Posted:
Hello guys, I hope you're all doing fine 😉
How to be just in polygamy - to wives and children?
Well, this question's been bugging me for quite a while. There's nothing wrong with polygamy, per se, but only as long as it's treaded carefully and there's justice and equality in such (a) relationship(s) which is anything but easy.
Bindusara loves Dharma, we know that. And yes, even in a polygamous marriage, it's obvious that the husband will love one wife more than the others. It's just how human nature functions- you can't love all wives equally, that's not possible. One can't break his heart into several, equally large pieces to give away. You can't control feelings. Yet, even such marriages can be successful (it's not impossible, as history tells), but how exactly?
I think it was a mistake on Bindusara's side to confess to Noor that he loves Dharma and won't be able to love anyone else (the same) - on their wedding night. That was simply insensitive of him and of course, Noor was shocked and angered by that. I'm not defending her or her hatred for Dharma whom she doesn't even know, but I believe that Bindusara approached that matter wrongly - which brings up another point: Should the husband tell his wives that he really loves only one of them or one more than the others? Is that wise? In my opinion, it's anything but.
He should treat them all equally - and their children, too. Even if he loves one more, he shouldn't show it in front of the others. He shouldn't prefer one wife over the other (or the child of one wife over another's, though that does also happen with only one wife, I guess) - that only brings about resentment and hatred. From what I have observed, Bindusara seems quite aloof, indifferent to his wives (and I'm talking only about the serial-Bindusara); even today when he was doing pooja with Charumitra, he was thinking about Dharma. Alright, one can't point to that as a mistake - but he is distant from his wives. That might also be a reason why the whole Noor-Justin affair started (which isn't an excuse, just a reason)- that she felt neglected. Un-loved. Or his 4th wife - she doesn't live with him, alright, but doesn't he ever go to visit her? I was just thinking that he probably didn't because he mentioned how much his son had grown since the last time he had seen him.
He doesn't even realize the hatred/rivalry between Noor and Charumitra or he doesn't pay much attention to it, dismissing it, somehow. Why else wouldn't he try to do something? This rivalry is obviously affecting his sons, too, and does see it. He said (Friday, I believe) that he wants love to grow between his sons - so, shouldn't he do something for it instead of letting his wives handle this? He sees what a brat Sushim is, but only sighs at him and hopes that Chanakya can help Sushim. Hence, he didn't even reproach him properly for the stunt with the knife he pulled on Siamak! It seems as if he prefers Sushim (since he's eldest) - though, he shouldn't have let him just be after seriously trying to kill (or hurt) his little brother.
The mothers have quite the influence over their sons, poisoning their minds - they're slipping away from their father and Bindusara doesn't even see it. That makes me wonder if he'd be more attentive towards Ashoka - as he's Dharma's son? He already likes him a lot not knowing that he's his son.
Dharma was right - Bindusara wants peace for his realm, yet doesn't notice or do anything against the tension and negative feelings within his own family.
And in this chaos, push in favourite wife Dharma and her son Ashoka. I doubt that Bindusara will be able or even try to hide his love for Dharma and thus, Ashoka. It will strengthen the hatred in Noor and Charumitra even more which they will focus on Dharma instead of each other, not to forget Sushim's jealousy of Ashoka (he's already hell bent on killing Ashoka).
Well, that is everything but a happy family, huh 😆 What are your thoughts on this?
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
CID
