Blossom-Two lives and One heart FF** completed and author's notepg 29 - Page 5

Created

Last reply

Replies

223

Views

18.9k

Users

15

Likes

691

Frequent Posters

sashashyam thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 8 years ago
#41
My dear Avantika,

You have every reason to be pleased with this chapter. It is not easy to portray gut-wrenching grief without becoming maudlin. You have managed it here. That is why I specially liked the part that I have put in bold, and in that, the part in bold italics is superb.

I was also glad that you did not mix this part up with other rasas, but limited it to shoka. That deepens its impact.

Shyamala Aunty

Originally posted by: Avantika1115

Chapter 4 -Silhouette of the past

It was a clear night illuminated by the glint of starlight and the radiance of a bright moon. At midnight, yellow beams of streetlight would peep into the invading darkness of Chandrasekhar's room, casting a myriad of shadows . He was lost in the thoughts of his late wife Dhara . Dhara died in the premeditated car accident planned by his arch enemy Mahanand - a Local Don. Chandra's father in law Vishnugupt and this Mahanand shared long enmity which was further aggravated when CHandrasekhar bought some government project going much against wishes of Mahanand. Don Mahanand only decides whom to take part in auction of government project and who will bid in it. Apart from this,he will supply his goons to various political parties as on when need arises.

Mahanand tried all possible means to keep Chandra away from securing the tender.Mahanand had promised Mr Shiv Pandey that he will get the project for Shiv.In return Shiv had promised Mahanand 5 crores as Supari.For sake of that Mahanand even tried to bribe Chandrasekhar . He tried various methods to stop him from getting the project.Our chandrasekhar did not gave him a damn and got the project. Mahanand 's anger was kindled . He wanted to punish Chandrasekhar for lifetime so he devised a plot. His plan was to crush Chandra in his own car by making to collide with a speeding lorry. It will look like an accident and no one can question him! But on that fated day,unknown to Mahanand, Dhara Chandra's wife took the car herself to attend some Family function leaving behind Dev and Chandrasekhar. Dev a.k.a Bindu was just 3 months old at that time.In an hour or so,Chandrasekhar mobile rang to say demise of his dear wife in the accident near RK colony.

Chandra recalled that day when she lay dead in his arms .Her face was partially marred

Time flooded through his fingers with no regard for his feelings. He wished he could just stop moving forwards and exist in that moment together. Not thinking. Not breathing. Just not apart. Can it be possible! He had to live at least for his son's sake.

Chandrasekhar took her photo from the side table and was touching her face. Dhara was happily smiling in that photo.His nostrils engulfed the delicate hint of her fragrance and with it his brain flooded with pictures of her. Her face was pretty , her twinkling eyes,dimpled chin ,long silky hair and her glistening teeth when she smiled. So much time had passed since her death, and all Chandra had left of her was the occasional fleeting memory. He had lost the sound of her voice and the touch of her skin. His chest ached as he thought of what he had lost. No one had ever replaced her, and no one ever would.!!

He began to speak to her I can never fathom why God would give me someone so good only to snatch them away again. I know you are safe with Him in heaven, loved and warm, but I can't reach you there. It's a cruelty to see the sunrise each new day devoid of you.

He thought the colors of spring will come but Dhara won't.come " He has to live.The ache of longing to be with her echoed through the very marrow of his bones. He spoke to himself I never knew that missing someone could take over every fibre of your being and wring you out like a wet sponge every day.

It is a torment I was unprepared for !Chandrasekhar did not knew how much time could have passed . His son's cry brought him back to the mortal world. He took his son and engulfed him in a tight embrace and tried to sleep !! Life was pulling him forward into the unknown with one hand.Will he ever able to see someone who will really take care of him and his son!! Time has its own answer.It will not reveal its cards before the destined hour!!!

Nonie12345 thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#42
Nice chapters Avantika😊
pinks0986 thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#43
Dear Avantika,

You have made me your fan..wonderful piece of work dear 👏👏👏 You have expressed the emotions so beautifully dear...exceptional work!!! Its not all easy thing to write a fictional story...but you have written it so well just just just awesome...😃😃

I have huge expectations from you for the love scene in this story ..i mean how they both will fall in love for each other 😛😛😛

Great work...keep it up dear...Cheers!! 🤗🤗
k.taddy1234 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 8 years ago
#44
Nice and beautiful chaperone you write emotion beautifully of CS
JanakNandini thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#45

Originally posted by: shailusri1983

It was a very touching chapter. We saw how Dhara died. What is very interesting is that her place in Chandrasekar's life has still not been filled. The wounds are still festering even today. Now it remains to be seen if Nandini will be that soothing balm for Chandra and Bindu. What they lost to time in the form of Dhara will time return it to them in the form of Nandini?



Yes Shailu.. You are absolutely correct. It is bound to happen but not soon. Before that they have to know and understand each other. They have not come across each other as of now. Even if they do ,it will take a lot of time to realize and reciprocate their feelings.

JanakNandini thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#46
Thanks a lot Aunty. I am very happy to know that you loved this chapter. To write this particular chapter was a biggest challenge for me. I wanted to bring out his feelings and love for his deceased wife. Honestly I expected the serial to do this,but they have cruelly killed my expectations. They have further massacred the charm of chandini.

Regards
Avantika




Originally posted by: sashashyam

My dear Avantika,




You have every reason to be pleased with this chapter. It is not easy to portray gut-wrenching grief without becoming maudlin. You have managed it here. That is why I specially liked the part that I have put in bold, and in that, the part in bold italics is superb.

I was also glad that you did not mix this part up with other rasas, but limited it to shoka. That deepens its impact.

Shyamala Aunty

JanakNandini thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#47

Originally posted by: Nonie12345

Nice chapters Avantika😊


Thanks Nonie..
JanakNandini thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#48

Originally posted by: pinky_rajatfan

Dear Avantika,

You have made me your fan..wonderful piece of work dear 👏👏👏 You have expressed the emotions so beautifully dear...exceptional work!!! Its not all easy thing to write a fictional story...but you have written it so well just just just awesome...😃😃

I have huge expectations from you for the love scene in this story ..i mean how they both will fall in love for each other 😛😛😛

Great work...keep it up dear...Cheers!! 🤗🤗


Thanks Pinky
JanakNandini thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#49

Originally posted by: k.taddy1234

Nice and beautiful chaperone you write emotion beautifully of CS


Thanks K taddy
siva06 thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#50
silhouette of the past...sorry dear I equated every line with our Chandra and Bindu...a

feeling of pensive sadness engulfed me...I imagined Chandra sitting with B and

engrossed in soliloquy.. Your narration engage us in broody and serious

mood..THAT is the success of the story

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".