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CANDID CONFESSION: We never kept anything under wraps. The day Abhishek informed me that he had proposed, we went across to meet Aishwarya's family to confirm the union, says Big B (TOI Photo)

The wedding aroused intense curiosity but was scrupulously kept away from public gaze. Now, for the first time, Amitabh Bachchan tells TOI's Mohua Chatterjee and Mahendra Kumar Singh about the joy, emotions and frustrations that came with the Abhiash wedding.

Now that Abhishek and Aishwarya are married, can you tell us why it was the news of the wedding kept under wraps until Jaya Bachchan confirmed it on the Filmfare night?

We never kept anything under wraps. The day Abhishek informed me that he had proposed, we went across to meet Aishwarya's family to confirm the union. This was confirmed to the media by me personally. The date of marriage took time because many things were under consideration. An auspicious date, availability of all concerned — Abhishek and Aishwarya were tremendously busy and in between shooting schedules, as was yours truly. Jaya was busy with Parliament and UP elections as was Amar Singhji — that had to be taken into consideration. Then the extent of the marriage. The guests, the location, the numbers, who to invite and how. And most importantly, how to execute all this with the sensitive issue of my mother lying critically ill in hospital.

Well, are you happy now?

I am grateful to the almighty that everything went off well. We had desired an intimate occasion with relatives and close friends. We had desired a common invitation card, a common venue, common mutual friends, certain sanctity, which all such occasions demand, and we got all of that. It is not easy to conduct the happiest moment in the lives of two people joining in holy and everlasting matrimony without continuously thinking and worrying on my mother's condition, who is lying critically ill in hospital. So you visit the hospital in the course of the day and see your mother, the epitome of beauty and vibrant energy, lying listless, still, gaunt, a sheer frame of bones, not able to communicate or see or recognise anything or anyone, not able to move a limb, fed by a tube which punctures her stomach, to not be able to hear or respond to her son calling out to her.

And you just stand there by her bedside, helpless and frustrated and you walk out of the hospital, switch your mood diametrically to laughter and gaiety and happiness, for the joy that a son's marriage would bring to any father in the world to get involved and busy in arranging moments of fun for the happiest and most important day in his son's life. It's abnormal and it's tough and it takes everything to be able to accomplish that with some amount of respect, dignity and resolve. I never wanted to talk about this but I guess you have caught me in an emotional moment and I shall succumb to it, knowing full well that this shall be publicly consumed, perhaps without empathy.

This was easily the most talked about wedding in recent times. How did you feel about the way it played out in the media?

I will not comment on the media attention. But I will say a few things. I, nor any other immediate family member ever asked for media attention. We kept it personal and private. By continuously writing about it, the media made it nauseatingly public. Not a single detail carried had any endorsement from either family of its authenticity. This is not the media's wedding, it is my son's and it is my private affair. On the night of the wedding, Abhishek and Aishwarya wanted to seek my mother's blessings. They were chased and hounded and virtually made captive inside their car at the hospital premises and were unable to come out of it. They had to forgo that moment and left without being able to take the blessings of my mother by touching her feet.

At the time of the bidai, we were running against time. Aishwarya had to step into the house, auspiciously, before sunset. A cruel traffic jam on the highway delayed us. There was another emergency in the car — Amar Singhji took seriously ill. As we neared Prateeksha, photographers mobbed us, stood in front of the car, preventing its movement. In the scuffle that followed with the security, there were unfortunate injuries. I regret that this happened. I have, with folded hands, apologised on behalf of my security to the media. The security involved in the incident was not my personal hired security. Still, they threw stones at my house, they abused me through slogans outside my house throughout the night. I have done whatever best we could do in these circumstances, with utmost dignity. If that is still an issue with the media, I am sorry I cannot do more. I read today that despite all this, they wish to boycott me and my family. What can I say, it's a free country, everyone has the freedom of his or her rights. I shall respect their decision. Me and my family are not worth it in any case.

Why was the wedding kept such a low key affair when public interest in it was obvious?

My mother's critical condition.

Your marriage was also a private affair?

Yes, that's the way Jaya and I wanted it. Abhishek and Aishwarya left it to our discretion and decision how the wedding was to be conducted.

There is a buzz that the exclusive world rights of the marriage visuals have been acquired by a foreign magazine? Do you plan to release them?

This is false and incorrect. No such offer has come and even if it did, we would reject it.

There must be considerable heartburn among fellow actors and others in the industry over the restricted invite list...

We did what we felt right under the circumstance. If they understand it, fine. If they do not, it's also fine — they were never friends in the first place then.

Would you like Aishwarya to continue with her acting career?

Yes, no problem or issue from us. In fact, Jaya and I have insisted on Aishwarya that she must.

Will the newly-wed couple move out into their own apartment or continue to live with you?

They will live with us. And this decision came voluntarily from both Abhishek and Aishwarya.

How will you feel if she continues to use her maiden surname?

She desires to use Bachchan as her surname. And she signed her first autograph in Tirupati as Aishwarya Bachchan.

There is a lot of curiosity about the rituals that were followed. Was it a mixed affair? Your marriage was also a cross-cultural affair.

The marriage rites were held according to the bride's desire, in their culture, through their pandits, with their rituals. One pundit did it. One from our side gave the couple blessings after the formal rituals were over. Yes, my marriage was cross-cultural. As a family, my father never believed in caste or cultures. He, a Kayasth, married a Sikh in 1942. I married a Bengali, my brother Ajitabh married a Sindhi, my daughter married a Punjabi, and now my son a south Indian.

Were you really concerned about her being a Manglik?

I do not know what a Manglik is or means, or whether I need to be concerned about it. To me, when two individuals make up their mind to marry, that's all that matters.

Just before he proposed to Aishwarya, Abhishek along with you and Jayaji had walked all the way to Siddhivinayak temple to seek the blessings of Ganpati. After marriage, the first thing that the family did was to visit Tirupati to seek the blessings of Balaji. You also offered prayers at Varanasi's Vishwanath temple and at Vindhyachal. Is any of these your family deity?

I do not know what is the meaning of a 'family deity'. I and my family respect all faiths and religions. My father habitually built little handmade temples in every house we lived in. Apart from temples, I regularly visit the Haji Ali dargah in Mumbai. We have been to all the temples you mention but the reasons given and their timings are all wrong. We walked to Siddhivinayak because we felt like going there, we have done it before on several occasions. We went to Tirupati, twice recently within a week. Varanasi was to offer prayers on my father's birth anniversary on November 27. We have been holding a kavi sammelan in Lucknow on that day since his passing away. Last year we could not hold a celebration because my mother was in hospital, so Jaya suggested that it would be nice if all of us went to Varanasi to pray instead. So we all got together there. Aishwarya, in Delhi then, expressed a desire to visit the temple. So we took her along — not for some Manglik puja as incorrectly reported. Vindhyachal is the temple where Amar Singhji's children had their 'mundan' ceremony and it is sacred to him. Yes, Aishwarya went too because by then the engagement was announced and she had become family. The 'sindoor in the maang' speculation was wrong again. It was a tika from the temple. But yes, the sindoor from the deity there is considered sacred and we did bring some for the wedding. Abhishek put that sindoor in her maang.

Now that the wedding is done, what are you looking forward to?

The extreme joy of coming back home from work to spend time with my bahurani.