Members topic - is your gut feeling correct?

So, I have a question for the members here as I am facing a situation in my personal life.

Is there a thing like the gut feeling and should you trust it, especially when it comes to a person/romantic relationship? Everything seems great on the surface and even the talks from the guy, but something inside me is resisting him and it just doesn't feel right although he has made super grand gestures from the time I have met him (like traveling for me, gifts, being invested in my day, future, super emotionally available, etc.), I have noticed some red flags which aren't good for me and got evidence from his behavior too to support them.

For example, he doesn't respect boundaries and seems self-centered, plus he talks big things when it comes to his work and initially I thought he was really great professionally only to be told by my very close friend who works at his company that his work is terrible, and he has a reputation of talking big in the office and no one takes him seriously plus is terrible at handling pressure situations. Even his own Dad is disappointed in him because they except more as he is touching 30s. Basically, all fluff and no substance types.

And, he keeps talking about the property my grandad owns and how I am sitting on a 'sone ki chidiya' which kind of makes me believe he sees me as a way of getting rich quickly (buts he also speaks about other things).

Plus, I have noticed he is prone to taking reckless decisions which even my friend confirmed.

I have had a very traumatic life and I honestly cannot take setbacks anymore and I live in a very toxic environment at home, so it's easy for me to fall for the feel good factor in anybody. My mind and body rejects him for some reason - I don't know why. Even he has asked me why after everything he has done I am unable to give myself.

I really need help and guidance here as this thing has screwed up with my head. Is it my gut telling me something or is it just because I am emotionally overwhelmed and thus unavailable? Also, I tend to see every romantic connection as a ray of hope to escape my current environment which can make me prone to wrong decisions for myself.

I always always always trust my gut. There are times when you cannot vocalize or rationalize why you are getting a certain feeling but its our subconscious mind which 100% picks up on it. Your body tries to tell you something is wrong even before you can explain it.

Here it sounds like there is some evidence to back up why you're having second thoughts. He sounds a bit like a walking red flag

You’ll be surprised how right your gut can be. More often than not, trust it. On a similarish personal note, was once with a guy that was perfect in so many ways. There was literally only ONE thing that I was doubtful about from the start, and eventually that one thing ended up happening. But equally, try not to self sabotage. The not being where you want to in life professionally by a certain age isn’t the end of the world. Is he ambitious enough or does he have the potential to make something of himself is probably more important. As far as the sone ki chidiya comments go, tell him you’re donating that money to charity and see how he reacts lol

The initial red flags you ignore will always turn into the main problem in your relationship. From the way you’ve written this post, it’s obvious you already know and it’s bothering you enough to reach out. All the warning signs you’ve raised is a walking breathing turn off. Trust your instinct and walk away.

Talking about ur property n he is not efficient n big talks seems red flags . Trust ur gut/instincts n take decision , it helps .

Always trust your gut.

Never ignore your gut feeling, instinct and intuition.

In any aspect of life.

I have ruined my life due to ignoring my gut feeling and listening to others, taking pressure or influence of family, social circle and teachers.

I regret every moment how I had everything so obvious in front of me. Yet I still went ahead.

The things you mentioned, are problematic indeed and I feel it will be hard to handle such a person for you in future, especially if you have had a difficult life earlier.

If you notice red flags, do not ignore them. The way you typed the post, it seems you also already know the answer you are looking for and you know what is wrong.

It depends.. at times maybe yes.. at times not

Apparently Gut is the second brain. Never underestimate it.

The fact that this bothered you enough to seek advice from BWF should solidify that it's gnawing at you and you don't trust him enough. That's never a good feeling to carry in a relationship. Relationships are never perfect and there are ups and downs but not to the extent that you start doubting the certainty of it all. Trust your gut feeling and walk away. I've never heard of someone wallowing for trusting their gut feeling, it's always the other way around - people regretting situations they landed in because they did not trust their intuition.