Members Topic: How true is this?

Grumpydwarf24 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 months ago
#1


I am not talking about public figures or celebrities per se, they know they have signed up for criticism the day they became public figures. If they can accept the fan adulation with open arms they can take the critique and improve to entertain or be a better leader etc. I am talking about people you know or interact with either virtually or in person.


There is a truth to this even if you switch verbs.
Like :
You will never be criticized by someone who is doing more than you. You will only be criticized by someone doing less.
You will never be criticized by someone working harder than you. You will only be criticized by someone working less.
You will never be criticized by someone achieving more than you. You will only be criticized by someone achieving less.


In short: Do you often find that those who criticize you the most are often unaccomplished losers themselves? That they are the ones who are most likely to take everything personally. That these losers will often go on a rampage pointing out flaws in you to feel better about themselves.

Edited by Grumpydwarf24 - 7 months ago

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Grumpydwarf24 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 months ago
#2

To further elaborate my point I found an article about why we criticize other people.


You probably love to criticize other people because you were criticized a lot as a young person.

You criticize people to feel better about yourself

The second most frequent reason why people criticize others is to feel better about themselves. If someone’s success or personality is too shiny, it’s easy to throw dirt at it, and the shininess instantly loses its brightness. At least a little bit; in our eyes. What a relief. Not.

It’s been statistically proven that we are very indulgent towards ourselves and much harsher and judging towards others. We have double standards to protect our egos.

If somebody is better in something important to us or owns something we want or outruns us in a competition, we must quickly find all the reasons why they aren’t as good as they appear; otherwise we feel humiliated.

You criticize other people because you envy them

Criticizing others to feel better about yourself and criticizing out of envy are closely connected motives. They are a slightly different tones of the same voice. Let me explain.

It’s in our genes to hate unfairness. And when somebody gets something we want in a very unfair way, or when we feel life was unfair to us and kind to others, brutally strong feelings of envy arise.

Examples of situations that usually make us envious, because life is unfair:

  • A friend gets lucky and earns much more money, much more easily than we do
  • A parent shows more attention to a sibling than to us
  • A coworker gets promoted, but we obviously deserve the promotion more
  • A colleague is talented and doesn’t have to work so hard to be good at a certain sport
  • We offer much better support to our kids than we had, but it seems they don’t appreciate it
  • We can find many similar situations

All these situations are very unfair. Well, life can be extremely unfair sometimes and that hurts. We protect ourselves with many different rationalization mechanisms. We protect ourselves with self‑delusion.

“Sour grapes” and “sweet lemons” are two very frequent rationalization mechanisms. With self-deception, you make things that you want but don’t have less desirable (sour grapes) and things that you do have but are not that important to you more desirable (sweet lemons).

Criticizing others is absolutely a way to make grapes less sweet – to make other people’s accomplishments less worthy, to make relationships less important, and what other people have irrelevant.

In a way, we could say that criticizing others is often an easy way to express frustrations and other negative emotions. But criticizing other people or complaining won’t help. Only a superior life strategy and going into action to improve your life will.


Edited by Grumpydwarf24 - 7 months ago
Grumpydwarf24 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 months ago
#3

https://hackspirit.com/people-who-criticize-everyone-but-themselves-usually-have-these-traits/

2) They’re insecure and have low self-esteem


It becomes a mask they wear to try to present an image to the outside world. They’re also trying to inflate their own sense of self-worth by picking up on the flaws in others.

The thing they are trying to hide from others, and often even from themselves, is that they feel inadequate or inferior.

Faced with these crippling emotions, criticizing others can help them feel better about themselves.

It’s essentially a defense mechanism, a shield against their own insecurities.

That’s why it doesn’t matter whether the criticism is valid or not. They will always find something to hone in on, no matter how inconsequential.

Because the real point of it isn’t to improve standards, it’s to allow them to feel superior.

Edited by Grumpydwarf24 - 7 months ago
infinity101 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 months ago
#4

Generally speaking? Yes. People who are successful or doing good in their lives work very hard on a daily basis, have a positive mindset and they seldom have time to discuss or criticise others.Bitter people often criticise others continuously since they are jealous,insecure, fed up of their own lives etc. I know it’s an old overused quote but I do believe in it that someone who constantly feels the need to pull you down, it means you are already above them. Baki it also depends upon person to person.

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Posted: 7 months ago
#5

I think it’s a very contextualized issue.

Yes some people do have inferiority complex and will act out in jealousy or bitterness. But there are a lot of lazy, incapable, or just bad people around. Specially in a work environment. Sometimes a colleague the whole office is b!thing about really is a slacker who passes the bucket constantly.


The articles definitely make good points but those are not generalized points.

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Posted: 7 months ago
#6

I do find that excessive criticism can be a sign of low self esteem. The criticism on this forum is entirely based on assumptions. None of us know Bollywood stars in person and neither do we know other members in person to be able to tell what they are like. We judge based on interviews for stars and posts for other members.

Posted: 7 months ago
#7

All those who consistently bash Alia, Ranbir, Ash etc. please read the op smiley14

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Posted: 7 months ago
#8

Yep. It’s called crab mentality. Often exhibited in abundance by those who need a strategy to cope with feelings of inadequacy.


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Bekind thumbnail
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Posted: 7 months ago
#9

Originally posted by: NathuPaapi

All those who consistently bash Alia, Ranbir, Ash etc. please read the op smiley14


let’s not forget deepveer interview of kwk who got so much abuse and the topic went to 100 pages plus.

Posted: 7 months ago
#10

Originally posted by: Bekind


let’s not forget deepveer interview of kwk who got so much abuse and the topic went to 100 pages plus.

Hence the etc. in my post smiley36

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