.
Mamaji and I exclaim in shock, and the other figure does the same.
Mamaji picks up his bag in both hand, presumably to knock the intruder over the head, but is stopped by the next words out of the intruder, who turns out to be XP, Xtra Prakash's mouth, "Honestly, I hate working here," he says, his hands raised. "They are so weird."*
Mamaji nods and brings the bags down. "You can come with us too," he offers, out of the goodness of his heart.
XP gives a smile filled with gratitude and follows us.
------------------
3 Years Later
------------------
"That's our 10th million, in the bank!" MR explains.
No, not Manohar Raizada. It's Michael Romero now.
"Truly, there is no one of your caliber," XP nods.
You guessed it right, it stands for Xavier Pablo now.
"I can't believe a reality show with you as our star could make us millionaires," MR says, in disbelief.
But I knew.
I knew that LTOLS, "Lacksmi takes over Los Angeles" would take over the world one day.
I lean back in my pool-side chair, aviators on, and sigh out a "Baaa" in contentment.
Life was good.
Originally posted by: Heavens_Flower
Ridz, I have a few request for closing the loop:
- What happened to Laxmiji
- What happened to the prakash brothers (each one of them but mainly I am interested in the X Prakash who faints during the Ooh La La song and the X Prakash who was there when Khushi plays blind folded hide and seek
- What happened to Mamaji in America that he could not get himself to Arnav Bitwa's wedding
I will update this further when I remember more...
Re Re...would you consider the loop closed? 😆
All jokes aside, thanks for welcoming me into the CC. I have been having loads of fun, with all you lovely people! 🤗
And even though that OS might have been utter crap, I hope it at least made you lot smile?
PS : The *...anyone get the Iron Man 3 reference? One of my favorite scenes!
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Presenting you with the bees that keep the lights on anytime of the day or night:
Expelliarmus - Juhi
1chilly - Charu
A_BA - Aami
Areeba_blossom - Areeba
Arshix144 - Mini
Arshi67 - Ruchi
ArnavBarun - Veena
...ASB100... - Asha
AzraZaidi - Azra
Bhavikakosambia - Dolly/ Bhavika
BlueMystique - Ridz
Bridgeofdreams - Shaimaa
Champsum - Sumaiya
Chokri_ASR - Jigs
Chotidesi - Choti
cineraria - Ria
Dev25 - Mani
esamoe - Raeesa
Heavens_Flower - Re Re
IOVENI - Nish
JforChimpanzee - JforChimpanzee
Kclovearshi - Kavi
Kiwikali - Kali
Kurinji - Kurinji
LooneyLuna - Luna
mem1 - Gita
MsDroolKanthan - Astha, not Shlock's though
Nooro - Noor
Pravillika - Asha
preethi.saseeda - Preethi
rith123 - Rithika
Rulama - Rashmi
Ssyahoo - Sami
Sarikaa97 - Sarikaa
Semanti - Semanti
shree10 - Shree
sj236 - Sur
Sman - Shailaja
sudhareddy - Sudha
Tinkleby - Maanasa
tomriddle - Yashi
tvpal007 - Cherry
vks11 - Sri
vandana.sagar - Vandana
***Apologize in advance if I may have missed anyone, please let me know and I will update. Also if you do not want your name listed, I can remove it as well...no pressure 😊
Some things to keep in mind (Thanks Juhi for the rules):
1) We are all friends here, so let's value each other's opinions, without personal judgments and comments. Step back if you need to...
2) Let's keep it clean, so no one has any need to come up creeping at our doorsteps, no being the basherz ya?
3) You probably don't want to share personal info here, that's what PM(s) are for ya?
Hoping someone in the group would get Shaadi-d during this thread! 😆
